Abortion Stories Emma_Lives

(This is NOT a pro-life, pro-choice, anti-abortion or religious blog. This is a place to help women who are struggling with post abortion regret. This a place to support women and comfort them. This is a place to help these women feel better, no matter what their decision was, no matter how it affected them- good or bad) When I was 21 I had an abortion. I was young, unemployed, I didn't even have my driving license and felt there was no way I could raise a baby. My parents were going to kill me, my boyfriend had barely turned 18 and frankly I didn't even like kids. I was pro-choice anyway, so I figured I'd "take care of it." I did. And to my surprise it affected me more than I thought it would. In fact I was over come with guilt and sadness and began to grieve immediately for the loss if my child. I didn't think I could love someone so much whom I never met. I struggled two years and counting to find peace and come to terms with what I did. In my heart I really believed I was doing the right thing. Even though I researched both sides of abortion and though many women said they regretted their decision, I didn't think I'd be another statistic. I was ten weeks. I don't even know if it was a boy or a girl, but my boyfriend and I named her Emma Alison. We have a baby now, but we still think of Emma. This blog is dedicated to her and I hope it's a place where women who have had an abortion they regretted can find comfort and peace. I hope it's a place where women looking for advice on the topic of abortion can find from other women, pro choice or pro life, guidance. It's a big decision, and only you can make it, it's true. But for every action there are consequences, some we never thought we'd come across. God bless you and your decisions. Neutral site that helps with post abortion coping= http://afterabortion.com

[emma-lives]

So that GLOW episode 8

I'm aware I'm late on this but in case for the girls who haven't seen it, you should know there is an abortion seen. I just wanted to share because I wish someone would have told me. I'm good and strong and tough but i still struggle with a few stuff. This is not me talking down on the scene or anything. Just friendly warning before you dive into :)

[sheisrecovering]

You’re stronger than you know.🌟

[happyfemale]

[alanastazja]

[emma-lives]

This is very well said. It's ok to give in to what you feel. It's ok to grieve and regret. It's part of the process to coping and finding peace.

[emma-lives]

For those struggling with regret

It’s going to be ok. You’re going to feel better one day. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but give yourself time and stay strong. You’ll get there. Maybe you won’t be the same person as before, but you’ll definitely be a better version of you. You’ll be stronger and courageous. If you’re wondering, God forgives you. If you’re wondering, your baby forgives you. The real question is, can YOU forgive yourself? You are your worst enemy. No one else will hate you or look down on you as you look down on yourself when you are angry or feel guilt. Whatever your reasons were, they were valid ones. Even if you regret your decisions, they were valid reasons. Maybe you were scared. Maybe you were unprepared. No one should blame you for acting the way you did. It’s not your fault. You deserve to be happy again. If you are in good terms with your decision, stay strong. Don’t let anyone shatter your spirits. This is YOUR life. It’s YOUR journey. Who is making you hate it? Take back control! :)

[emma-lives]

Mother's day

I know for some girls this day is a rough one. You start thinking about all the what if's and every time you see someone celebrating or see a kid hug their mom the emptiness in your heart seems more vast. But it can also be a nice holiday for you too. You've spend so much energy and effort already fighting yourself, your thoughts and trying to sort out exactly how you feel on a daily basis about the whole thing. If you want to celebrate, somewhere in the silence of your heart, as a way to comfort any maternal feelings your experience left, it's ok. You're allowed to. If you want to ignore the holiday all together, it's ok. You're allowed to. Always look out for yourself first. Always take care of you first. Stay strong. Be brave. Never give in to sadness. There are so many things to be happy about.

[emma-lives]

There isn’t enough for us

I came across a blog that very passionately points out that there isn’t enough people, books, blogs, experiences, etc shared about what we are going through and only a handful who can even help us with the grieving and healing process. When it comes to the topic of abortion it’s always divided into political stances. Or worse, in my opinion, its divided between religions hateful comments and seldom words of redemption. I don’t think there is enough focus on US, only our actions. No one seems to care about how we are, how we are affected. Not all experiences are the same. Not everyone feels like us, and its great! They have their own support system. Where is ours? I don’t have all the answers, but you can always count on me to listen to you. I made my peace. I feel I’ve finally healed. I’m not saying what worked for me will work for you. I’m just saying we can figure it out. Don’t give up. Don’t be discouraged. Our community might be small but we have each other. Who else can understand the pain and the desperate need for peace than us? We are a family =)

[emma-lives]

You matter so much

I’m not a very good blogger. I’m not very tech savvy. I respond late sometimes. I don’t always get notifications for one reason or another. Sometimes I don’t even know what to say to you guys. But don’t give up on me. I won’t ever give up on you or abandon you. You guys really keep me up at night when I can’t reach you or when I don’t hear from you. I just want to know that you are ok. I’m going to be better. I’m going to learn everything there is so that I don’t miss any messages from you all. You guys matter so much to me. I will make this up to you all.

