Every single individual with an ed is different. Someone could have the same ed yet be different at the same time. Some people purge, others don't. Some over eat - others don't. Some over exercise - some don't or even can't. Some have a lot more energy - others have none. Some count calories - others don't. Some have low calorie safe foods - others have high calorie ones. Eating disorders to people who don't have one look like they make no sense. They don't get it and don't take it seriously. A simple "just eat" or "stop for me" won't cut it. Could even make the situation worse. Some people can be scared of fruits yet feel safe eating ice cream. And you can't judge them for it.
If your loved one is struggling don't be invalidating. LISTEN to their issues. Comfort them. You can't force someone to recover if someone doesn't want to. You could slowly encourage reasons to recover, but don't force it on them. But also don't "congratulate" someone for their harmful behaviors. Don't comment on what they eat or how much. What firstly needs to be known is the cause for the ed, and start with that. Eating disorders stem from other issues like past trauma, unrealistic beauty standards, not knowing how to cope with their other mental health problems like ocd/bpd/depression/anxiety, their life being out of control etc.
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