Hiding In Plain Sight @error404pagecannotbefound - Tumblr Blog

[Art Post]

Here's the first batch of pixel art dedicated to 80's nostalgia songs.

I know I am loved, but sometimes I just can't feel it.

twenty-eighteen

I’m going to be downright honest here: from a superficial review of my year, it seemed as if 2018 was my worst year yet. I have to remind myself that this is an annual sentiment, especially when I don’t sit down to truly evaluate the year that has passed.

Beneath the suspicion of 2018′s goodness and wonder, I know how well I have been treated by whatever powers I still believe in. So here’s a monthly review to remind me of the good and the great:

JANUARY

passed the DCAT (AB-CAM)

passed the ACET (AB COM)

started my last semester in UPIS (shet eto na talaga???)

FEBRUARY

received a notification about getting 500 likes on Tinder HAHAHAHA

mounted our last #MCLive as #MC2018

went to UP Fair Cosmos 2018 and finally heard Munimuni and Ben&Ben live!

Attended my cousin’s wedding (where I looked hella good heh)

Opened a bank account (#adulting)

MARCH

Interned at M&P!! (learned a lot and realized where I could plant myself and make roots)

Traveled to Laguna with the family during Holy Week!!!!

Decided that it was finally time to move on (with a letter na hindi naman na-send to boot HAHAHA)

APRIL

Watched a movie on my own for the first time!! (I watched Never Not Love You pls don’t judge me HAHAHHA)

Got nominated for indiv awards for Parangal 2018 but got rejected for all of them hahaha

Produced a video and teaser for MC Channel!!!!!!

Received my grad pics (totoo na talaga!!)

Passed the UPCAT!!!! BA Broadcast Communication, wouldju bilib? (sa wakas, my family can finally say “lahat kami taga-UP” because it’s now true huhuhu)

MAY

Received an award for best thesis with my fellow thesis kweens!!

Received an oven from my parents (haha ang aga but what the hell, this is bitch is baking!!)

Had our last #MC2018 party (what a ride it has been with these people and I am thankful for the home we have built huhu)

Made videos for my brother for some summer cash hahaha (waw is this my future as a BC student HAHAA)

JUNE

Attended a photog workshop!!

GRADUATED AFTER 6 YEARS IN UPIS!!! (I started off hating my new school before I was even accepted but ended with a love for my alma mater which will surely bring me back no matter how far I go.)

Attended my Grad Ball (from Eastwood to Katip real quick HAHAHAHAHA PERO SARADO NA PALA WALRUS SO ANEK???)

JULY

Registered for my first sem in UP waaaaah

Caught up on all the books that I put on hold for goodness knows how long

AUGUST

STARTED MY FIRST SEM IN UP!!!!

Decided to run for FST council (hahah kala ko ba pagod ka na, H?)

celebrated my grandfather’s 90th birthday!!!!!!

Found myself missing my friends but also made new ones hehe

SEPTEMBER

Performed during our Culminight and realized I liked to perform (if I could muster enough courage haha ty to my blochandlers, UP SAMASKOM!!!!)

Watched Anim Na Tauhang Naghahanap ng May Akda with Sneakies

Attended my first rally and realized that my silence gives no comfort to others

Applied for UP BroadGuild!!

Had a mini-reunion with HS batchmates

OCTOBER

Celebrated my 19th with the sneakshitsss and my bloc mates waaah <3

Became a member of UP BroadGuild (huhu I love this org so much?????)

Went to UPM instead of attending an ACLE HAHAHAHA

Went to Kidzania during Adults’ Night with my brother HAHAHA

NOVEMBER

Facilitated Tagisan 2018 with BroadGuild!! (My first event as a mem!!)

Watched The Dressing Room!!

Survived hell week huhuhuhu

DECEMBER

Closed my first semester in UP with a 1.1 GWA (Univ Scholar si bacclaaaaaaa)

Drafted the Konse Constitution with my councilmates!!

Traveled to Cebu, Siquijor, and Negros Oriental with my family!!

MISCELLANEOUS (wow parang school fees lang????)

almost daily lunches with my blocmates!

nights out with my HS batchmates and barkada

random catching up in hallways haha

lunches with people I haven’t seen in months/years

lots of takoyaki hahaha

random landi na di nagtagal but I had fun anyway, sana sila rin charot hahahahaahahahhaa

visits to my Eng/Fil Dept moms and titas in UPIS HAHAHA

hosted different events!!!

baked goods!! (and the datung I got from selling my baked goods haha)

new music, books, and films!!

a shit ton of selfies

pictures from my travels and what not

In hindsight, the only thing I was missing in 2018 was an attitude of thanks. 2018 was a great year, but it took a bit of reflection to realize that. Shit happened. I learned more than I thought I could in a year. But despite (and because of) everything, I want to give thanks for every bit of good that I have been given the pleasure of experiencing in 2018.

This 2019, I start the year with an understanding that happiness is fleeting. It is a luxury I can only borrow and not own. This gives me hope that I may learn to love things as they are in my grasp and not try to keep what has already gone. I pray that I may learn to have joy beyond fleeting happiness. I pray that I may give thanks before it’s too late.

Happy New Year, self! You have yet to give back to the world. 😊

#2018 #good bye #hello #happy new year #in review

I'm so sorry

It always seems like you're waiting for an apology. I am sorry I am not what you want me to be. I am sorry I am not a perfect copy of you. But most importantly I am sorry that I can't meet the expectations you set for yourself, all those many disappointments ago.

Tangina gets ko na yung mga taong ang tanging rason na lang para mabuhay ay para hindi maging perwisyo sa iba. Ang futile ng existence. Ang hirap i-shift nung perspective mula sa “mamamatay din naman tayong lahat kaya sana hindi na lang ako magising” to “mamamatay din naman tayong lahat, sulitin na natin habang buhay pa.” It’s such a goddamn struggle. Sending love to all u brave souls who are going through something similar. Laban lang.

pagod na pagod na ako sa sarili ko tama na, H nakakapagod na

I am absolutely terrified of what is to come, but fear has never been considerate.

Pagbigyan niyo na ako walang may paki sa akin sa pamilya ko hahay #Gradu18

I can't find You anymore. And it scares me because I am okay with that.

I say this with the most love and respect for you, my dear:

Let us be.

For so long, we have dragged this romance on and allowed it to tear us apart. In truth, I no longer remember what it is that I found in you. I remember parts of you, but they are always tied to things I wish to forget. Laughter is a memory of pain. Beauty is a reminder of destruction. Love brings absence along. We are no longer who we once were.

And that’s okay.

I have seen you soar and I have seen you plummet. And through all this, I loved you. But a single letter means the difference between staying or going when I am no longer what you need or want. I am happy because time has allowed us to stay in each other’s orbits for so long, but we have been denying ourselves the freedom to let go. We have outgrown one another and I no longer ask the universe if we can still be together. I only ask it to stop giving us reasons to try.

You are on your way to forgetting me. I used to stand in the midst of our twosome, thinking it was still home. No, I do not reside in your presence anymore, but I do remember every moment in it. It is always a bittersweet feeling, to leave home so abruptly, but this is how we make roots elsewhere.

Please do not mistake this as bitterness. Every word is written with love – and acceptance. I am happy to see you grow. I am happy to see you go. I honestly believe that the heavens have given their blessing to this departure, that the stars you so religiously believe in have aligned for this parting.

I pray for your utmost happiness. I pray you receive the love I never gave and will never be able to give. I pray that you continue to love others as you have loved me, maybe a little more. I pray that you remember me, but sparingly.

Thank you for everything. I love you no longer.

#personal #good bye #thank you