Welcome to my blog! My name is Ale and I mainly write for Austin Butler (his characters).
EDITS
SERIES:
AUSTIN AND ME (Austin Butler)
Summary: Cynthia believes that she will have a fairytale life besides Austin. She couldn’t be more wrong. As she faces the real difficulties of marriage and she understand how no one is perfect.
FAMILY TREE (Feyd Rautha)
Summary: After Lady Jessica betrayed the Bene Gesserit by giving Duke Leto a son, she tried to make amends with the sisterhood by giving them a daughter— Arya.
ONE-SHOTS
STAR (Peyton Leverett x reader)
Summary; You help Peyton out on his new film project, but things take a turn for the best once he discovers what you, his little star, could do.
PUBLIC RELATIONS (Austin Butler x reader)
Summary: Things haven’t been going well since the birth of your baby and PR is chasing you guys’ asses to make it work.
LOVER, YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN (Austin Butler x reader)
Summary: After their divorce, Austin and you find each other again. And you catch up.
GOOD MEN DIE TOO (Benny Cross x reader)
Summary: Danny finally gets to sit down with you and hear about Benny.
STRANGERS (Cowboy!Austin x reader)
Summary: If you talk to strangers, you’ll fall in love. You learned it the hard way.
PURE (Priest!Austin x reader)
Summary: The priest at church makes sure you sin, all because he thought you were an innocent lamb.
GIRLFRIEND (Sebastian Kydd x reader)
Summary: You and Sebastian get alone. You never liked how Carrie treated him anyways.
GASLIGHT (Austin Butler x reader)
Summary: Photos of him and a model go viral online. You confront him.
THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED (Austin Butler x reader)
Summary: You’re heavily pregnant and discover a horrible truth about your husband.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, PLEASE DONT CALL (Austin Butler x reader)
Summary: Austin never defended you against the hate comments about your body. Now he wanted you to forgive and forget.
VENUS (Austin!elvis x reader)
Summary: You and Elvis celebrate your first wedding anniversary.
SWEETHEART (Austin Butler x reader)
Summary: You and Austin play Elvis and Priscilla, and blow off some steam in the makeup trailer.
A NONSENSE CHRISTMAS (Austin Butler x reader)
Summary: Austin hates your Christmas parties, but he does like fucking you when the guests arrive.
LACY (Courtier!Austin x Queen!reader)
Summary: You are the Queen, and you take a liking for a young courtier.
ITS TOO LATE (Austin x reader)
Summary: Austin and you try to rekindle your marriage by going back to the place you grew up in.
DISEASE (Prince!Austin x reader)
Summary: Turns out it’s not so hard to get a prince to fall for you.
SOAKED (Austin x reader)
Summary: You help Austin relax in the shower.
LEAVE (Benny Cross x reader)
Summary: You finally decided to stand up to Benny, it doesn’t work out the way you wanted.
LIGHTS, LABOR, ACTION! (Austin x reader)
Summary: Your baby decided to be the star of your own film.
summary. just two months after giving birth to austin's daughter, you tell him the news that, as impossible as it sounds, you are pregnant again.
starring. austin butler x wife!reader
tags & warnings. established marriage, age gap, pregnancy, kids, mentions of sex, domestic fluff, humor/crack, romance.
word count. 3.5k
note. i've had this since december, but i decided to post it now. i think it's a good way to start february. i hope you enjoy it! <3
the first thing you feel when you wake up is that delicious ache between your legs that you've grown so familiar with. it brings back memories of last night: hours filled with gasps and moans, a bed transformed into a nest, and four walls as witnesses to a love that went from a casual encounter to a pillar of strength. the second thing you feel is austin's arm around your waist, his big, possessive hand on your skin as if, even asleep, he knew you belonged to him. the third thing you feel is the softness of the sheets and the touch of your bare skin against the smooth silk, the light, almost ghostly caress the fabric blows over your aching body. and the last thing you feel makes you curse inwardly.
you close your eyes tightly and wrinkle your nose, resisting the urge to groan in frustration, though you're not really frustrated, just irritated and tired, because you've felt this for two months and you know you'll continue to feel it for much longer. your breasts hurt. god, seriously. if it were austin's fault, you wouldn't complain, but it's breastfeeding's fault, and it's as if your patience and energy are being tested by your own body.
