Moon In My Shine, Whiskey In My Water

"In every set of twins there is one angel, one devil." • • • • • • • • • • • • Afghanistan Veteran | Marines 28-year-old Firefighter

[m0xt]

[ernestxbunbury]

@isabelcasillxs

[wnq-writers]

Let’s stay up all night discussing how the stars aligned in just the right ways to bring us together, to this moment.

louisfallieres (via wnq-writers)

[isabelcasillxs]

“I don’t think they will…” Isabel replied with a shrug, looking up at the blond man for a minute there, before she allowed her gaze to follow Zac as he sauntered along the sand. “…But I don’t want to say ‘No, of course they won’t’ and push my luck. If he asks and they say yes, he’ll be more than welcome here. Georgia knows that.” She was about to warn him to be careful, but Ernie beat her to it. The moment in itself, stole a smile from her lips… to know that despite his brothers not having made a single effort to notify his family of the child that he had helped make/create/whatever, Ernie was still fond of the kid and as careful as a parent would be. Even though children weren’t in her plans for now, the brunette couldn’t help but to think that Ernie would be a good parent. Whether they worked things out and managed to stay together until children were in the picture, or, if eventually things ended between them and he ended up as someone else’s husband, there was no doubt that he would be a good parent. He was thoughtful, he was careful, he knew how to make people smile and he knew how to be stern, serious and broody. What was not to like about that? She had to bite down on her bottom lip, to prevent her from smiling at the thought, which is why she decided to bring up the tickets. Isa knew that he would be busy on the week of the premiere, and now with Zac in town and dying to spend time with his buddy, she thought it might be a nice way for them to spend time together.

You should go with him. Isabel was still biting on her lip when Ernie spoke again, and she looked up to meet his gaze. We were supposed to watch it. That was it–she was caving. She knew that she was caving and it sucked. Reaching over to take his hand, Isabel sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “You know we’ll be okay, right? We just need some time.” She told him while intertwining their fingers and bringing his hand over to her lips, to press a kiss on top of it. “It’s hard… I know. I’m just–I don’t know. I think I’m scared, so I need to figure my shit out, and you have to figure your shit out, so let’s just take our time with this, okay? Just figure whatever you need to figure out and we’ll talk when we’re ready. And go see Star Wars with him. He adores you.” With her free hand, she pushed his hair back, watching as it fell over his forehead again, stealing a smile from her lips. “Besides, if he hates it, it’ll be a memory he’ll have with you, not me.” Scrunching her nose, Isabel made a face at him, before letting go of his hand and focusing on Zac running on the beach. “Georgia thinks they’ll be spending Christmas here with her family, so we might see him again close to Christmas. That will be nice.” She smiled, watching as Zac laughed, kicking the sand, before running back to the couple and dropping in front of them.

“I’m tired…” The little boy sighed, giggling breathlessly. “Are you two a couple like my mom and dad?” Isabel cleared her throat looking down at the sand, before shrugging and looking up at the young boy. “We are. Not like your mom and dad, because we’re not married, but we’re together. We are just–we’re pressing pause on our relationship. It happens sometimes. You know when you have a friend at school and they do something that upsets you and you don’t speak to them for a while, and you’re upset at them? And then, you slowly go back to talking to them?” Zac thought for a while and nodded. “Yeah. My friend Todd and I are not talking right now…” Isabel reached in and caressed his face. “That’s what is going on between Ernie and I.” Zac nodded, chewing on his cheek. “Did you cheat playing soccer, too, uncle Ernie? That’s not nice!”

[ernestxbunbury]

Soft, inaudible chuckles escaped him as he stared after the boy for one reason or another. Wether it was because of his own laughter or the way he moved himself around, watching the boy have fun, it was just contagious. Eerie, too, the strange, almost innate connection between them, and then he understood that, even if Jack had meant to keep Zac a secret, their paths were meant to cross and here they were. He wouldn’t have missed him had he not known of the boy, and maybe that’s why his twin decided to keep the truth from him for so many years? He shook his head to get rid of the thought, of trying to come up with explanations and excuses for his twin brother. Even if he thought he knew Jack best, the truth is he barely did and the sooner he accepted that, the sooner he would be able to just move on. “Did your parents see him?” He wasn’t sure, though, why exactly he was asking. Maybe because he wished his parents had, because he was tired of the lies—to everyone. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe. 

The moment Isabel took his hand, Ernest immediately tightened his grip on hers. Carefully not to hurt her but holding onto it as though he was falling into an abysm and that was the only thing keeping him from disappearing altogether. His eyes traded hers for their intertwined fingers, and he nodded at her words. “Time.” Even so as she brought his hand to her lips, and his throat tightened, stinging as though he hadn’t drank any water for days on, because he just wanted to scream and shout and yell to all and sundry, let the whole world know, he loved her, so much, that he would wait a thousand years if that’s what it took. But it just came out as a sigh, eyes intent on hers as she pushed his hair back, taking note of the smile on her face. A smile broke through his features as his hopes were renewed, a chuckle escaping him when the conversation turned yet again to the boy. “I see how it is.” He grinned, shaking his head as though appalled by her sinister plan, scrunching his own face in return to her expression and laughed. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t go to the dark side. I’ll do a better job than good ol’ Ben.” With a smuggish glint in his eyes, he simply shrugged as though he had just been tasked with the easiest job in the world. a genuine smile curving his lips when Isabel shared the news of possibly having Zac over again over Christmas. “I better start thinking of a present, then.”

But the moment the kid came running towards them, he shut up. He wasn’t going to go spilling the news if the kid didn’t know anything about it yet or something, taking to poke his ribs instead to see if he was ticklish or not as he dropped in front of them. “Tired?” He tickled the kid some more until he scurried away from his grasp only to paralyze him with the question. He looked from Zac to Isabel, about to jump in when she took control of the situation and answered, nodding as though echoing her words with the gesture, even if it hurt, lips pressed together as she explained where they had gone wrong. “No. I didn’t cheat.” Ruffling the boy’s sand-stained hair, Ernest offered him a quick smile. “I just called a foul play when I shouldn’t have and ruined the game for us. It wasn’t nice either. It wasn’t fair. I made a decision that I thought was the best for the team but, in truth, it just benefitted me at the moment. I haven’t apologized for it yet, not properly, so we still have to work on that, but in order to do that, we have to talk first. Have you tried talking to Todd yet? Maybe he hasn’t talked to you because he’s scared he screwed up so bad that he stands no chance.” 

