Even now that she’s said it for a second time, it still manages to hit Teddy just as hard as the first, & there’s a light in his eyes that he’s never had there before, a light that only words like boyfriend can draw out, spoken around a smile by blue-eyed girls. Normally his eyes look tired, glazed over, lifeless almost, but around Eleanor, they come to life, emerald orbs shining with pure, undiluted happiness. It’s helpful, really, that his eyes can show her how happy he is, because he knows by now that he’d never be able to describe how he feels with words. He’s a writer, yet he has no words for things like this – or at least, not without sounding like a cliché anyway. He can feel Eleanor smiling into the kiss, & he nudges his nose against hers softly, his hand resting on the small of her back, thumb tracing slow, soothing circles through the material of her shirt. When she pulls away, he opens his eyes to meet hers, lips shiny & red as he keeps his gaze focused on her, forehead tipping to press against hers. His hand reaches up to brush some hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear, & he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it. It’s just a habit now. ❝ You make me so happy, El, ❞ he speaks the words in a low mumble, just loud enough for her to hear. She’s the only one these words are designed for anyway. ❝ I can’t remember the last time I was happy. It sounds silly, but I don’t think I ever have been. I’m just scared of what will happen if it ends, like, if you decide you don’t want me any more one day. ❞ It’s easier to admit things when they’re like this, still trapped in a haze from their earlier kiss, not fully stuck in the haze, but not quite back in reality yet either. It almost doesn’t feel real. Teddy could admit anything right now & he wouldn’t even think twice about doing it – & he does in the end, with the words ❝ I love you, ❞ tumbling from his mouth, lingering in the space between them. He wonders what her reaction will be to hearing that. He wonders if she’s been told that before. He tells himself to not try & take back his words, to just leave them out in the open. He tells himself to breathe. He tells himself to wait.