Learning to count to nine

Mage / She/they / Adult / personality type enjoyer / Critblr adjacent chaotic neutral sideblog / cringeblr friendly

[enneamage]

[Anyone finding my blog from loreposts or tumblr search I am one of the bad ones follow at your own risk dudes]

Pinned post! Below the break is a stuff-directory, including a list of CC's that I'm more or less confident of type-wise. List will grow as time goes on.

The Misc. Zone:

Freestanding essays

Loreposts

Twitch/Youtube content posts

My Parasocial Activity rants

Enneagram Type List

While I know that some of them have already taken a test, tests can be flawed and aren't always able to pick up on the core motivations of the person, so it comes down to humans to make the call. I've been doing this for about ten years now, I've earned some arrogance :p.

Aimsey - 2w3

Arin Hanson - 4w3

AustinShow - 2w3

Badboyhalo - 2w1

Billzo - 2w3 - General Billzo tag

Brutalmoose - 9w?

Charlie Slimecicle - 3w2 - General Charlie tag

Dan Avidan - 7w6

Disguised Toast - 5w6

Dream - 6w5 - General Dream tag

Ethan Nestor - 9w1

Foolish - 9w8

Fundy - 4w5

George - 9w1 - General George tag

Hannah Rose - 6w5

HasanAbi - 8w9

Jack Manifold - 9w1 - General Jack tag

Jacksepticeye - 2w3

Jerma - 7w6 - General Jerma tag

Karl Jacobs - 9w1

lilypichu - 9w1

Ludwig - 7w8 - General Ludwig tag

Markiplier - 2w3

Michael Reeves - 6w7

Moistcritical - 9w8

Nihachu - 9w1 - General Niki tag

Northernlion - 9w?

Olivesleepy - 7w6

Peanutbuttergamer - 9w?

Philza - 9w8 - General Phil tag

Quackity - 4w3 - General Quackity tag

Rainbolt - 5w6

Ranboo - 2w3 - General Ranboo tag

Sapnap - 9w8 - General Sapnap tag

Schlatt - 8w9 - General Schlatt tag

Shubble - 7w6 - General Shubble Tag

Sneegsnag - 4w3

Sylvee - 6w7

Technoblade - 9w8

Ted Nivison - 2w1

Tinakitten - 9w1

Tommy - 6w7 - General tommy tag

Tubbo - 9w8 - General Tubbo tag

Wilbur - 3w4 - General Wilbur Tag

Posts that I will get around to:

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If you're curious about your own Enneagram type:

Good-ish quality enneagram test with so-so descriptors

Good-ish descriptors with so-so quality test

Posts I've made about figuring out Type

The starter resource post

General type tag navigator: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

[enneamage]

Honestly one of the oddest things about being in the circles I was years ago was that almost nobody gave me flack from outside. I think I saw one stray post being astonished at me that was posted on tumblr itself, and then like… maybe three? Four??? Asks in the whole course of this blog that were clearly someone from the ‘main’ telling me off, but there was no fighting with any regularity and it never escalated. 

One of the most important things that happened with DSMP fan culture was the splitting of ‘Main’, which is the content that everyone could see, could act like they could see, and could publicly behave in accordance with, versus the subtwts, which despite not having many meaningful ways of hiding themselves acted like they were more private. Some of these subtwts were super forbidden, which gave me a short shopping list of ‘what the hell are these’ to go visit back when I came across a warning post. It was algorithm and vibes, if you found yourself ‘somewhere that you weren't supposed to be’ there was a bit of a sense of personal responsibility around that that would maintain this ‘big building with rooms and hallways’ feeling. Looking/thinking was very much a moral problem and if you found yourself somewhere that you really weren't supposed to be like a community with leaks in it, it was your responsibility to turn back around and bury what you saw. The rules were a bit different on tumblr due to the history of ‘critblr’ as a concept (I’m no good at reciting the origins because I wasn’t there but think of a community that went out of its way to lock things down before it transitioned into being more ‘criticism’ focused) but there was a continued sense of that oil-on-water feeling. Now it should be said that there’s a difference between acting like your hands are clean and actually keeping out of things, because I’m pretty sure most people had a look in places that they ‘shouldn’t have’ at some point, regardless of the story they told others and themselves. 

