Having a major reminisce...
Blimey, I barely seem to Tumbl anymore, guess I’ve just kinda lost touch with it. Plus I seem to spend more time on Twitter these days (@mattinexile; shameless plug!) So I shall now make up for that with an excessively long, and probably uninteresting to anyone except me entry.
So the time I have been dreading for the past 3 years is nearly upon us, and that is when pretty much every single friend I have made over the past 3 years at uni leaves. The fact that this is drawing so near combined with the fact that so many people are blogging, tweeting, statusing etc. reminiscing about it all has made me think long and hard about it all, and now I just want to put some of my feelings into words.
Sure, it’s true that I’ve been through this before with my first degree, but this is on a completely different level. Two thirds of my first uni saga was a complete waste of time socially if I’m being honest, so the third year was the only year that I really ‘grew’ as a person. But even after that, I left thinking that I didn’t make nearly enough of my time there, especially since I’ve always been a rather shy and awkward person and have always wanted to snap out of that. Wind forward a few months, and I make what legitimately think is the best decision I’ve ever made in my whole life; to return to do a Masters degree. The thought of it worried me at first, but I also relished the chance to start uni again with a completely clean slate, and hopefully allow myself to grow in the way I felt I missed previously.
I had a good start in that I already knew a handful for people sticking around, and a good friend of mine was to be a warden in halls, so I had ample opportunities to meet new people and make new friends. Right from the word go, I adopted the ‘fuck it’ attitude, threw all inhibitions to the wind, and just spoke to anyone and everyone, and it sure as hell paid off. Very quickly I built up close friendship group which, to be honest, felt more right than my previous uni group within only a few weeks of starting. Already I felt more progress being made in my personal development that I ever had previously. The biggest improvement came when I met Amber. We began dating within a week or so of meeting, and this gave me a personal confidence boost unlike anything I had ever experienced before. As you will know however, this ended after nearly a year, but not only did I gain a much better value of self-worth from it, but I also gained one of the best friends I have ever had, and someone who I know I shall be friends with for life (anyone who says ex’s can never ever be friends is actually mental in my mind). Since then, I admit my track record in the relationship department has been less than ideal, and sure this has greatly brought me down at times, but I have constantly been surrounded by amazing friends who have always been there for me, and that is just so heart-warming to me.
I could make many novels out of the memories I have shared with these people; memories I will cherish forever, memories I never want taken away from me. Obviously not all the memories are great; friendships have been lost, I’ve realised all too late just how much people I’ve known a long time really mean to me, missed golden opportunities for things, pushed people away by being a douche; but that’s just how life is I guess, it can’t always be awesome every step of the way. I am lucky in that the good memories faaaaar outweigh the bad!
Sooo yeah, just a VERY small collection of all the thoughts swimming through my head atm. ‘VERY SMALL??’ I hear you cry, as I’m sure this was probably too long for anyone to bother reading through anyway, but my head is awash with so many thoughts, memories, emotions etc., that to convert them all into writing would probably take me literally days. This has all been a jumble of random thoughts to be fair which don’t really seem to follow on from eachother, but I cba to go through it and make it any more coherent. The bottom line is, the past 3 years have been the best of my whole life by a long long way, and it has gone way too quickly for liking. I can fully see myself turning into a blubbering wreck when people start leaving, but that’s only coz I’m a hugely sentimental person who holds peoples’ friendships in insanely high regard. But despite how much it’s gonna be shit when it happens, I will never regret a single moment of it for even a second for the rest of my life.
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
areudirty
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
discoholicmusic
