Eli not Elijah

@ttahbe: 5am mornings = unhappy eli 17 ✵ junior ✵ artist

[elibhatt-archive]

instagram: @fuckeli uploaded a new photo

thrift shopping with @amewee ft. a bowtie to distract from my peeping chest

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[b-harwood]

There sat the wide-eyed girl with a glass of cold water, cool enough that the condensation hand started dripping down her wrist as she held it. “Can I at least see what you’re drawing?” Beth tried to sneak a peek from the other chair. “Please, Eli.” She pushed her glasses down her nose just enough that she could bat her eyelashes at him, “Please.”

[b-harwood]

[elibhatt-archive]

His pencil delicately balanced between his finger as it flowed across the stark white paper which was now home to several intricate lines, shapes and shading - although not much time had passed a small movement of his pencil across the paper had developed into something a bit more spectacular than that. Eyes focusing on the small, red head in front of him, his head shook, “Don’t try that with me Bethanie, and stop moving - you’ll ruin the drawing.”

[editorsgermany-blog]

Visit Original Link

[elibhatt-archive]

Songs about Eli

[dahliaaldr-blog]

Yeah, that one. Right, okay. Now, it makes a little more sense, like, why people watch it. Maybe I’ll give it a shot when I actually have time to watch it. It’s hard to decide what to watch when you have so little time to dedicate so you might as well watch something with good characters. Still, plot devices with lesbians and prison food puts me off a little.

[elibhatt-archive]

I mean, the show is about a lot more than just lesbians, it just happens to have lesbians in the show - to my knowledge I don’t think there’s a single character in the show who is known as just ‘The Lesbian’, their sexuality doesn’t define them and that’s pretty awesome. I mean as for the food, that tied in with racial tensions which was interesting to watch and was orchestrated very well by the writers - but yeah, the food just happened to be a part of it, I don’t want to spoil it for you, but honestly it’s great.

[dahliaaldr-blog]

“Is that Orange show even worth watching? Isn’t it just lesbians and prison food? Gross.”

[elibhatt-archive]

Orange is the New Black? Well, to be honest I love the show and but I’ll try to be unbias when I say that it’s truly great. In terms of it’s representation, diversity and ability to have so many well rounded and interesting character - there’s honestly no show like it. And yeah, there’s lesbians in it and the food in the prison at one point is used as a plot device but it’s very interesting how it happens. If you have the time, I’d at least check out season one.

[thecheyenneking-deactivated2015]

“Okay, help me pass my Biology final on Monday and these Drake tickets are yours.”

[elibhatt-archive]

As tempting as Drake tickets sound, I’m not going to lie to you and say I’m a bio whizz. I recommend seeking a GN, I’m sure they’ll help you out.

[tattyahna]

Tatiana tried to convince herself a long time ago that being home alone was fun. With Luca leaving on Saturday, she was by herself as soon as she got home from soccer practice and had nothing but the dead air as company and she hated it. It was at times like these where she was reminded of the times when her brother would go downstairs in the kitchen and make baked beans on toast, they’d sit in front of the television and fall asleep watching cartoon network. All she now had was herself, she couldn’t do that anymore. Violently wiping back tears when she heard the door, she opened it quickly opened it and her face relaxed instantly when she saw who it was. “I didn’t think you’d come.” she whispered and reached out for his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world.

[elibhatt-archive]

And despite everything, there wasn’t much he looked forward to seeing more. There was nothing playing, no music, the television was silent, there weren’t even any lights on. Tatiana had a bad habit of surrounding herself in darkness when it was all she felt inside. He made no attempt of an apology, there was no room for an ‘I’m sorry’ because all she needed to hear, had already been said to her. He took her hand and their fingers intertwined as he stepped through the threshold and closed the door behind him. “I always do.” Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her in so that her body was pressing against his. This was what they were, two people, two bodies who shared each others warmth - there was nothing more special that this moment, nothing more precious to him. “Do you brits not turn the lights on at night? The war is over you know, it’s okay to light a candle or two so you can see where you’re walking” He looked down at her, smiling and brushed a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. It was going to be okay. He thought, this time was going to be better, it had to be.