That… psychic wall, the consequences of ignoring the blatant flaws of the people in front of you, what happens when you let someone tell you what to think, it was a lot. I used to be scared for ‘Main’ and what they were willing to do for people who wouldn’t lift a finger for them back, but with everything that’s happened / the level of disillusionment we’re at now I think people have learned something a very brutal way. I think people are a lot more cynical now, or at least own their duality a bit more since things have quieted down. 

[enneamage]

I'm largely unfamiliar with the DSMP beyond the general cultural osmosis one would gain of it when existing in a Tumblr fandom environment circa: 2020, and entirely unfamiliar with enneagrams (as in: I didnt know what they were before seeing your blog when trying to find unrelated Regular Show fanart), so if I get anything about your schema wrong or bring up something/someone you've been trying to distance yourself from (rightfully so, because most of these guys seem EVIL, evil.) I apologize preemptively for that

BUT how do you go about analyzing a person who intentionally orchestrates and enjoys having sway over others' perceptions of them? This isn't meant to be inflammatory-- To me, it seems like you have a good understanding of what makes these people tick, per se-- but how do you avoid becoming analytically paralyzed when attempting to divorce the (somewhat false) appearance someone projects on-camera from their (comparatively genuine) offline self, someone who you'll never fully know? It seems like such a hard thing to balance.

Can I also ask where you stand in your own primary lens of analysis, if you don't mind sharing/that's not too personal? At the risk of spreading my wild, unfounded opinions, its always been my belief that people frequently use self-taxonomization as a way to relate themselves to those they hold in high regard, and people relate themselves to those they hold in high regard as a way of being able to unconsciously flatter themselves without having to confront their fantasy of being in the same position as someone they idolize directly-- so it is interesting to me how you essentially have a finger in two pies that are known for indulging in this behavior (eg fans of a streamer oftentimes daydream about being a popular streamer themselves, and the name of the game with any kind of personality type based analysis is the taxonomy at the end of the day), yet don't really involve yourself in your posts. Especially because to me, you seem like a very introspective and insightful person, and I don't really think you would have developed such perceptive analysis if you hadnt reflected inwardly at least once. This could also be way off. My rawdogged soul read is that you're a 3 predicated upon purely hallucinated vibes.

Anyway keep doing what you're doing boss you're very smart o7 o7

I think if I was under a lot of pressure to try and produce deep, unique insights into these people I would have had a much harder time coming up with answers for as many people as I’ve touched on here. People who ‘leak’ through their persona more often lend themselves better to analysis, and the ‘cause for the leak’ is often a good place to start because if it can’t be held back it must be important. Some people really are a mystery to me beyond roughly being able to forecast what’s going on beneath the surface through enneagram stuff, and I’ve written much less about them over time. 

The thing about being able to glean an enneagram type is it gives you a field to play within right out the gate. It’s kind of a way of organising natural patterns and priorities and maybe even special quirks that layer on top of each other. An example I’ll use from my archive regarding how this can be useful / fuck up is Quackity, confusing a sincere drive for personal distinction with a sincere drive towards internal truthfulness/expression, which can have overlap within the Type Four archetype but are not the same. At the time I had seen enough ‘positive ambition’ in his behavior to grant him the latter, and then the former became more obvious as time went on. Ironically if I had hit the books again and reminded myself that people-pleasing based distortions can be a Four thing I could have stayed on course a little better, but I wasn’t fully aware of any ‘tie-breaker’ moments that would have made me need to sift one from the other at the time I was writing. My bad.

