A CURRENT LIST OF POSSIBLE PLOT IDEAS FOR RAY TO BE INVOLVED IN, OPEN FOR USE WITH OTHER CHARACTERS
Inhuman SHIELD agent with Psychic Empathy/Psychic navigation. Written by Samui
Level 2 S.H.I.E.L.D agent, Communications monitor Field agent in training. >>> Level 3 S.H.I.E.L.D agent, Inhuman Specialist, Department of Training & Integration (TI, pronounced like ‘tea’ when referred casually)
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"Uh... yeah. Yep. That sounds like a good idea," Ray agreed.
Lighter certainly sounded like a good way to start. Sadie wasn't like Nic who'd volunteered regularly after their first accidental discovery of the ability. She wasn't familiar with how this all worked and -to be fair- Ray himself wasn't an expert either.
He turned and looked around before pointing out a lighter yellow colour under the watery surface. "That one there could be an option."
Light yellow, like butter. That didn't seem too intimidating. A nervous nod met the suggestion. "So I just... reach towards it?" She crouched down, arm outstretched. Her fingers slipped through the swirls of colour, careful to avoid the others. As soon as she made contact, a warmth seemed to lift her shoulders. She felt lighter than she had in years. A gentle joy, not overcoming, but calm and steady and comforting; the feeling of home washed over her.
"Sae Sae! Look! Look!" A little voice called through the room, though she could find no visible figure attached to it. Still, after just a moment's thought she whispered,
"Lou?" Wide eyes flickered to Ray, expression both confused and amazed. Could he hear her, too?
Ray tilted his head curiously as he watched. There wasn't a whole lot he could do besides make suggestions. They weren't his emotions to dig into (unless asked to). He couldn't see any triggered memories, at least not that he'd ever experienced. He wasn't sure on exactly how far the ability could stretch.
He could certainly hear the voice, but Ray had no idea of the context like Sadie did.
"I dunno what the memories are," he told Sadie. "I just help you regain access to them." He was definitely curious just how many memories were blocked out when it came to someone like Sadie. It really was a shame Marco so far had refused to let him help with his. They both knew there was a lot to work with there, but the Department head wouldn't let Ray in to try.
"You can't hear her?" She asked, surprised and not realizing he was referring to the context. Brief hesitation and the woman said, "She's my sister." Ray was embedded in her emotions. If she was going to allow herself to be this vulnerable with him, telling him that much felt... okay. Even if she was a little tentative. It wasn't as though she was giving him her sister's address. She didn't even know where her sister was, these days... What would Lou... what was her full name? It wasn't just Lou. She should know this.
The soldier closed her eyes for a moment, as frustration and sorrow began to swell, searching for the name, trying desperately to feel it roll from her tongue. To visualize the young face attached to the voice that had rippled through the room. Warm brown hair... braided. Tiny fingers weaving her own locks. Giggles and sheets pulled over heads, flashlight illuminating hazel eyes. A small voice in her ear, close enough that she could smell strawberry flavoured toothpaste, because her sister hadn't liked mint- Louise.
Louise! Relief washed over her, eyes prickling. "Thank you." She murmured to Ray, gratitude filling her chest. Even if this was all they managed to retrieve from this venture, she was grateful.
How old was Louise, now? She was sure they'd been close in age. She couldn't help but wonder what her sister's life was like. Would Sadie ever bring herself to search for her? For their parents? Rockland deserved to know his family, she didn't want him isolated from them, as his father had raised him. But... how would she even begin to explain where she'd been? How could she face them after everything she'd done? When she looked back into the water, the colours of the memory had shifted, expanding to include bittersweet hues; gratitude and longing, sadness, protective love and doubt, warmth and amusement.
"I can, but... It's weird. I can't see whatever you recall, but I can experience the emotions," Ray tried to explain. He felt he didn't do it justice. Whether or not that would change in time, he had no idea.
He wondered if he could try to push the psychic projection from here, much in the same way he was able to project this version of himself in the first place to access the place. But he was worried about potentially damaging the person he was already projecting into the emotional space of and hadn't dared use powers beyond what was necessary to make it work in the first place.
A sister? Ray smiled softly, watching the gratitude colour the water at Sadie's feet. He wasn't aware Sadie had a sister and it was nice being able to help recover such a thing.
“Alrighty,” Ray said before taking a long, calming breath in and out. “We're ready for this, right?”
Marco raised an eyebrow at him. “Not particularly, but it needs doing.” Slowly, he crossed from the bed where he'd been sitting reading and came to sit opposite Ray on the floor.
It was easier that way, Ray had learned. Should either of them need to suddenly end the session, either by their choice or someone intervening, it was better to be closer to the ground to minimise the risk of falling and potential injury as a result.
Ray's usual help was there, Nic Martin having been called in as he was the most familiar with the process and what signs to look for to indicate he needed to intervene and break the connection.
Fury was there as well. He claimed it was simply because he had to make sure Marco was definitely cleared to continue work, but Ray suspected he also wanted to see the demonstration of power compared to when they worked together years ago.
Of course, there were more guards, like in the interrogation room, but Ray had insisted they stay outside the room unless absolutely necessary. Fewer people meant less potential interference from stray emotions…and fewer people knowing the extent of his abilities, which he was more guarded about after his experience with Bancroft.