[actuallyungraceful]

Harder To Breathe - Grace & Eli

[actuallyungraceful]

It was comforting hearing from someone else that she didn’t have to be sure about herself. She’d felt all this pressure to figure herself out but she didn’t know why. It wasn’t like someone was forcing her to tell them what she was. She just wanted a word for it, maybe. But Grace was slowly starting to realize she didn’t need a label, she could just be her without worrying about it. “I know him, but I’ve never spoken to him…” In truth Grace was intimidated by other LGBT people because they were so much more outspoken than she was. She was afraid of not being welcomed by them or something. “That’s really cool.” She responded with a light smile. “I think it’s great, it opens you up to all kinds of love.”

[elibhatt-archive]

“He’s a cool guy, funny too.” Isaac was a lot of things, loud and at times obnoxious but just like Eli had been good for Isaac when he was questioning his sexuality, Isaac would be good to talk to about this - he could offer her a light hearted optimism that he couldn’t. “It’s just who I am I guess - I’ve been in relationships with boys, girls, non-binary people. It was weird when I was a kid, I saw everyone and thought that my attraction had no bounds - so kids were talking about how they could ‘never see themselves’ with someone of the same gender and I never felt like that.”

[elibhatt-archive]

INSTAGRAM: @fuckeli uploaded a new photo

trying my hand at photography 

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[inspiring-pictures]

I don’t care how complicated this gets, I still want you.

(via thatlesboflow)

[elibhatt-archive]

001; Gossip

Eli probably spent a whole hour at Prom before the crowding overwhelmed him too much. He silently went home, avoiding the after party and it was safe to say that he wasn’t missed. Since finding Grace and talking to her about her sexuality, he’s been self-reflecting on his past relationships and what they’ve meant to him and hopes if Grace has any more problems she’d come to him for help. His late night meetings with Tatiana (despite the fact that he assured himself it would no longer be the case) have started again, he’s pretty sure that her neighbours have noticed his frequent visits but honestly doesn’t care anymore and won’t hide their relationship for the sake of her popularity.

[stydiaislove]

[actuallyungraceful]

Harder To Breathe - Grace & Eli

[actuallyungraceful]

“Mhmm. We’re just friends though. It was like a dare, and exploration, or whatever…I guess I was trying to figure out if I just like Hanna or if I like girls in general. I’m still not entirely sure.” Grace spoke freely around him because she knew he wasn’t going to judge her. It wasn’t easy trying to be open with herself given that she was a Prayer Circle. Sure her school was a lot more liberal than most, but she was in one of the hardest cliques to be LGBT in. Not that she necessarily identified that way but she knew she wasn’t straight. “I know..Demiromantic asexual? Is that right?” She made a face, she wasn’t sure, it was all so overwhelming. But she was fairly sure that’s what she’d decided she was. Grace smiled. “Poly, that’s many, right? Pan is…all? Basically you’re super open minded?” She felt so ignorant to these concepts but they were all so new to her.

[elibhatt-archive]

“It’s okay not to be sure.” Even now Eli was unsure of his sexuality and what he identified as, he’d be more inclined to say that his sexuality was fluid, depending on the day, what he was in the mood for and how he was feeling but apparently he had to put a label on it. “If it sounds right to you, then I guess but yeah you can be demiromantic and asexual, I don’t know if you’ve ever spoken to Isaac Marrero? Very loud, very queer - anyway he identifies as demiromantic too. But not asexual though.” It was still beyond Eli why Isaac hadn’t been bumped ‘up’ to a Busy. “Uh huh... you could say that for sure.” 

[elibhatt-archive]

If Tatiana had texted him in the dead of night asking for him, then he deduced that she was in a pretty bad state. Why she had messaged him out of everyone was still a mystery - and despite the history between the two of them, she was always the one he couldn’t say no to. Most of the times he found himself sneaking into her house (which was a lot), he usually parked around the block and walked from there. But with him not giving a single shit if anyone saw him, he parked in front of her house and knocked on the front door instead of climbing through the window (there was that one time where Mack caught him, gave him a very Mack-smile before leaving him to do whatever he and Tatiana were doing that time round).

