esom

[esoms-thoughts]

Oh, you're basically telling me to read you, right? Well, you did a really good job at convincing me, and now I just finished your first quarter. Can't lie tho, I'm hooked. Let's enjoy our company, okay?

[esoms-thoughts]

I love it here, a coffee and a book as my company. Just me and my imagination drifting through those pages, feeding me emotions, helping me understand how being an island is not a bad thing, how love is for everyone, and that everyone deserves happiness.

[esoms-thoughts]

My sister, her friends and I were just laughing since we are having a good time, and my father labeled me as "malandi" just because of my laugh. He said that I should stop. He's a homophobe himself, and he didn't change even thou he's got three children that are members of LGBT. He always call gays in television, in person, anywhere, as disgusting. And I think he's disgusted in me too, not unless I have money to give him. I'm not discreting the hardships and sacrifices that he did for our family, in fact I'm so proud of him and ready to fight to whoever who's looking down on him. But I don't think I can continue loving him since he's continuously looking down on me, showing me how disgusting I am, making me feel like I'm not needed. This family's draining my energy, my will to live, and my happiness.

If I became a parent someday, I promise I won't be the same as my father.

[daikonsenpai-deactivated2022041]

🎆~A HanaNene New Years~🎇

[esoms-thoughts]

Cutie

[esoms-thoughts]

So, I went to my sister's place 4 days ago. And it also took 4 days for my brother to ask me when I'll come back. The thing is, if its either my older brother, sister, and younger brother who left to go someone's place, my parents will ask them like 10 mins after leaving, asking them their situation, if they've reached their destination, and such. Whereas me, I never received one from my parents, not even a single text or call. Why, why is like that?

[esoms-thoughts]

Experienced this since I was young, and up until now. This has taken a toll on my mental health, made me feel too doubtful of my capacities, my confidence, and my love for myself. A schoolmate once asked me, "why are you always looking down?", I never realized that I'm always looking down even whatever am I doing and whenerer I am. I also want to be feel like I'm beautiful. I know people say that being pretty in the inside is what's important, but is it too much to ask to feel beautiful, to feel accepted by the society. I wanna be me, but is being me enough?