Turning around, he patted his shoulders to have the kid jump on him before starting to walk back to the truck if only not to get sand in his shoes too, carrying him the rest of the way as they walked back to the parking lot. “How about we have a proper meal? I know this really good BBQ place nearby.” At the suggestion, he helped the kid off his shoulders and sat him on the tailgate so they could dust the sand off him before putting his shoes on and entering the truck. His eyes searched for Isa’s then. “If you’re hungry, that is, we don’t have to...” 

[artmania-feed]

[charlesdunne]

Ernie boy; chuck + ernest

[charlesdunne]

He wanted to laugh only because it was all so ironic that he couldn’t actually buy the whole situation. There he was talking to the spitting image of the only guy he once called his best friend, Jack and Ernie were so different through their actions, but side by side it would be like standing in front of a mirror. Now he know there wouldn’t be a reflection, because there was just Jack. “Hard to think he’s dead, but hey… I can only be thankful that fucker was part of my life. Memories, Jack. Memories are everything because the present happens faster than we want it to.” He tapped the man’s shoulder before he snapped his fingers to call the bartender back to his side again, this time asking for a beer for Jack. Truth be told, Charles would never allow himself to talk or think about Ernest, at least not sober, ever since he was young he learned not to deal with emotions, being numb seemed easier as if all of his emoticons weren’t only waiting for the moment to explode. “I’m always looking great? How would that be a lie?” He shook his head, smiling. “They like to see me as the spoiled son who will create havoc just because I can, so I’m here living up to the image they want, Jack. I’m developing my moment, so I can give the media what to talk about,” he shrugged, laughing.

Truth be told, what had become as an act, as something to make his father angry when Charles was just a teenager had became, eventually an habit. Chuck most part of the time would feel lost, never able to keep a job, but going after one so he wouldn’t need to live of his father’s money, searching for the wrong paths and keeping being who he has always been. He didn’t care if people would think it caused him to be immature, that he should be better. Being worst seemed more fun. As the bartender was back, Chuck slid the man’s drink until him. “Cheers, man.” Grabbing the bottle with what was left of his beer, he leaned so it could tilt against Jack’s drink. At this point, Charles had lost count of how many drinks had moved inside his mouth. “I would never think I would see you here, we should celebrate it, Jack. Before I leave this bar to look for more trouble, carpe diem.” He winked at him, moving the bottle up one more time to take a sip from his drink. “Carpe fucking diem,” that came as a whisper. It was all he could do right? Life was short, that he knew now.

[ernestxbunbury]

Even if he tried not to, even if Chuck’s words felt like a blow to his stomach, Ernest found himself pressing his lips together into a thin, almost imperceptible smile. Memories. And, by God, they had plenty of those the two of them. Good, bad, crazy, run-for-your-life, ass-whipping memories that cost them both detentions, time at the principal’s office, getting grounded at home. There was no stopping them back in the days, threats of having them apart if they didn’t start behaving not enough to separate them. They were young and reckless, and they shared a knack for having just too much fun. And even then, Ernest tried, he tried to keep the other man out of trouble as much as he could while he was there, lending him an ear whenever he needed it, trying to come to terms with Mr. Dunne and his son’s differences. And yet there he was, standing right in front of the man, unable to tell him the truth. How could he? 

“And what exactly are you tryin’ta give the media to talk about right now?” It would make him a hypocrite, chastising the other man for drinking his ass off on a Tuesday night, but hell. He wasn’t nearly as drunk and, after all, Chuck had called out to him anyways. Even as Jack, perhaps Ernest could have a say in it. “I don’t know, man, it just doesn’t make any sense to me. Shouldn’t you be wanting to prove him wrong instead?” Still, he laughed. He laughed just because it felt like no time had passed at all, like things hadn’t really changed much in his absence—but they had; and his friend had mourned him and he was still a liar. 

Clinking his bottle against Charles, Ernest tilted the glass before chugging some of it down. “Cheers.” It didn’t stop him, however, from signaling the bartender not to bring any more drinks their way. After all, he was trying not to fall back into this cycle. If he was going to try and get his life on track, this was the first step towards it and perhaps he should be glad that Chuck had stumbled upon him right then. “I used to come here with my brother, after all, sometimes... play some pool. Why don’t you join me for a game? Or are you too afraid I’ll kick your ass the same way he did?” There was a hint of a smirk on his face by then, a challenge, a desperate need to cling to a memory.

[isabelcasillxs]

Isabel, who usually found anything and everything that Ernie did as she got to know him better, super funny, wasn’t laughing this time. It just felt unnecessary, to tell him that yes, she did like him. Hadn’t she said that she loved him around a month ago? She wasn’t so shallow to have said that she loved him and change her mind a month after. She wasn’t a player like Jack. The thought itself made her angry. Not at Ernie or his questions… If things were better between them, she would have probably played along, but she got angry at Jack and his sick mind games who had involved not only her, but his twin brother, too. Ernest would have done everything for his twin–hell, he had even given up on his life to live Jack’s, and Isabel was more than certain that, had the roles been reversed, Jack wouldn’t have done the same. Jack was these people entire world. He was their God or something, while Ernest was just–Ernie. The sweet and caring Ernie who wouldn’t think twice in throwing himself over a grenade to protect and save the ones he cared about. Why did he have to make her all weird around him? They could be kissing right now. They could be making other people jealous with their couple attitude… but no. Instead, she was glaring at him, trying not to smile, before she rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a child.” She was, though… almost laughing and had it not been for Zac approaching them with that mistletoe, she probably would have done it.

