STOP FOLLOWING SUPERFICIAL CLASSIFICATIONS OF ENNEATYPES AND THEIR INSTINCTS
I'll start these with the Sexual Six since it's my type and, in my opinion, one of the worst examples of this.
Every Enneagram type is defined by a core passion that stems from their Triad Center's primary shared problem. The E6 is in the Head Triad, thus, like all Head Triad types, is characterized by anxiety. Sevens escape the anxiety outwards, Fives lean into it inwards, and Sixes are caught up in the middle. The passion of Fear is what rules over them the most, nothing feels certain to them and is subject to questioning in order to make it be more certain, and incur in less fear. It's funny how everyone considers Fives to be the resident academics and researchers of the Enneagram when Sixes can very well be their close partners in crime. Sixes are a mental, logical type.
In the same way, every instinct is characterized by focusing the personality on seeking one of three spheres of our lives. The Self-Preservation (SP) instinct seeks conservation of their personal sphere, the Social (SO) seeks adaptation of that sphere to external demands, and the Sexual (SX) seeks relations in that sphere.
So! What do we get when we apply the passion of Fear to the sphere of relations?
Well, according to some, it just means Sixes become these aggressive types, using intimidation and status symbols as a way of seeking security, basically making everyone else afraid of them so they themselves can feel like the fear isn't there. Okay. Where does this even come from??
This common understanding of the SX6, going as far as to getting the nicknames of "Strength/Beauty" and "Intimidation", is completely ridiculous. They miss the fundamental reason as to why people with these fixations would behave like this in favor of focusing on superficial characteristics that show up in some examples and do nothing but alienate people who would benefit so much from seeing themselves in what this type is really about! Think about that portrayal once more. Doesn't it sound much more focused in the security of the self?
That's not inherent to Sixes as many believe, that's just the sp insinct, conservation of the self, making sure the self is safe. Sixes are about Fear and constant surveyance in the service of certainty and safety, yes, but it gets applied to different spheres, not just to the self. This is why SP6 get portrayed as these meek little dudes who just don't want any trouble, when you're already applying the SP instinct to every portrayal of type 6, how are you supposed to differentiate the actual SP variant?
Fear, when seeking relations, makes us scared of not having relations. Or the relations that we want, or in the way that we want them. Doesn't matter, the point is that the focus is on relations, on others, on emotions, not the self and personal safety. The SX6 craves the intensity, romanticism and devotion that any other sx type would. Their fear of not being someone who could live up to the standards of others so they would want to have that with them is what rules over them. That is the primary focus.
What does an actual SX6 do then? Like all Sixes, they try and live by certain applied sets of rules, while simultaneously pushing back against them. This push-pull relationship with authority entities (unspoken rules like social conventions can still be an authority, even if more subtle) is what encapsulates the E6 experience. This gets applied to questions of "how must I be (compliant/dutiful Hornevian Triad) in order to be someone others want?". It's here that we arrive at the actual focus:
The SX6 is about Desirability
And not in a deceitful way, like Threes or Twos could possibly fall into. Sixes genuinely want to embody what characteristics and ways of life they see others deem desirable and worthy of admiration. This is how we get the current SX6 stereotypes: fitness influencers, jock bullies and the like. And those people could very well be behaving under SX6 motivations! Just not because strength and intimidation is the point, but desirability. It's not the need for being intimidating or strong that needs to be let go of.
What SX6 needs to let go of, in order to grow, is the need to abide by what they are so sure they have to follow in order to be desirable to others. Only then will they actually allow themselves to bloom on nothing but their own terms and actually be someone who attracts people to their side with their strength of character and courage. At their best, they might even have somewhat of a chivalrous air about them.
SO NO, NATE JACOBS IS NOT AN SX6, STOP LUMPING US IN WITH THE LIKES OF HIM
Thanks for coming to my ted talk, I will be dumping more about the Enneagram on here in the future byeeeeee