The thing is I’m a cheating cheater who cheats, because in being able to hook into a larger system I can mooch off a LOT of written stuff, either about types themselves or about people who have been typed a certain way, and all this information can roll over into new contexts that make you a little bit better at reading people each time. There’s always room for surprise but my method is simple, I really genuinely believe that there are nine inter-related but distinct base natures that exist within people and express a bunch of different ways. I’m not always thinking about them or actively looking for them, but sometimes I'll get a really strong up-draft from someone and have an “ah they’re an X then.” I usually try to not let this drown out whatever my other thoughts or natural impulses about the person are because people who lean on the abstract written literature a bit too much can get stuck that way, but at this point I tend to not doubt the legitimacy of the types themselves. 

I’ve always had it in my head that if anyone ever mistook me for a Six I would know that I've managed to cultivate enough Normal Guy energy to pass as an ambivert, never considering that someone would see Three in me or what that would entail. Sometimes stray empathy just gives you something you didn’t have before, at least not as a first-person ego. I’ll concede that the impulse to collect people, to locate them and have a look at their traits to populate an otherwise empty landscape isn’t too far from what I can be like when I’m enjoying the world from sniper-distance. Maybe the idea of someone who has to deliberately do a little extra to become part of the tapestry of stuff resonates more because it’s something familiar stretched into something new, so I can trace back to its roots while still seeing all the places that it’s twisting away from me and doing things I would never personally feel compelled to do. Sometimes analyzing your own type can be like trying to look at the back of your own head, it’s not necessarily easier to produce first-person insight when all of our senses point outside of us, so it’s a weird resonant feedback game of seeing and feeling. But again! I am cheating constantly, and I go through phases of reading up on certain pockets of psych or types of people when they puzzle me enough. 

In enneagram terms, I am a Five. There’s not that many of us out in public but we are around, (Disguised Toast, Rainbolt) specializing into our little niches. I have my suspicions about a few other people but I can’t say for sure since I’m on indefinite hiatus from following streamers. I don’t often run into public figures that are Fives that often, but when I do I both have a feeling of familiarity and a strong sense that ultimately they are not me– nobody throws the fact that you’re different people into your face quite like someone who feels like they should make perfect sense and then regularly deviates from that. Pieces of personal insight? I think my social presentation is a bit more fragmented than I may even be aware of, I’m extremely self-preserving and then intermittently explode with mischievous energy when I see an opportunity to get away with it, I’m still trying to figure out how to make a positive difference in the world with a busted social battery and an obsessive brain. My introspection is very about me and I don’t know how useful it would be to other people outside of making other people more legible, but I know I did it once with Toast. 

I honestly don’t think I ever idealised Wilbur in the positive sense as much as he became what he was for a lot of people at the time, which was someone fascinating enough to follow online for a while. There’s a thing that exists outside of personal identification that’s comparably involving, which is just following an emotional hook and letting someone new crystalise in your mind as a flagpole for the fact that something exists and is happening out in the world– the appeal is that they’re not you, and living by proxy that way. I also saw a lot of good crit work come from people who share a type with a given streamer but I don’t think that it’s straightforward life-by-proxy in those situations either– imagine having an evil twin, and feeling a cringe of recognition every time they do something stupid. Some of the most passionate haterism I’ve ever seen has come from people who are suffering from a cracked mirror effect where every dumbass decision feels invasive because of how under-the-skin it gets. Something something emotional investment is not a binary and if you don’t need to actively make decisions about how someone gets to be in your life because they already aren’t, you never have to resolve mixed feelings and attachment can be as random or raw or contradictory as it wants. 

I know plenty of people who come away from years of CC watching with “my ass could never be a CC.” You just become too aware of the pitfalls of the game and ways that people can perceive you that you don’t intuitively understand if you start out in front of the camera first and only think of internet attention in really abstract or exceedingly practical terms. I only fleetingly contemplate CC life and I pretty consistently land on “nope can’t do it”, especially since if you take a seat for long enough you’ll see a lot of people go off the rails for very human and tragic-in-the-greek-way reasons. In another life I might be making video essays, but even then I don’t trust that version of me to be ‘okay,’ and that opinion is calibrated on the back of watching a lot of people spin out. 

