have courage and be kind

Hello! My name is Elliot Sinclair. Some say I'm a bit of a dreamer, but I don't let difficult times get me down. And I live by the motto my father lived by: have courage and be kind.

[avcryx-blog-blog]

I feel excited, but I don’t know why. 

[avcryx-blog-blog]

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

Well, excitement is good.

[hopexh-deactivated20150712]

Hope hugged him back “ I don’t know what I would do without you too, I don’t even remember what I was doing before you came….Everything didn’t make sense until you came. I’m not going anywhere Elliot, unless you ask me to do so and don’t say that I don’t know that because I do “ she takes a breath “ I tried to leave this world once but I didn’t and I think that was the worlds way to say that I should wait because something great was going to happen to me and I should stay alive for as long as I can “ she looked at him and smiled sweetly “ You are that great thing Elliot and I’m planning to be alive for as long as I can and I have a feeling it will be for a long time because you keep me alive “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

Elliot pulled back and looked at her and gently caressed her cheek, “ You did? ....Please don’t ever do anything like that again. This world has a tendency to take people away from us far too early... Please don’t take a single moment for granted! " He leaned in and kissed her lips, still afraid to let her go.

[hopexh-deactivated20150712]

Hope looked up to him as he spoke “ I really really like you too “ she responded feeling like she was going to cry “ But please if you ever feel scared or if it’s something then let me know and if I’m not myself please tell me because I don’t want to be so horrible to you “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

Elliot looked at her and nodded before pulling her close in a hug “ I just don’t know what I’d do without you. ...That’s how fast I’m falling. And everyone else I’ve ever loved has died... “

[hopexh-deactivated20150712]

“ I-I still feel sorry, I-I don’t like it when you’re feeling bad “ she looks down and plays with her fingers

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

[grabs her hand] I’m sorry I let my stupidity effect you. I really really like you and I was letting fear get to me.

[hopexh-deactivated20150712]

“ I’m s-sorry “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

[shakes his head] It’s not your fault. It’s mine. 

[hopexh-deactivated20150712]

“ O-okay…… uh, how uh how are you? “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

Honestly? ...Miserable. 

[hopexh-deactivated20150712]

“ I-I just got here…I-I c-can go if you w-want “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

NO! N-No.. I...I didn’t mean it like that. You...d-don’t go.

[hopexh-deactivated20150712]

“ H-He-y “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

I uh, d-didn’t know you were in here..

[hopexh-deactivated20150712]

…

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

Oh! ...H-Hi.

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

                                     elliot sinclair | beast inside

It’s a bit ironic that I sit here writing a journal about my fears when one of my fears just came true. I’m not “afraid” per say of Drew, but I suppose I’m still haunted by the life he reminds me of. I didn’t think I was. I thought I was past that. I thought that if I just had courage and remained kind that it would get me through and I wouldn’t have to worry about them anymore now that I’m not trapped there anymore. But now, I can’t stop hearing his voice in my head. 

                      “ You don’t deserve to have love in your life. ” 

                                             “ Everyone you love always dies. ” 

And now, Hope isn’t talking to me. What if he was right? Is it best to just let her go now so nothing bad happens to her? Am I just meant to be alone? I don't want to leave her. But now it seems selfish not to... 

[dontaewaters-blog]

[Dontae sat on the beach with face half wrapped up and his hair messed up a bit] Oh uh, hey!

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

[walking along out of it but sees Dontae] Hey... Are you okay? 

[noarya]

“ Nope, not yet “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

“ I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure you’ll end up there soon. “

[noarya]

“ So how is it like though, being in a room and all that shit? “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

“ It’s nice. ...Have you not been in a room yet? “

[noarya]

“ pffft, no one knows how to do relationships bro. I wouldn’t worry about it too much “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

“I guess so.”

[noarya]

“ What happened? “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

“I don’t know. I don’t think anything...happened. We didn’t fight or anything. Maybe it was just....inevitable. I don’t know how to do relationships, clearly. I guess I’m just not cut out for them.”

[noarya]

“ Thought so. What is bugging you? Trouble in paradise? “

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

“...Yeah. Literally, I guess. I don’t know. I’m sure it’s my fault.”

[noarya]

“ Yeah you’re the guy with the Hope girl right? “ she followed him fixing her bag.

[elliot--sinclair-blog]

“Um...yeah,” he said shyly.