K. so, update: Sean is not a thing and that’s kind of a big relief, I wasn’t that interested anyway, BECAUSE there is someone far more interesting and attractive, his name is Jay.
See, Jay is from California, but goes to school in Oregon and I met him at an event that our fraternity was having back in January. He’s super cool, super chill, and I started talking to him just by chance, right. At the time, I thought he was pretty cute, I just didn’t say anything because I was just getting to know him and didn’t know whether or not he was available, ya know. Fair, like, leave that shit alone if you don’t know what’s going on and are too afraid to ask.
Now, about 3 weeks ago, my chapter of our fraternity hosted a weekend-long event, and Jay and a lot of people from his chapter ended up driving out here, and I hadn’t seen any of these people since January, so naturally, I’m excited as FUCK to see them. But then, when I get to Jay, his whole face lit up and he was like “OMG, I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU” and gave me a big hug, lol it was great. So, I hung out with him and other friends for most of the weekend, and we would go walk around town and all that good stuff.
Then, one night, the Saturday of that weekend, we had to get ready for an event that we had to be dressed up for, so we go back to a friend’s place and I go into the bathroom to change while Jay is changing, then I throw on my heels and we walk to where we need to go because it isn’t very far. There was one point on this walk that there was uneven ground and being the dumbshit I am, I came to the conclusion that I do not have the full skillset needed to walk on uneven surfaces in heels or in general. So, I go “Hey, Jay, can I like borrow your hand just until we get to an even sidewalk? Like imma fall the fuck over and break something”, and he’s like “oh, sure” and he held my hand until I could fucking walk on my own. See, now this is just a small thing on the list of small things that happened while he was here, including what happened on the day everyone left.
My good friend and I met up with Jay and his friends at a coffee shop and they were going to head home from there, so as they were getting ready to leave, I gave everyone hugs, and made sure that I saved Jay for last, and then he gave me like a weird side hug, but his hand was on my waist, which I didn’t mind. Then we stood there a second, his hand still on my waist and he asked if I was going to the next fraternity event in California, I said hell yeah I am! and then he was like, “great, I’ll see you there”. Like. That seems small and insignificant until I fast-forward to this past weekend!Â
We’ve been snapchatting everyday since he left pretty much, and on Saturday last weekend, I went to a friend’s birthday party and ended up mildly drunk; so i ended up snapping Jay and telling him that I missed him and our friends that I don’t see everyday, and his response?
“Hell, I miss you too, like a lot” and I was like BISH WHAT? BISH WHOOO? OHMYGOD and we went back and forth with “i miss you’s” and “i’m drunk/oh shit, me too!” for a bit and then i pointed out that he does this thing where he won’t use his front facing camera when he snaps me, so basically it’s always a picture of whatever room he’s in, and i asked why he does that.
His immediate response was “i’m ugly” and that was like a slap in the face. So i reply UH NO, SHUT UP, and then went on to tell him that I think he’s incredibly attractive and he goes, “thank you, and for the record, I think you’re fucking attractive too” and i lost my shit, because it never occurs to me that people -- especially those that i’m attracted to -- think that of me! like yeah, i can imagine it, but it’s almost never a reality because 8 times out of 10, NO ONE says anything.
but there i am, drunk and swooning over Jay like OMGGGG HE THINKS IM ATTRACTIVE, WHAAAAAAT
and we’ve been talking more and more and i really can’t wait to see him. like time feels like it’s going by so slowly, i can’t even believe it, next friday needs to come faster so i can see my boyyyyy
Jay also made a point to say (this was just last week) “we should definitely hang out while we’re in fresno” and my response was “well why wouldn’t we??” and he’s like “true lol”Â
yo, i’m fuckin excited for this trip, hell yeah
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