Brain Spew, Brain Stew, or Just Plain BS

Snippets of thought, some strung together, most are not.

[englishendsbs]

You are Not as Ignorant as You'd Like to Think

Our bodies were not made to coexist with two opposing nature's living inside.

A violent and devouring lion lying in the quiet.

A lamb out in the open, peaceful and kind easily taken in the night.

If we could stop trying to be God and know that we are not enough.

We could let someone else make the call that is right.

And then maybe we'd learn something this time.

You know your soul knows more than it should and it will always be too smart for its own good.

But the good that we learned in word, we hid it down in our hearts and then we left it there to dust.

Buried by everything else we brought in from our lust.

[englishendsbs]

Doesn't it bother you that you are surrounded by things that are dead?

Doesn't it bother you that you aren't?

Ellie Rosecroft

[englishendsbs]

Sideways and Twisted

Sideways and twisted

Light enough to fly

But Heavy enough to one side

That my cranial nerves can smash and collide

Into the pavement

This is where I find myself

The moment before I tip too far to one side

Uncontrolled and staggering

Trying to keep it all just vertical

I wish I could shift it but my hands are tied

My feet move over from under my head in a nose dive

This is my tipping point

Heavy enough for falling

I'd protect my head but alas my hands are tied

Blinking and wheezing

Moments are freezing

Enchanted with the feeling of gravel and my cheek meeting

I think I may have already died

Incandescent bulbs flicker like candles at night

The flashes are slowed and harsh strike

Standing dancing in a zeotrope

I am not cartoon, as it seems I may have already died

Unmoving but spirited

As still as elation could be

Smiling like the dopamine jar was broken in two the second I hit the ground

I wonder how this could feel alive

It moves sideways and twisted

Parallel to the ground that I lie

This was my plight, this was my fight

Taken down by my mind to remember that it could feel alive

[englishendsbs]

The Captive

I find myself noticing the usually ignored places

The empty space where the hole between my ribcage is

It's where lonely lives

Clenching like a fist

Punching into the space

Angry at it's own existence

Lashing out at it's own void

It's the place, the place that I try to fill

With all of my might I try to feel anything but this

It's manic and aggressive, crazy and mostly depressive

It makes me feel suggestive

Like a fill in the blank over run by Google

And it's never ending search for others answers

But what about my own.

My own questions.

What even are my questions.

Leading out these verses just like sentences.

It's restless.

A hunger that's eating me from the inside

Just wanting more.

Always wanting more. Digging it's own hole.

And I say no. No.

I will subject you to the knowledge of what I have

And side by side you will not measure up

Despite the inability to stop the vandal

They will be taken captive for what they have done

And I will say no.

What I am will have to be enough.

[englishendsbs]

Sherlock at A Wedding

I am Sherlock at a wedding

I've tried to kill me but I wouldnt let me die

My face won't bruise

My ribs won't break

My wrist won't twist in the wrong way

My knuckles don't bleed

When metal they meet.

I am Sherlock at a wedding

And I try to kill me.

It must seem better fitting a torture to keep me alive.

I call death and no one answers

As if my number had been blocked.

When the worst is to come you come to wish it would already.

You know that either way, you leave the reception alone.

[englishendsbs]

I'll Step Aside

I'll step aside

I try to remember what it is I glorify

Remember that I've been set aside

That I'm only useful if I'm alive

You've told me I could but I've forgotten how to fly

Always watching the sky

Staring up at the night

Wondering whether to die

To a Neverland plight

To you it'll just be more quiet

I've been told to just decide

Am I satisfied?

Not to keep you hanging by-

The thread of my words trying

To make sure you won't say good bye

Before I do, I'll say goodnight

I never wanted to become the villain in your story

So I'll remove myself from the narrative

to preserve what is left of our former glory

And resolve to absolve myself rather

Than carry this torch as I were worthy

In vain the glory, gorey, bitter end

I'll step aside,

close to edge

I'll walk off it for you.

And all you'll know is that ive elected to give you the space you asked for.

[englishendsbs]

So it begins. Chapter 1.

All credit and creative property goes to Twenty One Pilots, Tyler Joseph's incredible vision and the amazing talent they have on their team. For web release only, mobile hasn’t been worked out yet.

[englishendsbs]

Phase One is coming today. I don’t really know where I’m going but I know where I want to be, and maybe with some help I could hear my way around. Keep your eyes unsmeared and your ears on loan. It’s coming. Follow to keep up.  

[englishendsbs]

It’s coming. When you fall, do you know where you fall?

[englishendsbs]

I've come here from the flower from the ac show! I've told everyone about the message to let them know about it.

Awesome!!! I'm so glad someone finally found it!! There will be more to follow on the site soon. There have been some.... technical hold ups.

[englishendsbs]

One time I made a snow car and loaded it with flammables. This also not the big update. I still don't think anyone has made it here.

[englishendsbs]

Things are often more than what they seem. Are you still sleeping AC? Think.

[englishendsbs]

Also the time I made our monkey, Carlisle, dance to My Blood.

[englishendsbs]

Throw back to when I made my work cheetah sing Pet Cheetah. No one has noticed yet.

[englishendsbs]

Time to Wake Up

Good morning AC. It has begun. Be on the lookout. Never know what you'll find.

[englishendsbs]

Title: We Know.

We happens when it’s over? We can’t stay in the trenches forever. We know we can’t go back no matter how many times the bishops try to drag us back. Someday we must return home. 

This has always been the plan. 

With the Banditos leading the way back we may just get there. Dema in the distance, the trenches a long span to hopefully never be traversed again, we find ourselves home, and the entrance back forever more to be guarded by the Banditos. Warding us off, not letting us forget. 

Art created from a photo from my last trip to Columbus, Ohio during The Tour De Columbus for the Basement hometown show. (Catch me in the Sleepers video) The Central Station arch in the arena district, not far from the Basement. 

[englishends-blog]

“Some truths are too hard to swallow And even if you did they’d be even harder to stomach Yet you keep biting off more than you can chew”

— Rosecroft