Facts About Elves

Known facts relating to Elf behavior, culture, anatomy, etc. (Yes you can steal any of these for your world-building if you want)

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Some folk assume Elves and Orcs have a contentious relationship. This is untrue, Elves and Orcs have a bond that runs so vastly deep it is simply incomprehensible to the outside observer.

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Termites are a kind of Elven subspecies.

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The elves thank you for your work in educating the public

Yes they do!

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I have an elf fact for you. Elf’s are skreeble skrimbols who are far inferior to goblins. 😈😈

Slander in the inbox!! Much work went into the Goblin-Elf "Best Friends Forever Now, For Real This Time" treaty of the 7th lunar age. Will you throw it all away so flippantly my good wizardgoblin???

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The Elven version of "Hell" is remarkably similar to a normal human golf course.

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Elven fletchers can make arrows that will play a nice little tune while they fly through the air toward their targets.

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Elves are highly adaptable to their local terrain, hence the differing characteristics of Wood Elves and Sea Elves. In more recent times this adaptability has given rise to newer Elf types such as Mall Elves, Cubicle Elves, Hardware Store Lighting Section Elves, Skate Park Elves, and Highway Elves.

[headspace-hotel]

show me the hardware store lighting section elves

[herbgerblin]

Here's my take on them. Are they really small as they hang off the lights? Are they people-sized and use featherweight magic? You decide. I kind of imagined the attire as a cross between circus costumes (acrobats) and sci-fi (electronic appliances) with a lot of jewelry/sequins to reflect all the lights. Eye pupils have to constrict a lot since they are in a bright environment. They don't have to travel via swinging, but it's very fun. Also shiny freckles!

Image descriptions in alts.

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Yes!! This is exactly what Hardware Store Lighting Section Elves look like.

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Elf master carpenters are known to make such exquisitely crafted rocking chairs that a single rock back and forth in one can heal years, even decades, of emotional trauma.

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Elves are allergic to Tuesdays.

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No elf has ever lost a skiing competition.

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Elves can change the weather if a group of them sings about it very somberly and seriously for a little while.

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Elves come in all shapes and sizes and colors and textures and difficulty ratings and voltages and hardiness zones and viscosities and acidity levels.

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Is there any negative consequence to an Elf smoking human weed?

Yes, they go through human weed far too quick as they are used the potent, magical, high-key, seeing-green, mario kart boost pad, grinched-out, fast pass, slip-n-slide, no exit ramp, girls just wanna have fun, 99 luftballons high of Elf Weed.

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i have no idea if you've answered this before, but do elves die when you pull their hair?? asking for a friend

I have not answered this before, no. Elves will not die when their hair is pulled, but it does produce quite a sharp and often painful sensation to Elves, quite similar to the feeling humans experience when (for example) someone pulls on their hair.

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As part of the treaties signed at the end of the 2nd Great Troll War, Elves are now forbidden from eating coffee cake after 11:00 am.

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How do elves make their beds?

One leg at a time just like everyone else.

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Just found your blog, very informative! I noticed that elves seem to be at least partially reliant on silk, is there any biological reason for this?

Also, what did the elves do before silk was invented?

Astute observation! Elves co-evolved with silk worms and both are still quite dependent on the other. Simply put, there was no before and there will be no after.