THIS IS AN ARCHIVE . FIND ASTRID ON @erzmagier .
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@erzmagier-a
THIS IS AN ARCHIVE . FIND ASTRID ON @erzmagier .
vengeance is mine ; i will repay . / independent and selective astrid becke , written by katie ( she / they , 24 , white ) . template , fanart .
vengeance is mine ; i will repay . / independent and selective astrid becke , written by katie ( she / they , 24 , white ) . template , fanart .
vengeance is mine ; i will repay . / independent and selective astrid becke , written by katie ( she / they , 24 , white ) . template , fanart .
vengeance is mine ; i will repay . / independent and selective astrid becke , written by katie ( she / they , 24 , white ) . template , fanart .
vengeance is mine ; i will repay . / independent and selective astrid becke , written by katie ( she / they , 24 , white ) . template , fanart .
vengeance is mine ; i will repay . / independent and selective astrid becke , written by katie ( she / they , 24 , white ) . template , fanart .
vengeance is mine ; i will repay . / independent and selective astrid becke , written by katie ( she / they , 24 , white ) . template , fanart .
maybe i am thinking about moving astrid to a full standalone. what About it
A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in 🌱
I hope some gardening and time helped Astrid and Wulf atone and find their peace too.
JESTER ASKS : between the fireplace and her position on the couch – almost curled up on herself, head resting against astrid’s shoulder – it hadn’t taken her long to drift off into a light sleep while the other read, her own book discarded on her lap. when she finally awakes it’s with small movements, a slow stretch of her tail before it relaxes over astrid’s thigh, a gentle roll of her shoulders and a series of fluttering blinks as she regains her surroundings, tilting her head to look up. just as softly she pushes closer to place a kiss to astrid’s cheek before finding a home in the crook of her neck with a hum that could almost be a purr. “ you know you don’t have to finish a book just ‘cause you’ve started it, right? you can sleep sometimes. i won't tell. ”
astrid hadn’t known what to do when jester had fallen asleep against her – not as if she’d never been used as a human pillow before , of course , but it’s . . . been a while , and @diviinedevilry is not a usual suspect of hers in this regard , even if she’s long since given up having any preexisting expectations for jester’s behavior . at least her arms are not obstructed , and she can still turn the pages as she pleases . she keeps her shoulder still , out of some level of respect for jester that she cannot help but to keep , but astrid quickly gets absorbed back into her research , and only realizes how long it’s been when jester starts to stir , and she sees that that fire is burning low . the kiss to her cheek comes just as she was closing her book to give the fire ( and jester ) her full attention , and she only closes the book slightly more firmly than intended . a kiss to the cheek shouldn’t rattle her so , but jester lavorre has a habit of getting under astrid’s skin – for better or for worse . “ i do sleep , ” she defends , giving jester a bit of a look , though with the softness still lingering from the kiss it veers dangerously close to a pout . “ my research was just starting to get interesting . ”
EADWULF ASKS : sender pulls the receiver up for a dance in order to have a private conversation away from the crowds.
astrid goes into his arms without a moment of hesitation , going so far as to allow @rabespricht to take the lead . a rare occurrence , to be certain , but they have to make sure not to draw eyes – not with the mission they’ve come here to accomplish , and the conclusion of today’s chosen chapter so close at hand . judge , jury , executioner , dancer – they were taught to adapt to any situation at hand , and it’s an easy mindset to allow herself to step back into . a necessary one , given the task that she and wulf have taken upon themselves .
she allows herself a few seconds – one , two , three , four , five – to simply exist in eadwulf’s arms , to be once with the dance and present in a way that she hasn’t been since childhood . and then it’s time to work again , astrid’s head falling to eadwulf’s chest in an outward showing of affection , though it moreso serves the purpose of making it easier to talk to him without her lips being read -- even though zemnian is a language harder and harder to find the further from farm country they go . “ you saw her too . ” it isn’t a question . they’re both too well - taught to not notice their target . “ we leave after she does . it doesn’t seem as if she came here with anyone else , but that doesn’t mean she’ll leave alone . ”
richard siken sentence starters.
quotes are all taken from various poems out of richard siken’s poetry book crush. feel free to change pronouns/etc if needed.
