Did 2 grams of Psilocybe cubensis today. Ate the dried mushrooms with a bar of KitKat to cover up the taste. I went into it expecting a lot more than I got. The climax of the trip was like that state in between waking and falling asleep, like dreaming when you're awake. I had really short dreams that felt very real, then I suddenly snapped back into reality. That lasted only a few minutes.
I had planned on doing a full 6 hour meditation session, but after the first hour I got pretty bored since the effects were mostly mild. I did gain some enlightenment out of it tho. Funnily enough, I experienced pretty much the opposite of entheogenesis; the mushrooms discouraged me from pursuing paganism.
A few weeks prior to the trip, I decided to start practicing paganism, worshipping pagan gods. I made that decision after witnessing the sun god Ra sitting upon his throne high on weed. I picked some gods to worship — Thor, Dionysus, Athena, and of course Ra — and started doing daily prayers in the morning, as well as in opportune moments, like praying to Thor for strength before a workout, or to Athena before studying.
But after today's shroom trip, I don't feel like I really need to pray daily or with such fervour. I still believe in the gods of course, all my experience with cannabis taught me that the metaphysical is truly real, and simply an aspect of reality that the West today mostly shuns. But I don't think I'll do my daily prayers anymore. I'll still think of Thor when pulling weight, of Dionysus when drinking wine, of Athena when studying for college, and of Ra when bathing in the sun, but I just feel like my relationship with the gods doesn't have to stick to a daily routine; that's a modern Abrahamic conception of religiosity that doesn't really vibe with me.
Anyhow, after the peak of the trip, I went on with my day; did the housework, laundry, the dishes, and so forth, and went out for groceries with my folks in the evening, still feeling the afterglow. I felt more relaxed, yet more comfortable in my skin; my social anxiety really dissipated. And the colors were really vivid too. I wonder if microdosing shrooms would be beneficial to me, especially in place of the medications I take for anxiety and depression.
Overall, a positive, if not underwhelming experience. I still intend on doing 4 grams next week. I'll write about it when I do. For now, that's it. See y'all next week!
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