[enneamage]

Just a general enneagram question.

I currently struggle with perfect types. If someone doesn’t match the description perfectly, then who are they?

How to navigate it all? What to look out for specifically? What to focus on the most?

I would say to just remember that it has to be at least one of them, and maybe start by working backwards instead of looking for a perfect stereotype. I've found that my best learning experiences have been based on typing people that I didn't suspect at first but came to through an "oh shit" moment.

It is really hard to essentialise types on paper as a lot of them have strong paradoxes at their core instead of one single data-thing that lies flat at the middle of them, and there’s kind of no cutting corners when it comes to learning the flexibility of nine different umbrellas. Every person makes use of a very complex brain differently, so it’s kind of more like how the puzzle pieces fit together to make a whole rather than who has what, because it’s rare that a trait is only 100% there or totally missing. It’s feeling out how things are balanced against each other and which impulses/instincts take up the most space versus the ones that fall back. 

I was trying to listen to an enneagram podcast this week and when they got to the ‘celebrity examples of this type’ section I felt like I was being shot repeatedly because at least 75% of them were wrong in my eyes. I genuinely forgot that that’s why I don’t tend to hang around the community more, for all the in-depth knowledge some of these people have, things go sideways when it comes time to apply it and make a feedback loop with people and theory. I realised after that I could tell the logic of how they got to the conclusions they did, they were clearly going for a kind of theme checklist and were consistent in applying it, but there was a certain bottom-up sense intuition for who’s who that they were missing. I’m annoying about this but I think it’s true, there’s a picking-up-on-vibes feeling that you can get through presence or writing that becomes more clear over time as you run into different types repeatedly. I really do think that there are some shared essences beyond words that we can try and outline through pattern-finding but will always go a bit past it.

[enneamage]

I'm expecting his attitude to flare up fast. Recently he started giving pretty snarky replies to hate comments on insta/yt; I can only imagine it'll be worse live. I'm aware he has moderators but yk, there's always a chance something escapes them

I’m wary of letting his mess be interesting to me this time. People will probably clip him for anything for a while if he does go live because the feeling of unfinished business is really strong, but I was reviewing some of my old posts and refreshing myself on the fact that he knows how hooking people works on an intuitive level even when he's melting down.

It sucks to feel like he’s getting away with something, but I also think getting as disdainfully bored of him as possible is the move, just to keep him from taking up more real estate in peoples heads than he deserves.

[enneamage]

I actually don’t have tiktok firsthand, but some videos popped up on my youtube catching me up to speed. Remember that thing I keep saying about how if the only people who vouch for you are visibly iffy that it will come back on you in a bad way? This person is using a particular genre of restorative social justice style talking points that honestly might have had legs if he hadn’t framed them in the context of himself and a too-obvious double motivation. Now people who have heard about this will think of those lines of thinking as being tainted. 

A lot of people have made the point that this is more mundane than some youtubers are making it out to be besides this person’s gift for being more visible than the average stan. Communities and the internet kind of take on an “you are what you expel” flavor, so if people are lolcowing this person (which I do think they are, I’ve seen too many thumbnails about this person now to not take that as an option) it’s worth keeping an eye on how he’s getting flack, because that’s going to set the tone for what people take as acceptable to frame Wilbur with. Is he under fire for not distancing himself from Wilbur when everything came out / taking a spotty apologist approach? Or is he being seen as a ~parasocial creepy stan~ who is putting him through some kind of hardship? You’ll probably be able to figure out what comes next based on what settles in.

[enneamage]

Honestly, if he played his financial right, even with the massive expenses of his vanity tours, it seems like he should be set for quite awhile, right? With the reveal that he was lurking leak/crit twt (him doing a "bit" telling people to stop calling him a performative male), I think he probably just misses that attention and validation. He's like a cup with a hole in it, and validation from parasocial strangers on the internet seems like it would be one way of trying to off-set the self-loathing drain.

