I am a broken mirror, there is no fixing me

Aria Redford - 30 - Weapons Officer

[gosh]

[gosh]

There are all kinds of addicts, I guess. We all have pain. And we all look for ways to make the pain go away.

Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian (via teenager90s)

[coral]

[entraria]

Please let it be empty, Aria pleads silently as she heads for the kitchen. She's tried all night to fight the craving, but her stomach wouldn't relent. She needed this one little fix. Aria peeks into the dimly lit room finding it empty, just as she had hoped. An excited smile graces her lips as she creeps in, bare feet padding across the cold, smooth floor. She rummages through the cabinets until she finds the two jars she discovered a while back, peanut butter and chocolate spread.

Her stomach growls viciously in anticipation and she twists the two caps off and grabs a spoon. She didn't care if anyone else was going to possibly use the two, surely there were more around in storage somewhere. She digs her spoon into the peanut butter, scooping up a healthy serving of the golden thickness before dipping it into the chocolate spread; layering the two on the spoon.

Her mouth waters and she sticks the glob of goodness into her mouth, moaning at the salty, sweet mash up that goes almost too perfectly together. She dips it in again, her taste buds singing in happiness. She freezes, the spoon inches from her wide mouth as a voice rings out through the room. 

[entrdon-blog]

  "It’s what makes life more fun. And a bit terrifying. In the end, what have we got to lose."

[entraria]

Aria raises her glass of whiskey, "Exactly. The only thing you have to lose in the end is living with the fact that you never did anything a little dangerous." 

[jay-mockridge-deactivated201508]

  "It wouldn’t be the Enterprise way then, would it?"

[entraria]

Aria chuckles, a bright smile framing her lips, "No, it wouldn't." 

"So, what do you think we'll find? I'm hoping for something a little on the dangerous side. All that time cooped up, not exploring has got me hungry for something exciting."

[entraria]

"Overwhelming odds with little to no chance of success, how could we resist?" 

[coral]

[entrjesus-blog]

  "Playing around with weapons doesn’t sound like ‘nothing too exciting’. I’d say quite the opposite," although he wasn’t that good at it— he prefered a closer approach, when it came to fighting. And if possible, no fighting at all. "I should go visit you some day."

"Ah yes," he smiled. "Hyper as ever, especially now that we’ve found out there’s a cat aboard. She likes playing with him. And, uh, there’s not much for me in the bridge now, but I handle."

[entraria]

"Well, when your job is to test weapons, it loses it's excitement. Unless you get a new weapon, then it's like Christmas morning." She loved getting to play around with all the new weapons that Starfleet sent. It wasn't often, but when it did happen she couldn't help but strip it to pieces and learn all the ins and outs. "You should, it's a good stress reliever. I'll make sure to pull out one of the big ones for you," she adds, nudging his shoulder playfully. 

"There's a cat on board?" A soft laugh escapes her, "At least they get along." Aria couldn't imagine not having anything to do to keep her preoccupied. She couldn't sit around for long without getting antsy. She hoped if she was in the same situation as Jesus she would be able to handle like he says.

"So, do I at least get a hint as to what this secret is?" 

[entrjesus-blog]

  "Scavenging, stealing," he chirps, a faux look of disbelief crossing his face before it vanishes, leaving instead a toothy grin that has ‘let’s do it’ written all over it. 

"I’m in. Do tell what you’ve done meanwhile. Last we spoke Coyota sort of, interrupted."

[entraria]

"I knew you were a rebel," she teases, walking beside him. A short laugh escapes her as she remembers the sweet pup tugging on her owner's pant leg incessantly so she could go do her lady business. "I've been keeping myself busy, hanging out at the firing range and playing around with the weapons, nothing too exciting. My life is rather boring, except for the occasional need for adventure, of course." 

"How about yourself? Is Coyota keeping you busy?" 

[entrjesus-blog]

"Of course. But it must be good tequila and good nachos, otherwise it’s not even worth it," he winked (it hadn’t exactly been an oath, promise, whatever. He’d just forgotten, actually).

"Don’t worry. Nothing bad, I promise."

[entraria]

"Well obviously. I wouldn't agree otherwise, my liquor always has to be top notch," she smiles widely. An easiness falls over her with his reassurance. "What do you say to being a little rebellious and snatching a bottle from the bar and then scavenging the mess hall?"

