.
What he only feels are the turmoil of sadness, guilt, and betrayal inside him. These feelings are what weighs heavily on his chest and he had cried so much that no more tears made its way out of his eyes; it's like he has evolved to be numbed to the effects. He feels like an empty husk of his former self.ย
It's all my fault. He says to himself.ย
He felt like he was the one to blame in putting such a relationship to waste. The 10 years of memories and hardships, gone. Their marriage, forgotten. If only he had changed sooner.
But he couldn't figure out why. He did give her everythingโ a roof over her head,ย his undying love, and a lavish lifestyle. What more could she want? All he wanted was for her to stay, but how could she betray him like this?
She promised him that she will stay by his side for all eternity and this was evidenced by her accepting the ring at the time of his proposal. He also promised to change his ways, and he did. But she still left.ย
It has been a week since she abandoned him and the memory continues to play on his head like a broken record.ย
"I want to break up."
"What...?"
"I said I want to break up, Kyungsoo. I can't handle this anymore!"
"Jagi," Kyungsoo he says to her. He attempts to grab her hands in which she immediately swats away. ย "Is there something I did again? surely we can sort this outโ"
" I don't think I would want to sort this out again, Soo."
"And why is that?" He questions.
"I want to END this..." Y/N answers.
He couldn't believe what she was saying.
Is she really trying to do this now?ย He thought.ย
"End... " He repeats, inquisitively. "A-are you serious?"
Y/N, in response, just lowers her head and diverts her gaze on the floor. She's not the type to joke around on these type of situations. Her silence is enough to send him the sign that she is indeed serious on what she's saying.
Anger is slowly building up to him. He can't fathom her intentions on abandoning a long term relationship and the marriage that is drawing near.
"END?!" He shouts. "What is this bullshit, Y/N?! You want to END all we've been through?" He then plunges his fist into the wall, leaving light cracks on its surface.ย He's slowly loosing himself and is beginning to give in to the intensity of his emotions.
Y/N flinches from the noise. His manner of speaking is starting to frighten her, but she promised herself that she won't back down. Even in the midst of fear, she forced open her mouth.
"I-I don't care anymore, Soo! I don't want the marriage, and I...Iโ!!!"
"YOU what Y/N?!" He threatens. "You don't wanna be with me anymore?"
"Yes, Soo. And this is notโ"
"Oh please!" He interjects, kicking the furniture next to him. "This again?! Oh come on Y/N, you're really breaking it off when IT'S 6 MONTHS BEFORE OUR WEDDING?!"
He's doing it again. Instead of reasoning out, he reverts to guilt-tripping. It's all because he's blinded by the emerging feelings inside of him and the rising fear of her leaving. He can't stop, he doesn't know how to and this is the only thing he knows on how to respond to these kind of situations. Deep inside, he wants her to take back all what she's saying. Anger is his weapon, but this time it wont affect her as much.
"FUCKING YES, I AM!!!" She finally snaps, angered by his reaction and childish choice of actions.Now, she's using the same tricks as his.
"Why? 'Cause you don't love me anymore? You don't LOVE me, who gave you everything for the past 10 fuckin' years?!"
Yes, keep going. Tell her everything you did and throw it in her face, she is nothing without you. Let's see if she still has the guts to leave...
"You reallyย want me to answer that, Soo?" Y/N challenges him. "FINE!"
Kyungsoo's eyes widens, fearing the possibilities of what she might say.
"Soo, I can't love you anymore, you kept on HITTING me. And for the past 10 god-forsaken years, you still haven't learned to control your goddamn jealousy! I've endured all of this, because I LOVED you! But now I just can't take this anymore!"
It's true. All of this is true. But he just simply cannot control himself, and again, he doesn't know how. And he just loves her too much to the point that he must do things in order to make her stay, even if it means thatย she will answer to his hands.ย
But he changed didn't he? He even got some help like she always asked him to do. Was that not enough for her?
"B-But I've changed Y/N!" He says, with tears starting to form around his eyes. "Tell me... When's the last time? It was like, months ago remember?"
She remained quiet again, this time staring at him with mixture of sadness and contempt in her expression.
"...Remember?"
"Soo..." She says. "After the last time, my love for you started to fade away..."
It puzzles him even more. What does she mean it started to fade away?ย Was he living with the mirage of her loving him all this time?
"What?" He says. This is now his breaking point."What do you mean...?"ย
"I don't love you as much anymore." She bluntly replies. "I thought I would love you again after you proposed. But I did not, especially the time you did it again..."ย
Reminiscing those painful memories brought tears to Y/N as well. She can remember the pain of his broken promise that he will change for the better. The pain of his fists landing to her body and his insults towards her left a mark that she definitely won't forget.ย
Then it hit him. The words that came from Y/N became a knife that pierced through his chest that sliced and cut his heart into a million pieces.ย He felt his body go numb as his tears made its way out if his eyes, trailing down his face. This can't be true โ she couldn't possibly mean what she says, right? They have fought like this before and still managed to be together. Surely this will all pass and she will come back again.
