Constantly Breathing

Tough shits of Life

[eternalexhale]

Pitfall

Humanity is a pitfall of everything We make things backwards, Making it confusing to really grab a hold of reality Learn, listen, and live

But that living part is the toughest We live for beauty & independence, only for others complicate them

Are we on the same path? Do we truly understand each other? Or do we simply continue telling lies?

Life is backwards There’s not a completeness of anything…. Without giving something up Pride, ego, money, or more

Humanity is a pitfall, aside from wars and poverty We create the damage ourselves & wonder why narcissism & ghosting exists

It’s emotional damage & manipulation

[eternalexhale]

Soldiers

I have walked through places where battles once lived, where the air still holds the whisper of prayers from souls who fought with more than weapons— they fought with spirit, with hope, with the quiet courage that only the unseen world witnesses. Some battlefields are physical, but most lie within us— the trials of the heart, the weight of unfinished lessons, the endless rising each time we fall. Life is the sacred struggle, the divine test of strength, faith, and endurance. It is not death that frightens us; death is a return, a release, a soft homecoming to the eternal. It is living— the refining fire of growth, the remembering and forgetting, the constant shaping of the soul— that challenges us the most. And when the journey becomes too heavy, when spirit meets the threshold of surrender, there is a holy stillness— a moment where the soul steps out of battle and into peace. Here we rest, we restore, we prepare for whatever our next calling may be in this life or the next. Goddess Nica was never the crown worn by the ones who remained standing. She was the quiet divinity who embraced the fallen—the souls who offered their strength with purity, whose final breath mingled with the earth and rose into the sacred beyond. She became the guardian of those who surrendered with honor, the keeper of their peace, the gentle guide who carries them into a rest that is holy, timeless, and finally free

[eternalexhale]

Decapitated

I was told to cut my head—

to sever thought from body,

to step into the world they call success.

To lose everything I have ever known,

as if sacrifice were the only doorway to being seen.

If I want acknowledgment, they say,

this is the price I must pay:

cut your head, become like everyone else—

false, hollow, an imposter in crude disguise.

We hunt for justice inside injustice,

as though pain itself makes us feel alive.

We name our wounds “self-care,”

wrap our scars in pretty words.

Again they told me: cut your head.

Blend into the crowd of lies and betrayal,

rise with them and call it rebirth—

call ourselves phoenixes while burning in denial.

And still they whisper that betrayal is bliss,

that losing ourselves is the way to belong.

But I know the truth:

a severed head cannot speak,

and a severed soul cannot rise.

[eternalexhale]

Soul Empty

I’m okay, but I am not.

I’ve learned to live without you—

to carry the energy you left in me,

to hold the light for both of us.

Yet my soul cracks and withers

knowing you still choose the dark.

How can you praise sobriety,

speak of peace of mind,

and then pull yourself back

into the very place that stole them?

I keep holding on,

waiting for you to return.

My soul cries each time

your absence fills the room.

How much longer must I wait?

How much more must I endure

before you finally see?

We are God’s gifts,

yet you keep blocking the light.

I’m okay—

but equally not.

I am myself because of you.

You are my half…

but I guess

I am not yours.

[eternalexhale]

Icarus Likeness

ur journey never stops.

Like Icarus, we rise toward the sun—

not out of arrogance,

but out of hunger.

A need to feel something bright enough

to remind us we’re alive.

With every lift of our wings,

the warmth grows closer,

pulling us in with promises

of purpose, of meaning, of more.

And still, the burn comes—

from every dream we chase,

every desire we dare to hold,

every impossible hope

we refuse to let go of.

But even scorched, we keep going.

Our journey never stops.

We break, rebuild,

and reinvent ourselves

a thousand times

in the fires of our longing.

Through every rise, every fall,

every molten moment of becoming—

our journey never stops.

[eternalexhale]

“Reflection of the eyes in the garden of consciousness”-Nica

[eternalexhale]

“I loved her, atom by atom, one burning cell at a time”-Kami Garcia, Beautiful Darkness

[eternalexhale]

“Be the light you wish to see on Earth”.

[eternalexhale]

“Look into my eyes and see the universe”

[eternalexhale]

Why do we need Speech

Human beings are the only species that shape breath into words.

For ages we spoke through sound, through subtle cues,

through the quiet electricity of eye to eye,

through the ancient language of art.

To awaken the soul, to steady the conscious mind,

we sit in silence.

So then—why do we have speech at all?

I feel lighter, truer, more myself

when my mouth remains closed,

when I know another simply by watching,

when presence speaks what words cannot.

For spoken language can fracture—

it can carry lies, betrayal, games, confusion.

Actions have always rung louder than any syllable.

Do we really need speech in our lives?

There are only so many words one can spill

before they lose their color.

But silence—

silence is a beauty that satisfies,

a truth that asks for nothing

yet reveals everything.

[eternalexhale]

From You, Lies Home

You were my everything. I broke down because of you. I rebuilt because of you. You’ve been my dream since before I knew love.

Now I’m lost….yes, free to do as pleased. But should I take that chance again. To have my heart broken and stepped on. To have my dreams shattered.

