“…I understand.” All too well. Hadn’t that been why his mother, why Virna, had stayed? For him. Came back. A child that wasn’t even hers. Even though she was unhappy with her marriage, her life, she endured it all for the sake of him. Let it take a toll on her mental health. Until it became too much. The idea of Topanga going through something like that…
He noticed that she and Cory had been growing apart. While she had grown up, he really… hadn’t. Maybe she still loved him, but wasn’t in love with him? He didn’t presume to know how she felt. It was the type of love you felt for someone who was in your life for so long, such a big part of it… but there was no real romantic feeling. Again, he thought of Virna. “…You’re my friend too. I care about his feelings too, yeah, but sometimes… they’re not always valid. You need to do what’s best for you, what’s best for your baby. Topanga, I love you. Both of you.” Nice clarification, there. “There’s nothing more important to me than seeing to it that your baby grows up feeling…”
It wasn’t even his kid, but he didn’t want them to grow up with anything resembling the home life that he had. They wouldn’t, of course. Cory and Topanga were two different people. Their situation was different, but. “I’m going to do everything I can to see to it that you have a good life, a happy life. Both of you. Hopefully, Cory will… he may not be rational, not at first. When push comes to shove though, you know he’ll do whatever he can to make sure that you’re okay. Both of you. The real concern comes from whether or not he’ll respect your decisions… cause you any extra, unneeded stress. I’ll talk to him, I’ll try to mediate, but… I’m on your team here. Let me make that clear.” Giving a weak smile, he pressed a kiss to her temple.
“Historically he’s never really been so good at respecting my wishes.” She points out, her voice carrying something bitter in it that surprises her. “He thinks we’re meant to be. He believes in us even though there nothing left to believe in. Any other woman would be so happy to have this kind of love being thrown at her. Fuck, maybe I’m just broken or something.” A laugh bubbles out of her throat as she shakes her head. “Why couldn’t I have just had an affair or something? Then I could tell him the baby isn’t his and I could leave and he might actually give up on us. I mean shit, he was able to cheat on me twice, couldn’t I have had one stupid night?”
Realizing she’s starting to rant again, Topanga takes a few deep breaths and realizes she hasn’t said the most important thing. “Thank you. You’re a good friend, Shawn Hunter, I’m glad to have you on my team. Even though in nine months one third of this team will be a crying poop machine.” This time when she laughs it’s genuine despite how soft it is.
Putting her arms around him gives her reason to pull herself closer. He smells familiar and feels warm. His heart beating against her ear as she holds on is a reminder that she’s not alone. “I’ll tell him soon. I won’t ask you to hold onto this secret for too long. But do you think maybe I could stay with you for a bit after? I’d find an apartment before I tell him...but I just want it done sooner rather than later. I promise it won’t be for very long. As soon as I find a place I’d be out of your hair.”
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