Deadpool x GN! Reader silly romantic headcanons! 😝
For the FREAKS🫵
His little wade is rising like jesus before my very eyes
(Note, after this I'll drop some specifically male reader ones bc gay marvel fans get no crumbs on tumblr, but for now its GN because people forget hes pansexual💔 I also may write more for him in general bc its also like a gift for my deadpool loving bestfriend)
Warnings: suggestive topics bc...its freakpool..
His ass is so fat, so you NEED to give it a slap daily to let him know you love him
VERY touchy I fear, hes over the top 😔 climbing into your arms, boobing your nose, and dragging his finger down your chest
He would take "im gonna touch you...😈" as a compliment and be genuinely so excited
Needs your attention 24/7, so he'll start doing things like twerking in front of you if you're not paying attention to him
that or..again..he'll just be very touchy and say shit like, "pweaaase? I've been a good boy🥺" WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM💔
He would give you a lap dance.. stripper outfit, cunty music playing and everything. Wade, please im so fucking scared.
"Oh thats hot..😝" He gets horny from everything you do 💔 He's that one guy who can make a sex joke from ANYTHING. I don't know WHAT he isn't into..
His reaction to you flirting with him making the first move is making YOU seem like the pervert just to be a little BITCH. Stfu Wade, we all literally see your little wade resurrecting😭✌️
If you two are fighting, he sits outside the bedroom door and makes desperate bargains. "PleeAAASE? I'll wear the sexy maid costume.." when all else fails, "okay..can I still jerk off outside the door??"
Only of its like..a minor argument because I feel like he knows when to be serious if your relationship is genuinely on the line.
Getting to dance with him if thats your thing, and he has the cuntiest moves in all herstory😭
THIS IS LITERALLY HIM
He's so sassy, so hes READY to defend you if anyone talks bad about you. Or he'll just chop their head off and go "OOOOOPSIEEESS🥰💕🩷🌸🌷🎀🍥🍰"
He is like..never normal, so at least you won't ever get bored! Even though you're trying to get your order at the fast food joint and hes playing in the children's play area
Dates are anything you'd like them to be. You know where he got the money from...
Anyways, while Wade isn't flexible in PERSONALITY..he can be flexible in different settings (and yes that too what you're thinking, PERVERT)
He can take you out to eat nice if you'd like, but he'll still be making inappropriate jokes and being his weird little self
He can take you out to watch a movie, but he doesn't shut up during movies and won't latch away from you. He's literally seen HORRORS and been through them, but since hes dramatic...he'll still be asking you to hold him because hes "scared". He also probably cries during love movies...so..maybe don't choose a public movie theatre
He can take you to a museum, BUT... he wont stop trying to touch everything
So, choose wisely
When you do anything nice for him, he immediately makes himself seem "desirable' like not so jokingly shaking his ass slowly and getting into the full bottom fantasy. CALM DOWN FREAK😭
Assure him that you'll be tapping that even with his scars. He'd appreciate that very much. Tell him to wrap himself up in a pretty bow 😝
MORE TOUCHY TOUCHY because he loves to snuggle. HES the little spoon. Snug as a bug, who does he think he is?
Your biggest cheerleader! Literally..he shows up to your big events wearing a cheerleader outfit and holding pompoms and has a big sign
I wouldn't trust him to like..take care of your plants or home while you're out. Trust me.. have you seen his apartment.. he would drown your plants..and your pet would be FAT
Sloppy kisser (he calls it being a passionate lover) 😔 he tries to make out with you 24/7 so..I hope you like tongue! 😝
Literally almost any trope works with him because hes just that much of a freak.. enemies to lovers? Yeah, hes getting turned in by a weapon hurting him
Pining x oblivious? He will keep flirting until the end the time
Opposites attract? YES! He'll tease you lovingly
He drags you into stupid things, but nothing too extreme that could end your life because he genuinely needs you in his life. I msan..unless you have some sort of immortality power or you can REALLY handle yourself then you're not safe at all. Otherwise you're just finding yourself in things that range from a children's my little pony play to..only scenarios deadpool would be in. Ifykyk
He breaks the 4th wall anyways so..anything is possible. When he talks to you, he has sparkles and anime-ish flowers around him and heart eyes because I said SO,
Speaking of anime, he makes that weird ass anime girl whimper noise when you touch him sometimes
What's a good way to end this..
He kisses up on a blow up sex doll in front of you and sweet talks it whenever hes being petty (you didn't give him enough attention)
Multiple people have attempted to reach out to you on a multitude of platforms, not just Twitter. You've unadded Plant on Twitter, changed your discord layout recently, AND ignored Plants friend request.
You're not as offline as you claim to be, you've just been trying to hide it. You can project and call people childish but the MATURE thing to do in a situation like this is to reach out, and no one has infinite patience. Especially when dealing with someone who basically stole money from a friend. It's insanely immature to treat a situation like this in the way you have. This is pathetic. Be better man.
Also idk why you keep calling one of plants buds a predator when you've been kicked out of a fnf theme'd discord over sending suggestive art when minors were present, as well as financial supporting and commissioning a proshipper artist with Captain John Tankman noncon art.
Despite saying you tried to fix it, you removes any ability Plant had of reaching out to you by restricting nearly all of your content and socials @obsessivemoss
Your banner is such a cool idea did you come up with it yourself or were you inspired by someone? I almost want to do it myself... The little icon headpat, so cute 😭
yessir i came up with it myself! originally for twitter but i adjusted it to fit here, too :)
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