Goodbye, and Thank You
I’d like to make this my final post to this blog. It started out in Birdy’s own perspective, and in my eyes was always his, I just ran it (though kind’ve took over in my own way). Quite likely I’ll still be lurking in the corners, I still like to see what the people I follow and their birds are up to, everything here will remain, I may even comment occasionally, but this blog will remain quiet.
Today I received his casket with his ashes. I held him, had a good cuddle, told him everything that’s been going on since he’s been gone, and really had to try to stop myself getting any tears on him. But it feels good to talk to him, and having him here feels like I can go on.
On our end we’ve been holding up... okay. Dealing with grief has been all over the place, at times I feel like I’m doing it wrong by not being upset enough, and then when it does seep through I hurt so much that my brain just... resets.
Tater’s been relatively okay. She’s quieter than usual (though still screaming because... it’s her). She’s been both demanding more attention than usual and also hiding away not wanting to be bothered. I have to take her with me if I leave the room or she’ll get upset.
As for what we’re doing next... well, that’s already in motion. Honestly, faster than I’d expected, and maybe a week or so faster than I’d have liked, but we’ve already found a cockatiel to adopt. My husband’s out right now going to pick him up. He’s a little over a year old, not tame but of course... I have experience with the best when it comes to uncooperative little shits. Raised in an aviary, seems he’s just not wanted anymore. Going to be a little rough I think adjusting them to cage life after an aviary, but with us cages are more of a sleeping thing anyway. It’s still going to be a while before they can really free fly around the house though. I do feel a bit guilty about that, but we’ve got a whole lot of love to give, and a cockatiel friend waiting on this end (they lived with budgies). Got a brand new cage, some old toys around and we’ll get whatever new we need to.
It’s... an end of an era for me. He’s been with me for over a third of my life, almost all of my adult life, and it’s thanks to him that I have... EVERYTHING that I have now. Without him, I’d never have gotten over my agoraphobia. I’d never have been able to take the steps to make a long distance relationship work into which is now marriage. I’d never have fixed my relationship with my mother. I struggled with a lot of things before I got him, and although my general health is lower than ever, my mental health is so markedly different that everyone can see it. He saved me.
Goodbye, you ridiculous pasta-obsessed nut. You’ve been my best friend for almost 12 years. I love you, and thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me.













