The Clumsy Ninja

Yu-Gi-Oh, more like "you gay, yo." all pronouns, I have overtaken the concept of gender. 18+ content, watch out, youths. it's a place where I write dumb shit about anime. cool and good.

[emotionalsupportweapon]

Soukouku nail art for my wedding on Friday, by the only nail artist who actually exists, Sierra Murphy at Finger Bang PDX in Portland, OR.

I am marrying my Chuuya.

[kaiba-cave]

“I’ve lost him forever.”

[emotionalsupportweapon]

Them: it's a cartoon about card games, how emotional can it be

Me:

[emotionalsupportweapon]

Yu-Gi-Oh nail art on me, by Sierra Murphy at Finger Bang PDX. All hand-painted, no decals.

You have not truly lived until you have watched someone angrily declare "I hate this, I hate my life" while painting the Millennium Puzzle onto your fingernail with a paintbrush that looks like an eyelash. (Note that painting these designs was HER idea.)

[jodielandons]

NOAH LYLES pulls out the Blue-Eyes White Dragon and Exodia the Forbidden One Yu-Gi-Oh! cards before winning all of his 100m races at the 2024 Olympic trials

[emotionalsupportweapon]

I used to think that I was Kaiba's side piece, but I was wrong. It's Noah Lyles.

[emotionalsupportweapon]

Fullmetal Alchemist nails by Sierra at Finger Bang PDX. All hand painted, no decals, as always.

"GIVE HIM BACK, HE'S MY ONLY BROTHER."

I am so delighted to have a nail artist to whom I can say "do what you want" and get art like this. My body being a canvas for such incredibly talented artists is such a privilege.

And the fact that she listens to me infodump about my latest anime obsession the whole time is a bonus.

[emotionalsupportweapon]

um excuse me they're not "eye bags" they're a second set of eyes that opens when I get possessed by the terrifying and extremely hot king of curses who lives inside my body

[emotionalsupportweapon]

Ryoumen Sukuna nail art (on me) by Sierra at Finger Bang PDX. Hand-painted designs, no decals.

AKA "I had to text my artist multiple pictures of a shirtless cartoon man in order to get these nails, and they were totally worth it."

[emotionalsupportweapon]

If you've ever thought to yourself "I'd like to see Edgar Allen Poe with his whole ass out at the mall while his crush cosplays as a teddy bear and his pet raccoon looks on judgmentally" then boy oh boy do I ever have the anime for you

[emotionalsupportweapon]

Chuuya Nakahara nail art by Sierra at Finger Bang PDX in Portland, OR.

"You can't escape gravity."

[emotionalsupportweapon]

When you're at a con with the cosplay crew and spot a rival crew cosplaying the same show and y'all perform that vibe check from across the room to ascertain that your crew's Look is better than theirs

[emotionalsupportweapon]

Have you ever been so unassailably, uncontrollably, unhingedly rock hard for your rival that you show up for approximately 30 seconds in an OVA with no purpose other than to announce "fuck this guy in particular who wasn't actually involved in anything that just happened" and then walk away on the ceiling complaining that you wasted your time?

because Chuuya Nakahara has.

[emotionalsupportweapon]

Such joy I derive from explicit fanfics whose premise is "I had to fuck him in order to make him do his paperwork." Everyone goes home happy in these worlds. The man gets fucked, the paperwork gets done roughly on time. this is the one future both capitalism AND queerdom can agree upon.

[emotionalsupportweapon]

me and my gay friends about to go out and commit small town mischief at 8 PM on a Wednesday

[emotionalsupportweapon]

oh, to be young and carefree, vibing in the hot tub with an old man and my incorporeal agender alien boyfriend, stoked as hell, my hair not affected by the humidity in the slightest

[emotionalsupportweapon]

Proposed modifications to the Yu-Gi-Oh TCG, in order to make it more in keeping with the anime:

- there is a Hair Check at the door. If it's a normal human hair color and/or not standing at least 8" off of your head, it is recommended that you simply go home, as there's little to no chance you'll actually win this duel

- no more of the goofy "handshake" tradition. Instead, duels begin by standing ten feet away from your opponent and yelling "DUEL!!!" I do understand that this may affect the physical layout of some TCG tournaments; I also do not care

- speaking of standing: no sitting permitted. You stand in a bizarre wide-legged half-crouch for the full duration of the duel. Style points are awarded for bending your knees in improbable directions.

- Cards are not played, but rather, BRANDISHED. All your opponent should be able to see is your hand right up in their face. Also you must hold the card between two fingers in a way that no one in real life has ever held anything ever

- incantations are mandatory when summoning any monster above 1000 ATK. These incantations should, ideally, involve proclaiming the monster in question to be "[your] soul" or some variation thereupon. Try to hold the card over your head when you are doing this, as everyone knows that screaming while holding a trading card aloft is a deeply threatening thing to do that intimidates your opponent on a fundamental psychological level.

- if (when) you lose, you have two choices: crumple to your knees and fall forward (classic) or go full-on ass-out (Yuma Tsukumo mode)

- ambulance on standby to provide immediate medical support to the loser. Diagnosis: Played Card Games Too Hard

- every now and then, actually die. Don't worry about it, though - you'll be resurrected either for real or, if you're dressed flamboyantly enough, in fanfiction!

With this minor set of rule alterations, I have fixed the meta. You're welcome. Also, the banlist no longer exists because that's a bitch move. LET'S GO, RED DRAGON ARCHFIEND.

[kujakumai]

Never ever look at the "official" weights anime assigns characters but especially the women because they will try to claim to you with a straight face that no woman on the planet earth has ever weighed more than 94 pounds. The people who write these stats live in an alternate universe where women do not possess internal organs and all of their bones are hollow like birds.

[emotionalsupportweapon]

"Kids these days don't realize marriage is FOREVER." We can quickly fix this by abolishing the traditional definition of marriage in America and instead requiring that couples legally bind themselves to watching One Piece in its entirety.