MEANT TO BE A WARRIOR

Hey there, party people! Elise Harcourt at your service (and to those of you with pervy minds, just don't go there). Curiosity only killed Schrodinger's cat, okay? I'm seventeen years old and I hail from East Bellbrooke, although I'm not sure that's really PC now that the walls have come down? Either way, there's an 87.5% chance that we will get along just swimmingly so long as you tell me my desserts are awesome. I'm a history nerd, a physics nerd, a steampunk nerd, but don't call me a nerd, you nerd. ♚ ♛ ♝ ♞ ♜ ♟

[jacquelynmoreau]

Nope. You and me. Search party. Right now.

[eliseharcourt]

Jacks, it’s been three days. I’ve looked everywhere. He’s probably starving. Unless he figured out how to eat grass. And what about water?

[eliseharcourt]

No sign of Pancakes. I think it’s time I gave up.

[tysonjeffers]

It was an accident. It could have happened to anyone. I still have high hopes that someone’s going to find him and he’ll be home again soon.

[eliseharcourt]

I hope so.

[kaceywhitaker]

That doesn’t mean that we won’t find him. You won’t be taking my money, whoever returns Pancakes will be. He’s worth it and you’re worth it.

[eliseharcourt]

Thank you, but I’d rather you put the money towards something else.

[tysonjeffers]

I’m ready for another shift of looking for the little guy, unless you have some good news? I’m really hoping that you do. I’m so sorry that this happened.

[eliseharcourt]

No news, but it’s not good news. It’s my own stupid fault for letting him out of his cage when the door was open.

[kaceywhitaker]

We’ll find him; I’ll ask Jackie to let her friends at the animal shelter know to keep an eye out for him and I’ll make flyers to post around town. I have, like, fifty dollars that I can offer as a reward.

[eliseharcourt]

I didn’t find him last night or today. I can’t take your money.

[puckerup]

I feel like cats and rabbits would be chill together. They’d kick back and talk crap about dogs. That wolf thing, yeah, that one would suck. Rabbits can’t swim or something?

[eliseharcourt]

He’s only a baby.

[kaceywhitaker]

Um, I don’t know how to respond to this without talking about the situation but if you want I will totally camp out in your yard to keep an eye out for him.

[eliseharcourt]

I feel like I don’t have a heart anymore.

[puckerup]

Then at least you don’t gotta worry about cars or kidnapping. C’mon, Candy, there’s no way you’d get turned away from the mansion. 

[eliseharcourt]

What about cats and wolves and lakes?

[puckerup]

Check where your neighbors keep their carrots, or where all the hot single rabbits hang out.

[eliseharcourt]

I live in a barn in the middle of nowhere and I could not get a ticket into the Playboy mansion tonight.

[puckerup]

Check where you keep the carrots.

[eliseharcourt]

I tore my whole house apart. My mother painted the bathroom so the front door has been open all day for fresh air.

[eliseharcourt]

Pancakes is missing.

I don’t want to talk about it. If anybody sees him, please scream my name.

[kaceywhitaker]

Really? You will?

[eliseharcourt]

Yeah. I will.

[tysonjeffers]

Thank goodness.

That isn’t like any regular cake that I’ve ever had around. A regular cake to me is just a flat rectangle boxy shaped thing, that may or may not be lopsided with terrible icing. That was none of those things. Did you get to see their face when they picked it up?

[eliseharcourt]

Hey, I make those flat rectangle boxy things, too! But no, I didn’t. I wish I did, honestly. My shift ended like, three hours before the bride came to get it.

[tysonjeffers]

Uhm, use your imagination?

[eliseharcourt]

Touché. I will.

[eliseharcourt]

If you transform into any one animal or creature, which one would it be?

A unicorn. Because like, look at me.

[tysonjeffers]

Maybe what I really should have said is, make me?

[eliseharcourt]

And how on earth would I do that?