The whole kiss ordeal was a disaster. She needed to stand her ground. No matter how much she was craving for his lips and how much she just wanted to ignore the bad parts about Thanksgiving, Isabel also knew that talking about what had happened was mandatory and that it couldn’t happen now with Zac there. The moment Ernie mentioned Jack though, the brunette frowned, finding it odd that he was bringing up his brother without the usual heaviness that he carried in his tone whenever he spoke of Jack. It felt different… a good type of different, but she didn’t mention anything, mostly because it didn’t feel right. She hopped down from the backseat and met him by the driver’s door, glancing up at him, before she smiled, welcoming Zac’s presence when the little boy hugged her legs. “It’s not me that he needs to convince. It’s his parents.” Pressing a kiss to the boy’s head, Isabel chuckled lightly when Zac grabbed both hers and Ernie’s hand and pulled them to the sand. He took off his shoes and set them beside Isabel when she sat down on the sand, not really realizing that she might get sand on his truck once they got there, and watching as Zac would run closer to the water and started picking up shells.

Pulling her legs close to her chest Isabel tried to ignore Ernie’s presence for a moment there, but who was she kidding? It was impossible for her to do so. “Do you want to go watch The Force Awakens with Zac? I still have the tickets that I bought for you and I and he really wants to see it. You can go with him, if you’d like. Since you haven’t watched it yet…”

[ernestxbunbury]

There it was. For a moment Ernest was honestly scared, the way she looked at him, almost angry, that had his grin quivering under her glare. His arms slowly unfolded from across his chest then, and just when he was about to look away, there was a spark of something familiar, the way she broke her stance and rolled her eyes at him. It was as though that one gesture, even the chastisement that accompanied it, reassured him that she still felt the same way... that they still had a chance. Even after the much too short-lived kiss, the kid’s disappointment amusing him more than anything else. If it was obvious to a child, that they had to be together, that they should be kissing, it was obvious to the rest of the world. It was obvious to him. It cost him some time to understand it, not his feelings towards the brunette or hers towards him, but that he, too, could make her happy. That he could be happy with her, just the two of them. That Jack didn’t have to be a third wheel in their relationship, or in his life. He was just starting to learn, regain his balance without his twin’s presence there, that he could lead a life of his own and that it didn’t mean forgetting or leaving his brother behind. He was starting, finally, to let go of his guilt. 

The short story shared was a proof of that. It’s not that it wasn’t hard on him to bring the other Bunbury twin into conversation but that it was starting to come easier. It helped him distinguish between them, of who Jack was and who he was. The lines had blurred and he needed to grasp back those memories that were his and not Jack’s. Ernest simply smiled as he caught Isabel glancing up at him, softly, easily, growing wider as the boy came to join them on that side of the truck and pulled them both together after him. 

“Do you think they’ll mind? The Wilsons, I mean.” Ernest asked, still standing up as Zac ran towards the shore and Isabel sat there in the sand. His eyes were on the kid for a moment, shouting for him to be careful with getting wet. After all, it was winter and they didn’t have towels with them. His hands were tucked in his jeans, taking in the view, letting the breeze hit his face, welcome it, memorizing it. The kid’s laughter, the soft splashes as he moved from side to side, skipping crashing waves, searching for shells; the way Isabel’s dark locks danced in the wind, the curve of her back as she hugged her legs. He wanted to sit down beside her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, kiss the side of her head, breathe her in. He was smiling when he joined her there, shoulder to shoulder with his knees bent, resting his arms on them as he picked a handful of sand and let it blow in the wind slowly, dropping his head somewhat when she mentioned the movie tickets and, though he chuckled quietly, he also swallowed heavily before turning his face towards her. Of course he hadn’t gone watch it yet, and somehow she knew that. The most anticipated movie of the year, one he had been waiting for for ages... one they were supposed to go watch together. “You should go with him. He’ll remember it for the rest of his life.” Ernest let his eyes linger on hers for a moment before staring forward again, following the eight-year-old along the shore. “I mean, if he ends up liking it but, I don’t know. I think, personality wise, he takes more after you than Jack so it’s likely he will. He’s a cool kid. I can take him... it’s just. We were supposed to watch it.”

[isabelcasillxs]

Isabel remained throughout their drive to the CVS. She would rather focus on the passing scenery rather than on Ernest, because it was all too hard for her to handle. His voice would still creep into her thoughts, causing her to press her eyes shut for a moment, to try and tune him out, but it was useless. She knew that she would eventually end up caving and talking to him properly, because Isabel had never really been one to hold grudges – I mean, look at how things happened between Jack and her, and if comparing both cases, at least Ernie didn’t treat her as half as badly as Jack had. Although she wasn’t one to keep comparing the brothers, in this case, she felt like it wouldn’t be that much problematic if she did so. They would talk and they would sort their things out, she was sure of it. He needed to hear how he made her feel and she needed to hear his reason for pushing her away. It was only a matter of time.

Once they arrived, Isabel let the two boys to walk in front of her, while she busied herself with her phone, since it had started buzzing inside her jacket’s pocket. Her fingers tapped fast on the screen, so focused on the silly conversation that she was having with a friend from the theater group, that she wasn’t really paying attention to where her legs were leading her. Luckily, the place wasn’t packed, so she didn’t bump into anyone, and Isabel was only brought back into reality when she heard Zac’s voice saying her name. Ernie motioned his head to call her closer to them and she put her phone away to join them. With a chuckle, she picked up the hat with Yoda ears and checked it out, before returning her gaze to Ernie. “Why do you always convince me to do these things?” Isabel shook her head, smirking at him, and for a second, her eyes stared at his lips… so pink and fleshy, that she had to clear her throat and look away, before she put on the hat. Isabel fished her phone inside her jacket’s pocket and after adjusting it to the right angle, the brunette snapped a couple of selfies. “Shouldn’t we be getting some snacks? C’mon, mister.” She hurried Zac up, before exchanging looks with Ernie again.

“He really likes you…” Isabel mentioned, while watching Zac look at some chips bags, trying to choose some for himself. “Everyone seems to like you.” She didn’t mean it in a bad way. He really had something in him that people gravitated towards him. Before she knew, Zac was back, hiding something behind his back and smirking like he was about to do something very naughty. “What you got there, buddy?” Zac laughed and showed them the mistletoe that he was now holding above his head. “Kiss! It’s tradition!” Isabel cleared her throat, biting lightly on her bottom lip. “Zac, c’mon. You said you wanted to buy snacks.” Zac shrugged, still smiling. “But now I want you to kiss.” Letting out a sigh, Isabel tilted her head to the little boy, asking, “If we kiss, will you go and pick whatever you want to take with you to the beach?” The young boy smiled, giggling, still holding onto the mistletoe and Isabel took another deep breath, before she turned around, facing Ernie and gave his lips a quick peck, even though she wished she had made her lips linger against his. Her eyes, however, were still trained on Ernie’s blue ones, though. “There… Now go pick your snacks.” Her breathing got hitched in her throat for a moment, as she kept her gaze on Ernie’s blue hues.

