this too can count as haxfume crumbs i guess 😭 haxfume are loser4loser
loser4loser, auraless4auraless, dumbass4dumbass the pairing of all time
$LAYYYTER
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
untitled
macklin celebrini has autism
The Bowery Presents

bliss lane
Show & Tell

if i look back, i am lost

shark vs the universe

#extradirty
Xuebing Du
almost home
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Noah Kahan
noise dept.

titsay
sheepfilms
taylor price
Game of Thrones Daily
seen from United States

seen from Iraq
seen from France

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from Brazil
seen from Australia
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Germany

seen from France

seen from United States

seen from T1
seen from Vietnam
seen from Malaysia

seen from Belgium
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from France
seen from Italy
@emufxah
this too can count as haxfume crumbs i guess 😭 haxfume are loser4loser
loser4loser, auraless4auraless, dumbass4dumbass the pairing of all time
I was like what if I did a proper design for villain hax? And then I did
Here is a 🎁 for @haxfume that was inspired by his art. I am writing Emufxah for the Emufxah fans. I shall now provide you 1,100 words of Emufxah Hero/Villain AU.
The frozen concrete was awfully cold against the back of Hax's neck, but he could barely focus on the temperature.
Above him, Void was leaning down with all his weight. Void held both of Hax’s wrists pinned securely over his head using just a single, wide, gloved hand. It was an ridiculously efficient display of strength, and Hax’s heart was beating way too fast in his chest. He was thankful for his bangs falling into his eyes, to cover how flustered he was. Void was the #1 villain, and Hax-- or Flurry, the #1 hero-- was supposed to be trying to freeze him into an ice cube right now. But Void's stupidly OP nullification was active, making Hax's ice useless.
And, well, to be honest… Hax was kinda way too into being pinned down like this. Void’s hand was obviously bigger than his own, wrapping around Hax's wrists with terrifying ease. Hax bit the inside of his cheek, trying his best to keep his face neutral.
"So, are you going to try hitting me again, Flurry?" Void asked.
"Maybe," Hax wheezed out, trying to sound cool and heroic and failing miserably. "If you let me go, maybe I will."
Instead of answering or attacking, Void let out a heavy sigh. With his free hand, he reached into the pocket of his black hoodie and pulled out a small, slightly battered paper catalogue. He held it up right in front of Hax's face.
"I need your opinion on something," Void said seriously, completely ignoring the fact that they were in the middle of a high stakes battle. "I-- um, I'm trying to buy a gift for my roommate, but I… need help."
Hax blinked behind his bangs, entirely thrown off. "Your... what?"
"My-- my roommate. It's his birthday in three days," Void grumbled, tapping a finger against the paper. "Choose one. The cat-shaped silicone desk lamp, or these mini cat keycaps."
Hax stared at the catalogue. His powers were still nullified, and he didn't know why Void was asking him anyway, but if it meant possibly impressing Void, he had no reason not to help. "Oh, uh, you should probably get the silicone lamp."
"Why?" Void asked.
"Because keycaps are risky!" Hax explained, forgetting that he was currently defeated in battle and pinned on the ground. "This guy is probably, like, a gamer or maybe someone who types a lot, right? What if his keyboard uses low-profile switches? What if he doesn't like the texture of ABS plastic under his fingers while he types? A silicone nightlight is universal! It's squishy, so if he gets stressed, he can poke it or whatever, and it gives off warm ambient lighting which helps with, like, visual fatigue during late night work. Plus, it's cute. Everyone likes cats, it's sorta just optimal… even if the keycaps have cats as well!"
"Okay, okay," Void interrupted, stuffing the catalogue back into his pocket. "Dude, that's enough. You don't need to keep talking."
"I'm just explaining my reasoning!" Hax protested, wiggling his pinned hands just a tiny bit. "Bro-- why the fuck are you asking me for gift advice anyway? We're enemies, no?"
Void grunted, tightening his grip on Hax's wrists just enough to make Hax's brain go fully blank for a second. "You two seem similar. You both yap constantly about useless shit."