you move a little, barely, but the soft touch of the fabric against your swollen, sore nipples makes you wince briefly. you lie still for a moment, staring at the ceiling; the baby monitor is silent, so you know you don't have to get out of bed, but your breasts say otherwise. in your case, the only downside to being two months postpartum is that your breasts are painfully full of milk every morning.
other than that, your short postpartum period has been all about sex, so it really could be worse. maybe you shouldn't even complain, because thankfully you're handling these months much better than most mothers, but you're stubborn and sometimes capricious, and right now you're really sleepy, so you complain anyway.
trying not to wake austin, you shift gently, carefully loosening his grip on your waist, but austin is austin, and his hand on your waist instinctively tightens, prompting you to turn your head to look at him. he seems more asleep than awake, but he refuses to let go.
"where are you going?" he asks, his voice raspy and sleepy, his blue eyes clouded with sleep, his brow adorably furrowed in confusion.
your irritation vanishes instantly, and your expression softens at the sight, before you smile gently and lean in to kiss his lips and forehead, your hand gently stroking his cheek. austin is beautiful, but he's especially adorable when he doesn't want you to get out of bed; his furrowed brow, his confused and sleepy eyes, his messy hair, and that little bump on his lower lip, a barely visible pout, makes you want to pull him close and hold him tight.
and he looks gorgeous, but your breasts are killing you.
"i need to pump." you whisper, wrinkling your nose slightly, trying to wriggle free from his grasp. "they're so full."
austin is silent for a moment, processing your words, before letting out a soft "oh." and immediately releasing you with a sympathetic nod.
"do you need me to help you?"
his concern melts your heart despite the awkwardness. "no, love, i can do it myself."
"okay." he mumbles sleepily, rolling over onto his stomach, ready to go back to sleep. "go take care of those beautiful tits of yours."
you give him a playful look that he clearly doesn't notice and get out of bed, naked, your hair cascading down your back like a dark waterfall. you wrap yourself in a silk robe and tie the ties around your waist, not bothering to put anything else on underneath. you turn off the air conditioning, just like every morning, and when you leave the bedroom, you quietly close the door behind you.
no staff are coming today; no helpers, no chefs. they rarely come when you and austin are home at the same time—except when he's having one of those parties or dinners with his friends—so the house is completely silent, that kind of silence that only exists in the early hours of the morning, when the world seems to hold its breath before waking.
you go downstairs and cross the living room barefoot to the kitchen, where you don't linger long. you drink a glass of cold water while you empty your breasts, filling three bottles with milk. you put two in the refrigerator and leave the kitchen with one in your hand, filled with warm milk. you go back upstairs and follow the long marble hallway to your baby's room.
however, as soon as you open the door, you stop dead in your tracks.
austin is standing in the middle of the room, wearing only pajama bottoms that sit low on his hips, his bare torso illuminated by the soft light coming through the window. his short blond hair is tousled, unruly, as if he'd run his hand through it several times when he got up. and in his arms, wrapped in a white blanket, is her.
lori.
your daughter.
his daughter.
your heart leaps slightly in your chest when you see austin holding his baby; she's still asleep, her little head resting against austin's bicep, one of her tiny hands clutching his finger. austin holds her with a naturalness that still surprises you, gently rocking from side to side, as if his body learned the movement before his mind.
you don't speak immediately; instead, you stay there, still and silent, watching with the bottle clutched between your fingers and something warm expanding in your chest. it's such an intimate image, you even feel as if you're interrupting a moment that doesn't concern you.
austin looks up when he senses you. his eyes, still sleepy, light up when he sees you.
"i thought you'd be a little longer." he says softly, careful not to wake the baby. "i missed her and... well." he makes a small gesture, as if he doesn't know how to explain why he ended up there.
you smile gently. "i thought you'd still be asleep." you reply, finally moving toward them.
you hand him the bottle, and austin looks at it as if it were sacred. "now?" he asks.
you nod. "it's warm."
austin settles lori more carefully, bringing the bottle to her lips. the baby stirs slightly, wrinkling her little nose, and then, almost immediately, begins to suck with that soft, rhythmic sound you already recognize as one of the most comforting in the world.
austin exhales slowly, looking at lori as if she were sacred. "hello, little one." he murmurs softly, in a low voice. "good morning."
you lean against the doorframe, crossing your arms over your chest, watching them in silence. you've seen austin on red carpets, in front of cameras, surrounded by people, transformed into something almost unreal for the rest of the world. but nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to seeing him like this: disheveled, barefoot, with your daughter in his arms, completely oblivious to everything but her.
