#enneagram 6

[dolphyyyy]

Okay I lied being triple reactive is hell when will this all end

[funkymbtifiction]

One of the main aspects of Gut Types is that one of their main priorities involve their own boundaries and autonomy, and will be angry when they are violated. It makes sense because Gut Types are fixated on their own impulses and what they want to do, therefore are more inclined to feel anger and even be stubborn and defensive when they cannot follow those impulses and gut instincts.

I however, want to know how different is that from a more defensive 6. Another reason why I mistyped myself as a 9 because not only anger is an emotion I have a bit more of a fixation on, but also I prioritize what I want to do a lot and can get annoyed if either I feel disrespected, or just flat out not getting my way even though I know they are not worth getting angry about due to how reasonable the circumstances are. Maybe it's just poor emotional regulation and immaturity? Or I just value my own feelings a lot due to high Fi?

It's pretty natural for everyone to have their own agenda and want to be left alone to do things (and not be told what to do). It's also easy for anyone to get annoyed at being interrupted and to have an angry response; the difference is that 6s need things to "make sense" and want to make decisions from their minds, carefully thinking and rethinking about what to do, and making internal "plans"; 9s are not as emotionally focused on needing things to make sense, and make their decisions from a place of "well, this seems right."

6s (along with 4 and 8) are reactive cores, meaning they "respond to stress, conflict, or unmet needs with strong emotions, emotional intensity, and a drive to voice the negative or "bad" things they spot."

A 9 doesn't need others to agree with them that this bad, a problem, etc., but a 6 will continue pushing that point, escalating, and becoming emotional if others do not match their mood. 6s can't help being upset, being emotional, arguing with people, or venting.

9s also do not read into situations or project their insecurities onto a situation the way 6s do -- if the 6 is insecure, then others are picking on them, or think they are incompetent, etc. It's also easier for them to blame others for something they did if they took that person's advice and it backfired, whereas a 9 will react differently with their 1 or 8 wing.

High Fi is emotional in general, but with 9w8, it can be reactive (get out of my face, leave me alone!) and with 6, it can be reactive (this is a huge problem, don't you agree? well, maybe I'm not explaining it well enough and if I reframe my argument, they will give me the support I want).

As an example of a 6 emotional escalation -- an NJ 6 the other day got up and found his car had a flat tire; instead of just... adjusting his plans, he had a meltdown, because now all the plans he had carefully thought about and laid out and how he envisioned every step of his day was "ruined." It's only after he got upset, and then had time to calm down, that he could recognize there were five or six options to get his day back on track. But he escalated first, because his emotional reaction was THIS SUCKS. DOESN'T THIS SUCK???? WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN? IT'S RUINED.

[funkymbtifiction]

Reasoning and Fi

About Fi Fi just saying ‘it’s wrong’ or ‘I hate it.’: today I came across a video from an ISFP that was focused on this issue. She said that she hates when people ask her why she likes something, because she doesn’t have an answer beyond “I just do”. She said someone asked her what her favorite color was she said it was pink. They asked her why, and she said “because it’s pretty”. But she couldn’t explain what was pretty about it and got uncomfortable for having to justify her opinion. She said, “I don’t want to think, I just want to feel!!!”. Would you say this is a general high Fi experience?

I just find that super weird. I mean you’re free to like whatever you want without having to justify it. But not wanting to know why something appeals to you and not liking to provide reasoning just strikes me as so…strange. And she sounded so defensive, as if someone asking for reasons was some sort of personal attack. Like relax, it’s just a question and you can choose to not answer it. Personally I don’t always enjoy justifying my actions to others because it’s my life and I can do whatever I want with it. So if it sounds like I’m being judged, I get annoyed, but in general, I volunteer reasonings for why I do what I do, it just comes naturally. I am very aware of what reasons led me to each decision, I know my 'whys’ well.