Marco sat cross-legged on a cushion, closing his eyes as he tried to relax and focus. He shifted uncomfortably, wishing he could gather some of the shadows. He felt too exposed without them, especially when he was about to allow Ray to access his mind.
He stared at the still-healing cut on Ray's lower lip and the bruising on his jaw near it.
“Hartell-”
Ray looked up, frowning at… something, his gaze not quite on Marco himself.
“You don't need to apologise again, mate,” He said. “I can see you feel shit about it.”
Oh. Of course, he'd be watching the colours. He needed to know Marco was calm enough to start. Marco wondered briefly what colour the guilt was, but didn't bother asking. They had work to do.
Behind them, Fury cleared his throat.
“We’re about to start, sir,” Ray reassured him.
Marco nodded. “We can start.”
Rather than verbally respond, Ray gently projected Calm. He preferred to start with a consistent baseline each time, rather than trying to jump into an anxious or stressed state. It made things much simpler. Once he was satisfied with the level of emotion, Ray reached his hands out, lightly touching his fingertips to Marco’s temples.
“Ray!” The voice was not one of alarm, but surprise. Marco -or rather a projected version of him- was staring around the space with wide-eyed wonder. “Is this the space you and Nic see every time you practice?”
Ray nodded. “Yep! Well, more or less the same. What we experience here will be unique depending on what emotions and memories we can uncover.”
“Right…” Marco said slowly as he looked around. “The descriptions the two of you gave really don’t do it justice.”
The open space, surrounded by a fog they could never quite seem to reach, the water they stood in yet never seemed to get wet… Ray had even tried to draw it once, but seeing it in person was another thing entirely.
“Any idea what kind of nasties we might come across?” Ray asked, looking over at his friend. It wouldn’t surprise him if they came across something like Sterling’s Merc manifestation.
Marco hesitated, the water he was standing on rippling with anxious dark yellows and frustrated reds. “Potentially my old handler,” he eventually said. “...Alastair? I suspect that wasn’t actually his name, but that was what I recall being told.”
Ray nodded. “Do you currently recall what he looks like?”
“Not really, no,” Marco replied with an apologetic smile. “I’m sure I’ll know him if we do see him though.”
“Alrighty.” Ray clapped his hands together a single time. “Where are we starting?”
Marco looked around, carefully searching the space for an answer. What exactly was he looking for, a sign labelled ‘start here’? At first, the watery surface just looked dark, but the more Marco studied it, the more he realised that there were colours. They looked like smokey dyes floating under the surface, some deeper than others.
“...are those going to be the forgotten ones?” he asked Ray, watching a faint swirl of colours. It seemed such a long way down.
Ray cringed, making Marco suspect he’d never had to work with one so deep before. “That, or an emotion you’ve repressed a lot…”
Marco slowly nodded. He looked uncertain.
“Mate,” Ray said gently as they walked towards a group of colours closer to the surface. “I’d suggest starting with something uh… more accessible. So… you know, you can see what it’s like.”
“Does it hurt?” Marco asked curiously. He was more concerned about Ray than himself. He’d seen the empath looking pretty rough sometimes after working with Nic.
“Uh… well it depends what we come across?” Ray answered, brushing a hand though his hair. “Usually it’s just exhausting. But yeah. Uh- There has been one time.”
“What was it like?”
“Drowning,” Ray said with a frown, thinking of the Merc incident. “Like drowning.” To be fair, the manifestation of Merc had actually tried to do just that. He’d been lucky Sterling had been able to snap him out of it.
What would happen then, if he was to ever find a way to look into his own emotions and memories? Would he come across a manifestation of Bancroft? He froze, hands clenching into fists. What if a Bancroft appeared and tried to shock them?
“Hartell?”
Would he be able to stop it? What if he couldn’t?
“Ray!”
He flinched and looked up at Marco, blinking a few times as he refocused.
“Where’d you go?” Marco asked, watching him with concern. He suspected he knew the answer, recognising the behaviour from his friend.
—--
Back in the training room, Fury stopped his pacing, watching Ray’s physical form tense. He stepped towards them, but Nic held an arm out in front of Fury to stop him.
“Wait,” he said. Sure enough, a few moments later Ray seemed to relax.
—--
“I…” Ray started to explain, but then stopped. He took a moment, looking like he couldn’t find the words before he decided to sign them instead.
“He won’t be here,” Marco reassured him. “And I certainly wouldn’t be letting him near you if he was.”
“...right,” Ray managed. “Sorry.”
Marco nodded. No, there would definitely be no Bancroft. Sure, the man haunted Ray, but from what little Marco could recall, he was certain his handler had been much worse.
—-------
“Bloody hell…” Ray muttered as he slumped against the wall. He sat there, taking a moment to catch his breath. “That was… intense.”
He smiled gratefully as Nic handed him a bottle of water before crossing over to check on Marco.
“What happened in there Hartell?” Fury asked, still standing, but leaning against the wall nearby. Both were watching Nic crouch down beside Marco, who was lying cushions where they'd sat on the floor.
While he was awake, Marco certainly didn't look well. He was pale and breathing heavily as if he'd just woken from a nightmare.
“It was uh…” Ray started, trying to find the words for it.
Marco -as Erebus- hunting down Hydra’s targets from the shadows, quietly disappearing back into the darkness afterwards. There were flashes of interactions with Sadie, some of which he'd already witnessed before. The grinning scientist. His features were still never quite clear, as if memories had been tampered with which concerned Ray and he explained as much to Fury.