Hax felt a sudden surge of curiosity. "What is he like? Your roommate."
Void went quiet for a second. His head tilted slightly, staring down at Hax through his navy ski goggles. "He's... a little annoying," Void muttered, though his tone softened in a way that made Hax's stomach twist with a weird, ugly jealousy. "He cooks terrible dishes and burns them, and he-- well, he talks about stupid hypotheticals for hours when I'm trying to focus. But he works really hard at his uni stuff, and he has a really nice laugh, I guess. And he always stays up to make sure I'm doing fine when I'm stressed, even if it comes at the cost of his sleep schedule."
Hax's chest felt heavy. Void was talking about his roommate like he was the most special person in the world. Hax wished desperately that Void would look at him like that, instead of just seeing him as some random rival to fight on rooftops.
"Your roommate sounds stupid," Hax said, turning his face away childishly.
"Hey," Void snapped, his tone returning to something sharper. "Don't talk about him like that! He's not stupid." Void released Hax's wrists suddenly and stood up, brushing snow off his black shorts. "Hurry up and get the fuck off the floor, Flurry. I gotta go and buy this lamp before the store closes."
Before Hax could even stand up to restart their fight, Void vanished down the alleyway, disappearing into the shadows.
Three days later, Hax was sitting at the kitchen table in his normal civilian clothes, shivering slightly even though he was wearing a sweater and sweatpants. His hair was pulled into a low ponytail, and he was staring miserably at his laptop while working on a paper.
Infume walked into their flat, wearing his usual white hoodie and carrying a plain brown gift box. "Happy birthday, Hax," Infume said bluntly, dropping the box right onto Hax's desk.
Hax's eyes lit up, a massive grin splitting across his face. "For me? Really?"
Infume's ears turned bright red instantly. He looked away, pulling his hood down further over his messy hair to hide his embarrassment. "Yeah. Just open it."
Hax pulled off the tape eagerly and opened the box. Inside was a squishy, cat-shaped silicone lamp. Hax gasped, incredibly pleased with the gift his friend got him. It was the exact same lamp he had told Void about three days ago! Huh, what a coincidence. I guess Infume and I have the same taste, though Infume doesn't know that. Or he's just good at guessing what I like. He brushed over the odd coincidence, since there must be plenty of people getting cat lamps due to how great of a gift it was.
"Infume!" Hax beamed, holding the cute lamp up to his chest. "Thank you. How did you know I wanted this exact one? It's literally perfect!"
"Uh," Infume stammered, scratching his beard awkwardly. "An annoying guy from work helped me pick it out."
Hax giggled, setting the lamp down proudly on his desk. Infume really is the best roommate ever, Hax thought to himself. He felt so lucky to live with Infume-- unlike that stupid roommate that Void lived with, who was probably some unbearable chud.
INFAX...
are you like a real person
Any guesses as to who's running that inverted clone account
Some lad named "CEO" appears to be running it, though there could be more individuals helping beneath the surface.
I miss my haxfume wifetails, i miss them a lot
joining the rtf posting. frictionless is cancelled because its rpf. we're writing rtf now
Everything had seemed normal enough, with just a few throwaway jokes about how Infume’s laundry basket had two slots but only one occupant. Infume had just sighed, rolling his seams at his monitor. He was used to this. But as time wore on, the banter didn't fade out like it usually did. Instead, his friends seemed to feed off each other's static energy. They were messing around with Infume once again, relentlessly teasing him for being completely un-shared. It was a familiar routine. However, his friends took the joke a little too far. Before Infume could even attempt to shake the wrinkles out, Poundy (of course it's fucking Poundy) pulled up his screenshare on Discord and started actually putting together a Tinder profile for him.
“100% Egyptian cotton, looking for someone to absorb spills with.”
Panicking at the thought of having a dating profile in any form, Infume blurted out the first thought his fabric conjured.
"I’m literally seeing someone!"
