Fucking Depressed (again)

Had to make an anonymous blog in attempt to deal with my bipolar shit. I just can’t stand the thought of people who know me knowing how I feel.

[elliehdedo-blog]

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

Wish I could smoke myself into a coma

[lifesaclimb-buttheviewisgreat]

Don’t say you need me when you leave and you leave again

[missingyouonly]

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

Is it strange to feel like most people are below me? Or of inferior intelligence?

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

Damn. How did they know? 😂 😢😔

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

3.24.18🥀

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

It turns out this is a lot harder to cope with than I thought it would be. We made our decision, we stuck with it. Now I can’t help but wonder “what if?”

I cry for you every day, for the life I stole away. I’m sorry. 😔

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

In case anyone is wondering, I’m not ok.

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

I cried for you today. I’m sorry it had to be this way.

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

I feel the loneliness creeping back up inside me.

It’s so dark and cold.

I hoped I’d never see this place again.

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

I’m sorry. 😔

[workingthroughmydisorder]

I hate myself today.

hurt

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

I just want to fucking die. Is that too much to ask for?

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

Chivalry died with my boyfriend. 😔

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

You can’t go on...thinking that’s nothing’s wrong.

[emotions-are-the-enemy]

Why is wanting attention and/or compliments from your boyfriend a bad thing? Like, is it that hard to show that you love me? I remember when we were still fresh and I was the most important thing in the world to you. Well here we are almost three years later and I still smile when I see your name flash across my phone screen; coming home to you and wrapping my arms around you is my favorite part of the day. Sometimes it seems like even though my love for you continues to grow, that your love for me has already plateaued and is on the decline. 💔 I don’t need constant attention, just daily affection.

[whoneedscanon]

me, somewhere between mania and depression: but if i caffeinate the sadness will it disappear or get faster? me, twenty minutes later: