This idea brought my little spark back to writing after a very loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.
For convenience, Yuu and Malleus will be both women. Because that's what I want.
Messy, not edited. Not consistently.
Malleus sees the changes in Yu with each new overblot.
"Calm down in emergency situations. Strong nerves"
The blind.
The fools.
This is the only survival mode that Yu knows. With the first breath that filled her lungs with smoke and the smell of burning as soon as she appeared in this world.
Force your mind to calm your thoughts, act so that you can survive and your loved ones remain safe and sound.
Hide your fears and nightmares as deeply as possible from others. It is not necessary for others to see the cracks when there are literally only fragments left of it.
After the incident with Azul, Malleus sees her hands tremble slightly. Her constant apprehension with which she turns to the dormitory building at night. As if someone should catch up with her, someone should drag her to such depths where neither the sun, nor oxygen, nor anything alive penetrates.
After some time, Yuu calms down next to Malleus.
For Malleus, this is a time of solace, of peace from the "legacy of the family." Finally, fill your empty cup with the sweet wine of communication and curiosity about others. It's the intoxication of knowing that people are listening to her not out of fear, not out of self-serving goals. And out of the ordinary feeling of friendship, something precious, any rough stone resting and sleeping peacefully in the bowels of the earth.
For Yuu, it's a feeling of absolute security and peacetime. No assessment of her abilities, her knowledge, her thoughts, her experience. It is a soft enveloping feeling that you are being heard, your timid soft whisper in the night is being listened to with close attention. And not to use every painful sigh against her. This is a sweet curiosity of the night guests, such a stupefying feeling from simple conversations. Yes, they can switch to philosophy, they can talk about something extremely stupid and meaningless, and for this you don't have to keep "the right bar to survive in this place" all the time
Their secret walks late at night from all prying eyes and gazes are a blatant indecent violation of curfew every time. It's unwelcome that time passed so quickly and both had to part ways. To pull the boundless weight of his burden of Atlanta with heaven back on his shoulders.
Leave their idyll, their conversations, their whispers with secrets filled with their hearts.
This is something that each of them cherished. This is something that they do not share with others, without fear that someone will want to take it away or destroy it.
It was just their precious thing. Not perfect, not polished, not uniform, but so meaningful.
Malleus thought their jewel would last for a while longer. Those very few minutes, moments in her life. Greed has finally raised its head, clinging tightly to this desire to stop time for at least another second.
A desire not yet voiced by her heart, but a fleeting echo somewhere very far from her acute hearing.
The first impetus was STYX's attack.
Looking at the destruction from the inside, Draconia couldn't ask herself.
If her cup was constantly filled with sweet wine, a drink that she would never get tired of and she could drink it to the very bottom…
then why….
was Yuu's cup only filled with poison?
How scary it must be for a girl who doesn't have magic to see that her efforts last for months of her precious life…destroyed in less than a day.
Malleus remembers how Yu proudly showed each repaired and glazed window.
She asked for advice on how to save the gargoyles that had survived the onslaught of time.
How a small spark of life lit up that her home was finally finding safety.
The safety that her wounded heart craves.
This was the first time this had happened.
The poison that filled Yuu's cup ended up in Malleus' cup of wine.
It was one of the most bitter and terrible tastes, scratching her throat and lungs, sinking lower and settling somewhere in my stomach. Spreading twisting vines with thorns that greedily devoured and entangled every inch.
Malleus didn't know if Yuu would be able to return.
Was it their last conversation at the stadium?
In her long, suffocating life, there had never been a time when the cup was filled. And when suddenly the sweet taste expired and was replaced by disgusting bitterness, Malleus did not know what kind of feeling it was inside. The moment of sweetness was too short, she just didn't have time to enjoy it to the fullest.
Is it the bitterness of parting? Is it fear for someone who won't come back? What was it inside that tormented her so much?
Regrets about the whispers on her tongue that Yu could settle in Diasomnia if she just asked for it out loud?
That she doesn't have to be brave and brave?
That her efforts are enough? Their "jewel" had become so important in Draconia's life, and she hadn't even had time to think about it. To say it out loud that this is not a dream.
The echo of her thoughts began to speak louder in her head.
Malleus had destroyed their jewel, their quiet abode of silence and companionship…with her own ink-soaked hands.
She clearly remembers the look of horror on her face when she appeared at the end of the farewell.
That pained expression on her face, as if every previous overblot incident had taken a bite out of her life and devoured her soul.
This fear…the one that Malleus didn't want to see on her face. Even when her name was voiced.
The name that the others were so afraid of did not capture this tired and exhausted heart.