Or so he thought.
"Y/N, y-you can't possibly m-mean that, r-right?" Kyungsoo pleads in between his sobs. "Please t-tell me you don't mean that!"
"I meant what I said." Y/N hisses out.
She rolls of the sleeves of her blouse, revealing her arms filled scars and cutsย that came from Kyungsoo's beating.ย
"All of this was from you, Soo! And I think this is ย alone is enough for me to end this."
She covers her arms again and fixes the sleeves of her blouse. She takes an item from her purse, and brings it in front of Kyungsoo's face. The item was their engagement ring. It's silver luster and reflectious diamond stone mimic the light of the sunset rays coming from the window.
"We're through." She says, then she proceeds to throw the ring across the room.ย
The ring bounces off of the opposite wall and falls in the red, mahogany floors of Kyungsoo's house. It's impact on the floor emits a sharp tinging sound. He didn't attempt to look at where the ring has landed off to for he was still frozen of the events happening before him.ย She then takes one last glance at Kyungsoo, with the sharpest gaze she could muster.
"This talk is done, goodbye Doh Kyungsoo. Don't contact me ever again."
Y/N turns around and walks towards the door, but before she can reach the handle, Kyungsoo reaches to her, wrapping his arms on her waist with his face resting on her shoulder. She could feel his tears dampening her shirt.
Why is she feeling bad?
"Please," He says, sobbing. "P-please don't leave me! I will make things right, I'm sorry! I know I can't control myself sometimes but I swear I'll work on myself! Just don'tโ"
Y/N sees the hysteric state the he's in. She is starting to feel guilty about what she is currently doing, but it has been decided that she would leave their toxic relationship. What is the essence of lavish living if she would just constantly live under his fists everyday? It's time that she should think about her own wellbeing rather than their both.
She tries pry off his hold to her, but he won't budge. He is stronger than he looks.ย
"Kyungsoo please..." She pleads as she squirms in his arms. "It's going to be the same again! Just let me go."
He then lets go of her. It became clear to him that she no longer wants to do anything with him. He watches her make her way outside his house as she slams the door in front of him.
Y/N is his whole world, and always will be. She was his savior from his own darkness, but the down side to that is, in certain times she takes all of it. The outcome of this is their frequent fights, leaves Y/N as always the loser, evidenced by the painful marks left on her skin. He did gave her everything, as he said.
But...She still chose to leave
Going back to reality, he stares at the object sitting at his sink. He's been contemplating of doing it, since he lost everything the day he lost her. However, he sets this plan aside for the moment, because he is yet to bring her back to him. He'll even beg in his knees if he has to.
-----ย
SM Telecoms is the company that Y/N works for. On the foot of the building is a cafรฉ, where he and Y/N would usually meet. This is where he often picks her upโ he even knows her favorites from their menu. ย
The cafรฉ's exterior was made up of windows huge enough to see it inside,ย which is usually filled with customers from or outside the company. This is Y/N's hang out place after her work hours.
Kyungsoo's car was parked parallel to the cafรฉ, granting him a clear view of the place, even when he's on the other side of the road. He patiently anticipates the time she goes to the cafรฉ. After a few hours of waiting, he spots her on the building's lobby, with her peers around her, seemingly chatting about some stuff he doesn't care about. She looks so normal, as if nothing has happened to her. He makes his way outside his car and crosses the road to meet her, which in turn just ends up him standing outside the building's entrance. There he can see her better, as she and her friends enter the cafรฉ on the entrance on the building's lobby.ย
He decides to observe them some more before barging in. Two of her female friends went to get their orders while she and a particular male friendย sits on a spot together. ย They are sitting in the same side and appears to be chatting. Y/N seems to be enjoying it as she laughs along with him.ย
She doesn't laugh like that around me... He thought.
He took one step towards the entrance, then stopped again to take another glance at her. She looks so happy with them. This made him hesitant to continue on his intentions because he also thought that it would do nothing.
It's pointless coming in here... I should just leave her alone. That's what she wants.
It might be his excessive jealousy, but seeing her with another guy sent an overbearing amount of anger and hurt in his nerves. He can't continue on his plan anymore, for it appears that she had found someone else to lean on, therefore there is no point of him pursuing her. He confirmed itโ she doesn't love him. He went back to his car, and drove away with such speed.
