We All Loved Him |Part 2|
jegulus, sirius, and pandora angst angst angst
Sometime between her apparating here to now, she’d started bleeding. She watched as the blood slowly flowed down to her forearm, breath hitching as she noticed the weaved bracelet on her wrist.
“A present?” A twelve year old Pandora gazed curiously at the braided bracelet, studying the intricate pattern.
“A friendship bracelet. Look, I have one too,” he gestured to his wrist, where a single, solitary bracelet sat.
Pandora beamed. “Thanks, Reggie. I love it.”
“No,” he breathed out. She blinked and Sirius came back into sight, his horrified face staring at her desperately, begging-
“Sirius? What’s going on - Pandora?!”
James’ shocked face greeted her vision, and she saw red.
It happened in less than a second.
He’s dead he’s dead he’s dead.
She practically flew towards him, fingers clasping around his shoulders and desperately shaking him.
“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT-YOUR FAULT! IF YOU’D NEVER BROKEN UP WITH HIM - PROPOSED TO LILY - THEN MAYBE HE WOULD’VE NEVER ENDED UP LIKE THIS!”
She didn’t know what she was doing anymore. All she could focus on was James’ shoulders beneath her hands, that maybe if she shook him hard enough, maybe Regulus would miraculously appear, alive and healthy, maybe-
Sirius stared at her, a haunted look in his eyes. “It wasn’t his fault,” he croaked out again.
He’s dead he’s dead he’s dead. It was practically ingrained into her mind now, her brain repeating it like a mantra.
“Not his fault? Not his fault? Then pray tell, WHO’S FAULT WAS IT?!”
Any shred of dignity that she had when she came here was gone now. Her heart had been shattered since the moment he died, with no one to pick up the pieces. She didn’t want to. She wanted to feel the pain, feel it fester and burn and clash inside her, fill her up to the very brim until it exploded and poured out for all the world to see.
“My brother’s death had nothing to do wi-“
“HE’S NOT YOUR BROTHER! NOT YOURS! MINE! YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR HIM!” She staggered, finger pointed directly at the elder’s face.
“YOU WERE ALWAYS OUT GALLIVANTING WITH YOUR STUPID FRIENDS! WHEN GIVEN THE CHANCE, YOU HIGHTAILED OUT OF THE HOUSE - DID YOU EVER STOP AND THINK ABOUT HOW HURT REGULUS WOULD BE? I WAS THE ONE WHO HELD HIM WHENEVER YOU TURNED TO POTTER, LAUGHING AND CALLING HIM YOUR BROTHER-“ she hiccuped, continuing.
“But you know what was the funny thing? It’s that even after everything you put him through, he still loved you. He volunteered for every raid that you were rumored to be at, worried about you constantly - but you never cared, did you? In your eyes, he was exactly like Walburga and Orion.”
None of them deserved to be here. Not James, not Sirius, not Pandora herself. None of them deserved to stand on this earth while Regulus was lying on ocean floor, long gone and never coming back.
She faintly registered James falling back in the couch - the red couch - as her words finally made sense in his mind.
She was laughing. Since when had she started laughing?
“Who’s fault was it then?” The question slipped out from her mouth as a whisper, her broken gaze staring at both of them. Her form had slumped, all the anger gone. All that was left now was numbness, and somehow that hurt even more than the anger did because this was real.
This was real, and Regulus was dead.
It seemed that Sirius had also come to this realization, as he dropped onto the couch next to James and let out a horrible, dog-like whine.
“I loved him too, you know. We all did.”
James’ hazel eyes finally met hers, mirroring her pain and her anguish and holding such emptiness that she felt herself something inside her break and she crumpled, because finally, finally there was someone who understood how she felt.
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