im batman

my name is jordan and i love cats and pizza. not necessarily together.

[andrewbelami]

[fiercefatfeminist]

[woodmeat]

we can stay in the bed all day but u gon wash ya ass and brush ya teeth

[you-aremysunshine-deactivated20]

if you’re ever proud of me and say ‘that’s my girl’ I can guarantee my heart will melt into a little puddle of happiness 

[sydneyrenee]

Pulp Fiction ~ 1994

[ruinedchildhood]

[vinesnow]

when people point out bra straps - more vines

[ellenripleysbelieveitornot]

Can Suburban Mom insults become a thing?

“It’s a ‘bake sale’, Judy, not a ‘baked-goods-you-bought-at-the-store sale.’”

“Oh, Diane! What an… interesting track suit! Such an… exciting color!”

“Karen, if I put you down for snacks at the PTA meeting next Tuesday, will you remember to bring them this time?”

“Oh, Carol, I heard Jackson made the honor roll! You know, Kevin’s been on it three years in a row, now? But this will only be your first bumper sticker, right?”

“See you on the soccer field sidelines, Helen.”

“Oh, Jan, you want to run the carpool? But don’t you have a station wagon? Maybe I should do it, I have a minivan.”

[ventrue]

“How was that fun pizza, Linda?”

[ruinedchildhood]

[hennii]

every show on nickelodeon has made some boob jokes and no one has noticed until now

[tittled]

[myhiddencuriosities-deactivated]

I kinda like my rolls in black and white…

[tittily]

whenever im sad i just think about how the welsh word for microwave is popty ping

[connercant]

that.. that helps.

[kristenmayhew]

[sighsomemore]

[amroyounes]

The secret to lasting relationships ;)

[nlxy]

And they say romance is dead

[shubbabang]

[boxedvixen]

ITS SO CUTE I HAVE TO REBLOG IT AGAINN

[yaritzalikeszombies]

I WANNA BE THIS KIND OF PARENT

[solosclark]

#i was surprised this didnt end in some sort of murder #i’ve been on tumblr too long

[imcolinshea-blog]

“Ye”

[thewilkersons]

[foxensterren-deactivated2018020]

One of the best scenes of Malcolm in the Middle ever.

[american-crhapsody]

that fucking kid took one for the team