For all we know, maybe he still keeps tabs on Tommy (remember how Will was so quick to claim credit for "discovering" Tom and saying "he could do stand-up", the codependency, the way that Will clearly expected him to always be there and come running when he called? Must hurt if Tommy cut him off, which the allusions on podcasts to his bad behaviour seem to imply.), maybe his recent Minecraft streams on a big SMP had Will feeling nostalgic for the attention.

Honestly I’ve never had the clearest image of how much money each member managed to come away from the peak DSMP days. For the sake of my blood pressure I settle on “probably a lot” and leave it there, but then the question is how much they managed to hold onto versus spend on impulse/projects/whathaveyou.

Is all attention good attention? I know that some people would rather exist in someone else's line of sight no matter what, but Wilbur came and went in waves back when he had the choice. I feel like it varies from person to person even in extreme cases, but even now I have a hard time seeing him be able to sustain a live performance of trying to get his persona off the ground again without getting in a bad space from live chat. There were times when more or less nothing was going wrong externally and his stormyness would still come out on stream, I can’t imagine a time this fragile will go over with nothing. If the goal is to offset an internal self-loathing, how is the friction between him and a massive ex-fanbase going to get metabolised? If he’s decided it's worth the risk, we’ll find out. 

I guess it’s me keeping notes on what someone likes to think they’re better than, what they keep doing/pursuing, and getting needlessly confused by the discrepancy between the two when it’s really not that hard to understand how things work in clout land. In a way I’m thinking of anyone who was on DSMP coattails (or even the coat itself), thought they were better than what they were doing deep down, but deeper down than that knew that they wouldn’t make it on their own so had to hold on; it’s a recipe to get resentful about what you’re doing to sustain yourself over time. Now that it isn’t even a guarantee that you’ll get returns on ol’ faithful, why come back? The answer must be different for everyone, but your Tommy point is going to stick in my head now, because contact or no contact there's parallels there.

[enneamage]

Could it be that lovejoy isnt generating enough money for him so hes looking to make an extra buck through streaming

Ough that’s an idea, now that the twitch money has dried up he could be going back for another pull to turn what he has left into a few more years of functionality. I remember thinking of all the subs he had back when he was pulling back from streaming and wondering how many people were paying for nothing each month.

[enneamage]

A certain british man is going to stream next week. Supposedly. Thoughts and opinions?

Of all of the people who I haven’t been keeping up with, he’s the one who I haven’t been keeping up with the most, and on purpose. I had to rinse my palette a few fandoms down just to bring myself down to baseline. 

Does he… remember that he doesn’t like streaming? Does he remember why? Did he consider that the audience that he has left will be an even more warped funhouse-mirror version of what was messing with him before? What’s he even planning to do on stream???

[enneamage]

Tommy talked about wanting to kiss Tubbo during the recent MCC. It was heat of the moment during the games, but yeah.

The more things change, the more they stay the same 🕊️.

[enneamage]

hello enneamage o7 have you happened to talk about purpled before or is he not your area of expertise?

I have talked about purpled before, but not very well, and at this point I haven't seen him in years so I've probably only gotten worse.

[enneamage]

exactly, i think anon needs to get off their high horse and realise the reason they're only just realising how insidious and harmful it was, is the same reason the parents are only just realising that. it's easy to sit there and expect parents to be all-knowing and aware of every possible danger to shield their child from, but parents are people living in the same world as you, they're experiencing things the same exact time you are, and to expect them to know what that situation was and how out of hand it would get is very easy in hindsight, but at the time, would've had THEM be labelled the harmful, controlling ones.

tdlr: immature take anon, not even hot take, just soggy and cold and pedantic

Lifting you up and putting you in air jail a bit for being spicy but yeah, everyone is ‘coming down’ from what happened, including the parents. Generational knowledge only really adds up to what people have lived and heard of before plus instincts, so a new wave of tech / entire communications revolution can wash a concerning amount of it away. It’s fucked up on both ends of the parent-child spectrum that we’re living in a world where old models of what to know became so useless so fast and how many people were left unprepared / unprotected because of it. I even I don’t know what The Kids are getting up to online now beyond a certain point, so it’s really unsettling how fast these moments come and go and how quickly information becomes useless.