There were memories of teenage Marco, signing up for military service, later being convinced he was joining a special elite group -by a man it turned out was the scientist- only to be actually signed up for Hydra and their experiments.
“...Bancroft has nothing on this guy,” Ray quietly told Fury. “Genetic experiments. Mind control…” he hadn't seen any clear signs of how the man controlled Marco at the time, but he and Marco had certainly witnessed the man approaching Marco in one of their trademark chairs.
“Hey Ellis, you with us?”
They watched Nic quietly speak to Marco, not seeming to care about being cautious. Nic gently put a hand on his friend’s shoulder to get his attention, waiting patiently for Marco's gaze to focus and look up at him.
“You look like you've seen a ghost man,” Nic said as he held out a bottle of water.
“...too many of them,” Marco muttered, slowly shifting to sit up. He gratefully took the water, slowly sipping it.
“And did you find the triggers?” Fury asked Ray, turning to look at the empath.
Ray nodded. “Oh yeah. I've got no idea what you've cleared sir. I'll… write them all down.”
“Thank you.”
“What exactly do you plan on doing sir? Testing all of them?”
“I'm aware of what's cleared. Just any possible new ones we missed.”
“Hopefully that won't end up necessary, besides the one that set all this off,” Ray frowned.
Marco had been through enough already and testing even the single existing trigger he figured would mean his friend was in for a pretty rough time over the next few days. He still had to process all the freshly accessed memories on top of it all.
“I want to see him in an hour,” Fury said as he headed towards the door. He didn't bother checking on Marco himself.
“Sir!” Ray protested, scrambling to his feet. Shit, he wished he hadn't. He had to fight back a wave of nausea for it. “He needs time to rest! He needs to process-”
“One. Hour,” Fury reiterated, not even bothering to turn to look. “I need him to be functional.”
Well this was certainly a throwback to the past. Ray followed Fury down a dim corridor, heading towards the holding cells they used for interrogations. While Fury wasn't technically Director anymore (he was, after all, dead as far as the public was concerned), the situation was the same.
Ray was being asked to help with an interrogation, to ensure there were no mistakes. People could act all they wanted, but that didn't hide their true emotions, not from an empath. It had been a long time since he'd been called in - back before Bancroft had messed everything up - but these were special circumstances and Ray was far more in control of his abilities than he had been back then.
Marco was already seated at the table, waiting, with guards waiting with ICERs both inside the room and out in the corridor, despite him still wearing the power inhibitor cuffs.
“Sir-” he started when he saw Fury himself enter, starting to rise.
“Sit Ellis,” Fury replied shortly.
Marco had been about to say something else, but stopped and nodded, sitting back down instead. He glanced at Ray, who stopped just out of Fury’s peripheral vision and signed ‘You look like shit mate.’
Marco couldn't openly respond, but it was the familiar colour of amusement that Ray was testing for. It was the same thing Ray had told him when he'd returned too early to the office after having his ribs broken.
Satisfied his friend was definitely still himself, Ray took the seat besides Fury's.
“What happened out there, agent Ellis?” Fury asked, his tone neutral. All professional, no hint of familiarity with Marco, despite being the one who'd rescued and promoted him after that serious injury.
“I'm certain it was a set up-”
Fury raised a hand, gesturing for him to stop. “Just tell me what happened.”
“Sir-”
“Agent Ellis!” Fury hissed. “You will answer as ordered!”
Marco looked surprised to be spoken to in such a way by Fury, but let out a small sigh and nodded.
“We weren't aware the target was a fellow agent,” he calmly explained. “He didn't seem himself when I approached. He had a… vacant expression, like he wasn't aware of his surroundings. He was confused about who we were, despite being another agent.”
“Have you met him before?”
“Yes, sir. Once. Hartell introduced me to him.”
“How does Hartell know him?” Fury asked.
“I was told they went to school together.”
They both glanced at Ray, who nodded confirmation. “Yeah. That day was the first I'd heard of him joining SHIELD. Seth had explained he'd been recruited to the Aussie base, over in West Australia, but had temporarily been brought up to our base at the time.”
“And that was the first time you'd seen him since school?” Fury asked curiously.
“No. First time since moving to the States after school though. We'd hung out after graduating before I left.”
Fury nodded and turned back to Marco. “So there was no sign the agent recognised you?”
“No sir. He didn't even respond with his own name when asked. I had to close in and look at the ID myself.”
Fury nodded, reaching for something in his pocket. Marco tensed, suspecting he knew what it was.
Ray mirrored the tension, picking up on it from the guards as well as Marco.
“Was this the ID shown to you?” Fury asked, placing the card on the table before them.
Marco shook his head. It was the actual ID belonging to Seth, not attached to a lanyard at all. In fact it looked newly printed.
“Absolutely not. This is brand new sir, surely you know-”
“This card was requested for in paperwork a month ago. It's been sitting uncollected back in the Australian base since then,” Fury told them. “The agent it belongs to, I have been informed, had lost his original, but went missing the day after this was requested.”
Both Ray and Marco looked concerned by the information. It all screamed Set up to them.
“Now, this ID…” Fury continued, looking up at Marco, studying his body language as he reached into his pocket again. “I believe was the one you removed from the other agent?”
And there it was.
Marco's own, much younger face staring back up at him once Fury dropped the lanyard ID onto the table. It didn't give his real name, only the code name of ‘Erebus’. He slowly shook his head, disappointed with himself. So young. Barely graduated from high school.
