Am I the only one who liked this scene? Would I rather wanted to see a hug? Absolutely, but yet I found this scene realistic and I liked it.
The way Michonne enters the room while observing him, has brought me back to older Richonne moments.
It’s always the same sequence: Rick isolates himself lost in his reflections, Michonne joins him, he feels her presence, almost astonished to see her.
And each time the same thing: confession, confrontation, discussion, reassurance.
But this time, Rick stops her before she could say anything. Before she can tell she’s still with him…
Before she can say it’s not his fault when people die…
Before she can tell him that they can find a way together…
He knows that she will know what to say and that she will surely be right. And it’s not so much that he rejects her help that makes this scene heartbreaking but it’s mostly the fact that he doesn’t look at her. As if it could destroy his resolutions and force him to accept the death of his son. Because if he let her in, if he let her take care of him, she could knock down the last ramparts that prevent him from collapsing. Acceptance is not on the agenda, Rick feeds with anger and denial to move forward.
And it’s poignant to see Michonne look at the man she loves without knowing what to do or what to say. And she has already seen him sink, she has already seen him talk to his dead wife. She knows how far he could go. And Carl knew that too and that’s partly why he asked her to be strong for his father.
But he rejects her help and Michonne step back. She has the opportunity to leave him alone and she would have all the rights to do it: is it still necessary to say that she lost Carl too? But she chooses to stay. She chooses the difficult way, “ok I get it but you know what? I’m still with you, whether you want it or not”. And she helps him by being there even if he thinks that he doesn’t need it (or that he doesn’t deserve it).
And he is aware of what she is trying to do and that’s why he stops, sighs and finally tells her something. He does not seek her approval, he does not try to start a discussion … I think it’s just his way to thank her for being there with him: he can’t yet talk to her about his grief but he wants to show her that he is still here, that he can always talk to her about… something else.
And she listens without a word because there is not much to answer.
The only thing I missed in this episode is to see someone worry about Michonne (I feel like I repeating myself every week) but as heartbreaking and frustrating as it was, the scene was beautiful because I heard so many things:
- I’m worried about you, let me help you or at least take care of you
- I can not afford to take a break I have to do something, as futile as it is, I can not collapse now.
- I know what you’re trying to do but I will not give you up even if you think it’s what you deserve.
- Thank you for being here, I see you even if I don’t look at you.
Since they are together, they have always formed an indestructible block (and even before that). They share everything, they know each other perfectly. And even if it’s painful and sad, I like to see them evolve in a new register, see them hesitate not knowing how to apprehend the other. Right now, they are facing their greatest challenges as a couple.
Yet that doesn’t make me pessimistic about their future, I trust their story and their love for each other. It must be because of all the Richonne angst fanfic that I read. There is often this writer’s note when things become more complicated throughout the chapters: “Trust me, at the end of this journey, Richonne will win, I promise you”. I would not go so far as to say that I trust the authors of this show (I mean Carl is dead, right?) but this episode leaves me serene.
After all when they are near the graves, Rick is with Michonne right? Even if it’s for a few seconds (and even if it’s hard to see so much grief on their faces).
I trust them, they will find a way towards each other despite the sorrow and until then I’m still with them.
Gif from episode 8x13 by @awesomejustgotawesome
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