The car ride back to his house was absolute hell -- he drove carrying the feeling of heartbreak and loneliness with small tears clouding his vision. He almost got caught for over speeding and even thought of crashing it to the traffic in front of him.
He blames himself, yet he's pins all of this at her. He loves her, yet he loathes her.ย
Days have passed, but he still feels the same. He even sent her hundreds of messages and missed calls, to which she didn't even bother to answer. His mind is slowly succumbing into madness. He abandoned everything โ his family, his work, and his life is coming next. His family and coworkers are wondering where he is, because he's not even responding to their messages. He's closed himself off to everyone.ย
He thinks that there is no more point in living, especially if she's not in there. The one who gave him purpose has thrown him away. Everything reminds him of her, and it's driving him insane. He wants her so bad but he can't have her anymore.ย All of his irrational thinking is clouding the clarity of his judgements and its spiraling him out of control. Drowning within the emotion of anger, sadness, and betrayal, he grabs the object that has been waiting for him for so long.ย
His handgun.
He begins loading it, and switches it off to safety. ย He takes one final breath, and then proceeds to point it on his head. The indexย finger of the hand that holds the gun brushes on its trigger, and in a split second.
He fires.
He brought his insanity in his grave.
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Local Man commits suicide โ Cause unknown; no letter found.
Calling...
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Love is like wine as many would say; the longer it gets, the sweeter it tastes. But in the case of Y/n and Kyungsoo's relationship, the 'wine' in their 10 year relationship has grown moldy that it leaves a very strong, unpleasant taste. This only signifies that the love that binds them together has not been nurtured well, therefore creating a very sickening and pungent flavor. A flavor that only Y/N tastes between the two of them.ย
In the beginning, she thought that he was the one. Others would say that she is lucky in having him in her lifeโ very hardworking, mature, and has a future planned ahead of him. Y/N, on the other hand, compliments him. She is known to be steadfast yet loving and soft; a kind that every man needs. If one were to only view the tip of the iceberg, their relationship would be described as a "dream" relationship. ย But plunging further to its depths is where things goes in a much darker turn. Their relationship became toxic as sheย began to feel trapped under his spell. It's very suffocating, knowing that someone is slowly gaining control of your life.ย
For her sake, she decided to end it all.
But where did it land her? Did she get any satisfaction from what she's done?ย
The sky is painted gray as countless of droplets plunge into the earth from the skies. It seems to mourn with them for the loss of their beloved Soo. People dressed in black has their tears mixed with rain as their wails adds to the sound of thunder that ravages the clouds. She stands in front of him, yet she couldn't take a look on where he's at. She's at pain too, and its because of the mixture of sorrow and guilt that she feels.
She does cherish a handful of good memories with him, andย she did love him nonethless. But she never expected that he would go like this. She also knows herself that she has something to do with this
"Y/N," his mother calls to her. "I think this belongs to you. We found this at his house... I think you'll need this."
In his mother's hand was a shiny, silver ring decorated with a big diamond gem โ their engagement ring. It still shines despite the gloomy weather.ย
She doesn't know why, but something's compelling her to not take the ring. It radiates a certain negative force, causing her fear that screams in the back of her psyche. She's afraid of the item, because it reminds her of him. Noticing that Y/N was not taking the ring, she grabs her left hand and proceeds to insert the ring on Y/N's ring finger.
"Please don't loose this," she says to her. "This is the only thing that binds you to him..."
They say that emotions get left behind on certain places or items. An example of this is the feeling of happiness, or nostalgia, upon seeing an item or a place that has made a special connection to you. This is also like looking at a photo, wherein as you look into the pictured world presented before you, you either feel the sensation of joy, longing, sadness, or any emotion you think attributed to the picture.ย
This is the case for the ring he left for her. The memory of betrayal and anger has marked the object, thus Y/N sees this as something dreadful. These certain emotions harnesses energy emitted by the mind, thus attracts certain entities or beings beyond human comprehension. However, If these emotions are strong and lingered long enough, the entity it attracted will find it difficult to leave, because it has already made a strong connection to the emotions. Whatย she thought she has left can never and WILL NEVER leave her at this point.
The ring was still in her hand as she made her way back into her own home. Night came and enveloped her room in moderate darkness, with the moonlight shining on her. Her eyes can barely figure anything in the dark, yet it is still open. The longer she sees the ring, the more powerful the guilt grows inside of her, eating away what's left of her sanity. She is alone in her current house with no housemates or relatives to keep her company. ย
She closes her eyes, yet she can still see his tear-stained face, begging for her. Finally, she delves into sleep ย but unbeknownst her, a pair of watchful eyes observe her in the darkness. It feeds off her strong emotions that is caused by the memories that haunts the ring.
He promised to take her back, and he will. Even if he's in the afterlife.ย
