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tw sh ventblog, 17 i’m kinda unfiltered on here sorry

[estranged-ghosts]

intro post yayay!

hello, call me Lovely! or Vee, either works

please be warned. if you are triggered by the topic of $h or sui talk, please do not interact with this blog. please take care of yourselves

disclaimer that this is my ventblog (as stated in my bio) so it will contain me yapping about my problems and being stupid and feelings and blah blah without filter (most of the time)

this is a secondary blog which means i can’t do certain things (which really pmo, grrr)

so apologies to people who want to be moots, i can’t follow back or like posts (but i am still able to interact so if i jumpscare you mb, i like to lurk 👻)

dm’s are open! i’m just not the best at responding so pls bare w me

٩( ᐛ )و Basics!

Pronouns: she/her, they/them (any works too i don’t really mind)

Bday: nov 6!

Nationality: Filipino-American (shout out to my fellow swagapinos🗣️‼️)

interests: books, fanfic, journaling, history, antique stores and jewelry, poetry, photography

A little background:

this blog was originally going to be a writingblog where I vented out my feelings through a Magnus Archives/Universe City(Radio Silence)–esq type of narrative. from the very start this was a ventblog

so if you scroll all the way down, you’ll find some pretty lengthy, probably confusing and DRAMATIC, posts (it’s lowkey embarrassing let’s laugh at it together)

i was kind of hyped to plan everything out but then life got too hard and now it’s just a regular vent blog lol.

i am an anxious person overall. but when I’m comfortable, sometimes i can be a little too much (which i’m really sorry abt, sometimes i don’t realize it. please feel free to talk some sense into me lol)

i get nervous talking to people irl and online, so i’m sorry if i come off a certain way, just know i waS most likely screaming behind the screen while typing

but yeah that’s my intro post! ty for reading (sorry for the rambling), hope you have a good day!

pfp credits: passionpeachy on ig and twt

[estranged-ghosts]

i have relatives sleeping over and my family’s love language is literally food and eating and i’m already failing how tf am i gonna survive send in the troops NOW

[estranged-ghosts]

“why aren’t you talking” my THROAT IS FUCKED UP, WHY WOULD I WANT TO TALK??

[estranged-ghosts]

almost puked over a quiz, feeling ass ✌️

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holy fuck bro i forgot i had a quiz worth 50 points due tonight and i just remembered it JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP. ABOUT 9 MINUTES BEFORE IT WAS DUEWHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK

I TRIED TO ANSWER AS BEST AS I COULD I KNOWNI WOULDNT FINISHBIT BUT ID LIKE TO HAVE GRT AT LEAST HALF OF THE QUESTIONS

AND I DID. MY 97% WENT DOWN TO 88%. THIS IS MY FINAL GRADE FOR THAT CLASS.

i’m fine w a B but omfg i was panicking so hard

I GENUINELY FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO THROW UP WHILE ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS. IM SWEATING BC OF THIS WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME

[bumblebeeboy44]

$H Scarrs are so pretty like not in a sexy way because that’s WEIRD (I recently got DMed about that🤢)

But just like actually pretty and sometimes when they’re like I really shiny it just makes me giggle

[estranged-ghosts]

first time in a while i’m feeling hungry

i was confused at first then i was like ohhhh

i need to lock in frfr

i can be better than this

[estranged-ghosts]

wondering if i should just fuck everything and start cvtting on my thighs again knowing ill be going swimming during the summer and the marks will be there

but maybe they’ll be faint by then?? if i do tiny ones??

the urge is kinda strong tonight i hate myself

[estranged-ghosts]

wtf was i on yesterday

[bumblebeeboy44]

you know when you do like really like cat scratches and then it kind of stings for a few days after why is that? I mean like it was so tiny. How can it hurt that bad?

they are great for slapping though ┐(￣ー￣)┌

[estranged-ghosts]

i got so used to having people as a distraction i almost forgot i hate myself

i need to cvt so BADDDDD

[estranged-ghosts]

i feel like i’m being ignored

my online friend introduced me to their friends i genuinely felt like i had people i could have fun w and be honest w

but now it just feels like i’m being ignored since no one’s acknowledging me

which is probably my own fault. i haven’t been active, esp when it’s been a hard few weeks for everyone

so maybe that’s why and im just getting a taste of my own medicine

and it’s dumb i’m getting upset over this. when i get upset over the things i perceive abt my friends it just makes me want to ghost them and disappear.

it gets me upset when people just blatantly ignore me. like excuse me, am i on fucking mute or what? i get ignored by classmates everyday and im getting ignored by friends too i guess

like i already havent been talking much. so if im being ignored i dont see a point in forcing people to acknowledge me

i haven’t felt this upset in a while, it’s kinda comforting. just shows the feeling hasn’t left me completely

[estranged-ghosts]

can’t tell if the clothing just went down in quality or if i actually lost enough weight for me to go down a size

[estranged-ghosts]

being a junior is so strange bc i’m constantly being told that i need to decide on my future

in a month i’ll be a senior, and i’ll have to take these questions seriously

when this whole time I can’t even imagine a future for myself besides like,, cvtting or smth

[estranged-ghosts]

i was bribed with food today like the pig i am

i’m disgusting

[estranged-ghosts]

did a little on my leg close to my feet and i feel like it’s a decent spot

bc who’s gonna be looking at my feet and i can just wear socks

[estranged-ghosts]

i was baking and i was handling cherries

i got cherry juice all over my hands and arms and some of it lowkey look like cat scratches

i wish i can cvt everywhere and not have to hide it