She poured that fear into the cup herself. By force. Cruelly. Without edges and regrets.
Draconia saw this fear every time they met in her dream realm.
This trembling in her hands was not caused by others, but by herself.
She had finally become the monster that everyone had been waiting for and dreading. They whispered and enveloped her in words more scorching than all the flames in your chest.
Even in the form of a monster consuming everything in flames, she remembers those screams. She remembers how a fragile and brave soul tried to reach them.
To stop even a little bit of what they both knew.
When Malleus finally realized the gravity of her actions, it was too late.
She was locked up in STYX for a while, her mind told her that it was the right thing to do. After what happened, no one in their right mind would associate with a monster. Even knowing that now it is no more dangerous than a speck of dust floating peacefully in the air.
Not knowing what was more painful. Body pain from overblotting and exhausting battle. Or the pain of her heart, knowing that Yuu couldn't be safe with her anymore.
Malleus realized with horror that Yuu didn't need her protection as the most powerful mage in the world. It's about a friend. A friend who accepted her completely, who had no intention of harming her in any way.
That night, Lilia saw Malleus truly grieving. Grieving like a living soul for the lost. She mourns what was so tenderly and delicately cultivated, cruelly and senselessly buried alive.
Yuu gave her so much without asking for anything in return.
Only sincerity…just honesty. Just be yourself. Her friend, her attentive and sensitive heart.
Idia, seeing Malleus' condition, gave her a few days to just release all the tears that were choking her. They flooded her bottomless grief. These tears had been waiting for her for centuries in her loneliness.
The loneliness that finally stopped cursing her tender heart.
And which came back because of her own actions.
The party was the easiest start for Malleus. Sincerity and honesty, no lies and falsehoods. Why the mask of a smile if you apologize in the hope that the curses will not be replenished this evening?
But the scariest and most difficult thing was to even take a breath to resolve.
For the courage to approach… Yuu.
It was as if her close friends had put up shields against all Malleus' attempts.
And without words, it was clear that Draconia wanted to talk, but did Yuu want this?
The poison that Yuu was drinking now filled Malleus' cup.
Why did she even think she could talk to her again?Even to admit the very thought that she has a chance to apologize?
-I'm begging you…
A soft whisper sounded from trembling lips that had never known shyness or timidity in front of anyone. The voice that had always been firm and confident became so hesitant.
But her wounded heart kept her pride under its feet. If there's even the slightest chance, even a slim one. Malleus will take this tiny spark and protect it with all his soul.
All that reaches her ears is a gasp. Of course she's afraid…
Her familiar gentle hands are covered with ink from a pen from constant study to "catch up" with others, calluses from constant repairs and cleaning of her community.
They were trembling, afraid, and seemed as fragile as the pollen on the wings of butterflies.
So tiny in her own hands.
-Tsunotaro…Please…
in front of a non-magical girl, far from all prying eyes, only under the cover of the night and the moon, the princess was kneeling in front of her. Pride is tightly locked and silent.
Her heart and soul are whispering longingly about the return of the jewel that was lost through her own fault.
-I'm only begging you for forgiveness, I know that I'm not even worthy of your heartbeat next to me…After what I've done to you…with your gift for me..Your fear of me is completely justified…But I'm begging you…
Her eyes were hissing so disgustingly, and Malleus felt that her always perfect image had been destroyed. Even more so than when she lost everything. And Lilia and Yuu.
-Please…you ...y-you d-don't need to…kneeling…
the girl's voice is soft, full of delicacy and tenderness. It was like treating a wounded animal that had injured her by accident.
Malleus' already exhausted heart could barely stand Yuu's kindness. It would have been better if she had screamed, cursed like the others, scolded her and insulted her. Took out all her anger, fear, and frustration on her.
Kindness was a crueler weapon in her hands.
-Please forgive me, Yuu…
Malleus just repeated weakly for the umpteenth time out of despair. How to regain lost trust? How could her turn her heart out to her and show her his heart in order to at least earn the little that Malleus had before?
Being sincere and honest was all she knew Yuu would ask.
— I….I understand why you did that. I understand your grief, your despair.. but…
The raised sword that broke her horn earlier is now aiming at her heart.
And this time Malleus doesn't want to defend himself anymore.
-I can't…I can't... just… you...Will you give me time?For both of us? To…Start all over again?
-As much as you ask, my love.
She knows that she doesn't deserve her petition, she knows that her greed has no limits.
But the seven….her heart..her heart is so hungry for this love.
And only timid kisses showered barely touching the skin of Yuu's soft warm fingers were worthy consolation for the very beginning of her redemption.