"thank you for giving her to me " he says suddenly, without taking his eyes off lori.
you feel your throat close up a little. "she's yours too, aus." you reply softly.
austin shakes his head slightly, a small smile curving his lips.
"i know, but…" he swallows. "i still can't believe how she came out of you." he looks up at you, and there's something in his eyes that completely disarms you. it's not just love; it's awe, a kind of quiet reverence. "you did something incredible."
you lower your gaze, a little embarrassed, a pinkish tinge tinging your cheeks. "we did something incredible." you correct him, watching austin's smile widen.
lori continues eating, completely absorbed, and austin watches her as if he can't tear his eyes away. every now and then, he wipes the corner of her lips with his thumb, with a gentleness that seems calculated, but is actually instinctive.
for a moment, you think about all the times you doubted yourself during the pregnancy, the fear, the exhaustion, the long nights. and now you're there, watching your husband hold your daughter as if he were born to do it.
time seems to stretch. to stop, even.
"she's looks just like you." you say, breaking the silence. "more and more every day."
austin lets out a soft, nasal chuckle. "you say that because you love me."
"and because it's true." you tilt your head slightly, studying lori's profile. "she has your blonde hair, the same shape as your lips, your eyes... even her little nose looks like yours." you look up at him with a small smile. "and she has your calmness. although it's still too early to tell."
austin shakes his head slowly. "no. it's true."
when lori finishes eating, she puts down the bottle with a contented sigh, her eyelids drooping again. austin picks up the bottle and checks that it's empty.
"i think i won." he murmurs.
you know he's not talking about the bottle, but about lori, about you, about his life, about how that night after breaking up with vanessa led him to become a husband and now a father.
"you won."
austin settles lori against his shoulder and gently pats her back. a few seconds later, a small burp escapes the baby, and austin smiles as if he's just witnessed a miracle.
"well done." he says, very serious.
you let out a low laugh. "you're ridiculous."
"i'm a proud father."
when lori is completely relaxed again, austin looks down at her and then at you.
"do you want me to change her?" he asks. "i can."
you hesitate for barely a second, more out of habit than anything else. then you nod. "are you sure?"
austin leans toward you and gives you a soft kiss on the lips; brief, but full of meaning.
"go." he repeats. "i'll take care of her."
you close your eyes for a moment, resting your cheek against his shoulder. "thank you."
before leaving, you look at them one last time: austin is already heading to the changing table, whispering to lori, as if he's telling her a secret only the two of them share.
god, you need to give him another baby.
the living room is bathed in that soft, amber light that only exists when the sun has already set but the night hasn’t fully claimed the house yet. a few lamps are on, strategically placed, warm and low, turning the space into something intimate and almost cocoon-like. the television murmurs quietly in the background, some old movie you’ve both seen a dozen times, something familiar enough that it doesn’t demand attention.
you’re curled on one end of the sofa, knees drawn up, a blanket draped loosely over your legs. austin is stretched out beside you, his back against the armrest, one arm propped comfortably as he holds lori against his chest. she’s wide awake now, dressed in a soft cotton onesie, her tiny feet bare and kicking lazily against his stomach.
austin is completely gone.
he presses slow, exaggerated kisses to her cheeks, her forehead, the tip of her nose. each one is followed by a quiet sound, little mwahs that make lori wrinkle her nose before bursting into a toothless smile. she lets out a high-pitched giggle, the kind that still feels like magic every single time you hear it.