Yes, that’s how IFP / Fi-dom / high Fi works. It’s unnecessary to explain why you feel what you do about something, because... it just “is.” The Fi hates broccoli, or can’t stand the color pink, or thinks that is wrong or bad, based on an instant like/dislike process, which doesn’t need reasoned out or rationalized away. It also cannot be argued with because it’s subjective and not based on external “anything.” So there’s no point in telling them cheese makes broccoli better, and pink is a good color, and that this is actually good, because what you think or say about it is irrelevant, and they can’t change how they feel.

A lot of 6s won’t agree with this “I don’t need to justify myself” thing, because 6 spends all of its time justifying itself, but 6 kind of... layers on top of Fi instead of giving it a need to understand its own why and ensure that the why is consistent (like Fe and Ti). A 6 Fi might go “I like this, but I’d better come up with some good reasons that aren’t just ‘because I do’ and it will focus on the things that appeals to it within the object or experience or person.” 

In general, no, Fi doesn’t need to understand its tastes. They just “are.” And the only reason a Fi would need to understand why they “are” is if it was fun or enjoyable for them to do so (”I like this... why? What is it I like about it, so I can sit and ponder that for a long time and what it means for myself?”).

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi Charity! Thank you again for your response on my last question, it helped me feel more confident about my core type (which is 9). I think you might be right about me having a stronger 6 fix than 4 fix, which is crazy bonkers to me because I used to identify myself as a core 4. I have a pretty strong sense of self, and I’m a fairly individualistic woman. I never felt like I fit in any where nor any group, and I’ve always identified myself as a weird misfit. Anyone who knows me will literally say I’m a very weird person, but really sweet and considerate of others. Do you think that has to do more with me having Fi as my dominant function (I’m an INFP) than it does with having 4 in my tritype? Does other enneagram types also have their own personal struggles with feeling weird, alienated, and a misfit? I feel like there’s other people out there who don’t have a good understanding on what it really means to be a core 4, and may be mistyping themselves simply because they identify themselves as an oddball. I also want to say I really appreciate that you take time out of your day to answer all our questions and concerns. I can tell you myself it means a lot. 😊

No problem! Happy to help, most of the time. Ha, ha.

“Anyone who knows me will say I am a very weird person, but really sweet and considerate of others.”

The same could be said of a 6-4 or a 4-6 girl I knew, who was also an NFP. Highly compassionate, deep, and thoughtful of others, but also intentionally fixated on, and brought out, the aspects of her personality that broadcasted to others “I am not like you, we are not the same, my life has been Tragic, and you can’t relate.” That was her image-managing style, and she intentionally streamlined her aesthetics, her words, her appearance, etc., all to support this about herself, to highlight it, and to draw people to look at what SHE wanted them to see rather than what they might mistakenly focus on, in herself. That’s what high image fixers do: “you will see me how I want to be seen.” (I used to think she was a core 4, but in hindsight, she was probably a 641. There was a fair amount of superego and accommodation with a probable 6w7 core.)

Anyway… never feeling like you fit in with any group or anywhere, and identifying as a weird misfit can be 4, but it’s quite often 6. I’ve known countless 6s who would say that about themselves, including myself. Being aromantic, asexual, etc., means that I have never fit in anywhere, that few people understand me, that I struggle to understand others, and I have no real desire to BE like them, either, but… I don’t have 4. Just 6 and Fi. So some of that is probably Fi-ish, in terms of how you go about it (avoid, don’t bother integrating, feel awkward) as opposed to the Fe-6 mantra of “let’s all be freaks together!” I think Fi tends to always have a disconnect with other people, in terms of going “I’m not connecting the way other people seem to here, so maybe I don’t belong here.”

