Gael @ella-yo-el - Tumblr Blog

There are always so many things to do and so little time in which to do them. When the time I have available is significantly less than the time it will realistically take me to complete all of my tasks, I start to feel stress.

Stress arises both as a kind of worry and as a kind of tension. The worry is that I won't be able to do everything I need to do and there will be some unwanted consequence, while the tension follows from the judgment that I can only get everything done through strict and unrelenting discipline.

These feelings are forms of suffering that I'm experiencing. Like all suffering, they actively undermine my ability to do what I must. Instead of focusing on the tasks I need to complete, I'll be distracted by the worry and limited in the range of my actions by the tension.

anak1n

no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?

oldwinesoul

// Albert Camus, from a letter to Maria Casares featured in Correspondance, 1944-1959

suliqyre

She understands that to get better she has to allow herself to move on. There is no other way. She can't live forever in the trauma of her past. She has to build a new life for herself. She can't afford to go on caring about what was done or even who it was done to. That person is not her anymore. That person is also in the past.

Every day she tells herself to let go of the idea that the past matters. She is letting go of caring about the past. She is letting go of caring itself. She has been actively reminding herself of these things. She is discovering slowly that she is becoming more capable. Her methods are working. She no longer feels as much pain, and that must mean she's healing.

Free of pain, she is able to do more. She can go to work and earn money and live well. What does it mean to live well? She thinks it means being able to survive on her own. It means not having to rely on others. It means especially not having to rely on anyone who could hurt her.

suliqyre

I have a body in the form of a human animal. I have desires, aversions, and beliefs that arise from reflecting on myself and the world and making judgments about them. I have language and reason, which I can use to communicate and make inferences. I have memories of past experiences and imaginings of possible future experiences. I have connections to other people — parents, ancestors, friends, and lovers. I have a story of myself that is all of these things put together into a single narrative.

But none of these things that I possess is me. Not even their combination is me. I am the entity that experiences, the subject that perceives and feels and thinks. While it is true that my ability to do these things depends on my body being alive, even my body is not me.

suliqyre

The growth of awareness can be painful to experience. We often have to look at things we'd rather not look at, the very things that cause us the most anguish and distress.

We have to look at these things because they are part of ourselves and our world, and it is our attention to both self and world that allows our awareness to grow. We have to look at them because we cannot choose what exists, and it is our openness to everything that allows our awareness to grow. We have to look at them because avoiding them would be to lie to ourselves about our reality, and it is our honesty that allows our awareness to grow.

So we look and we sometimes feel pain from this very simple act. A consequence is that we can silently develop an aversion to looking because we do not want to feel even more pain. We might believe we lack the energy necessary to take in that part of the world, so we deny ourselves the empathy that would push us to towards those actions we do not feel capable of taking.

furuba

oncce-againn

Oh! The intimacy of adopting each other’s vocabulary.

swagg1ttarius

divine intervention where my guardian angel just beats the shit outta me

oldwinesoul

// Albert Camus, from a letter to Maria Casares featured in Correspondance, 1944-1959

wetheurban

It’s time to get clear about who you are. It’s time to get clear about what you want. It’s time to get clear about what you need. It’s time to get clear about what you value. It’s time to get clear about what you deserve.

museify

perfectfeelings

“The saddest truth is realising you have fallen madly in love with what can never be.”

— Michael Faudet

heavensghost

I love with my teeth

junglejim4322

Why did 4 months of this year go by in like a week

puppygirllaika

at some point in your life you are going to do or say something racist, sexist, or otherwise bigoted. Your goal is not perfection, your goal is to be the kind of person that the people you've hurt feel safe being honest with when that happens.

thoughtkick

“She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was.”

— j. iron word

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