Seeing no suggestions of behaviour change from the ID itself, Fury reached out to slowly flip it over, keeping his eye on Marco the whole time.
Ray wasn't looking directly at his friend, but instead watching the air around him, focused on the coloured emotions no one else present could see.
All fall in the shadow of Erebus.
Marco tensed, cuffed hands curling into fists.
“Fight it,” Fury instructed. Another of his typical, detached orders. No hint of concern, just orders.
“If I hadn't fought it in the first place, Hartell's friend would have been dead!” Marco hissed.
Ray could see the struggle. Frustration and determination fighting for dominance of something grey. Something terrible. He tilted his head, wondering if he could gently amplify Marco's determination to beat the old conditioning. He knew his friend had done it previously, though Ray had no idea to what extent, but why leave him struggling alone when help was available?
Letting out a breath as he focused, Ray very carefully picked up on the determined green and fed it back, starting small in case it didn't have the desired effect.
“What does it make you want to do?” Fury asked curiously.
Marco grimaced, fingernails digging into his palms. “Kill the agents…” he muttered. “Kill Director Fury.”
“Good thing he's technically not Director right now then, ‘ey?” Ray said jokingly, though a hint of nervousness was still present in his voice. Sure, the technicality helped Fury, but Ray himself was still in danger if Marco couldn't fight it.
“Not the time Ray!” Marco hissed.
“But Ray’s correct,” Fury interrupted. “It makes it clear they're definitely old orders. We can safely say it's something we simply missed when we first brought you in.”
“Can we please remove it?” Marco asked irritably.
Fury ignored him.
Ray glanced at Fury, then back at Marco, concerned. Despite his attempts to help, his friend was still struggling to fight the grey.
“Sir-” Ray started, frowning when Fury held a hand to stop him.
“Please.”
Ray let out a sigh of frustration. He was under orders to not interfere, only to read, unless otherwise ordered by Fury, but he could see Marco was struggling, even with his eyes closed to avoid looking at the trigger words.
He glanced at Fury again before deciding to act. Ray leaned forward, reaching out to snatch up the lanyard off the table. The action meant he was no longer focused on helping amplify the determination though.
Ray didn't see Marco move, but he certainly felt it. Marco struck him using the cuffs on his wrists, sending the empath sprawling onto the floor beside the table.
“Shit -” he started as Marco turned to come after him. Ray quickly flung his hands up, overwhelming Marco with calm as he'd done to Seth the previous day.
No one moved to catch Marco though, leaving him to simply drop to the floor, asleep.
Ray sighed in relief, reaching up to wipe blood from his mouth.
“He held back,” he quietly said to Fury, still hopeful. “He didn't hit full force…”
It was, Ray hoped, purely by chance that the metal of the cuff had hit him. Even if it was intended, Ray knew he'd held back, having seen Marco training plenty of times.
Marco was still fighting.
Fury nodded, rising from his chair. He turned to the agents guarding the door.
“You. Get a medic in here to assess Hartell. You, bring the others from outside and have them take agent Ellis back to the cell. Then go to the Science department and give them this.”
He pulled a pen and small piece of paper from his pocket, then grabbed the lanyard from Ray, quickly scribbling a note. He handed both to the guard.
Both the guards nodded and rushed to do as ordered.
Fury then turned and moved to help Ray to his feet, watching as the empath sat back in his chair.
“I think he's right,” Fury said after a silence.
“Huh?” Ray asked, giving up on formality as he held a hand to his bleeding lip.
“I think it was a set up,” Fury explained. “The problem is, by who?”
Ray shrugged.
“Hartell.”
Ray quickly looked up at him.
“I know he's asked you to try and help with his memories.”
“How-?”
“I want you to do it. No arguments. He may have requested it as a friend, but I'm ordering it. He's not an agent we can afford to lose.”
Ray sure was glad he’d been working on physical training, along with his powers. He paused, one hand pressing against the smooth bark of a Eucalyptus tree as he carefully studied the area around himself, watching and listening for signs of his target.
Despite having agents across most of the world, SHIELD had asked Ray specifically to pick a team and jump in to help with the mission. New powers emerging back in the city could be handled by any standard team of agents, but this?
New powers in the Australian bush, not far from where Ray himself grew up, made him a specialist in the situation. It helped that with his empath vision, he could spot them quicker too. But they were fast. Time was short. The target was said to have developed fire-based abilities.
“Where are you, ya bastard?” Ray muttered to himself as he carefully scanned the area. They had to find this person before they accidentally used their powers. In the bush, that was likely to trigger a fast-moving inferno.
“One, two, three…” Ray counted the coloured human shapes he could see among the tall trees.
There was the familiar dark yellow of work-stressed Marco. The focused, optimistic green of Shigeru and the nervous, excited orange of Hailey. Ideally, he wouldn’t have brought her along, but in such a sensitive situation, Ray needed the two wind users. Should things go wrong, the winds could be used to contain any fires. Hailey’s trick of removing oxygen was even more beneficial when it came to preventing a bushfire.
He wished they could have brought Owen along to make use of his barriers, but the priest wasn’t in a position to travel with them between Christmas Masses and being under observation for potential health triggers.