[ernestxbunbury]

Ernest couldn’t help his grin from widening, though he tried to keep an innocent look in his eyes as the brunette shook her head and accused him of getting his way, shrugging as he let out a quiet chuckle both at how her eyes seemed to get distracted and the way she cleared her throat and looked away. Maybe he wouldn’t have noticed had he not kept his eyes so closely on her every feature. It was impossible not to; he had missed her too much to take his eyes away now that she was standing in front of him. Still, he focused on the boy, picking him up so that his head was leveled to Isabel’s and he made a silly face as the phone took snapped the image, and then another as it kept going until he ended up laughing genuinely at the entire heist. He placed the hats back on the shelf, glancing at Isabel as she gave Zac the orders and nodded on the kid’s way. “Snacks, go get us snacks.”

Pushing his hair back in a poor attempt to get it to behave now after taking the Christmas hat off, Ernest felt his strands fall back over his forehead stubbornly. He really likes you… He turned around now, standing next to the brunette though he kept staring back after the kid with an idle smile on his face. It still nagged him to know how Jack had been able to keep him a secret all those years, and even though he wasn’t theirs to keep or claim, he was truly glad he had met him. Her next words, however, had him frowning softly. “Everyone?” His tone, though hushed, had a hint of playfulness to it as well as honest curiosity. “Including you?” He raised a brow at the question, a grin threatening to break in, when Zac came rushing to them. Ernest crossed his arms over his chest, the look on Zac’s face all too familiar. He was up to something. It was obvious in that mischievous glint in his eyes and he realized that, that, that was his. Still, he had not been expecting this, and his jaw dropped slowly in both admiration at the kid’s skills and a minor oh shit moment as Isabel cleared her throat. “A mistletoe is not snacks, Zac.” The firefighter interjected at the same time the brunette spoke, watching the kid simply shrug and smile, not fazed at all by the grownups reaction. To be honest, he was more surprised with Isabel’s own reasoning as she tried to make a deal with Zac concerning them kissing, the slight crease on his forehead making his confusion visible, yet he darted his tongue to wet his lips involuntarily as Zac agreed to the terms and she turned around. It all happened too fast, so quick that Ernie could barely even register the moment their lips had touched and he wasn’t going to push it, still looking into her eyes as she stared back at him while also telling Zac to go get the snacks. The kid, bless him, was not convinced. Neither was he, to be honest. His lips were tingling where hers had touched, begging for more as they parted once hers her no longer on his.

“That wasn’t a real kiss!” Zac called out, disappointment audible in his voice though. “He didn’t even kiss you back!” Yet he stomped his foot as he turned around to do as Isabel had said, Ernie snorting a quiet chuckle after the kid’s insistence, holding the woman’s gaze for a moment longer. “He does have a point.” He added quietly, his voice rumbling out of his throat in vibrations rather than high pitches. “That was my first kiss under the mistletoe… not that I keep a bucket list or anything but, I always thought it would last longer.”

When Zac returned with the snacks, Ernest took them off the kids hands and proceeded to the checkout, making sure to grab a bottle of water, too, before they headed back to the truck. They’d reach the beach in less than twenty minutes by then, and after setting back into pilot/co-pilot mode, it was no time before they found themselves in their destination. As he parked the truck, Ernie stared out the windshield, finding Zac’s excitement amusing. “My brother hated the beach, he wasn’t a big fan of the sand…” He didn’t mean to bring Jack into the conversation like that but it was simply a thought that escaped him out loud. He had been doing that more often now, with his parents, talking about Jack. It was a process, he was still learning to talk of him in the past tense. Still, he caught himself doing that and, before he could ruin the moment for Isabel by doing so, he broke yet another wide grin and jumped off the truck. “So one time, my mom brought us here in the summer and he didn’t want to move because, you know, he’d get sand everywhere. He ended up falling asleep and, guess what? I buried him in sand in his sleep and he was mortified when he woke up with sand, literally, everywhere.” Ripping the pack of Twizzlers open as he waited on the other side of the truck for them to hop off, Ernie started chewing on a red string. “Haven’t been here in years. Next time you visit, we could have a bonfire, go boogie boarding. Convince your aunt to let you stay in, and I’ll teach you.” That he said as he looked at Isabel, pressing his lips in an apology for intruding like that in the arrangement she had with his parents.

[isabelcasillxs]

Isabel smiled, watching as her puppy came trotting towards her, yapping happily, because there were finally more people in the house to play with her, Bel figured. But, lucky enough Nymeria was one of those puppies who was very friendly with every single soul that crossed their paths, which could be nice for some people, but not to others, considering the fact that not everyone liked pets, much less puppies. It was fine. As long as they didn’t hurt her baby, she really didn’t mind. And with Ernie it had been some kind of instant love. The small french bulldog absolutely adored the older man. She was always searching for him and would always chase after him around the house… It sometimes made Isabel slightly jealous, because, before Ernie had come into their lives, the little frenchie only had eyes for her. Now, here she was, back with one of her favorites, getting all worked up and agitated, stealing a light chuckle from Isabel’s lips when Nym came back to her. Picking her up, Bel kissed the top of her puppy’s head, while scratching behind her ears, then set her down again, because they needed to leave and if they stayed too long, Nym might get upset that they were leaving her alone.