"there it is." austin murmurs, grinning down at her. "that’s my favorite sound in the whole world."
he does it again. another kiss. another giggle.
you watch from your spot, chin resting against your knee, arms wrapped loosely around yourself. you don’t interrupt. you don’t move. you just observe, letting the image sink into you: austin butler, movie star, heart-throb, your husband —your husband— lying on a couch in sweatpants, completely undone by a baby who weighs less than a watermelon.
he looks impossibly happy. relaxed in a way he rarely was before lori. softer. like something inside him finally exhaled.
your hand drifts unconsciously to your stomach, your belly. the movement is small, almost involuntary, but it’s enough to make your chest tighten.
you've been quiet for a while now. too quiet.
austin notices eventually. he always does. he looks up from lori, eyes flicking to you, immediately attentive.
"y'alright?" he asks softly, looking at you with soft, attentive eyes
you nod, too fast. an automatic gesture that makes you force a tense smile, more like a grimace. "yes, i'm okay." you whisper.
he hums, clearly unconvinced, but he doesn’t push. instead, he adjusts lori slightly, letting her rest more comfortably on his chest, her ear pressed against his heartbeat. one of his hands gently pats her back, slow and rhythmic, while the other reaches out to you.
"baby." he calls you softly. his fingers move, asking you to come closer. you look at his hand for a moment, and he moves his fingers again. "hey, come here."
you hesitate for half a second, then scoot closer, settling against his side. his arm wraps around you easily, warm and solid, pulling you into him until your shoulder presses against his ribs. you rest your head against his shoulder, breathing him in: clean soap, warm skin, something uniquely him.
lori makes a little sound, then goes quiet again, her fingers curling into the fabric of austin's shirt.
"she's getting heavier." austin murmurs thoughtfully, looking at her with that expression that never leaves his face every time he looks at her.
you smile faintly. "she’s growing."
"too fast, yeah." he sighs, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "she was just... a really tiny thing and now she’s..." he pauses, smiling to himself. "still tiny. but less tiny."
you let out a soft breath of laughter.
silence settles again, comfortable but charged. the movie keeps playing, forgotten. the only sounds are lori's quiet breathing and the distant hum of the house.
your heart starts to beat a little faster.
you know this is the moment. you’ve been carrying it around all day, turning it over in your mind, waiting for the right time. there’s never a perfect one. but this feels… close enough.
"aus?" you murmur. your voice is barely a low, soft sound, almost shy.
"yes, doll?"
you swallow, watching the screen without really watching it. "there’s... uh, something i need to tell you."
his body shifts subtly, instantly alert. he looks down at you, concern flickering across his face.
"what is it?" he asks gently. "is everything okay?"
"um, well..." you tilt your head, hesitant, but then you nod again, slower this time. "yeah, yeah, i mean..." you nod again. "yes. everything's okay.”
he waits. he always waits.
you draw a breath, then another. your fingers twist into the blanket on your lap.
"i…" you pause, then force yourself to continue. "i went to see my doctor yesterday."
austin's brows knit together slightly. "why?"
your mouth feels dry. "just… a check-up."
his concern deepens. "but you didn’t tell me." he doesn't sound angry, but... he doesn't sound particularly happy either.
"i know." you answer quickly. "i... i didn’t want to worry you." you look up at him, meeting his eyes. "and i didn’t know for sure yet."
"for sure about what?" he asks quietly.
your heart is pounding now, loud in your ears.
"i'm pregnant."
the words hang there, fragile and terrifying and real.
for a second, just one, austin doesn’t react at all. his face goes completely still, as if his brain needs a moment to catch up. then his eyes widen, just slightly.
"what?" he breathes.
you nod, a small, nervous smile tugging at your lips. "i'm pregnant. again."
he blinks.
then again.
and then again.
his gaze flicks instinctively to your stomach, then back to your face. "you’re-" he swallows. "but you just had lori."
"i know."
"two months ago."
"i know."
his mouth opens, then closes. his arm tightens around you unconsciously, protective.
"are you-" he stops himself, lowers his voice. his hand suddenly lands gently on your belly. "are you okay?"
"yes." you answer quickly. "i'm okay. the doctor says everything looks fine. it’s early, but-"
"jesus." he whispers.
you watch the emotions move across his face in real time: shock, confusion, concern, something like fear. his jaw tightens slightly.
"god, baby, but you’re so young..." he says softly, almost to himself. his thumb moves gently over the skin of your stomach. "and your body hasn’t even-"
"i know." you repeat, more gently this time. "i know all of that."
austin keeps looking at you for a few more seconds, like he’s still trying to process it all. his hand remains on your stomach. he doesn’t move it.
"they say i control you." he adds quietly, almost ashamed. "that i rush you. that… that i force you into things." the word force costs him something.
you lift your head immediately. "that’s not true."
"i know." he cuts in quickly, firm. "i know, baby. but i still hear it. and it makes me want to…" he exhales, holding himself back. "i don’t care what they say about me, but i don’t want anyone thinking you don’t choose." he leans a little closer, his forehead nearly brushing yours. "you’re the most stubborn person o know." he says with a faint smile. "if i tried to control you, you’d send me straight to hell."
you can’t help but laugh. "correct."
"exactly." he nods, satisfied. "you'd humiliate me publicly."
"probably."
"definitely."
there’s pride in his eyes.
he exhales slowly, eyes dropping to lori, who sleeps on, blissfully unaware. he strokes her back once, grounding himself.
"was it-" he hesitates, then looks at you again. "was it planned?"
"i'm pretty sure it wasn't." you say, without taking offense at his question. "but… it doesn’t scare me." you add quietly.
that makes him look at you again, really look at you.
"it doesn’t?"
you shake your head again. "i was surprised. and yeah, a little overwhelmed." you give a tiny, nervous laugh. "okay, maybe more than a little. but when i saw the test, i didn’t feel scared. i just thought about… us. about lori, about you and-and i know you want more kids."
his throat works as he swallows.
"you just went through so much." he says, voice low. "pregnancy, labor, recovery… breastfeeding." he grimaces. "i just... i don't know, baby, i hate the idea of your body not getting time to rest."
"i know." you say softly. "but... my body isn’t just mine anymore. it hasn’t been for a while. and that’s okay. i trust you. you have always taken care of me."
he closes his eyes briefly, as if those words hit somewhere deep. when he opens them again, something has shifted. lori shifts a little, making a soft sound, and he glances down at her. his expression melts instantly.
a smile starts to form. slow. disbelieving.
"again." he murmurs, almost reverently.
you nod.
"i'm gonna have two little girls." he murmurs. "two."
"maybe not a girl." you say.
he raises an eyebrow. "with my aim, sweetheart? that’s straight to the target."
you snort despite yourself. "austin."
"i'm just saying i'm consistent." he grins shamelessly. "precise. efficient."
"you’re unbelievable."
"baby, two months." he insists, absurdly proud. "that’s professional level."
you swat his chest lightly. "stop bragging about that."
"it’s a natural talent." he shrugs. "should put it on my résumé."
"actor, singer and… what, reproductive sniper?"
he lets out a low laugh that vibrates against your cheek. "exactly."
you shake your head, laughing now, tension melting away. "you’re impossible."
"and fertile." he adds proudly.
you press your face into his shoulder, groaning. "please stop."
he laughs, the sound full and warm, vibrating through you. then he sobers slightly, lifting your chin so you have to look at him.
"hey..." he says softly, looking at you gith gentle eyes. "i want you to know that i'm really happy, okay? i... i love it when you're carrying our baby. i just..." his thumb brushes your cheek. "i worry because... you're my baby. and i love you. that’s all."
"i know." you whisper, staring at him. then you smile, softly. "and i love you too. and..." you sigh. "and i don't care what others say: you've never forced me to do anything, and you're not forcing me to do this. i want this. again. with you."
his expression softens even more as he hears your words, the gentle reverence in them. he leans in and kisses you; slow, tender, careful not to disturb lori. when he pulls back, his forehead rests against yours.
"i got this." he murmurs. "i really do, okay? i'll take care of you. i always will."
you nod, eyes stinging. "i know."
he smiles again, that proud, almost smug smile returning. "guess i should start practicing my... skills."
you glance at lori, sleeping peacefully between you.
"something tells me" you say softly, looking at them. "you'll be just fine."
he presses a kiss to lori's head, then to yours.
"i'm the luckiest man alive." he says simply.
you take a breath and shrug, nodding. "yes, you are." you concede, not caring if you sound boastful.
"and fertile."
"austin."
he laughs again and gives you another kiss on the lips.
