perverse triangle

“The people responding to each other in the triangle are not peers, but one of them is of a different generation from the other two” (Haley, 1997, p. 37; emphasis added)2. “In the process of their interaction together, the person of one generation forms a coalition with the person of the other generation against his peer. By ‘coalition’ is meant a process of joint action which is against the third person.” (Haley, 1997, p. 37; emphasis added)3. “The coalition between the two persons is denied. That is, there is certain behavior which indicates a coalition which, when it is queried, will be denied as a coalition.” (Haley, 1997, p. 37; )

[ithelpstodream]

[erased-dad]

Yah, and they spread that trauma like poison on to their children. They are dillusionsl and blame their (ex) partners for things their abuser did. Then they tell their children their dillusion, and ruin their children’s life.

[traumatized-mouse]

frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

[unique-ones-enlightened]

[thesylverlining]

I wish more people got this because some ‘low-empathy’ people are the most compassionate and sympathetic in the universe, and I hate it when that’s taken to mean ‘unfeeling and probably hostile’ when nothing could be further from the truth

[quantum-jump]

Or, as my dad put it,

Sympathy: I know how you feel Empathy: I feel how you feel Compassion: is there anything I can do to help?

[ourcollectivefantasy]

Posting this because I see these words used interchangeably in RP writing a lot, and they are - in fact - not the same. Know the differences and impress your writer friends! It really is noticeable when someone has a strong grasp of vocabulary, and thus is a stronger writer.

[pinxiedust]

Also, empathy is not always compassionate or sympathetic!  It very often goes with those two, but empathy itself is not a requirement for feeling sympathy or compassion at all.  Empathy works like a sponge, and can happen whether you care about the people around you or not.  It works with negative emotions such as anger, and can make you question which of the emotions you currently feel are your own.

[halfsquaretriangles-deactivated]

[sciteachers]

Wtf

[erased-dad]

Self care 101

[parentless-suggestions]

god I hate you so much. you manipulated me into hating my dad, who cares about me and doesn’t abuse me, you used to threaten me (not as much now) and I wish you would act on threats, you scream and insult me, and you are dating this abusive horrible thing that I have to call my stepfather. that “stepfather” screams, yells, and Jesus fucking Christ does he lash out at me when he’s drunk. I immediately get a pit in my stomach when there’s football on tv. I hate you and I’m done.

[wnq-books]

[amargedom]

“Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.”

— Oprah Winfrey (via minuty)

[urcoolhandluke]

👊🏻

[bob-belcher]

[erased-dad]

[philosophybits]

“Nothing is more damaging to a new truth than an old error.”

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Maxims and Reflections

[erased-dad]

Father says authorities could have saved 'awesome' seven-year-old son

Lesley Speed, 44, of Rushbury, Shropshire, strangled Archie Spriggs with a scarf then smothered him with a cushion on the day she and the boy's father were due at a family court.

[sadsaru]

[linusquotes]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Be with someone who will take care of you. Not materialistically, but take care of your soul, your well-being, your heart, and everything that’s you.”

— Unknown

[aestheticalspace]

[imbusion]

““She’s known sadness, and it has made her kind.””

— The Shock of the Fall (via goodreadss)

[erased-dad]

Not my ex

[spaceeblack]