She tried not to look into Ernie’s eyes as she walked past Zac and him, but it was hard not to. It was hard not to look at him when he was standing right there, when she had missed him so much. She didn’t want him to see that she had been crying, she didn’t want to give him the opportunity to see that he still had that much effect on him. As she turned around to lock the door, smiling as a very excited Zac offered himself to call the elevator, Isabel took a deep breath once she felt Ernie’s presence standing behind her. She turned around, noticing how dangerously close to her he was, which made her swallow hard as she looked into his eyes. His lovely, grey-ish blue eyes… The same eyes that she would often catch staring at her in such a lovingly way. “Ernie–” Her fingers were tingling. She wanted to reach around him, to wrap her arms around his waist, to lock her arms around him and never let him leave her sight ever again. She wanted to kiss him again, to feel his lips on hers, his hands warming up her skin… but it still hurt and Zac was still there. The way he tucked her hair behind her ear, taking advantage of that to caress her cheek made Isabel cave in a little. Closing her eyes at the soft touch, the brunette brushed her cheek against his fingertips, before letting out a sigh. “Now is not the time, okay?” Her voice was as soft as a whisper, but heavy on emotions, because she was tired of it all.

Stepping away from him, she joined Zac on the elevator, pulling him close to her and waiting for Ernie to join them, before they headed to his truck. She was thinking of taking her car, but didn’t complain when they just assumed they would take the truck. She hated that Goddamn truck… why hadn’t he gotten rid of it already, Jesus. Isa encouraged Zac to ride shotgun, mostly because she didn’t want to deal with his side glances towards her, besides, the young boy was a guest there. He deserved to ride on front and check out the nice scenery that Wilmington had. “The beach!” He said excitedly. It wasn’t as cold that morning as it had been lately, so the beach should be fine. Besides, it wasn’t like they would go in the water. “Aunt Isa, can I go to the fire station with Ernie tomorrow? I want to go in the trucks and wear a helmet. Pleeease?” Isabel thought about it for a moment, before nodding. What harm could it be? “That’s fine. Do you want to spend the day with Ernie tomorrow? I can pick you up after the show.” The little boy’s face lit up again, brows widening as a smile took over his features. Really??? Can I, Ernie? Pleeeeeeease? Also, can we buy some snacks on our way to the beach? I’m hungry.” Isabel sighed, shaking her head. “You could have eaten something at the house, before we left, mi amor.” She was worried that he might tell his mom that he didn’t eat at Isa’s house and it would look bad on her. “No, but I want snacks. Can we stop at Walmart or something?”

[ernestxbunbury]

The jolt he felt the moment his thumb touched her skin was vibrant. He knew the way she uttered his name had been more of a warning than anything else, but he didn’t stop himself from trying, if only for half a second, to reach out to her, to make sure she was real, she was there. Her sigh made his fingertips fall numbly from her face, both the kid’s calling and her words making him tuck his hands in his pockets and join them on the elevator. He had screwed up, yes, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try to make it right again. He wasn’t expecting it to be easy, or fast, and he wasn’t sure if he would be successful but, by God, would he try!

Don’t give her up, too.

Ernest didn’t protest when Isabel took to the backseat, Zac too eager and excited to join him. The kid, he noticed, or perhaps that was because he had just woken up from a nap, was full of energy. That definitely isn’t Jack, he thought, knowing very well he needed to stop doing that, comparing him to his biological father, picking on things here and there. Every now and then he still got lost as he looked at the boy, shaking his head back to the present when he caught himself on it. Steering the truck away from the building, they had already set on a pilot/co-pilot mode. It was easy, with the kid, almost natural, and Ernest found himself laughing easily around him—a gift, he realized, he shared with his biological mother.

Before agreeing with Zac on the beach, Ernest stole a look at Isabel through the rearview mirror, steering in the direction of the coast once that was settled. His eyes kept getting lost there, in the brunette’s reflection on the thin rectangled mirror, only looking away when he caught himself doing so and he’d opt to pay attention to the kid instead, visibly lighting up practically as much as Zac had when Isabel agreed on letting the kid spend the day with him, reaching to ruffle the boy’s hair—for what seemed to be the umpteenth time that day—, Ernie simply sent a wink his way. “You’ll have to start eating at Isa’s before stepping out, kid, snacks are not gonna substitute meals... but alright, we’ll stop at a CVS on our way to Wrightsville Beach.” 

Which they did, just off Route 74 right before crossing the bridges to the coast. Picking up a large bottle of water and some spearmint gum, Ernest followed the kid around the aisles, picking up random festive hats every now and then and trying them on Zac, snapping photographs, laughing, putting them back on the shelves, repeat. Then there was a Santa hat with Yoda ears sticking out and, turning around, Ernest tilted his head to call on Isabel. “C’mon, put it on. You know you want to...” Luckily, Zac joined in and backed him up, begging Isa to try it on as he wore a Reindeer hat himself and Ernie one with Elf ears sticking out. Take a selfie, take a selfie! The kid kept asking for the picture to be taken. “She has to wear the hat too, kid.” A mischievous grin took over his grin as Zac turned to Isa again. Aunt Isa, put it on! 

[artmania-feed]

ART PRINTS BY ALEXANDER POHL

Mercury

Venus

Earth

Mars

Saturn

Uranus

Neptune

Moon

[isabelcasillxs]

“Then fucking stop acting like him.” Isabel was quick to fire back, the words still hot in her tongue as she practically killed him with her icey glare. She didn’t mean to be mean. For God’s sake, she was never supposed to be this mean, but she was hurt and throughout all these months that they had been together, whether romantically or not, the brunette had been walking on eggshells around him, afraid that she might say the wrong thing that would upset him, after all, he had been the one who had lost a brother and all that she could do, was to point out all the shit that Jack had done to her, and to point out how blind he had been all his life. How he had sacrificed his future – and part of his past – for someone who wasn’t worth it. Not at all. For someone who, even according to his father, wouldn’t have done the same if the roles were reversed. 

She had been there. She had helped in any way that he had let her to, and yet, it didn’t seem enough. Even before, when they were just friends, it didn’t seem enough. It was almost like all of her effort had been for nothing, because he still wouldn’t have let her completely in and he still wouldn’t let her help him. The thought itself, of having waste even if it had been a month or two of her life, for yet another man who wouldn’t appreciate her the way that she deserved to, made Isabel almost want to cry, yet, she couldn’t do it in front of Ernie. She wouldn’t give him that sweet taste. She was standing close to him, and yet, was still very far away. Isabel wanted to ask him to leave. She wasn’t ready to deal with all of these emotions, but, when she was about to do so, Zac came running from her bedroom and Isa stepped back, watching the two interact. She didn’t know what it was, but there was something about Ernie… About the way he was, that drew people to him. Zac barely knew him and yet, he had asked to see the dirty-blond man almost as soon as he had arrived in Wilmington.