And there was the fourth, a calm and patient blue from his trainee Iokua. The Hawaiian man was brilliant with his staff and could use his ability to create effects from drawings to help out with fire prevention himself. Using his traditional tattoos, Iokua could create water and wind. He also had a couple of tattoos added during his LARPing days in high school, alchemical symbols such as wood, which allowed him to recreate his staff anywhere he was able to draw the straight line necessary.
Ray turned, still slowly scanning. Trees. Trees. Koala dozing in a tree. There! An appropriately fiery orange-red of fear and nervousness, a little further downhill from them.
“Marco, downhill to your right!” he quickly said over their comms.
“On it,” Came the reply.
The department head was certainly glad the tall eucalypts gave plenty of shade, knowing his shadow powers would be fairly useless to them in the open summer sun. He was even more pleased with his specially designed sunglasses Kristi had gifted him to help protect his light-sensitive eyes when the sun did shine through.
He crept closer, occasionally shadow-jumping to help avoid being heard or spotted as he drew closer.
“Wait,” Marco said quietly to the others. “Why’s the target dressed in tactical, almost like-”
The target turned, wandering in a seemingly random path as if disoriented. There was a SHIELD logo on his shoulder.
“Hartell!” he whispered sharply. “Were you told he was one of ours?”
“He’s what?” Ray asked, genuinely confused by the news. “No! That’s news to me. Can you ID?”
“Certainly familiar,” Marco reported. “But I can’t place him. Let me get a little closer-”
“Can you not ICE him?” Shigeru interrupted to ask.
“Yes, but that’s a backup,” Marco reminded him. “Protocol is to give newbies a chance to talk and come willingly for assessment if there’s no immediate danger.”
“No offense,” Iokua added. “But isn’t the very idea of the fire in this bush considered a danger? Waiting seems stupid.”
Marco rolled his eyes at the chatter. “Yes. But as I am in charge and there’s no immediate threat of being roasted, you can all shut it while I approach. Got it?”
No one dared reply.
Marco carefully approached. “Agent?” he called out, announcing his presence to avoid scaring the man with an ambush. “Can you identify yourself?”
The blonde-haired man looked toward him, but didn’t respond. Marco was certain they’d met before, if only once. He couldn’t recall where, though. There was something off about the man, though. Maybe he was just dehydrated from being lost in the bush? His expression seemed distant.
“Agent,” Marco tried again. “We’re here to help.”
“We…?” the blonde man finally mumbled. “Who?”
“SHIELD. Like yourself.” Marco gestured at the insignia on the man’s shoulder. “We’re here to help. Do you have ID?”
The man nodded, slowly reaching to pull a lanyard out from under his shirt. His expression still seemed oddly blank. He held the card up backwards, but there seemed to be something written on it. With a roll of his eyes, Marco stepped closer and grabbed at the lanyard so he could read it.
“It was a simple request-” he started to chastise the younger agent, only to suddenly stop, his grip involuntarily tightening on the card. “You think this is funny? Where did you get this?” he hissed at the agent instead, yanking the lanyard from around the man’s neck.
All fall in the shadow of Erebus.
“You ‘right, mate? You're looking a bit off colour…” Ray said over the comms. “You need us to come in?”
Marco stared down at the words, knuckles white as he gripped the lanyard tight. He only realised his hands were shaking when the movement caused the ID to turn, revealing the ID was not this blonde agent's at all.
It was his.
It was his old Hydra card, with Erebus’ old trigger words on the back, freshly written and smudged from his fingers.
Shadows collected in Marco’s free hand, forming into that all-too-familiar dagger.
“Agent Ellis!” Shigeru’s voice came sharply from the trees.
Even as he landed lightly on the ground, Marco was already stepping towards the blonde agent.
“Marco!” Ray called from higher up the hill, dropping the agent formality in hopes it would help draw his friend’s attention. He started running anyway, hoping he could get close enough to calm everything down.
Someone else got there first. Right as Marco was drawing back his hand, Iokua breezed in, knocking the shadow user’s feet out from under him with his staff. He didn’t fight back, letting Iokua hit him with a controlled staff jab to his wrist, forcing his hand open and making the shadow knife dissolve as he let go of it.
“Don’t move,” Iokua warned him. “Or I’ll be knocking off those fancy shades next.”
Marco nodded. He wasn’t going to risk having his eyes exposed to the Australian afternoon sun.
Iokua turned back to the blonde agent, who was attempting to run and cursed under his breath. He couldn’t leave Marco unattended when he was compromised, both for Marco’s own safety and everyone else’s. Luckily, Shigeru dashed in, landing in front of the escaping agent, who quickly stopped when he discovered a katana pointed at him.
“Shit- Don’t… hurt him!” Ray called out as he finally got close enough.
“Right…” Ray slowed to a light jog and gestured with a hand towards the blonde agent who was standing with his back to Ray.
Overwhelmed with calm, he fell into a deep sleep, Shigeru sheathing his sword and moving to catch the falling agent before he crashed to the ground. With the target dealt with, Ray first turned to his attention to Marco.
“...you with us, mate?” he asked cautiously.
There was a silence, everyone watching tensely as they waited for a response. Iokua stood beside the agent on the ground, staff held ready in two hands, just in case.
Marco nodded. He was frowning, but it was hard to read his expression properly with his eyes hidden by the sunglasses. Fortunately, Ray could read him perfectly clear regardless. The air around his friend was thick with emotions. Fear (a rarity from Marco). Anxiety. Disappointment. Regret. Shame.
