[email protected]

[phoebebufay]

[hashtagparksandrec]

[littlethingwithfeathers]

May I strive to be like this.

[onlytwitterpics]

[perhapsarat]

has anyone ever before been so comprehensively torn to shreds in their life tho

[dalekofchaos]

My favorite part about that line is that it implies that Gilderoy Lockhart was a more competent teacher than Dolores Umbridge. And that may be the biggest insult in the entire series.

[animentality]

Minerva left no fucking survivors with that one.

[prideprejudce]

hands down the best twitter story ever

[prideprejudce]

bonus

[slimetony]

This rice tastes like plastic

[fading-into-obscurity]

You know what plastic tastes like?

[slimetony]

I used to eat board game pieces as a kid to bring fun into my body next question

[kesus-deactivated20180911]

Me @ space: “what’s up with black holes” Space: “my spussy??”

[foxy-mulder-deactivated20190929]

this is it, the post that incurs armageddon, it was nice knowing you guys

[gemstone-deactivated20180927]

straight people writing a gay character

22 year old jack, named after jack twist from brokeback mountain, wearing stylish pink clothes mainly gucci and shades with a typical popular fuckboy-like blonde hairstyle and ear piercings and bright blue eyes: OH MY GAGA! cheyenne, you cant just go on your date with eric in THAT! this is a fashion EMERGANCY!!!!! eric is soooo into you and me, a boy expert, knows all to well that you need a cashmere scarf to go with that shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! youll get laid in NO TIME

[movingblogsbye-deactivated20170]

[nellyfg]

Such great pictures ! [x]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[liketheinferno]

[talking about the body i inhabit] “idk i just work here”

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

my dashboard just ends right here

[snakeloch]

you’ve seen enough

[thecommonchick]

OMG SPOTIFY IS CLEVER AF 😂

[nyokoko]

This curve is next level I’m screaming.

[raevn]

my gf: hey babe can i use your phone for a minute?

me: yeah love just a sec *deletes all the wholesome gf memes that i haven’t sent to them yet because i don’t wanna ruin the surprise*

[chizuu-deactivated20200817]

you know how people call characters their wives/husbands/etc? well, i think i’m going to start claiming relations to fictional characters just to fuck with people. so, anyways, this one time i was out with my cousin, sonic the hedgehog, and

[chizuu-deactivated20200817]

thanks for 10k notes, i just wanted you all to know that my cousin, sonic the hedgehog, is doing well. i told him about this post and he high-fived me

[his-quietus-make]

Shakespeare plays as Onion headlines

Hamlet: 

Twelfth Night:

Macbeth:

Julius Caesar:

Titus Andronicus: 

Henry IV Part 1:

Two Gentlemen of Verona:

Measure for Measure:

Coriolanus:

Othello:

The Tempest:

The Winter’s Tale: