Firstly, I’d like to apologise for this lengthy post. But I feel its necessary given the massive change that has recently developed in my life.
Soooo, I finally finished my Bachelor’s degree in Environmental Science (Wildlife and Conservation Biology)! This degree has given me opportunities I would have never been able to do anywhere else -interacting with absolutely beautiful native wildlife out in the field, travelling to AFRICA to volunteer on a wildlife reserve, exploring absolutely stunning biomes all over my state. It’s been great.
I have decided however not to pursue honours in my degree, despite initial plans to do so. I thought this degree would be more concentrated on the animals, however the last 6 months of my degree showed me that it was more on countless boring statistics, sleepless nights of reading journal article after journal article, and slaving away behind a computer for days only to come to a less than satisfactory conclusion.
That is not what I am in for. I am not here to be a slave to someone else’s idea of whats good for me. I am here to co-exist alongside animals directly, to communicate and to bond with them. To educate others on these animals. Not to want to throw my head through the computer screen every time a file becomes corrupted. I have a very unique talent, many people believe they do but only few actually act upon it. And I know I have this talent, to communicate with animals. To not only understand what they think,but to feel their existence, their being. I don’t want this talent to go to waste to meet the approval of my professors, of my family and my peers.
The last 6 months of University almost killed me - literally. My mental health worsened to the point where I was suicidal. I know it is not solely the fault of tertiary education as I have been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was 14 years old, but the pressure and expectations of me to put in so much of my life, expectation to put my studies above everything else, above work, volunteering, hobbies, friends and family, to put all my energy into something I was not enjoying doing at all, coerced me into a very dark place, where I was seriously considering taking my own life just to escape that. Just so I could have a break from it all, even if it was permanent. So I am glad to finally be free of that worry.
After months of stress and application after application and interviews. I am absolutely THRILLED to be accepted into studying a course at my local zoo about the ethical care of keeping wildlife and exotic animals in a zoo-based setting. One of the BEST zoos in the world. I have managed to be one of the best out of hundreds, if not thousands of applicants. And I am so excited to finally pursue what I feel I was born to do.
I start my studies mid February. Maybe, with more time on my hands, I will be able to update this blog more often.