Ray sighed and crouched beside the Department head. “You know we’ll have to cuff you with the power inhibitors, too, now, right?”
“Of course,” Marco responded. “It’s protocol.”
He held up his hands, letting Ray put them on. Knowing he could no longer summon shadows to attack or teleport, Iokua stepped back and let him sit up. As a sign that he was himself, Marco reached up to remove his shades; now his eyes were no longer light-sensitive, and he handed them to Ray.
“This kind of shit is exactly why I wanted you to help me before I talk to her,” he said quietly to Ray.
“I thought they made sure they got all the code words of former Traitors?” Shigeru asked coldly.
“Well, apparently they missed one,” Marco responded, glaring at him.
“Dad?” Hailey called out as she finally found the group. “Dad, what’s going on?”
Ray gently pressed a wave of calm across them all to stop their bickering as he headed toward Shigeru to check on the blonde agent. He froze.
Sterling had never felt this... raw in front of anyone before. Not in a very long time. It was telling how much he trusted Ray that he went to him in this moment. His emotions were bursting out of him in all the wrong ways and in all the wrong times. Seeking solace in Ray and his abilities, in a friend and his experience with handling people at their most vulnerable, was possibly the only thing keeping him from walking straight into a metaphorical ocean. Ray had seen inside there, and yet there was something else that was haunting him worse than Merc. In addition to even.
He didn't know what feeling it more would do, but carrying on like he had wasn't helping at all either.
"Do it." He swallowed and nodded, wiping tears from his puffy red eyes. Sterling hesitated though. He still had a few hours left in his shift. This would surely cause him to be unable to work.
Then again, he couldn't return to his office like this. He couldn't concentrate on work like this.
"After work. I don't know what would happen if we did this now. Here."
Yes, that made sense. It would be foolish to push it before work was finished. Sterling would have no chance of finishing any work he had to do (although Ray was surprised he was even managing as it was).
"I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere, we'll have plenty of time," he reassured Sterling. It wasn't something that was going to be rushed just because Ray had somewhere else to be. By chance, Hailey was already set up for a girl's night with her aunt Cassie, so he didn't need to hurry home at all.
"Would you feel more comfortable here, or in the training room?" he asked, trying to gauge whether Sterling had a idea of how he might react once they started.
Was he more likely to emotionally break down or potentially need to scream and shout it all out, or even physically let the emotions out. If it was more likely a physical outburst, Ray could easily arrange for something to help channel it all, whether it be a punching bag or something to smash.
At least Ray knew he didn't also have to plan for power outbursts.
It had been a number of years since they had mutually decided that a long-term relationship just wasn't in the cards, but that didn't stop the little care package from arriving to Ray's office. The from address read Washington, D.C. and the handwriting was unmistakably pristine. Inside, a post-card with a picture of the Tidal Basin in full cherry-blossom bloom with a note in the same, neat, blocky handwriting nestled gently atop a nest of brown paper shreddings that read simply: "Happy Birthday! I hope it is your best one, yet! Try not to eat it all in one sitting. <3"
Inside the humbley-sized box, buried beneath the paper, but packed with precision and care was a full selection of snacks, sweets and shelf-stable foods specific to Australia - many of them Ray's favorites, but a few experimental things thrown in.
Ray had barely sat down at his desk for the morning when he'd spotted the mail that Agent Jordan had left for him. At first he stared at it, his still half-asleep brain taking a moment to process what he was looking at.
A package? Me? Why?
Oh, duh, birthday yesterday.
But who-?
He adjusted his glasses on his face (still not quite used to wearing them so regularly), leaning forwards to look at the item properly. Ray had to turn it over to spot the typed- no, handwritten address, suddenly having a strong feeling he knew it was from. The empath only knew one person with such precise handwriting.
Still, he took his time opening it, carefully lifting out the postcard. Ray stared at the picture, studying it for a moment.
I should go see it for myself. One day.
When he finally turned the postcard over, Ray couldn't help but smile softly at the writing.
Wait, eat?
Ray glanced back down at the box, suddenly snapped out of his reminiscing to have a look. The soft smile turned into a grin when he found a few of his favourites.
"Well those aren't gonna last long" he chuckled when he spotted a packet of lamingtons among the mix.
Once he'd had a bit more of a look through the box, Ray pulled out his phone to send a message.
[Text] Germaine!
Thanks for the ripper gift. It was certainly better than previous years, nice and peaceful.
How's life over at your end? Not chaotic like work here sometimes, I hope.
We should talk soon, it's been a while.
Ray <3
"Uh... yeah. Yep. That sounds like a good idea," Ray agreed.
Lighter certainly sounded like a good way to start. Sadie wasn't like Nic who'd volunteered regularly after their first accidental discovery of the ability. She wasn't familiar with how this all worked and -to be fair- Ray himself wasn't an expert either.
He turned and looked around before pointing out a lighter yellow colour under the watery surface. "That one there could be an option."
Light yellow, like butter. That didn't seem too intimidating. A nervous nod met the suggestion. "So I just... reach towards it?" She crouched down, arm outstretched. Her fingers slipped through the swirls of colour, careful to avoid the others. As soon as she made contact, a warmth seemed to lift her shoulders. She felt lighter than she had in years. A gentle joy, not overcoming, but calm and steady and comforting; the feeling of home washed over her.
