Elinor's Blog Cabin.

My name is Elinor Jones. I am a writer in Portland, Oregon. twitter and insta: @elinorjoneser 

[elinorjo]

The following take is too controversial for twitter, but I keep seeing ads for Shotgun Wedding and I simply *must* be real:

J. Lo is too old to play the bride in a rom-com about an elaborate destination wedding! She's 53 years old! And obviously this is not to say that people in their 50s cannot find love and have beautiful weddings but like, this isn't that.

And our goddess Jennifer Coolidge is cast as Josh Duhamel's mom??? She's only 10 years older than him!

People need to be honest about who is and is not 30 years old. I love J. Lo but it's not her.

[elinorjo]

On a whim I uploaded my resume to ziprecruiter just to see what's out there and it's been reading the OR for Oregon as Orlando and I've been getting job tips for Orlando for several weeks. It's fun to see what's out there. Florida jobs don't pay shit.

[depsidase]

[elinorjo]

Where my book sluts at

[elinorjo]

A sampling of books I read this year.

I’m going on vacation for 10 days in 2 days. What should I read next??

(FWIW My favorite of the year so far was Nora Goes Off Script.)

[elinorjo]

THE TRASH REPORT: Kyrsten Sinem-UGH, Experts are Experts, Portland is Fun, and Celebs are Messy!

Hellooooo, Trash Panda family! Welcome back to the Trash Report. I'm your host, Elinor Jones. Lately I've been wondering if I should get on

My latest column for the Portland Mercury came out yesterday. It's not too bad for being by me, who are dumb.

[elinorjo]

Am I consistently masking indoors again because I am thoughtful and cautious or because this weather makes me constantly have little dangly snots and I'd rather not show them off? WHO KNOWS?!

[elinorjo]

how am i supposed to write on this machine that also shows me items that I could buy

[elinorjo]

But I do have my regular column for the Mercury still on 🔥. Click through! We love clicks. 😘

THE TRASH REPORT: Christmas Movies I'd Like to See, That One Guy, That Other Guy, and My Favorite Celebrity Gossip Conspiracy Theory About B

Hello, sweet baby Trash Panda angels! It's me, Elinor Jones, and this is my column, The Trash Report, which I've written from the inside of

[elinorjo]

During my puppy doula time of madness I started writing a romance novel! I've been at the part where they are about to kiss for the last week and I just can't get them there. The buildup is too good!

[elinorjo]

Would it be more practical to have white boots with bedazzled heels or green boots that are bedazzled everywhere??

[elinorjo]

Update: I bought these ones 😎

[elinorjo]

The puppies really delivered this morning. Their cuteness is unreal.

And yet I cannot wait to get them out of my goddamn house. They’ll go to their new families on Saturday and then we will deep clean this house until it’s sparkling.

[elinorjo]

Would it be more practical to have white boots with bedazzled heels or green boots that are bedazzled everywhere??

[elinorjo]

Should I buy these?

[unrealunearths]

i’m in this picture and i don’t like it, it’s a whole thing

[elinorjo]

So hungry but the puppies are sleeping on me so obviously I cannot move

[elinorjo]

Since I havent been on here for a long time you may not know that we adopted a sweet pug named Dolly from a shelter in September and after two weeks we were like “damn, this pug is getting fat” and then a couple days after that we were like “is she pregnant?” and then a couple days after THAT she had to have an emergency c-section and almost died but she survived and now we have Dolly and two puppies 🥰