Author’s note: Guess who’s back??? So, I know it’s been a year, and a rather long year. A lot of things have happened to me, at work, at school. I apologize profoundly.
You knew your relationship with Hank wasn’t perfect, it was far from it. And it wasn’t just Hank’s fault, you had your problems but it was the way God had made you, what could you do? At least you weren’t an alcoholic, unlike some… You pretended a lot, the relationship was filled with white lies, and most of the time you felt gunfire in your stomach, tearing up your guts and wretching your mood.
It was a Monday, Hank had begged you to come to Paul’s bar, he had a free day and of course he wanted to spend it drinking. You accepted, you did miss him and you wanted to feel desired. You got all pretty, wore your best clothes and even used your makeup. Took the subway and arrived, Hank waved at you from the bar, already nursing a beer.
You sat down next to him and he immediately kissed you deep, he tasted like he’d been pre-gaming since the morning.
“You’ve been drinking.” You said, pulling away, sitting down correctly.
“I missed you too, baby.” He said sarcastically and then took a sip from the bottle. “Just warming up before I saw my girl” Hank winked at you.
You ordered a beer too, and took some peanuts from the small bowl. “Right, yeah, pre-gaming”
“I’m surprised you agreed to this today.” Hank moved the stool closer to you. He wanted to be close, and you knew that.
“I hate Mondays, you know that, Hank.”
“Yeah, I know, y/n… you always fucking remind me.” He muttered while taking a sip.
The night went on extremely slow, all he talked about was baseball and the Giants. You were bored, extremely, especially when he started getting wasted because he switched from beer to tequila. You wanted to make it stop but he never listened, booze was his closest comfort. But always, when he drank, he got emotional and always talked about his injury.
“I could’ve had it all, baby. Fame, money, shit… even maybe buy you a big ass ring” he slurred, as his eyes began to water. “I had so much, it was right here and then—“ he choked up a sob, sniffing away the tears.
There was that familiar, awful feeling in your stomach. “It’s not so bad, Hank, you’re still good.” An improvisational white lie, it was all you could say.
“No, all I have now is garbage.” He wiped off a tear, shaking his head. “I live in a shithole, I barely make ends meet, and then there’s you…”
That was it, you stared at him and stood up. “Well, then fuck you.” You stormed to the exit.
“Wait! Shit, baby-“ he stood up quickly, he just threw some miserable twenty bucks at Paul, who flipped him off, and then ran after you.
It wasn’t sustainable, but it was traditional in the relationship. You couldn’t even begin to form some sort of empathy for him. Couldn’t even hold him even if you wanted it.
“Stop following, Hank.” You walked faster as he followed you through the cold night, although he was already sweating like a pig.
“I didn’t mean it like that, baby, c’mon!” He raised his voice, like a child does when trying to defend himself. When you reached a crosswalk, you heard the loud thump
“Ow! Fuck…” You turned around and saw him trying to stand up and stumbling even doing a simple chore. He’d skinned his hand, you sighed and walked over to him, yeah, you felt a little bad, it was human decency. “You see this, baby? This is what I get for chasing you down. Don’t be such a fucking bitch again, look at what happens.”
You stared at him in disbelief, now he was blaming you? Yeah, no wonder why you hadn’t been turned on by him for months.
“C’mon, let’s get you home…” you said, tiredness filled your voice.
“No, the hell we are… you’re not my mom.” He spat, with that edge of playfulness. “You’re always this controlling, can’t we have a little fun, baby? Huh?” He grabbed your wrist and puked you closer.
He wasn’t exactly bad looking, he was extremely hot, but it was his habits what made you feel this way towards him. His breath always smelled like heavy liquor, his hair was always soaking wet from sweat, as well as his shirt when he’d been drinking all day.
“Let me go, you’re drunk” you said, trying to back off, but his grip was strong.
“Oh, come on, don’t you think I’m sexy?” He started salivating and gulping a lot as he said it, he let you go, he covered his mouth and started retching until he vomited.
You gagged, immediately, and to top it all off, there were still people out in the street, even a cab slowed down, some of them laughed, others looked at her with pity and others at him in disgust. “Come help me, baby…” He told you and he heaved one last time. Swatting his hand to ‘clean it’. You were all red, and your eyes were filled with tears of impotence.