I should be glad that you set me free. After all, you were my karmic love. But through you I learned unconditional love. Was your love for me really just the boozes?

You weren’t my healer, you’ll never know the truth of what really happened!!! The pain, the heartbreak, the mental and physical burnout. I’d rather let you believe your Grandiose belief, I’ve spoken enough to you.

My throat is dry, my lips are sealed, no longer should I speak words of you. I’ll carry the memories with me, pushing forward. I don’t know what life brings, but hoping it only gets better.

You have set the stage for my soulmate. Final resting home. Home in which I’ll feel safe.

[eternalexhale]

Life Evaluation

I’m observing,

quietly evaluating—

the way personalities blend,

the way romances rise and fade,

the reasons we stay

and the reasons we drift.

I ask myself softly,

is the heaviness mine,

or theirs?

Perfection is only a perception,

and in learning that,

I’ve learned myself.

I’ve practiced self-love,

grown into confidence,

and shaped boundaries

that let me feel safe,

comfortable,

and at peace—

even if that peace

means standing alone for a while.

I move toward people gently now,

only when it feels right,

like Jesus choosing moments

to sit with Mary—

connection with intention,

time with purpose.

Still, I wonder tenderly:

Are you a distraction

pulling me from my path,

or a quiet teacher

helping me grow?

Your presence has a softness,

even in its lessons—

a push,

a reminder,

a whisper of what I still need to heal.

I wish you were walking

your own healing wave beside me,

steadier, clearer—

a companion with a faithful heart,

like Mary at Jesus’ side.

So I keep observing.

I keep shaping my Heaven—

my truth,

my calm,

my becoming.

And life keeps offering

gentle glimpses

of who I am becoming.

[eternalexhale]

Once Were

You showed me who I really am

My strength from within

The happiness that laid underneath the broken

Behind the drugs and alcohol

Far passing the stress and discomfort

You were my final step towards burnout

The leap I needed to change

To become my true self

Enabling myself to become the beauty from within

The goddess that once was

You were my calling card, but not my permanent person

I’ve given thanks to you, but our lives no longer revolve around each other

I have my own path

You still have to face your healing and inner child

Wish you the best, but I cannot stick around

[eternalexhale]

What’s the point

I continue trying, but what’s the point

You keep pushing me down

I know happiness does not come from an easy path

It’s full of narrow streets and challenging obstacles

I research and grow, hoping this is the moment

But it seems to be an illusion

A false hope of nothingness

Advice and tips are given

But they too don’t help to push you forward

I’ve said it before…. It’s knowing people and having connections

How does this work when you’re masking to be social

Small talks are irritating and untrustful

What’s the point of putting myself out there

When companies don’t call to offer the position

When medical offices don’t respond with the in 24 hours

It’s not like I don’t try

It’s a constant struggle, isn’t a constant battle

Why should I keep insisting?

Maybe it’s not for me

Simply let it go

But how do I grow?

How else should I get to my goal?

What’s the point

[eternalexhale]

Racing

My heart and mind are racing

Racing to catch up with each other

Racing to finally be part of this world

To accept that which I can’t change

To accept my role and position

Life is a balance

But it’s a B*tch to play

It’s a game

It’s about knowing your pawns

Excel, succeed….. words that keeps us dreaming

And failing at the same time

I cannot breath

Giving up hope

Giving up on the person which I was taught to be

Everything is a lie

Should I say goodbye now or later

What else is there to believe

My mind and my heart keep playing games

Failing to catch up

[eternalexhale]

Lost But Found

Feeling lost

What do I believe in

What do I know

Signs should be my pathway

But where…oh where is it leading me to

Believe in God, everyone says

Have faith that your right were you should be

My kindness is mistaken or abused

Mistaken for more then friendship

And misused by those with addictions

Or depression

I’m something to hold on to

Like their life jacket

But who saves me from them

It’s important to have extracurricular activities

To be busy and be occupied

But my life doesn’t work like that

I’m not constantly full of plans

Yes, I push away for my mental stability

But parts of me still misses out

Creativity comes from experience and inspiration

What better way then chaos

Hate this life, this process

But we ALL function like this

What drives us?

In marriage, we find activities and hobbies to distract one another

Being constantly there doesn’t help the relationship

We need to be ourselves

In one way or another

[eternalexhale]

Flowing

Run with the flow

Enjoy life and make unexpected turns

Stop questioning choices

However, the flow isn’t that easy

It’s a wave of currents going against each other

Testing and pushing our limits

And you are definitely that

This beautiful, amazing flow of love

But also the flow of disappointment

Of test, trials and tribulations

At times I don’t know what to trust from you

However, other times I get lost

Lost in your love for me

Your willingness to change

Your willingness to please me

But your demons take over

And our flow of love shatters

Who will pick them up?

Our flow has no beginning and no end

Shall it ever stop!!

Our flow is a consistency of red flags

Yours just seem to be deeper right now

My flow of love is strong

Binding and holding us tight

Call us crazy, call us insane

It’s a flow of emotions

A flow of harmony and disappointments

Learning to ride each current

Running with the flow will never be easy