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All the Jack Zimmermann Headcanons No One Asked For

Jack listens to music like a moron. He loves singles but he can’t be bothered to remember any of the artists. He has never sat through an entire album in one sitting.

Jack is hella bisexual.

Jack struggles with his bisexuality.

Like, he can’t always figure out if he’s attracted to someone or jealous. And liking men is inconvenient for his career so he leans towards jealousy as a rule, and he comes off as a total asshole.

If you think Jack is stiff and robotic now, imagine how bad he was before he lived with Shitty.

It took some trial and error for Jack to get on an anxiety med that worked for him, and the growing pains are well documented on Shitty’s blog.

Because Jack doesn’t talk much about how he’s feeling, but Shitty could kind of guess based on his bizarre behavior. Like the time Jack did half a semester of homework in one sitting because he could actually focus on it. Or the time he talked exclusively in French at minimal volume, because the inside of his head was too quiet. Or the time his meds messed up his time sense so he set alarms on his phone for everything, including timers so he wouldn’t spend four hours brushing his teeth.

Jack has actually said the words “I don’t think you realize how much I like hockey,” in that order.

Jack is aggressively Canadian for the entire first week of July.

One time, while they were chilling on the roof, Shitty asked him what his deepest fear was. “Moose,” Jack told him without hesitation.

“Really? Because I thought failure would really mess you up. Or, like, a bad knee injury. Something like that.”

“Moose,” Jack said, voice soft with horror. “Their eyes don’t reflect light, Shitty. They haven’t bothered evolving since the Paleolithic era because they don’t need to. They have reached their final form.”

“Jack you’re freaking me out.”

“They can tear through cars like tissue paper.”

“Okay. So. Subject change…”

Jack will swear up and down that he’s a Slytherin, but every online quiz he takes sorts him into Hufflepuff.

(When he finds out Bitty keeps getting sorted into Slytherin Jack actually has to leave the Haus for an hour before he’s fit for company again.)

Jack will seriously tell people that not everything has to be a competition, and then he’ll make everything a competition. So far, he has won Christmas, three birthdays, a prank war and several grocery trips.

monzicah-deactivated20220129

let me tell you something I have discovered and cannot stop thinking about: Jack probably makes a conscious effort to call Eric “Bittle” instead of “Bitty”

Keep reading

academicssay

Active voice: I loved your book

Passive voice: Your book was loved

Passive-aggressive voice: I love how you felt the need to write a book

pawspaintsnthings

“Bitty.”

The Couch and Puck make a reappearance. :)

The Comic

noelacciari

The One Where Jack Collects Cats

Happy (Belated) Birthday @50-points-for-ravenclaw!!! This is pretty silly but well, I obviously can’t write anything else.

“Hey honey.”

Jack can’t help but smile at the sound of Bitty’s voice and the sight of his smiling face, even though his heart aches to reach through the computer screen and touch him. This is enough though, for now, and he can just imagine the feel of flushed skin beneath his palms, soft hair and lithe muscles.

“Hey, how was your day?”

“Oh,” Bitty sighs, and Jack can see the heaviness to his eyes that means he needs sleep. It’s midterms, and if Jack wasn’t so selfish, he’d insist that Bitty get some rest or study instead of spending an hour talking to him. But god, he needs this. “It was long, you know, we had practice this morning - Ransom seems to have decided that good captains force us to practice at ungodly hours of the morning.” Jack smirks in the face of Bitty’s glare, pleased when his skin starts to light up a bit. “And then, oh lord, I can’t believe I forgot about this! Nursey was singing to Dex in the showers, I wasn’t really paying attention to be quite honest, and then Chowder starting yelling and came running out of there, the poor child’s face was so red, he couldn’t even string a sentence together, but when me and Holster ran back there everything seemed to be normal. Dex was bright red, but well now, that one is always blushing about something, and Nursey was just doing his usual thing. I don’t know what’s going on with those boys but I am really starting to get sick of this tension.”

“Dex has a crush on Nurse,” Jack says, freezing when he catches movement out of the corner of his eye. Uh oh. Act natural Zimmermann.

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pawspaintsnthings

Pie’s (headcanon) official! :D

Read Ngozi’s comic here

ittybittybakes

It makes sense that Jack would be good at coloring, now that I think about. Coloring has been proven to help reduce stress and anxiety.

ittybittybakes

I feel bad. I am seeing a lot of reblogs saying this post is making people sad. Jack’s anxiety is a bummer and it makes me super sad to know that my son suffers. But the coloring thing is actually really cool. As someone who suffers from anxiety, coloring is one of the few things that can calm me down quickly. The other thing that helps me in the same way is (drumroll) baking (who’da thunk?!) It’s also really nice when I have someone to sit and color with me. So picture this….