[coral]

[entrjesus-blog]

"I took a blood oath that I wouldn’t tell you what they said about you, but if you bring me some tequila and nachos, I might be inclined to break that oath."

[entraria]

"A blood oath, huh?" Aria manages a wide smile, masking her worry. What would anybody on this ship have to say about her? She sticks to herself and never tells anyone anything about herself. Aria quirks a brow, "Tequila and nachos and that's all it's going to take to break that promise?" She thought carefully for a moment before nodding her head. 

"I'm down

[entrtonia]

Night Terrors

Tonia’s eyes fluttered shut as she walked the halls of the enterprise at nighttime. Her footsteps dragged as the tiredness kicked in. As soon as her eyes closed fully, however, they opened instantly. She couldn’t risk it. That was why she had left her room at who knows what hour of the night. Thought she was exhausted the fear wouldn’t leave her body if she closed her eyes again. Whose to say she wouldn’t have another? 

Yes, she hated to admit it but as a child she had always had night terrors, nightmares, whatever you wish to call it. They had quieted down for a while, especially since she partied until she blacked out anyway. Partying had become a solution to the nightmares after all. Tonia could never fully recall them and sometimes when she did they seemed silly. Yet, the cold sting, the impending fear, was still very evident. 

So she took a walk. And found herself in front of the botany on the ship. She had only been there once before when Daniel had given her a tour. Her eyes followed the vines and the leaves of the trees, trying to calm herself down. Everytime she felt it safe to close her eyes again, when she thought she had finally calmed down, the fear would come back as if someone had stabbed her for the uptenth time. Startling the sleepiness away from her. Her heart would beat at breakneck speeds again and she’d have trouble breathing. So she’d walk. Walk until the cycle repeated itself. 

At this point, as her eyes traced the shapes of the foreign plants she was becoming sleepy yet again. Who knew one could sleep while standing? Either way, Tonia didn’t notice the person come up to the window as well, so she said nothing until the voice sharply broke through her desire to sleep. 

A bit startled, she looked to her right.

"Oh hello," Tonia attempted a small smile. "Didn’t see you there. Out for a late night stroll?," 

[entraria]

It was any typical night for Aria. She stopped off at the bar for the night, drank to her heart's content and headed back to her room, hoping for a dreamless sleep. But those were rare nights and she knew that. She woke from the nightmare the same as always; soaked in sweat, heart racing a mile a minute, breath ragged, eyes wide, and muscles shaking in fear

She glances at the digital clock on the bedside table and sighs in defeat. Only a couple of hours have passed since she originally came to bed, which was already late. Aria tosses the covers aside, slipping on her shoes and wanders out into the halls. The confines of her room, even with the lights on, make it hard for her to erase the images that continue to plague her even after all these years. Not to mention that she knows trying to lie back down and go to bed is useless. She can never fall asleep after these dreams, at least not for a hour or so. 

The bright light and openness of the halls soothe her tremor filled body. She continues to explore, trying to focus her mind on the place around her and not the past. But she can still hear their screams ringing in her ears like they are right next her. 

Aria takes the twists and turns of the ship and eventually ends up at the botany area. She's never been here before and the plants mesmerize her. Aria is so interested in the twisted vines and multitude of green that she didn't notice the person standing a few feet away from her. 

She considers not saying anything, and even though the plants are a distraction, a conversation is a much better one. "Do you usually hang around here at this time of night?" 

The woman jumps, startled by my question. She didn't even seem to hear what I asked. Her eyes are sleep heavy and Aria lets out an inaudible sigh. This stranger was probably going through the same thing she was, at least that's what she assumed. It's obvious the woman is tired. Normal people go to bed when they are tired. They don't hang around the botany area of the ship looking at plants unless they don't want to sleep. 

"Not exactly a stroll of my free will you can say. Trust me, I'd much rather be in bed getting my eight hours, but the mind does what it wants. I'm going to assume you're not out here for a late night stroll either?" 

[coral]

[gosh]

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches (via teenager90s)

[coral]

You can’t stop the future You can’t rewind the past The only way to learn the secret …is to press play.

 Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why (via feellng)