"Sae Sae! Look! Look!" A little voice called through the room, though she could find no visible figure attached to it. Still, after just a moment's thought she whispered,
"Lou?" Wide eyes flickered to Ray, expression both confused and amazed. Could he hear her, too?
Ray tilted his head curiously as he watched. There wasn't a whole lot he could do besides make suggestions. They weren't his emotions to dig into (unless asked to). He couldn't see any triggered memories, at least not that he'd ever experienced. He wasn't sure on exactly how far the ability could stretch.
He could certainly hear the voice, but Ray had no idea of the context like Sadie did.
"I dunno what the memories are," he told Sadie. "I just help you regain access to them." He was definitely curious just how many memories were blocked out when it came to someone like Sadie. It really was a shame Marco so far had refused to let him help with his. They both knew there was a lot to work with there, but the Department head wouldn't let Ray in to try.
It showed on his face as Ray told him the options he didn't think Ray could help him. A hopelessness settled into his eyes but he tried to take a deep breath and blow it out to keep from crying again.
"I don't want that." He said, rubbing his face again with both hands to dry his skin. He hated that tight feeling tears gave his face. "I don't want you in there again. Not for my sake, but yours. Last time... I dont know who all you're going to find in there and I can't let you do that." He sighed, defeated.
"That's the problem. I can't STOP feeling them. I just want to scream every minute of every day and I can't because then people will want to know WHY and I can't TELL them WHY!" Sterling sniffed, reigning back how frantic he had become until just heavy shaky breaths. "Do... Do you think feeling them more," that sounded so scary, "would help? I feel like... All that would do is break me."
"Hey, I'm not saying I want it either," Ray calmly pointed out. "Just putting the options out." Why eliminate a potentially effective option just because it could be uncomfortable for himself? It seemed selfish to Ray, so he'd opted to mention it, despite the potential danger to himself.
The empath flinched and leaned back a little in response to Sterling's brief outburst. He felt it as well as heard it, habitually brushing a hand through his hair as a sort of grounding technique. Focus. Don't let it effect you.
"Well..." he eventually said. "If you can feel them very clearly, they'd be easier to really identify and talk about, right?" Or do what Ray did once and go smash things to help let it all out.
Damn it, Zach did teach a lot of techniques that helped get me to where I am now. It really was a shame he'd turned out to be another manipulative asshole.
"I don't. know. how." Sterling struggled to get the words out, his eyes watering. "They won't come out. I've tried. I... I haven't told anyone. Ever." He rubbed his face with both hands, hoping to reign his emotions back in but his chest and breathing shook. The effort of just keeping himself from dissolving was draining him. Expending more to just be ok was shutting him down.
'It's ok to be a fucking mess.' Emma's golden advice to him back when Merc had happened and he'd had a panic attack at work echoed in his mind. She'd been right, he knew it, and he thought of her words often. However, he never listened to them, did he?
With Ray's offer to help, not bury it with his powers, Sterling looked up just as the tears finally fell down his cheeks.
"You don't necessarily need to get the words out al the time. Sometimes...it's okay to just sit with them. Acknowledge them and...let yourself feel them." He felt it was a poor explanation of what he'd been told by Dr Salvi and Cassie, but it was an attempt at least.
He tensed when he saw the tears, habitually running a hand through his hair before nodding.
"Okay," Ray said. "Okay. So... there are two options here. One probably messier than the other. I can make you feel them, by reading the emotions and amplifying them back. I'd prefer to do that it a training room though as it can get uh... smashy." There was a hint of a smile and a shrug as if to say 'ask me how I know'.
"Or... somewhat more invasive, but I can project and uh- well psychically help untangle some of the mess." Surely there wouldn't be anything worse than the time he'd accidentally done it and briefly met Merc, right?
Despite Ray gesturing toward the seat, Sterling remained standing. Something about that felt better. No, maybe not better. It felt right? Like if he sat he might shatter. Standing felt stronger. The fight of flight response in him wouldn't allow him to sit.
At the question, Sterling froze and his eyes locked on the floor. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. They refused. He'd tried. He just couldn't get the words out. They were trapped inside of him like a rubber ball in a tiny room, bouncing around breaking things with nowhere to go.
"There's this... pit in my stomach. And I can't... I don't know why it's there and I don't know what to do with it. I don't know what it is and it's... hollowing me out from the inside. I don't know how to make it stop."
He closed his eyes and his shoulders and head dropped in defeat.
"I'm so tired of being told how well I'm carrying everything because I'm just fucking not. It's exhausting but... I don't know how to stop pretending it's not."
Ray bit his lip as he watched and listened. It was...strange being on the other end of this. Wrong. Not that he thought no one else could feel down or be struggling, more so that it was Sterling. The one who many saw as the agent.
Like people talked about Coulson.
But that was the problem, wasn't it? The constant pressure to be that perfect agent. The never-ending paperwork and danger when you were out and about. And the holding it all together to keep up that appearance.
I'm so tired of being told how well I'm carrying everything...
And there it was.
Ray had seen hints of it when they'd caught up a few months back and for a moment looked guilty. Damn it, he'd seen it and not really followed up as they'd gotten caught up in their own departments.
The empath slowly shook his head. Rather than making Sterling coffee, he turned and grabbed a small bottle of water out of a minifridge built into the little coffeemaking counter. He simply placed it on the table for Sterling to take if he wanted.
"Mate," he said slowly, gently. "I would absolutely not recommend holding it in. Take it from someone who knows."
