You thought things would be different. You thought the outcome would go another way or you thought life pivot in an alternate direction. You find yourself weighed down by the problems or situations of life itself, plus other’s problems. Instead of casting all of our burdens to God, we could tend to internalize what we feel and lead ourselves into a dark space and dark place where we have not faced the true problems in our own lives, but have distracted ourselves with the problems of others and giving more than you would ever receive in return.
When do I end this relationship?
When is it unfair and detrimental to my well being and advancement, holding on?
What does starting over even look like?
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”
Letting go is tough to do, sometimes the block button is hard to find. Most times it’s tough to revoke access from those who at one point in time, you truly valued, loved or admired but now life has changed your outlook..or even, growth and experience has changed your outlook. God through Christ Jesus gives us discernment, some call it intuition, but it’s a look under the veil that we may not have seen before. A sense of hyper-awareness that leads to us truly understanding what is happening not only within us but around us.
Ephesians 5:6–10 ~ “Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.”
The benefit of a doubt is giving others a green light to blast past your boundaries. Most times when we “let things slide” or give “a benefit of a doubt” towards a behavior that we know isn’t in alignment with where we are heading, it becomes detrimental to everyone involved. They may take your “kindness for weakness” and you may find yourself asking where did this go wrong. A lot of times it’s important to let go of considering others feelings and put yourself first. Saying what you feel and allowing others to adjust, if you address how you feel in a clear and concise manner, and you’re still met with a guilt trip or your ideas being altered and flipped back to you like a boomerang. You have to consider re-evaluating the relationship.
Letting go becomes detrimental when you lose yourself in the process of holding on to something or someone else.
Stayed in a toxic relationship, forgot who you were, your identity, your calling, your purpose. But was overly invested into saving someone else or making sure that the relationship worked because of the thought of starting over or even the idea of being alone.
Kept that job because that’s what your family always wanted you to do, but now you aren’t aligned with your calling/purpose for your life. The toxic management team doesn’t want you to grow or even worse they aim to keep you relegated to a box with minute influence over others.
Stayed in that friend group because you all group up together and traversed many journeys together. But they don’t want you to be better than them, or blaze your own trail or even constantly influence you to stay the same. Even if they don’t know their behavior is detrimentally affecting your life, even if the intentions aren’t negative...it’s still something that you have to escape and let go of.
All of these situations and scenarios are things where it’s tough to let go, why? Because of the fears of what they would say, would they assassinate my character? What are they going to think about me? They are going to say I changed..They are going to think that I’m different now...Never get caught up in the opinions of others but find joy, peace and solace in letting go.
Hebrews 12:1-2 ~ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Letting Go is hard to do but it’s not impossible, be sure to audit your life and your circle. Some are obsessed with the ease of access and the ability/lack of boundaries to be able to come in and out of your life. Sometimes you have to take the power back, sometimes conversation isn’t enough, most times Actions will speak louder than words.
If they remove themselves count it all joy, but if you have to take action don’t feel bad for revoking access.
Run your own race. Stay present, focused and trust in God.
-Enlightened Visionaries 🙏🏾🤞🏾
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