THERE'S A DWEEB IN MY APARTMENT

[Err0rbound Bro Strider roleplay blog! Err0rbound is a kidswap AU. Things are a lot nastier for the guardians; and Bro is taking care of John. See more on grisailletimbre's page. In Err0rbound, business is not as great for the Striders. As a result, they're very tight on money, as opposed to the alpha timeline. The families suffer a lot more. ]

[grisailletimbre-deactivated2013]

redmuseoftime liked your post: congratulations, tumblr. you have seriously

[grisailletimbre-deactivated2013]

do you mind?

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Looks like a cow got outta the paddock, huh?

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Kids, that's what you do when you suspect that somebody's stalked you all the way to your home with the intent to hurt you. Cops don't mind, it's their job. Better safe than sorry, yo.  Don't punch 'em up. Let the cops do it. That way, you won't be charged for any hospital bills.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

"... Yeah, cops? There's a 'gentleman' at my doorstep. Looks to have talked me all the way to my home. Sources close to him are tellin' me he's here for a fight."

"... Yeah, domestic disturbance sounds about right."

"... Nah, nothing's happened yet. Not gonna punch him up or anything, not in the mood for a fight. Don't want to get arrested for assault or some shit." "Thanks. See you soon."

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

*Suddenly, a knock on the door was heard.* Is this the Strider residence?

Bro's not an idiot. After concerned messages from Eddy, the man had no intentions of opening doors to strangers. Not a single noise is made, and not a single action is taken.As far as anybody else is concerned, the Striders aren't home. 

[semi-retired-scammaster-deactiv]

STRIDER! THANK GOODNESS! YOU GOTTA GET JOHN AND LEAVE THE APARTMENT! MY BRO’S COMING!

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

I was enjoying a beautiful moment of Unicode text sex. This had better be important, Waddles.

[semi-retired-scammaster-deactiv]

You didn’t listen! My bro is coming to your apartment! You have no idea what you’re getting into. Get John and leave the apartment now!

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Your family has a history of criminally stalking people they hardly know, don't they? What exactly is he gonna do?

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Twerps nowadays seem to think that they can come along 'round here and pick a fight. Doesn't work like that. Don't wanna get my ass incarcerated, but you sure as hell will. 

Sure, you can throw all the damn punches you want, but I'm gonna hold you back whilst I call the cops. Logic, yo. 

[semi-retired-scammaster-deactiv]

STRIDER! THANK GOODNESS! YOU GOTTA GET JOHN AND LEAVE THE APARTMENT! MY BRO’S COMING!

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

I was enjoying a beautiful moment of Unicode text sex. This had better be important, Waddles.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

In other news, I'm back. Big, messy week. So many drunkels, you would not even believe the drunkel count I've amassed here. Fucking incredible.

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Heart-to-Ed Talk.

I’m sorry, dude…

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What. What for?

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…You saw. I know sarcasm where I see it…

You know what? Nevermind. I’m gonna be stuck making stupid decisions for the rest of my life.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Kid, that's a truck full of pathetic horseshit and if you keep saying that, I'll kick your ass all the way to the goddamn Galapagos. Keep your chin up, soldier, or I'll be punching it up for you. Self respect.

[semi-retired-scammaster-deactiv]

Heart-to-Ed Talk.

I’m sorry, dude…

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

What. What for?

[askboxmemes]

Drop a ◊ in my inbox and I'll tell you my reaction if you were in my bed,waiting for me.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Would you take a kid in if they had nowhere else to go?

This is where a crucial line appears.

What I want to do =/= What I am capable of doing in current circumstances.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Mind your language! Somebody ought to teach you a lesson!

Be my guest. I dare you. Won't work. Consider me Miley Cyrus-tier. The level of taming you can achieve in relation to me is literally zero.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Hm. ‘Sir’. Y’know, I think ‘Bro’ will do just fine. Life treating you right, Papa E?

[harvestmanning]

Of course, Bro. Life is treating me just fine. And please, call me Simon. There’s only so many terrible nicknames a man can tolerate.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Alright, Simon. We'll see if you earn your anti-moniker mercy.

Glad to hear shit's coming along well, though.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Eddy, you're a fuckin' Casanova, I swear. With moves like that, I have no idea how that first chick said no.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Papa Smurf, fancy seeing you here. Yo.

[harvestmanning]

Hello to you too, good sir.

[emergencybrotocol-blog]

Hm. 'Sir'. Y'know, I think 'Bro' will do just fine. Life treating you right, Papa E?