[emma-lives]

It'll be a year since my abortion on Sunday. I watch a baby (who would be a year older than mine) and sometimes it's hard but it gives me enough time with a baby to still be happy I don't have my own. I didn't know I was pregnant until 17 weeks and that's also when I found out I have RH- blood, my bf and I couldn't have a child and made the right choice. I am scared (despite being on the implant bc) that I will get pregnant soon again. I would feel guilty having this one and not the other.

Dear Anonymous,

Those are difficult emotions to sort out.. Listen, your decision was well thought out. It wasn’t an easy one but you thought long and hard and I don’t doubt struggled and agonized trying to reach a decision and then going through with it. It must have meant a lot for you to not only make a decision that put your best interest but your little one. Even if you were to have regret it, I think in your heart you know that you were the only who could have made the best choice. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Look at what you’ve proven: that you are a responsible and caring person, especially when it came to deciding two futures. It’s not wrong to feel guilty or regret. Those are things that, no matter how convinced we are that we did the right thing, creep in from time to time. You’re going to have good days and bad days. It’s ok. Because the bad days end too. And your life picks right back up and you keep moving forward with your goals and dreams and plans. Your situation is different now than it was before. Leave the past where it should be, behind you. You don’t have to erase anything from your memory but don’t bring it with you. If you were to get pregnant you are going to asses the situation as things are NOW. I just don’t see you punishing yourself just because things were different back then whether your financial situation was inadequate for a child, maturity level, emotional stability, relationship status, whatever it was. That was the situation then that drove you to go through with great courage to make that decision. You might feel guilty at first and that’s ok. But I really believe you will realize that no matter how much you would want to change things it’s only because things are better NOW. If you feel guilty it’s only because you see how things are better RIGHT NOW and you can truly choose to keep your little one. I think a good way to look at it would be to feel grateful that you can choose to keep a baby than to lament not having the same opportunity back then. Because it means that things are getting better :) you have more control of your life and circumstance that even allow you to make these choices! Rejoice if that is what happens! You can finally give this little one the chance you couldn’t give the other. And it’s not your fault that you couldn’t give the other little one the same opportunity. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. Sometimes we really don’t have the control to our circumstance that allow us the luxury to see pregnancies full term… And that’s why we always do our best to make decisions that will benefit two futures. Hope you find peace and acceptance of whatever life brings you :)

[emma-lives]

It'll be a year since my abortion on Sunday. I watch a baby (who would be a year older than mine) and sometimes it's hard but it gives me enough time with a baby to still be happy I don't have my own. I didn't know I was pregnant until 17 weeks and that's also when I found out I have RH- blood, my bf and I couldn't have a child and made the right choice. I am scared (despite being on the implant bc) that I will get pregnant soon again. I would feel guilty having this one and not the other.

Dear Anonymous,

Those are difficult emotions to sort out.. Listen, your decision was well thought out. It wasn’t an easy one but you thought long and hard and I don’t doubt struggled and agonized trying to reach a decision and then going through with it. It must have meant a lot for you to not only make a decision that put your best interest but your little one. Even if you were to have regret it, I think in your heart you know that you were the only who could have made the best choice. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Look at what you’ve proven: that you are a responsible and caring person, especially when it came to deciding two futures. It’s not wrong to feel guilty or regret. Those are things that, no matter how convinced we are that we did the right thing, creep in from time to time. You’re going to have good days and bad days. It’s ok. Because the bad days end too. And your life picks right back up and you keep moving forward with your goals and dreams and plans. Your situation is different now than it was before. Leave the past where it should be, behind you. You don’t have to erase anything from your memory but don’t bring it with you. If you were to get pregnant you are going to asses the situation as things are NOW. I just don’t see you punishing yourself just because things were different back then whether your financial situation was inadequate for a child, maturity level, emotional stability, relationship status, whatever it was. That was the situation then that drove you to go through with great courage to make that decision. You might feel guilty at first and that’s ok. But I really believe you will realize that no matter how much you would want to change things it’s only because things are better NOW. If you feel guilty it’s only because you see how things are better RIGHT NOW and you can truly choose to keep your little one. I think a good way to look at it would be to feel grateful that you can choose to keep a baby than to lament not having the same opportunity back then. Because it means that things are getting better :) you have more control of your life and circumstance that even allow you to make these choices! Rejoice if that is what happens! You can finally give this little one the chance you couldn’t give the other. And it’s not your fault that you couldn’t give the other little one the same opportunity. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. Sometimes we really don’t have the control to our circumstance that allow us the luxury to see pregnancies full term… And that’s why we always do our best to make decisions that will benefit two futures. Hope you find peace and acceptance of whatever life brings you :)

[emma-lives]

I went through an abortion this time last year, it will be one year tomorrow. For a long time I was in denial of any negative feelings because I went through it in secret mostly by myself and so I couldn't show any sign of weakness. Its all catching up with me now, and I am feeling maternal again - this time I'm in a better position but I feel I don't deserve to have a baby or if I do get pregnant the people who helped me through it will think it's too soon. Its all overwhelming me now.