The linen closet fell dead silent. Even the distant hum of the tumble dryer downstairs seemed to pause. On the upper shelf, Feinberg’s threads tightened in suspicion.
"You're what?" Poundy’s voice echoed through linen closet, his digital cursor hovering over a photo of a generic microfiber cloth. "Infume, you are a simple white and grey towel. You spend ninety percent of your week folded in a neat, socially anxious rectangle. Who could you possibly be seeing?"
"I am!" Infume insisted, his seams fraying slightly from sheer panic. His gray borders bristled against the wire rack. "We just—we wanted to keep it on the down-low because I knew you guys would do exactly this. We've been talking. For a while."
"Oh yeah?" Feinberg chimed in. "What's their thread count, Infume? What brand are they? Give us a name."
Infume’s mind went entirely blank. His eyes darted across the list of available towels in the various closests, desperately looking for any piece of fabric that could serve as a believable defense. His gaze locked onto a username at the bottom of the channel.
"Hax," Infume blurted out. "I'm—dating Hax."
A collective, high-pitched gasp of static electricity rippled through the entire HBG closet.
"Hax?!" Poundy yelled. "Hackingnoises? The fluffy blue towel with the ridiculous red and green tassels? The one that lives in the UK closet and yaps non-stop? That Hax?"
"Yes!" Infume squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could fold himself into a microscopic square. "He... he's really nice. His fluffiness is very comforting. Don't make it weird."
Before the interrogation could escalate into a three-paragraph cross-examination by Feinberg, Infume abruptly disconnected from the voice call. He slumped flat onto the wire shelf, his grey-and-white cotton weave radiating intense heat from sheer embarrassment.
What did I just do? he thought, burying his face into his own folds. I just told the most analytical speedrunning towels in the world that I am in a relationship with a red and green-tasseled bath towel.
His phone vibrated against the shelf. Infume nervously nudged it open with a corner of his hem.
hax: infume ????
hax: poundy just dmed me asking if i prefer being washed on delicate or heavy duty because of "my boyfriend" ????
hax: infume what did you do 😭😭😭😭
Infume groaned, his threads unraveling a little more.
infume: hax please. i panicked. poundy was making me a tinder profile.
infume: i told them we're dating. please just play along for like two months
A tense, heavy silence hung over the text box. Infume held his breath, half-expecting Hax to completely reject the absurd proposition. But then, the typing bubble appeared.
hax: omg
hax: wait thats actually hilarious LOL
hax: okay fine but we need to optimize this bit. we need excellent logistics. if feinberg catches us slipping he'll literally inspect our fabric tags
infume: ok yes that makes sense
infume: oh my god thank you so much hax
hax: i need to go to bed though. wake up earlier so we can do this tomorrow
infume: alright hax. tysm again ill sleep earlier
hax: gn
infume: gn
Infume let out a long, ragged exhale, a strange, warm static filling his cotton core. This plan was undeniably stupid, but as Infume set his alarm for a 2:00 AM wake-up call to plan their relationship spreadsheet, he couldn't help but feel a little less frazzled.
Surely two inanimate pieces of bathroom linen wouldn't be foolish enough to catch actual feelings, right? RIGHT????
im going to kill myself. im goingt o jkillmyself
You are so fucking funny ajoifjijafisdjogfsdjiogjisdojgoisadf
RTF! RTF! RTF! RTF! RTF! RTF! RTF! RTF! RTF! RTF! RTF!
tsundere infume x kurodere hax bc its funny
Hiii Anon I had to look up what kurodere meant:
But yeah the idea of a guy who has a crush but will deny and not admit it x a guy who wants his crush to admit his feelings first and starts pulling of schemes to make him do so is really funny (wow it's almost like there is a comedy anime with a very similar premise to this)
Oh wait- hold on- I'm getting news that this post is being hijacked by my good friend @amberwaddle ! Waddles what do you have to say to the people?
hi hello… i swear im writing chapter 3 of frictionless i just got kind of bored of it because i've been working on it forever 😭😭 it's almost done though!! i'm trying my best to publish this week. it's kinda nice for my creative flow to work on other things too. the hand size comparison idea was by my good buddy @naclyyy. i guess this doesn't fully encapsulate the original ask?? and it makes a little less sense out of context but i do plan on turning this into a 5+1 when i finish ch3…