[actuallyungraceful]

Harder To Breathe - Grace & Eli

[actuallyungraceful]

It was strange receiving advice from someone she was pretty certain she’d never even spoken to. It was even stranger that it was good advice and that she felt so comforted by him. She hadn’t actually expected Eli to ask who her first kiss had been with and for a moment she felt her cheeks reddening. “Oh, um…” Grace thought back to the memory which wasn’t a bad one, really… “Do you know Slater? It was her.” She murmured, picking at her nails so that he couldn’t see her face. As he assured her that it was normal not to feel attraction she shrugged. “Actually, I was doing some exploring. Of like, sexualities and terms and whatnot. While I have feelings for Hanna, I think that I’m asexual. I guess that is a thing that can happen and it’s really the only thing that feels right to me. So, that’s me, I guess…And you’re an…LGBT person too?” She struggled to remember the acronym.

[elibhatt-archive]

“Oh yeah, the Jock? She’s nice.” It wasn’t too long ago that Eli found himself hanging out with the Jocks, however he was quick to remove himself from the top tier of the pyramid and find a safe haven with the Artists. “It’s possible to be romantically attracted to someone but not be sexually attracted to them - romantic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things and people vary on each spectrum.” He explained with a calm voice, Grace wasn’t the first person he’d had this conversation with - and she sure as hell won’t be the last. “Yeah, I mean I’ve always feel like my identity changes, at the moment at least I identify as a polyromantic pansexual, I’ve been in relationships with guys, girls and people that are non-binary.”

[actuallyungraceful]

Harder To Breathe - Grace & Eli

[actuallyungraceful]

“I mean, I’m not saying I don’t want to be her friend if she doesn’t feel the same way. I just…feel like I need to give her time and space.” Grace explained, twirling some of her hair around her finger nervously. She couldn’t eat lunch, her stomach was a wreck. “This is all new to me, I hadn’t even had my first kiss ‘til recently and I’ve never liked anyone like this before and it’s weird…”

[elibhatt-archive]

“Yeah, I understand that.” Perhaps giving Hanna some time and space was the best thing to do, if the girl did remember what happened that night then she would obviously want some time to think about it, but if she didn’t it could possibly turn into a case of ‘why are you ignoring me?’ which would force Grace to say what she had already said again. Eli was pretty aware of the fact that he was a good looking guy, and has since always seemed pretty open with being romantic. However, it always shocked him when people didn’t just experiment like he did when he was younger. “Well damn, and who was your first kiss with?” He was curious, it was definitely none of his business though. “Don’t worry, that’s completely normal - some people don’t start to feel any kind of attraction until their teens.”

[actuallyungraceful]

Harder To Breathe - Grace & Eli

[actuallyungraceful]

Grace was silent as Eli told her that he thought she was brave for admitting how she felt. She hadn’t looked at it that way. To her it was survival–something she had to do in order to keep on living her life the way she needed to live it. It wasn’t in Grace to live a lie. It had certainly been scary and something she’d been seriously wrestling with for months, though, and maybe he was right, maybe it took some bravery. It wasn’t the first time someone had called her brave. People said that all the time about her being blind. As if not being able to see somehow made her braver than most people. Why they thought that she didn’t know. “Thanks. I guess.” She shrugged and sighed all in the same moment. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. Should I just wait for her to talk to me?”

[elibhatt-archive]

“I’m being serious. It’s one of the bravest things a person can do - especially when they’re not sure of the repercussions.” Unwrapping the plastic film around his sandwich he ripped off the crust and chewed on it slowly as Grace spoke about her now obvious dilemma. “Talk to her, I mean are you even sure she remembered what you said? Even if she doesn’t feel the same way, you should at least try to maintain the friendship.”