I thought I had answered this but I guess not. I’m so sorry for the delay. You can always come off anon or kik me on emmalivesx and everything will remain confidential. 

I’m really sorry you are going through this. I know it’s really tough but I also know that you can conquer anything. Don’t ever forget that the decision you took was a very difficult one and very well though out. Your decision came from thinking about what would be best for your little one. Only you could have taken the best decision for them and for yourself. That is love. You are always deserving of love when you give love like that. Trust me, you are very deserving of being a mom when you feel you are ready. But make sure first if there were any negative feelings that were left behind by the experience that your soul detoxes of that poison first. Don’t be afraid to feel everything your heart has concealed for that year. It will hurt and some day it feels like you can’t go on, but when morning comes you’ll see that you’re a lot stronger than you think. It just your heart desperately searching for peace or maybe forgiveness. Whatever the case is, you are worthy of it. You deserve it. And don’t worry too much about the people who helped you out. If they helped you out it’s because they love you and want you to be happy. While they may still mantain their own opinions of your personal life, in the end their love will always be stronger than any differences of opinions. And to be honest, someone will always have something to say, both negative and positive so my best advice is to always live they way you thin is best for you. It’s usually better to regret something you did than something you didn’t do. Best wishes! Good luck and stay strong! =)

[emma-lives]

I went through an abortion this time last year, it will be one year tomorrow. For a long time I was in denial of any negative feelings because I went through it in secret mostly by myself and so I couldn't show any sign of weakness. Its all catching up with me now, and I am feeling maternal again - this time I'm in a better position but I feel I don't deserve to have a baby or if I do get pregnant the people who helped me through it will think it's too soon. Its all overwhelming me now.

I thought I had answered this but I guess not. I’m so sorry for the delay. You can always come off anon or kik me on emmalivesx and everything will remain confidential. 

I’m really sorry you are going through this. I know it’s really tough but I also know that you can conquer anything. Don’t ever forget that the decision you took was a very difficult one and very well though out. Your decision came from thinking about what would be best for your little one. Only you could have taken the best decision for them and for yourself. That is love. You are always deserving of love when you give love like that. Trust me, you are very deserving of being a mom when you feel you are ready. But make sure first if there were any negative feelings that were left behind by the experience that your soul detoxes of that poison first. Don’t be afraid to feel everything your heart has concealed for that year. It will hurt and some day it feels like you can’t go on, but when morning comes you’ll see that you’re a lot stronger than you think. It just your heart desperately searching for peace or maybe forgiveness. Whatever the case is, you are worthy of it. You deserve it. And don’t worry too much about the people who helped you out. If they helped you out it’s because they love you and want you to be happy. While they may still mantain their own opinions of your personal life, in the end their love will always be stronger than any differences of opinions. And to be honest, someone will always have something to say, both negative and positive so my best advice is to always live they way you thin is best for you. It’s usually better to regret something you did than something you didn’t do. Best wishes! Good luck and stay strong! =)

[emma-lives]

Peace

Peace be with you. Inner peace. The kind that releases the breath you keep holding on to every time you think about It. The kind that soothes your soul every time you desperately try to grasp time and want to go back and change everything. The type of peace that wipes away your tears late at night when it seems you won’t make it to the morning. May peace be with you, the kind that accepts everything that has happened and still lets you feel so damn happy you’re alive every morning. Let your soul detox of all the poison it has absorbed since then. 

Don’t be afraid to feel.

Don’t be afraid to let go.

[beautifulsabr]

The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.

Yasmin Mogahed  (via suspend)

hi

(via quiet)

emma-lives

(via dwarriorprincess)

[wordsnquotes]

Scars. A sign that you had been hurt. A sign that you had healed.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (via wnq-writers) emma-lives (via dwarriorprincess)

[emma-lives]

I don't know the source to this but it describes the loss of a baby or child. The difficult part is always the parents staying behind to grieve while the little one rejoices and is being taken care of until they meet again.

[wordsnquotes]

Scars. A sign that you had been hurt. A sign that you had healed.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (via wnq-writers) emma-lives (via dwarriorprincess)