Darting her tongue out to wet her lips, Isabel pressed them together, forcing herself to stay focused. It was adorable–they both were. The way Ernie joked around with the curly-haired boy who looked so much like the Bunbury twins had her heart melting a little bit, but, as soon as she heard that he had been to the show, Isabel’s jaw dropped for a moment, not really knowing what to say, and having all of those mixed feelings and emotions swirling in her chest again, only made it worse. “He’s going to stay in my dressing room, getting a VIP treatment, aren’t you?” Isabel asked Zac, who nodded, and the brunette excused herself for a moment, feeling her eyes welling up already. Clearing her throat, she turned on her heels and walked to her room. The brunette paced around, not able to hold back the tears as she allowed herself a moment to cry there. She needed it. She had been holding back the tears ever since she saw him standing on her doorway, and she needed it. Those five minutes to cry, take a deep breath and recompose herself. Why didn’t he stay? Why didn’t Ernie stop and talked to her back then? They could have solved this issue so long ago. Grabbing her purse, Isabel took one last glance on the mirror and went back to the living room, where nephew and uncle were still playing around.

“Alright, Zac. Where do you want to go with uncle Ernie? We’ve got the whole afternoon.” The young boy smiled, looking from one grown up to the other. Can I stay with him while you’re in your show, aunt Isabel? She was still pressing her lips together, grabbing his jacket and helping him out with it, before she let out a sigh. “We’ll see about that, okay? Now let’s go. C’mon. Chop chop.”

[ernestxbunbury]

Then stop acting like him. The words echoed for a long time, even after Zac bursted into the room and claimed his attention, that line got stuck in his head. Stop acting like him. That was precisely what he was trying to do now. Stop acting like Jack. Stop claiming his life. It was complicated, legally impossible to be himself, completely himself, anymore, but Ernest was trying to find a way around it. He had to. Not only for her and his family but for himself, too. He had to, for Jack. Even if his brother had turned out to be someone almost unrecognizable, even if he had played them all in his manipulative and controlling mind games, they had shared a womb and an entire life together since birth. Even if Jack had hurt him, posthumously betrayed him, he loved him—maybe that was their greatest difference: one brother loved too much.

 “VIP treatment, look at that!” Ernie chimed, a phew! sound as if truly jealous at the new shed of information escaping him through a wide smirk on his face as he looked at Zac. “You’re how old? Five? And already gettin’ in with the ladies backstage! Not fair, kid. Not fair.” He was teasing the kid, mistaking the age on purpose, poking fun at the nephew he had not known of until just a couple of months ago and yet it felt as if he had known him all his life. Maybe he had. Zac looked so much like him, like Jack. The eyes. Ernest knew those eyes for they were a mirror of his own. Yet there was Isabel too. He could see it now better than he did in Maine. He had learned her mannerisms, the curve of her nose, the sound of her laughter. 

Ernest watched the brunette leave the room, scratching idly below his lower lip and chin with his fisted fingers as Zac updated him in the life of an eight-year-old since the last time they had seen each other. He had so many questions, too, and Ernie tried answering him all of them. Where do you live? What are you doing tomorrow? Do you have a dog? What do you do? Can we go to a baseball game? Let’s play soccer. And so many others, one after the other, nonstop. “I’m a firefighter. If it’s okay with Isa, I can take you to the station, go in our tallest truck, show you the city from 90 feet up.” The boy’s eyes lit with wonderment, asking if he could wear a helmet too to which Ernest assented before Nym jumped on both of them. They had taken over the couch, playfully trying to get the pup to calm down which had resulted in an impossible feat until her master’s voice had the canine running back to Isabel in her return.

It didn’t take long for him to notice, the light shade of pink in her nose though she had tried to hide it, the glimmer of tears in her eyes. His fingers were prickling, wanting to touch her, to run down the side of her face, trace her outlines, run through her hair. He hated it. All of it. He didn’t want to make her cry, he wasn’t supposed to be that brother. His hand reached the doorknob, watching as Isabel helped Zac with the jacket, lips pressed into a smile when they both joined him at the door. Waiting for them to step out before closing it behind him and, Ernest took the opportunity to do so then as Zac ran to call the elevator and he stayed there, close as the brunette locked the door to hold her gaze, barely any space between them. “It’s not fair to you, I know, but I don’t want to go on missing you forever.” He reached for a loose strand of hair, tucking it softly behind her ear so that his thumb brushed her cheek for an instant before Zac called out to them, walking with the kid to his truck once they were out the building. “Where is it gonna be, then, copilot?”

[isabelcasillxs]

It was nice, to think that nothing had truly changed between them. That he could still crack jokes, that his little charming wink would still get her all weak in the knees, but then, she would remember all the things that Jack had put her through and got scared. Isabel was struggling there. Her mental health wasn’t stable enough to let her know for sure that Ernest wasn’t going to hurt her, too. Well, he already had, but she meant in a much more manipulative way, like Jack had. Although her heart had skipped a beat when he had winked at her, and Isabel was smiling, watching Nymeria play around the man that she possibly loved the most, it still hurt. And it was still scary.

“I didn’t say you were lying.” Isa explained, crossing her arms as she took a defensive stand, furrowing her brows as she looked over at the taller man. “But that doesn’t mean that you didn’t pull a shitty act with me, Ernie.” With a shrug, the brunette continued. “You had just told me you loved me… and I had said it back. Whatever you were going through at that moment, you could have talked to me. Not once I denied help. Not once I made fun of your problems or made you think that you couldn’t count on me, so instead of letting me in, you pushed me away.” Isabel stepped closer to him, pointing to his chest. She was feeling the anger and the frustration rallying up inside her and she hated it… She hated having so little control over herself when it came to him. “I gave you everything. I told you I loved you, and you simply gave me a lame-ass excuse and told you ‘you couldn’t do it’. That’s not fair to me.”