They'd both experienced what holding in emotions did, Ray thinking of the time Sterling had had to help clean up the mess following Ray and Phillipa's fight in the break room after she had set off Ray while he was fragile and bottling up both his own and other people's collected emotions.
Think. What have you been instructed to do when you're struggling?
"You're allowed to not be okay. You're allowed to say it. Hell, ya need to say it." Ray paused, carefully considering options. Obviously, calling in someone like Dr Salvi would not be a wise choice. Sterling needed to make those kind of moves on his own.
"I can help... If you'd like. I don't mean just helping bury it either."
He decided not to overwhelm Sterling by going over the options straight away, deciding it was better to wait and see if he was even interested, or if he simply wanted someone to listen.
Sterling felt the familiar touch of calm and knew it had to have been Ray holding him together. The nudge was needed and he mouthed a quick "Thank you" as the feeling washed over him, even just a smidge. He hadn't come to Ray to cover up the feelings, he'd come to Ray in hopes of some way to manage it. After all, Ray had gone through a lot and he not only had to manage his own feelings in the process but those of everyone around him. If anyone could help him take the next steps it was Hartell.
When the door of Ray's office had been closed behind them, Ray witnessed something very few people had in the past.
Sterling's lips trembled. His shoulders dropped. He ran a hand through his hair and kept it there gripping his locks in frustration. His eyes watered. He looked... utterly defeated.
"I... I haven't been to therapy in over a month. I just... I can't go. I can't... say it. And I know she's going to ask and I... I can't tell her so why even go?" He was breathing hard now, his words coming a little quicker than he had planned. Desperate. "I'm sorry. To put this all on you."
Ray made an effort to close the door gently, not wanting to risk disturbing the fragile state he could see. He turned toward Sterling then, a pained look briefly crossing his face as he watched his friend. It wasn't from picking up the feelings though, Ray had that channel closed tight at that moment, knowing it would do no good to pick the emotions up and get hit with them himself.
Sure, Ray was used to the body language, but mostly when it had been his own. Not like this. Not from Sterling.
"No," Ray said gently. "Don't- You don't need to apologize mate."
He gestured towards one of the armchairs to one side of the office.
"We've been through this plenty of times. You've seen me at some pretty bloody low moments and always stopped to help," And I would have probably been dead if you hadn't that first time.
"Uh... can't say what, exactly?" Okay, so he wasn't an expert at this. Cassie was far better, or Dr Salvi. But Sterling was his friend and he'd come here, so Ray would try his best to help.
Fortunately, Ray (and his cousin Cassie) had been teaching ASL to anyone they were working regularly with, on the off chance Ray was having one of his off days.
Rather than interrupting Sterling and Ray b acknowledging verbally, the young man nodded and signed a thank you before going over to the cookies, fetching one for both himself and the other trainee.
Ray watched the two for a moment before turning to study Sterling. He returned the smile, always glad to see (and actually have) his friends, but he could feel something was... off. The empath closed his eyes for a moment, it much quicker process these days to activate his 'empath vision'.
I... I'm... struggling
He didn't need to hear the words to know that. A look of alarm briefly crossed Ray's face, both out of concern for Sterling and the fact he hadn't been expecting so much and had to close his eyes again, brow furrowed as he worked to make sure that he wasn't going to take on any of that emotion himself.
Ray let out a breath of relief once he had it under control.
"That's a lot of grey..." he muttered to himself. Ray sprang into action then, none of the awkward indecision he'd have had in the past.
Pulling out his phone, he quickly sent Nic a message, asking him to come and take over training and then quickly signed to the trainees to stay and wait for the older agent. Ray then turned back to Sterling.
"We can talk in my office, if you'd prefer," he said.
He doubted Sterling wanted to discuss personal matters in front of strangers in a training room, when there was an option of a private, comfortable office that also happened to have coffee.
"I assume that's not great." Sterling could feel the armor he carried actively cracking. The effort to keep up his smile, his tall and perfect posture, and his pristine appearance was becoming a weight too heavy and his shoulders and his smile seemed to falter first, giving Ray a preview of the exhaustion he truly felt.
"I would prefer, yes." He said quietly, almost in a whisper. "I'm not sure... what to do." Sterling's words hesitated so much and each one was a struggle to force out. Ray had never seen this in him before. The negative aura, sure. He'd seen him at low points, but he always had some foothold on this mountain of darkness. Now it seemed he was just hanging on the line, unable or unwilling to move.
"Yeah, nah. It's- nah, it's not good," Ray said quietly. He looked at Sterling with concern as he studied his friend.
The brief slip in the body language was the biggest alarm to Ray, even if it was the most subtle. Ray had seen Sterling stressed and tired before, but never to a point where he was struggling to keep his professionalism he was so known for, without it being a controlled release.
That and the amount of dark colours swirling around him. Sure there were a few other colours, but those only seemed to be the emotions tied to being in such a state.
I'm not sure... what to do.
Ray took in a sharp breath in response to the words. They were familiar, sure, but usually from himself. Never from Sterling. He glanced over at the trainees, then decided they'd be fine waiting a few minutes alone for Nic.
"Come on," he said quietly, heading to leave the training room.
He reached a hand out, gently nudging Sterling's shoulder to make sure he had his attention. That and it came with just a small feeling of calm, not enough to remove anything Sterling was feeling, but enough to help make sure he'd keep it together on the ay to the office. Thankfully it was just further down the corridor.
