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if i look back, i am lost
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@elfwannabe
someone: hey I noticed this thing you did in your writing!
me, kicking my feet up flirtatiously: oh??? do you want to hear my thoughts on why I did that? do you want a play-by-play of the language choices in every related sentence? do you want an exhaustive breakdown of The Themes???
Magical stained glass
so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.
so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT
i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.
HE GONE.
WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.
*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*
in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.
You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.
My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.
So when your gran said:
“pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already”
She was right. That was a prophecy. Perhaps she saw it in a dream. His ghost was like, “No flowers for ol’ Samuel, huh? Fine. I’ll just go get some myself!” and just repossessed his old bones and skedaddled right on out of there.
1915 Coney Island, New York, beach goers. From America in the 1910′s, FB.
I'm late to the paleontology drama but my god this is so funny
It’s going to be a bad night.
Look, if it’s a real ghost, the busters get custody. If it’s just a real estate developer in a costume it’s out of their jurisdiction so we gotta hand things off to these meddling kids and their dog.
Sit straight, ninny by tuuliky
me: I’m literally begging you to do the one task you need to do
my brain:
First day in the 1st grade
Their first hug 💕
light was such a loser cuz he didnt just google the 100 richest people and start writing down names
how would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and find out exactly 100 of the world’s richest people died of heart attacks at exactly noon universal time. can you imagine the theories. light is absolutely a loser for not doing this
[ID: Reply from elumind that says: “Do the richest one every week and see next in line lose their shit and try to get rid of the money. I think of this almost daily.” /end ID.]
The notes on this are wild because people are legit passionately arguing about why this wouldn’t work. No one said it would work. They said he’s a loser for not doing it.
There has to be a *pattern* to it, though, to really get their attention. Like it has to be the same time of day, the same day, each week.
The first one stands up and draws a massive A on the nearest wall before dropping dead.
Exactly one week later, Thursday at 3:13 PM, the next one looks up, blank-faced, and uses a car key to scratch the word ‘CAMEL’ into the side of their car. There are memes.
The week after that, in the middle of an interview, the third victim turns to the camera and says ‘THROUGH.’ He drops dead.
The man who writes “EYE” is in a private underground bunker. Enough radiation shielding to survive a direct nuclear strike. There are fifteen guards posted at the door- surveillance confirms not one of them left their post.
By the time “NEEDLE” is scratched into the upholstery of a private yacht, people are starting to give money away.
Like most of us I’ve thought extensively on this since I first saw Death Note and came to the conclusion that the most likely reaction would be people creating more byzantine ways of keeping hold of their resources while not technically counting them as personal resources and not technically being so rich. With enough shell companies, fake charities, and resources stashed in secret or illegal places or the bank accounts of relatives, people could keep most of what they have while dropping right off any list of wealthiest people. The wealthy are often experts at this for tax fraud reasons. Light’s response, of course, would be to start taking these things into account, seeking out hackers and accountants and various other experts to keep track of the actual wealthiest, and the wealthy (many of whom would be willing to risk their lives to stay that way) would use the dying as a metric for what the mysterious killer was using to score wealth and try to find ever more secret methods of resource hoarding. An accountancy arms race would be underway.
I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. I’m saying it would make a fantastic Death Note rewrite. Instead of Light making stupid mistakes against L, he could actually put his genius to work in Death Note: The Accountancy Wars.
holy shit, this isn’t even my fandom but i would read the hell out of this, it’s exactly the kind of crime thriller i love best.
OH. MY. GOD.
THIS IS BRILLIANT!!
Nigerians have created a new norm on the runway at the ongoing Vienna Fashion Week happening in Austria. Meant to be a display of latest fas
I’ve been looking everywhere for this 😭😭😭😭
Sold me on those dresses
“If you promise to stay alive just a little bit longer I promise that we are going to make this world a place worth living in by any means necessary. I ain’t giving up. I swear.”
Spotted in Clackamas, Oregon
I can’t stop thinking about this message, so I spent a while trying to isolate just the writing and make it transparent. I might order a shirt with it
Whoever in Clackamas wrote this message on their bus stop, I love you
Man I hate people who are like, super verbal about hating cats. NOBODY cares that you don’t like cats. Also I think you’re a bitch ass