She sighed yet again, not stepping away from where she was, looking into his eyes. “I miss you, too, Ernie. These past few weeks have been hellish to me, but I’m scared. You know… Ever since finding out the truth about you, not once I thought you would be Jack. Until Thanksgiving. Because that was a typical thing of his. Lure me in, only to push me away. I felt awful, I felt betrayed… For the first time, I felt all of those ‘I told you so’s that I fought so hard against, weighting heavily upon my shoulders, and–” Isabel turned her head towards the bedroom, watching as Zac came from there, rubbing his eyes. The young boy opened the biggest of smiles when he saw Ernie and rushed to the firefighter’s side. Ernie! I missed you! He chimed, hugging Ernie’s legs.

[ernestxbunbury]

It was funny to think such a comparable tiny person had so much hold of oneself, how in the way the brunette folded her arms across her chest and frowned at him made Ernest immediately swallow and feel so diminutive in comparison. It was impossible to take his eyes off her, even as she continued, even if he wanted nothing more than to turn back time and erase all of the past couple of weeks since Thanksgiving... hell, even the last two years if it meant he could’ve made a different decision. The question was, if he had the chance, would he? Would he be able to go another way? And what if he did? Would they still have had a chance at all? If he had been Ernest all along instead of Jack, would’ve he had the chance to tell her he loved her? 

I gave you everything. I told you I loved you... Ernest was about jump in, to repeat the words, to claim he had not stopped, not for a second. He wanted to explain himself though he was still trying to do so in his own mind. It was difficult, trying to find valid reasons, when he had no one else to help him sort himself out. His cousin had tried, his parents, now, too. He was bearing a burden far too heavy to carry on his own and the longer he kept the lie going, the worse it would get. There was no healing in sight if he didn’t forgive himself first; if he didn’t free himself of it, of guilt, of loss and pain, and regret. He needed to stop pushing people away for the fear of finding out, not only of his real name and identity but the trouble and turmoil that took over his head constantly, of how he had no control of any of it. 

She was so close, closer than she had been since Thanksgiving even if she was feet away. Ernest didn’t move but followed her every step, her pointing finger, but none of her previous words sunk and stung as hard as the moment she said she thought he was Jack. He shook his head somberly, softly as his eyes narrowed, as if he was writhing in pain from within. “I’m not Jack.” The words had been spoken before, in that road trip to Maine. He had told them to his cousin since, and his parents not too long ago, yet neither of those times had the words hurt so much as they left his throat, as though burning his vocal chords as they formed the sound to utter them. He wasn’t his brother. His brother was dead. He couldn’t bring him back. He had watched him die, his body lifeless and heavy on his arms, his blood staining his uniform. He couldn’t do anything. He was helpless. “I’m not Jack, Isabel.” He repeated, again, almost inaudible this time, pleading with his eyes for her to believe him. He wasn’t Jack. He wasn’t playing with her. He wasn’t luring her in to push her away at whim. He didn’t want to let go of her, at all, and the distance between them right now was killing him—physical and otherwise.

Zac’s voice had him clearing his throat, and though his eyes still carried the pain of the conversation, his lips widened as the kid clung to him. Fingers threading the boy’s curls, he tilted the kid’s head up before he bent his knees to give him a better look. “You’ve grown up.” With a hand, he measured them, forehead to forehead, bringing the boy into chuckles as he pointed out he was cheating because he was crouching. Ernest brought him into a hug, and though it was short-lived, the man clung to the shorter body tightly while it lasted. “Missed ya’ too, buddy.” He whispered before letting go and standing up. “You’re gonna have fun with Aunt Isa, huh? Wait ‘til you see her show. She’s... mesmerizing.” Daring to steal a look at the brunette, Ernest didn’t let his eyes linger long on hers after he admitted to having been to the showing of Heathers during the time they had been apart. “You’d need to cover your eyes through some of it, but you should. Pretty sure she’ll get to star in big numbers soon, you wanna say you saw her at the very beginning of it all.”

[isabelcasillxs]

Although she was tired, Isabel was also nervous. She wasn’t expecting to run into Ernie so early on, but she had been the one to invite him, so she had to suck it up. Well… it wasn’t so early on. It had been almost a month since they had last spoken, but considering the fact that, before that, these two had been practically living together, to Isabel, it felt like an eternity. Especially now, during winter time and the stressful weeks of the show, she missed his touch, his kind heart, his warmth. She missed the way he smelled and the way his husky voice told her sweet little jokes in the morning. She missed running her fingers through his hair and the weight of his body on top of hers. She missed their Netflix marathons and the way he would freak out whenever something happened in Supernatural. 

It was adorable. He was adorable. Until he wasn’t anymore.

Once she got his text, letting her know that he was downstairs, Isabel took a deep breath and tried not to look as nervous as she felt. Zac was still napping, but she would wake him up soon, because she didn’t want his sleep pattern to get all messed up, because then she’d have a young child all up and full of energy late at night. Isa buzzed Ernie in and  then went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, getting lost in her own thoughts for a moment there. Biting lightly on her bottom lip, she was brought back to reality when she heard the knocks on her door and, after leaving the glass in the kitchen, the brunette moved back to the living room, to open the door for him. Before doing so, she took yet another deep breath, telling herself to stop overreacting.

“Hi.” Isabel brought her bottom lip into her mouth, clearing her throat, not really knowing what to say. He looked thinner, almost like he had been sick and was only now recovering. “Ah, thanks. I don’t know if he likes Twizzlers, but I’m sure he’ll be polite enough to accept it.” Offering him a small, thin-lipped smile, Isabel stepped back, opening the door even more for him and letting him in. “You sure the Twizzlers aren’t for you?” She knew damn well how much Ernest liked those sickly sweet candies, and even though they weren’t completely fine, it felt nice to throw a little joke on his way. Except… things felt heavier again when he confessed missing her. She missed him too. More than she ever begin to tell him, but what if she let him in again? Would he simply tell her the things that she wanted to hear, only to break her heart again?