I remember reading Ichazo, whom I don’t really recommend, because his Enneagram 4 chapter is mostly just… 6 mixed with a little bit of 4. I identified with about 80% of it. I think 6s have a strong sense of me vs. “other,” the ways they don’t fit in with other people through a process of comparison (noting differences, and being a little ? what does this mean? About them), and are on a quest of self-understanding and prone to analysis that can superficially read as 4. Most of the “4s” I’ve met online were either 6s or 9s. The real ones stand out for image-managing reasons. 6s just kind of casually drop into things “oh yeah, I’m a freak / weirdo,” and feel proud about not fitting in somewhere, whereas for a 4, it’s just proof that I am Unique and also, an alien who will never truly be appreciated here, or Seen in the way I want to Be Seen, and if you See Me but I don’t like it, I will move a little so that I am no longer in focus for you.

[nerubessieswife33]

Sp6 discord layout for u all!!

U can use and reblog this without crediting me

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[funkymbtifiction]

what is the easiest way to differentiate between enneagram 6 and enneagram 9? I read somewhere a healthy enneagram 6 can look like a 9 (Could be very wrong) so I wanted to ask how can you tell the difference between those?

6s are head types who need to justify themselves, to themselves and to others, whereas 9s don't need that kind of external support for their reasoning. A 9 decides based on gut instinct rather than "reasoning it out" or offering up endless explanations for their behavior. A 6 needs things to "make sense" in a way that 9s don't.

6s are extremely mentally active and 9s are relatively mentally chill by comparison. The 6 is going "why? when? because of what? why should I believe that? what did this person mean by this? why is this going on? did I cause it? if not, who caused it?" Their mental processing is loud and somewhat obvious in being motivated by "practicality" or "being safe" or "just checking."

9s think 6s think too much, and 6s think 9s don't think enough. ;)

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi, Charity! I’ve been thinking about the post you shared on feelers vs. thinkers (my condolences, by the way). When I experienced a loss in my own family, one of my cousins would do extensive research on everything. Since she works in healthcare, she had a lot of knowledge to share with us and she constantly did — even when some of the rest of the family felt it was a bit overwhelming.

When the funeral took place, she told me I should attend because, “according to research,” it was an important step in processing grief. On top of that, she’s constantly analyzing everything, including her own emotions. She never seems to just feel something, everything has to have an explanation, a cause, or a deeper reason behind it.

Is it right to assume this is a sign of high Ti rather than Te? I also believe she’s a 6w5, and since I’m a 6 myself, I can see how some of the overanalyzing might be related to the enneagram as well.

Do you have additional evidence to support inferior Fe to go along with this?

Because to be honest, this sounds potentially ISTJ 6w5.

6 is analytical by itself, it wants to assign motivations to everything, but heavily relying on textbook definitions and detailed research and expecting things to unfold in certain ways defined by "how it is done" can be very ISTJ. "I don't understand this, let's see what history and research and scientific papers tell us..." and then that becomes a substitute for figuring it out yourself (Te vs. Ti + 6).

Most of the people who chronically cite research to me are TJs, because it's a "factual" source of "proven" data in their mind.

[funkymbtifiction]

ENFP or INFP

Hi Charity!

Ah, the age old question. I have been interested in myers briggs since I was in middle school (I’m a college grad now) and I’ve been following your account since then. I was pretty certain I was an INFP until I saw something you posted about how INFPs aren’t as interested in other people’s lives as their own...

Hi! Nice to “meet you,” and thank you for sending so many details in argument of your typing. 😊

I don’t see any reason to question INFP. Most of your answers were strongly Fi-dom / sourcing yourself as the main point of operation. You are coming from the inside-out, and prioritizing what matters to you, more than simply exploring everything for its own sake the way an ENFP does.

It's typical of a 6w7 to land on one or two minor things that might disprove their own type and use that as a catalyst to doubt themselves; so be aware when it happens that this is just 6 doing its thing and dismiss it.

No, being a head type and a Fi-dom are not incompatible or impossible; I have known a fair few 6-core INFPs and they are both analytical and highly emotional and easily insulted (more so than the ENFP 6s, who dismiss things easier). And yes, they can be bubbly and people-oriented, particularly if they have a couple of “happy” fixes in their tritype (like 9 and 2).

Thanks for the well wishes. I hope your weekend is lovely too!