Dipper’s Speech to Mabel (aka the monologue that made me cry five times)
Dipper: Mabel, listen. I might not have all the answers. I’m not stylish and I’m not cool and I can’t make pugs appear out of thin air. But I know one thing well – and that’s you. and I know even though you might act like it, you don’t wanna be in this fantasy world. You’re scared of growing up. And who could blame you, I’m scared too. Look, real life stinks sometimes okay, I’m not gonna lie. But there’s a better way to get through it than denial and that’s with help from people who care about you. That’s how we’ve gotten through our whole lives. Just look!
Dipper: “Mabel! I’ve found a way to fix your photo!”
Mabel: “What? You have a wig?”
Dipper: “No, but I have a razor!”
Dipper: /shaves line down head
Mabel: “Haha… you’re crazy!”
Mabel: /shaves identical line down head
Mabel: /slides Valentines under door to Dipper
Dipper: We’ve always been there for each other.
Dipper: Mabel, I thought you were living a fantasy, but look at me! I actually thought I was gonna stay here and be Ford’s apprentice. Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement in a lab coat? How ridiculous is that? I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future, but whatever it is, you don’t have to fear because we’ll do it together. I’m not taking Ford’s apprenticeship. We’ve traveled to heck and back to get you and we’re going back together. Leave this fantasy world. Let’s beat Bill and grow up together!
Mabel: You mean it? You’re really coming home with me?
Dipper: Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. Awkward sibling hug?
Mabel: Sincere sibling hug.