Nope, this was it. You got into the cab, saying your address. “Baby!” Hank yelled, but you ignored him. You didn’t care that you were leaving him in the middle of the street. You wouldn’t be seen with him, that was so fucking embarrassing.
“You okay, Miss? What a show.” The cab driver asked you, looking back at you. “He always like that?”
“He can be such a bitch, and it makes me so fucking sick.” You said, voice shaky because of how embarrassed you were, eyes still watery, you sounded desperate to say it, like you’d been holding it in for so long. “Alright?” You snapped, like you were trying to assure yourself that he actually did disgust you, as if you weren’t still with him.
“Alright…” the driver said, weirded out but not wanting to be in your business.
Exactly a week later you finally answered his calls, he wanted to “make it up to you”, which could possibly mean: ‘come to my apartment and let me fuck the anger out of you’ but after what had happened, you weren’t sure you wanted to get laid.
It started off well, he played the perfect boyfriend, like nothing had happened. Until he asked you the most stupid question: “Baby, are you angry?”
You scoffed, finally looking at him in disbelief, “I can’t believe you’d ask that, hell yeah, I fucking am, Hank.” You said, voice loud.
“You know, you don’t have to be an asshole about it. Everyone has bad nights, you have bad nights too.” He leaned back on his crappy sofa. Like he’d just spat out some type of wisdom.
“You call that a bad night? Crying at the bar? Vomiting on the sidewalk while everyone watches? Don’t you have some self respect, Hank?”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Who fucking cares about what other people say? You’re so pathetic for being so aware of what others say.” He scoffed, he actually believed that, like he genuinely believed that what he was doing wasn’t wrong. And yes, it also hurt your ego that he believed you were in the wrong.
“I’m not the type to be wrong, Hank, you know that.” You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes.
“Would it hurt you to be crazy for one night? Jesus.” He said annoyingly, kicking the wooden tea table with his injured leg, hissing from the small pain.
You shook your head and stood up, “you want crazy? I can be crazy” you but the inside of your cheek before spitting out venom. Hot pacing in front of him. “You say that I look angry, well, hell yeah, you’re fucking right. Some of us don’t drink away our problems. Yeah, I’m so pissed off because it’s been too long since I’ve gotten laid, and even long since I remember wanting it.”
That went directly to his gut, low blow. But it was the truth. “It’s not me who can’t get wet.” Hank fired back, but you didn’t hold back. Now you were really pissed off.
“I can’t get wet for someone that makes me sick, Hank. You make me sick, you have no idea how much you disgust me.” You raised your voice, you were heaving back and fort.
“Yet you’re still here, aren’t you? You act like a bitch but you’re still letting me fuck you. Then you make me feel like shit for it. If you think about it. You are the one ruining my life.” He stood up quickly, matching your tone.
You scoffed, “Me? Ruining your life? Grow the fuck up, Hank, we both know that you’re the one that ruins lives. Weren’t you the one that crashed that car? The one that killed your friend because you couldn’t get your head out your ass and stop being an alcoholic?”
Your eyes went wide immediately, unfortunately the only times you opened up was when you were firing. You stared at him, his eyes glassy, he couldn’t even believe that had come out your mouth.
“I told you, I can be crazy.” Was all you could say before stepping out of the apartment, hot pacing from all the conversation.
Afterwards, you were smoking a cigarette in the doorframe, staring at him while he drank his third beer. You started chuckling from the ridiculousness of the situation, breathy and shaking your head.
“What’s so fucking funny?” He glared at you from his shitty table.
“It’s so hilarious. Everything is just a mess.” You said, taking a drag from your cigarette.
“I’m aware of that, y/n. Want a medal?” He was definitely irritated and extremely hurt. You walked towards him, stood close to him and placed your hand in his hair, petting it until he pulled you closer and made you sit in his lap.
“I’d expect nothing less…” you took another drag from your cigarette and kissed the top of his temple, “but I still hate Mondays.
Happy birthday queen, thank you for carrying me all the time. Not sure how i got so lucky to know you, but you’re a fuckin gem of a girl and im blessed, I love you, always.