[enneamage]

this feels like it shouldn't be a hot take, but I only feel safe enough to drop it here: The parents of every MCYT who got big when they were minors should not have let them continue streaming. Wdym you're letting your 16 year old hang out with a bunch of grown men he met online. Are you insane.

The unfortunate thing is, among Parents Of A Certain Age and even people who just don’t spend much time online, the sheer prevalence of interpersonally exploitative behaviors here is hard to imagine. It takes way more knowledge of the landscape and pitfalls of the very-online internet than someone from the outside would be able to intuit just from eyeballing it. It really takes having been here the whole time to watch how bad it can get ‘in-person’ to realise it’s possible for these situations to come up, because these aren’t typical stranger danger type situations or the kinds of people you would have been warned about ten-twenty years ago. I’m pretty sure I have a negative stereotype about nearly every type of person now to keep track of because of the things I've seen, and that’s gotta be unhealthy on some level. 

These are people who moved sideways into being the parents of child stars, and the thousand moral questions of ‘how much is too much’ and ‘is this conducive to healthy growth’ are hard when your child is two years away from being able to legally sign documents and do their own thing anyway. The things that have played out were unimaginably specific and very hard to protect against, especially when you wrap them in the context of the global internet event that was lockdown.

[enneamage]

Read through some of the stuff you wrote about sbi fan fiction and sexual repression within the dsmp fandom and God I’ve waited for someone to talk about this for years😭 I’ve seen people call out sbi and beeduo fics for being… well sort of kinky and weird but never why this phenomenon occurred in the first place. In the lore circles of dsmp twt, specifically the “c!tommy apologist” subtwt there was SO MUCH OF THIS but with ctommy and cdream. And I see it happening in other fandoms and I just want it to stop omg. I feel so bad for all the children on poppytwt and the underage ccs, who were exposed and pushed into spaces centered around sex too early because of it. I don’t know if you’ve heard of this, but a few years ago there was a person who killed themselves after being “exposed” on twitter for being on poppytwt. For some reason I never saw people talk about it. The whole situation feels like mass hysteria, I don’t understand how it all happened. Sorry this is basically just a rant, but I have so many feelings about this. I wish there could’ve been some sort of intervention.

Yeah, prior to my sfw fic situation tag I did have a post about how people had been hunted down online and how it had real-world consequences. I haven’t been around to see the repressed-but-still-erotic-in-denial pattern re-create itself in other fandoms, but sadly I could understand why it happens (and keeps happening.) 

The topic of early teen sexuality is kind of mortifying for most people to engage with, including the person experiencing it. I do see it play it out in certain fandom teens in a particular way, and I presume that it’s carrying through to these other contexts as well. Is it a violation (from adults) if sexual interest comes from the outside in, but unfortunately for you natural if it comes from the inside out, and suddenly your mind has to square your vulnerability / the vulnerability of other people your age with a sudden internally motivated interest in things you don’t fully understand yet. Certain concepts suddenly take on a special gravity you want to explore but you also know that capital S sexuality is dangerous, and as far as you’ve known you’ve never been interested in sex itself, so it (better) must be something else. Very hard to make room in your head for the moral ambiguity of it, let alone pull a win out of that situation. People are motivated to bury their intentions in public to not ‘become’ the pervert/predators that they’ve been aware of all their lives so far. They’re also motivated to go after other people in their peer group who seem to be doing this very thing, just to help re-build the wall. 