Jack has a drawer in his apartment loaded with colored pencils, crayons, markers, construction paper and a ton of coloring books (including this one and this one) When Bitty is home and notices Jack getting anxious, he will wordless go over and pull out all the coloring supplies. Bitty will sit with Jack, quietly coloring, occasionally rubbing his back and bringing him glasses of water, for as long as it takes. When Jack has calmed down enough that he feels stable again, they will share their creations with each other.

Bitty has a drawer, in his room at The Haus, (and then one in Prov. when he moves in) where he keeps all the coloring pages and drawings Jack has given him. What Bitty doesn’t know is Jack has a similar drawer fulled with all the pictures Bitty colored while he sat there with him, quietly waiting out Jack panic/anxiety attack.

Bitty: [sends Jack a photo of Chowder's room]

Bitty: Sooo completely hypothetically would it be cute or creepy if I had this much Falcs stuff...

trashedtroubadour

Headcanon that Bitty can’t speak French for shit, but when he meets Jack’s new teammate he spits out the most beautiful goddamm Russian and Jack is just sitting there like “??????”

thesixthstar

because Jack fucking forgot (or somehow Bitty didnt mention) Bitty’s years of training with a Russian figure skater. He so would have picked up at least some Russian from Katya (probably not all Nice Things. Jacks team mates think Bitty learned Nice School Learned Russian and then he breaks out the swearing and even they do a bit of a double take bc its this tiny lil southern dude spouting it)

tdkeh

Omg i didn’t even think about Bitty’s old figure skating coach being Russian. He would definitely pick up a few words lol

jenroses

oh my heavens. Of course he would learn Russian because she teaches better in Russian.

ao3feed-checkplease

God, Please Call Me Back

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/1QuxZqU

by favabean05

Jack Zimmermann wakes from a nightmare, deep in the grips of an anxiety attack. The only thing that can bring him out of it lives a hour away.

Words: 1933, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Check Please! (Webcomic)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Eric Bittle, Jack Zimmermann

Relationships: Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann

Additional Tags: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bad Dreams, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, Canon Compliant, zimbits - Freeform

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/1QuxZqU

thehausghosts

Now that he’s spent a few weeks at Jack’s apartment, Bittle is learning that living with Jack is a lot like living with a cat.

He has to be in whichever room Bitty is in. Even if they aren’t talking, just peacefully doing their own work, Jack makes a point of being in Bittle’s peripheral vision all the time.

Unlike a cat, Jack will actually wait until Bittle is done his video editing before joining him on the couch or wherever and getting right in his personal space. Mostly he rests his head on Bitty’s lap and smiles happily when Bitty absently starts petting his hair, eyes still glued to his phone.

Very picky eater. Does not respond well to changed foods.

“I’m out of protein powder.” “Jack I just bought some yesterday, you’re looking right at it.” “No this isn’t…. it can’t be this.”

When he’s in a bad mood he dodges physical affection. After a frustrating pre-season game he slept on the couch which kind of sucked for bittle, who thought he’d done something wrong.

Is up at 530 most mornings and usually wakes Bittle up with him.

“Do you have to move around on the bed so much when you wake up?” “Sorry bits. Hey since you’re up wanna go for a run with me?”

hedaoftheworld

Ok so it’s the classic story of a young maiden wants a thing and a witch is like “promise me your first born child” and the maidens like “k” and that should be enough but no the witch keeps coming around like “yo where’s my first born child pls” and the maiden is like “bitch I don’t even have a boyfriend” and the witch keeps coming back and being like “how’s the bf search?” And just being generally annoying. then she just keeps coming round and hanging out and they fall in love and the first born child is already the witches and everyone lives happily ever after

minementis

I honestly can’t imagine Jack and Bitty’s relationship as anything but a slow burn?? I’ll be reading fic where they end up together really fast and I just ?? can’t imagine that ever happening and being true to their characters ??

Like it took these two a year to become good friends and then another year to develop mutual ~feelings~ and get together and idk (it might have something to do with the fact that I LOVE the headcanon that Jack is demisexual like nothing else)

aymmichurros

me: goes out with unshaved legs me: what the FUCK ever lmao somene: looks @ my legs me:

missmentelle

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA. At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job. At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer.

At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school. At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.

At age 28, Wayne Coyne ( from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook. At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter. At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker. At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs. Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51. Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40. Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40. Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career to pursue acting at age 42. Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first movie role until he was 46.

Morgan Freeman landed his first movie role at age 52. Kathryn Bigelow only reached international success when she made The Hurt Locker at age 57. Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until age 76. Louise Bourgeois didn’t become a famous artist until she was 78. Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21. Hell, it’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow. Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it.

Never tell yourself you missed your chance.

Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough.

You can do it. Whatever it is.