No one cares

Sw: 202.8 Cw: 176.4 Next Gw: 175 Gw: 140 UGW: 100

[sickfrr]

Coping? nah I’m raw dogging life with untreated mental illness

[neglectedmutt]

i feel like a puppy no one wants

[entitynotincluded]

slowly but surely i’m getting there. it’s so hard to restrict because everyone around me is monitoring my food intake.

[entitynotincluded]

i know i have feelings for him but he told me he doesn’t want to do relationships. so im trying to accept that we’re just friends with benefits (even though it’s just online) but i think i want more and it hurts a bit but i wouldn’t change it cause i want my time with him still and im not ready to give that up.

[unfiltereddddmess]

[entitynotincluded]

I’m so happy to be losing weight but it’s not enough. It’s not enough to make me happy. I went from 202 to 187. I want to be smaller. I want to be lovable. I want to be cherished. I don’t want to be alone. My fear of the dark has been getting worse and worse. I don’t miss them but I miss the safety of another person in my bed to keep me safe. There’s so many things going on.. I want to be smaller. I want to be in a coma. I want to be hurt. I want to be dead. I deserve to be traumatized again worse and worse.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for existing. I’m sorry for breathing. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry for being disgusting to look at. I’m sorry for being a horrible person.

I just want to be free from myself.

[entitynotincluded]

i can feel that familiar feeling growing again

it’s usual presence there and barely noticeable

now wrapping around me

its thorns piercing and hooking into me

i know it will become suffocating

it will bleed me dry

[entitynotincluded]

I was 202lbs a few weeks ago.

Today I weighed in at 188.2lbs

[entitynotincluded]

A few weeks ago at the doctors I weighed in at 202lbs. Instantly having an internal crisis about it I stopped eating as much. Sometimes finding a way to not eat all day without worrying anyone and if I do eat its much smaller portions. Breaking one meal into two or three. I’ve lost 12lbs and weighed in at 190 this morning.

I know my brain is just reverting to old habits but I want to keep going. I want to be as skinny as I used to be in highschool. Back when I was puking every night from anxiety.

[entitynotincluded]

i don’t feel a genuine love for anything right now… everything feels so far away and numb. I wish I could just die

[pjackk]

Dont be very woried about me since i deserve all of this

[entitynotincluded]

god i feel so alone

i feel like no one truly cares about me and that i’m just an annoyance to everyone around me

i’m just a placeholder friend

i’m here when it’s convenient but i was never meant to last

i’m despicable

i wish i was worth being cared about

i wish i could talk to someone about this without feeling like a burden and like it’s pushing them to drop me

[entitynotincluded]

the intense need to die is creeping back

i’m certain everyone hates me

i mean why wouldn’t they

[rabbittongues]

[twistedsweethearts]

Currently going through another episode of “I’m unlovable and disgusting, please kill me” please come back at another time…

[cherrykha]

i just wanna stay in bed forever. sleeping feels easier than being awake

[mricarus]

My default assumption is that I'm always in the way and nobody actually wants to be around me