The non-literalness of the sexuality part is also something that they don’t have the information to parse, because the picture of sex-like-things is supposed to go looking at someone -> feel a textbook romantic feeling (optional)-> desiring textbook sexual intercourse instead of getting really invested in a power dynamic or an action or sensation. Anyone who leans towards a context model or a particular fixation (‘nerds’ may show up here more just because of how they already are) will find a visual-only amatonormative model underwhelming and think of themselves as nonsexual from what they have to compare to. Kink and fetish outlets are stuff you learn about way further down the road in an adult context, but honestly, they’re present every step of the way in terms of noticing, and older people now often think back to when they first got into stuff by saying ‘Well, I was watching this cartoon…’

Now it should be said that if you ever see me saying “Sex positivity will solve all of this :)” I have been kidnapped. Especially when it came to Poppy, there were no easy answers. We really do need personal and social sexual boundaries, but we also need to be able to understand when people going through puberty are behaving like they’re going through puberty. We’re always working with something volatile when we’re touching this stuff, and there’s a temptation to flatten it out into a set of rules, but we famously twist rules to our advantage all the time, so we just push in circles. 

One of these days I’m going to have to sit down and read psychoanalytic texts instead of just reading things that happen to be downstream from Freud. A lot of the ideas about how libido work are frustratingly useful, and they just kept being relevant in these situations when it comes to expression and repression. I’ll link back to the post where I make an example of the accidental fetish community so first-time readers can know what the hell I’m on about.

[enneamage]

salutations, enneamage……

is this parasocial. Why would it Matter. Literally an Anon. An enneanon. me and the tumblr blog i keep sending asks to. i was wondering how one would be able to tell between the types? like obviously there are all the key differences and Fears and Beliefs and Desires and such but i find myself being unable to decipher which one i align myself with at the core? i read these all and i’m like! ok! i relate to All of these! to an extent! i’ve tested as a 9, 2, and 6 over the years and i’ve been assigned an eight once by a friend.

best regards….

enneanonymous…

I’ll be honest, the “I relate to everybody and I can’t decide” line is fairly classic for Nine to struggle with. From the 6-2-9 haul you have, It sounds like you may be 9w8 and your friend was picking up the wing flavoring. Nines can flag as Six under stress, Two when feelings very others-oriented, and Eight when anger/stubborness/high energy comes to town.

[enneamage]

hi! hope you're doing well :) idk if you remember or not, but I was the anon a while back (2 years maybe?) who kept on testing with an even split between types 4 and 6. Well, it took me a long time but I've finally realized that i'm a type 6! I now do occasionally get test results of having a 5 wing, but I actually think I'm pure 6 or at least my 5 wing is weak. Just thought I'd give an update, since this took like two years of self-reflection and going through life struggles lol

Insight! I hope it’s been useful to you after you managed to sort them out, after a while the label hopefully works for you and not the other way around.

[enneamage]

New Lovejoy album. guy sings about :

- struggles with that addiction mindset where he craves Something because he's trying to offset the misery,

- having a fandom that shouted his lyrics back at him and (from his perspective) didn't seem to actually understand the meaning/intent of the lyrics

- being publicly cast down from grace online

- being a public figure and feeling he has to make himself palatable whilst also at the same time still being a leftist

- getting into relationships because he's tired of being alone but they don't actually fix his problem

- lots of drug use references in general with an aura of misery about them

- feeling like he's not understood

- etc.

in no particular order.

They're pretty catchy but man does this guy sound fucking miserable.

I feel like I've lived a few lifetimes between when everything happened and now, so it’s wild that this is technically a ‘first album.’ I decided that I would give the lyrics a look but I wouldn't let them into my brain as songs as a compromise on keeping internal peace ect ect ect.

Is it leftism he’s hiding? I talked before about how his politics seem to be complicated by his authority issues and desire to be in his own lane, and I wouldn’t be able to detail how those two do or don’t mesh. Might be something in there about how whatever explanation he could give of his thinking on a number of topics wouldn’t be positively branded enough / trip some ‘red flags’ compared to something like leftism. 

The most glaring theme through everything was religiosity and ritual/worship/belief and lack of belief, but that’s clearly not a unique insight on my part. Taking a shot at the attitude and actions people take for ‘their beliefs’ without touching on their content is certainly a framing choice, you can get very righteous playing the ‘sheeple’ card.