Parentless Suggestions

a safe space for people without parents/without good parents. feel free to submit things as well it's all anonymous. this blog gets hundreds of submissions and asks, so I'm so sorry if I don't get to yours; it's basically impossible for me to answer all of them. please be sure to read the tags. #submission means it's not ours. read the disclaimers/faq's before submitting. (https://parentless-suggestions.tumblr.com/disclaimersfaqs) if that link doesn't work, you can look up "faq page" or "disclaimer page" in the tags to find the page. we will no longer answer questions that are on the faq page.

[satanfemme]

children's movies love to set up parents and guardians as being cruel and unreasonable up until the child character is instructed by a third party to apologize or tell the truth or confess some kind of secret about themselves, and then all of a sudden the parental figure will learn empathy be like "wow... I didn't know you felt that way... don't worry, I'll always love you". and it really set some unrealistic expectations for me as a kid, where when I tried to follow that script irl I ended up getting told something more along the lines of "wow... you're really manipulative and spoiled... do you want me to apologize or something? I won't. it's your fault if you decided to feel 'unloved' or something. and if you don't start following my demands perfectly soon, you're going to ruin your life beyond repair and never be happy again. so consider that :)"

basically I think more movies should end with the parental figures continuing to be unreasonable instead of having a sudden and unrealistic change of heart, and then I think their kid should kill them. mhm. this would be good to teach kids what their backup options are if their attempts at diplomacy fail, and it'd be good as a cautionary tale for parents. I see no problems with this.

[errrrmmmmmmmmmmm-deactivated202]

actually my mommy is the one who has issues with me. so.

[turing-tested]

why didnt you call the cops or cps?

how about this: when i was 9 and my stepdad beat me until i passed out and i told my friends at school, my teacher over heard and i was interviewed by cps. they also went to my house when i was at school. when i got home, my step father was waiting on the couch, and told me who visited him that day. he told me if i ever snitched again he would beat me to within an inch of my life.

how about this: my mother locked me out of the house when i was 14 and when i cried so loud the neighbors called the cops, the cop told me i should have been respectful of my mother who was trying to sleep.

how about this. the demon you know is less scary than the demon you don’t.

children in abused households are raised to fear the idea of being taken away. children in abusive households see that help makes things worse.

dont you ever blame an abuse victim for not going to the authorities.

[turing-tested]

yes this okay to reblog!

[autisticharrywells]

Also, a lot of abused children don’t realize that they’re being abused or the extent of the abuse. It’s their normal. Their minds are formed by their experiences and if all they’ve known is one existence it can be difficult to recognize that it’s wrong

[labelleizzy]

It can be difficult to realize that “better” even exists. This is part of why fiction can be life-saving. If you can read stories about happy families, loving families, sometimes you can hang on long enough to find or build a loving family for yourself.

[3000s]

living in an environment of people you cant say no to is bad for you because you basically have to become manipulative to get your point across to survive and that carries over into non family relationships

[pocket-deer-belly]

pro tip: if your child isn't very good at keeping up with an essential life skill, you should absolutely make them feel ashamed of it to the point they'd rather hide the problem than risk letting you see it

[pocket-deer-belly]

and don't forget ☝️ get angry at them for not doing it

[desinteresse]

Talking to friends with inept parents is crazy. No wonder they’re like this if their parents kept fumbling

[desinteresse]

“I’m having trouble adapting to my adult responsibilities” well no wonder, nobody raised you 😭😭😭

[desinteresse]

Hot tip for future parents: you actually have to guide your kid to adulthood. Feeding them and waiting for them to grow up is not enough since they are not house plants. A little more thought and care is required.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[assimilation-failure]

lets go no contact with mama

[11thfempachi]

idgaf if my parents are disappointed in me I'm not impressed by them either

[takemyhand-justice]

team let’s stop giving abusive parents redemption arcs

[aropride]

i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

[aropride]

the wizard is my mother but that's not relevant

[kosmogrl]

[womentoadmire]

Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of cruelty—or violence—he builds to the next. By depersonalizing his partner, the abuser protects himself from the natural human emotions of guilt and empathy, so that he can sleep at night with a clear conscience. He distances himself so far from her humanity that her feelings no longer count, or simply cease to exist.

Lundy Bancroft, “Why does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.” (via womentoadmire)

[feminismandmedia]

[image description: a tweet by user @indigenousAI saying

"fun fact: as a DV survivor i cannot register to vote because doing so makes my address public. anyone who is fleeing or hiding from an abuser is automatically disenfranchised from the political process and this is a feature, not a bug"]

[taehyungsgrowl]

I don’t know of the original poster might not be aware

but!

if you’ve been a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, you can enroll into the address confidentiality program (free of cost!) and be registered to vote as an absentee voter and your name and address will not be made available for the public

it is super easy to get enrolled - the application takes like 5 minutes, but it has to be with someone who is certified to do it (most likely an advocate! try going to a family justice center in your area or calling the Attorney Generals office in your area!!!!)

ALSO : 

you don’t need to have any police reports or have a protection order to qualify!!! you just have to sign stating that you’ve been a victim of one of the aforementioned crimes.

[orgy-of-nerdiness]

Links to the info for every state in the Wikipedia article:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Address_confidentiality_program

Address confidentiality program - Wikipedia

[parentless-suggestions]

“you are failing math why don’t you ask me for help” hmmmmm i sure do wonder why? maybe it’s because all you do is insult me, make fun of me, scream at me, hit me, tell me i’m worthless and will never be good enough... but sure, it’s such a mYStErY hUh whY dOnT i JUsT aSk yOu fOR HeLP

[parentless-suggestions]

you intertwined my culture with your abuse so gently. I don’t even feel safe engaging with it anymore. I find myself cutting my hair now. I go by an American name. I can’t forgive how you’ve corrupted my relationship with the blood in my veins. I can’t love who I am anymore. It’s uncomfortable to even admit that I want to. What have you done to me.

[parentless-suggestions]

My mom almost killed my sister last night. She was in a bad mood and she’s been pretty unstable lately, she put pesto all over the shrimp and kept insisting my sister eat more. After five or six pieces my sister realized she was having an allergic reaction and my mom admitted that there were nuts in the pesto. Then she spent the night snapping at my sister like she was inconveniencing her