“Don’t–don’t do that, okay?” She told him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Don’t say you miss me. Not after the bullshit you pulled at Thanksgiving. Don’t give me that crap, Ernie. It’s not fair…”

[ernestxbunbury]

“Who doesn’t like Twizzlers?!” Ernest was quick to interject, the ghost of a smirk denting cheeks as he took a step inside the apartment once Isabel opened the door wider for him. It was purely on instinct that he winked on the brunette’s way when she called him out on the candy being mostly for him. Granted, he had not planned for it at all but wouldn’t it be just ideal if Zac didn’t like Twizzlers at all? Would he be impressed if he did, though? Cling to that small and possibly insignificant trait in common? It would be a lie if he said he wasn’t looking for those, the slight similarities, anything he could pick from the boy and point out to himself: there! That’s so much like Jack. That’s so much like me.

His eyes remained on Isabel, however, as she tucked the loose strand of hair behind her ear, begging him not to say another word on the matter and he simply pressed his lips together to abide her request. He missed her, though, he wasn’t lying, but the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable. No. This was his chance to try and steer them back into a somewhat different direction, not to where they were but somewhere different, better, hopefully longer lasting. His hopes weren’t so high, not right now, anyways, but he wasn’t giving up yet.

Before Ernest could say anything to try and change the topic, a yapping, overly excited Nymeria came trotting towards him. “Hey pretty gir!” He quickly bent his knees, rubbing the pup’s head, wriggling her ears, patting her as he docked his face closer to the animal who so eagerly licked him in greeting and pulled soft chuckles from the grown man. “Alright, alright.” He repeated as he tried to calm the dog down a bit but all efforts were in vain, and it was only after he managed to bring himself back up that the yapping ceased though she kept running circles around his legs. 

“We need to talk.” His eyes were still on Nym though his expression had turned more serious, attempting to take a few steps further in without tripping over the dog. “I haven’t lied to you since Maine...” It was then that Ernest looked up to the brunette again, hoping she understood what he meant. He had promised her the truth and honesty. He hadn’t lied to her. Not even when he told her he loved her. That, perhaps, had been his most honest truth. Followed by the fact that he missed her. Truly. Desperately. Painfully. “I won’t start now.”

[ernestxbunbury]

The truck was parked in front of Isabel’s building as he took a moment before stepping out. He had shed some weight in the last couple of weeks, the light cotton shirt that would cling fittingly to his muscles now hanging a bit loose, hair sticking out longer than a month ago under his Braves baseball hat, but the dark circles under his eyes were now gone. His reflection staring back at him through the rearview mirror familiar but not the same. There was something different, his eyes had lost that shine, the easy smile lines that wrinkled his face constantly whenever he was around Isabel had been missing for a while. He was tired, struggling, the heavy weight of his lie pushing him down but the support of his family helping him move forward. He didn’t deserve it. Any of it.

Texting Isabel to let her know of his arrival, Ernest found himself going up to her door, leaning against the wall after knocking, hand shoved on his jean’s front pockets. He was nervous but expectant, and though crooked, his smile widened as the brunette came into view. He didn’t move, though, taking her in. His every fiber was begging him to cross the space between them and take her in his arms, let her know he was a fool, that he had made a mistake, that he was done choosing the dead over the living, that he was willing to let go because he had known loss and he couldn’t bear a life without her—his hope, his happiness, his love. 

All of that just came out in a simple, “Hey.” Pushing himself off the wall, Ernest took his baseball cap off, setting his unruly hair free as he pushed it away from his face. You look good— he thought. Beautiful as ever. Perhaps even more so than before. Is that even possible? “I brought the kid some Twizzlers.” Or maybe that was for him but he was willing to share. Sighing, Ernest shrugged, not able to hold it any longer now that she was standing right in front of him. “I miss you, Isabel.”

{ @isabelcasillxs }

[ernestxbunbury]

Call: Moon In My Shine

Isabel: She took another deep breath. Being away from him had been taking a toll on her and Isabel was tired of it all. "Do you want to come here? I think he'll like to see you when he wakes up from his nap." The fact was that she needed to talk to him, in person, like Dan and Aleks had advised her to. She needed to tell him how she felt and she needed to hear him out, too. It wasn't fair. None of this was. And she missed him. His scent, his warmth, the softness of his touch... she missed it all.

Ernest: "Are you sure?" Maybe asking that was a mistake. What if she changed her mind? Still, Ernie stood up from the couch and walked down the hallway of his brother's house leading to his room, nothing there now but a bed, and into his walk-in closet. "I'll be there."

[ernestxbunbury]

Call: Moon In My Shine

Isabel: It took her some time to react to the news. Here she thought that she would have to keep lying to his parents for much longer -- but then again, she thought that they would still be together. "I'm glad to hear it, Ernie. It'll do you some good to stop lying to your parents. They deserve to mourn the right son." She wanted to have stopped there, but of course she didn't. Of course, Isabel continued with "I'm proud of you."

Ernest: For the first time since the call was made, Ernest let himself smile, even if small and short-lived, lips pressed together. He still had a long way to go, he still had to make her proud in other ways but this was the first step; she didn't have to carry his lie on her shoulders anymore. His grip on the phone tightened, wanting the device to disappear and have the woman standing before him instead. 'I miss you.' He wanted to say but a sigh took the words' place. "When can I see Zac? You?"

[ernestxbunbury]

Call: Skywalkernie

Isabel: Isabel pressed her eyes shut for a moment there. US. He shouldn't be using that word if he wasn't going to commit to it. She was still distracted and upset with the whole 'us' thing, that Isabel wasn't paying much attention, so she ended up asking "Told them what?" Only to realize that he meant telling his parents the truth. "Oh. Um... how did they take it?"

Ernest: "Everything." There wasn't much else to say but the one word carried all the heaviness of what the truth meant, to him, to his family. It was something he had to do for his own sanity, and he had not cared much about it before until losing it also entailed losing Isabel. "Not good at first, but we're working on it. I'm trying to make things right this time. It may be too late, but I'm done hiding."

[ernestxbunbury]

Call: Skywalkernie

Isabel: The brunette pressed her lips together, waiting for him to say something, but silence was all that she got. Isabel was about to hang up when he spoke again. She wanted to be strong, to tell him that there was nothing worth his call, but her curiosity got the best of her. Damn it, her damn soft heart. "Oh? Uh... about what?"

Ernest: "About us." He answered right away, not even sure if he had the right to say 'us' anymore, not even sure if there even was an 'us' anymore. "I told my parents."