❝ tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us. ❞
❝ tell me we’ll never get used to it. ❞
❝ there are so many things i’m not allowed to tell you. ❞
❝ i swallow your heart and it crawls right out of my mouth. ❞
❝ i want it back now, baby. i want it back. ❞
❝ i’m sorry. we know how it works. the world is no longer mysterious. ❞
❝ that’s a nice touch. ❞
❝ i like him and i want to be like him. ❞
❝ i’m sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart. ❞
❝ history repeats itself. ❞
❝ there are many names in history, but none of them are ours. ❞
❝ you could drown in those eyes. ❞
❝ but damn if there isn’t anything sexier than a slender boy with a handgun, a fast car, a bottle of pills. ❞
❝ sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine. ❞
❝ i couldn’t get the boy to kill me, but i wore his jacket for the longest time. ❞
❝ you wanted happiness, i can’t blame you for that, and maybe a mouth sounds idiotic when it blathers on about joy but tell me you love this, tell me you’re not miserable. ❞
❝ there is no way to make this story interesting. ❞
❝ i want to tell you this story without having to confess anything, without having to say that i ran out into the street to prove something. ❞
❝ tell me we’re dead and i’ll love you even more. ❞
❝ you will be alone always and then you will die. ❞
❝ i’m sorry i came to your party and seduced you and left you bruised and ruined, you poor sad thing. ❞
❝ who am i? i’m just a writer. i write things down. ❞
❝ i take it back. ❞
❝ here is the repeated image of the lover destroyed. ❞
❝ you still get to be the hero. ❞
❝ what more do you want? ❞
❝ love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. it’s like a religion. it’s terrifying. ❞
❝ no one will ever want to sleep with you. ❞
❝ you know that recently we have had our difficulties and there are many things i want to ask you. ❞
❝ you had not expected this. ❞
❝ walk a mile in my shoes. ❞
❝ a man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river but then he’s still left with the river. ❞
❝ you are weak and hollow and it doesn’t matter anymore. ❞
❝ hush, my sweet. these tornadoes are for you. ❞
❝ that sounds overly valorous. ❞
❝ do you love yourself? ❞
❝ i don’t have to answer that. ❞
❝ you wanted more. ❞
❝ i had a dream about you. ❞
❝ there’s nowhere to go. there’s nowhere to go. ❞
❝ in these dreams it’s always you: the boy in the sweatshirt, the boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me from jumping off the bridge. ❞
❝ will you love me even more when i’m dead? ❞
❝ you didn’t show up. i kept waiting. ❞
❝ i swallowed crushed ice pretending it was glass and you’re dead. ❞
❝ i don’t really blame you for being dead but you can’t have your sweater back. ❞
❝ you can sleep now, you said. you can sleep now. you said that. i had a dream where you said that. thanks for saying that. you weren’t supposed to. ❞
❝ hello darling, welcome home. ❞
❝ please keep him safe. ❞
❝ i just don’t want to die anymore. ❞
❝ you want to die for love, you always have. ❞
❝ you didn’t think you’d feel this way. ❞
❝ you saved my life. i owe you, i owe you everything. ❞
❝ please, just for one night, will you lie down next to me, we can leave our clothes on, we can stay all buttoned up. ❞
❝ you’re all i ever wanted and worth dying for, too. ❞
❝ drive into that tree, drive off the embankment. ______, make something happen. ❞
❝ we are not dirty. ❞
❝ you keep singing along to that song i hate. stop singing. ❞
❝ here is the sink to wash away the blood. ❞
❝ this is not harmless. you are not breathing. ❞
❝ i will come back from the dead for you. ❞
JESTER ASKS : sender briefly lifts the receiver up in the air while spinning during a dance together.
dancing with @chaoshe hadn’t been exactly . . . planned . but jester is a good dancer , a good partner , and so different from the two other partners that she’d been so accustomed to for so long , though both in memory more than anything else . bren is gone forever and asking to dance with wulf would open the shared wound of bren’s absence even more than they usually endure . but astrid has always liked to dance — the little girl in blumenthal standing on her father’s feet — the teenager in rexxentrum bouncing between her two partners or watching them dance together , or the three of them attempting some approximation of the dance with three bodies with more laughter than sense — and now a grown woman , her only dances since her teenage years being for assignments , or when caleb ( not bren , she has to remind herself , caleb ) had wanted something impossible to get without insider help .
but jester is not her boys , whatever of her boys remains now . and jester is a good dancer too — differently trained than what astrid is familiar with , but talented nonetheless , and enthusiastic in a way that astrid isn’t certain that she’s ever been , enthusiasm that encourages , endorses spontaneity .
and speaking to spontaneity , mid - spin jester’s arms tighten around her waist , both taking the lead and lifting astrid off of the ground for the rest of the turn . her hands quickly find jester’s shoulders to support them both as she goes up , surprise evident in dark eyes even as her body knows what to do . jester is both smaller and stronger than her — though perhaps that follows logic , as rarely as jester ever does something like that .
when astrid’s feet find the wooden floor again , she lets jester keep the lead — lets jester take control of the dance for a little while longer , as she can’t help but to laugh , surprise and a hint of delight coloring her tone .
Having an astrid moment
you can’t be all bad
MOLLYMAUK ASKS : sender extends a hand to the receiver, wordlessly asking for a dance.
she stares at the proffered hand for a long second , a quirked brow as she thinks it through . more harm can be caused by a dance than it feels like it should -- but @moondrrops has never demonstrated that kind of direct malice , even if most of astrid’s life has been spent reading into others’ behavior .
but . . . fuck it . astrid takes their hand , allows herself to come close enough to them to assume the proper posture . “ do you know how to dance , mollymauk ? ” she asks , half goading and half genuine .