anyway, who cares about any of that. here's the actual drabble:
hax is a pickme pass it on
Infume sent a waga in Hax's chat today
:waga:
That wasn't the only thing that happened
🎁
IN PROGRESS...
if you receive this, you make somebody happy! (If you want to) go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up.If you get one back, even better! (*´ω`*)
Why does it have to be anon?
Sometimes I will still think about S9 Playoffs and what could've been. Imagine the grand finals rematch after they both get rank #1 for that season. Even yaoi aside that would have been crazy aura
God fuck, back-to-back finalists after tying for rank 1 would have been the most insane shit ever, it would've gone down in history, and we were so close to getting it... surely we get haxfume finale rematch in the la-
i know you really wanted a growling infume so here he is :)
ft your recent villain hax design
OMGOMGOMOGOMGOMFG OMFG SBDJDSSSD DUUUUUUUUUDE THIS IS SOOOOO PEAK
I love this i love this i love this i love the poses i love the expressions i love the villain hax design ughhh i love this so muchhh!!
(Also for the record i have never said i wanted a growling infume, that is a LIE)
does anyone wannna hear my haxfume canon divergent au. Yes? ok
It's the 29th of August, 12 hours before Season 11 ends. Hackingnoises is on the ranked instance, keyboard noises hacking away as he queues Nerdi.
Nerdi screams in agony as Hax sub-4s on him.
12 hours later, the number 1 name on the leaderboard reads:
1 🇭🇰 hackingnoises 3000
6 days later, lcq starts.
After 10 grueling seeds, Hackingnoises sets the newest LCQ point record of a jaw-dropping 248 points, making him the 12th seed.
Nerdi and Couriway drags Doogile in the booth, after Edcr picked Danny, the 16th seed.
"I pick Hax. I want to give him a hard bracket." Doog smiles at his handcam-turned-facecam, and aura-leaves the call, immediately booting up Geometry dash and beating Society by Neomarbilan.
Hax complains that his bracket has always been hard.
Couriway and Nerdi gasps, awed by the aura.
First weekend of playoffs Season 11 comes, and the Doogile and Hax match starts as the 4th and last match of the first day.
It's 2-0. Hax gets nervous. But then Lowkey types in Hax's stream chat: ☑️ lowkey: don't get nervous
Hax reverse sweeps Doogile. 3-2.
Semifinals. It's time to face Lowkey.
Like his game against Doogile, Lowkey is up 2-0.
Hax looks at his stream chat. ☑️ infume: lock in chud
Hax wins. 3-2.
Quarterfinals. His next opponent? Silverrruns.
Reminiscent of his Ro16 in Season 10, he's down 2-0.
He has 5 blaze rods; Silverr is ahead. He makes the decision: Hax sends the 2 eye.
It pays off.
Feinberg drafts out an essay to complain in the ranked discord.
Never punished. 3-2.
Grand Finals. It's against Infume; It's always against Infume.
He's down 3-0.
The Infume and Hackingnoisess chat are spamming weneedtolockin.
"Hax is full clear." Fulham mid-match analyses.
It turns into a game 7.
Hax and Infume blind into the portal room.
It's a hard zero. Infume hits a 2 + 3. And Hax?
Hax hits a flawless 2 + 2.
The dragon flies down…
And Hackingnoises is crowned as the Playoffs winner of Season 11. 4-3.
He's dragged into the booth with Couriway and Rosebeams.
But wait… there's 4 of them in call?
"Infume, you're not supposed to be here." Couriway tries to drag him out of the call.
"Wait!" Infume screams. "Hax, I'm in love with you and your speedrunning. Ever since you beat me in Season 8."
"Infume, I…" Hax hesitates, turning on his facecam in the call, with Infume turning on his as well.
"We're still Live, by the way." Rosebeams says.
"Infume, I love you too." Haxfume kisses through discord, like Silverreign had.
Couriway and Rosebeams smile.
The chat spams homoresexual.
Lowkey sends a thumbs down emoji next to a pride flag in chat.
Doogile has moved on from Geometry dash to Osu!.
Dandannyboy won over Edcr in Ro16.
Mustard is already making an album for Season 12.
Draftout is down again.
Mongey is streaming RSG.
Hax and Infume get married.
END.
DSLDHSG8DHDVXIZNZKZKSH Anon... this is incredible, wow
My favourite parts are haxfume doing a silverrreign style kiss, homophobic lowkey and dannyboy W
Also ☝this doesnt have to be canon divergence, for all we know this might actually end up happening
yo im