[Desperate Times] Nathan & Ethan
Although he wasn’t one to keep a grudge, Nathan still wanted to hold onto his anger for a while longer. He didn’t enjoy being angry, but it was easier to deal with than the fear and melancholy that threatened to creep in the moment he let it go. Regardless of what he felt, anyway, it didn’t change the fact that where he was now – hiding from his family and undoubtedly making things worse – was partially Ethan’s fault. Before he let the betrayal slide, he at least expected some kind of apology. But of course he knew better than to expect one. For his brother to act out in such an extreme way, he had to have felt he was in the right. That likely hadn’t changed over the course of a mere few days.
The one thing that was clear, though, was that he wasn’t there to fight. He already looked defeated. For as dissatisfied as Nate had always suspected he’d been beneath the surface, he’d always managed to maintain a neutral façade. Anything that fell below that standard of nonchalance had to signify something close to devastation…which was new. It had always been difficult for him to read the emotions of others who didn’t wear theirs on their sleeves the same way he did. But maybe, as Ethan had said, it was because he didn’t put much thought into anyone but himself. It wasn’t something he personally believed, but who else knew him better?
When the words poured out of his mouth, he could feel his resolve crumbling and knew he would be unable to turn him away. He released a long breath and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking to the ground as he spoke. “He, uh…he’s not here. I actually just got back from looking for him…I saw your fliers. I’m sorry he’s missing, E.” That wasn’t the only thing he was sorry about – he’d done worse by him directly – but in the moment it was the only one he could muster an apology for. “He could still be out there, though. I only made a quick sweep around town. I could drive you…if you want. To go around and look for Mickey’s best mate.” He smiled at his tease on the name, hoping the obvious joke would lighten the mood some. It wouldn’t fix anything, but he hoped to be able to make a start on it.
Pluto wasn’t here. That was the first thing he processed, the first words of his brother that his brain managed to keep and understand. He had so much hopes of finding him here, of Nathan having him with him and maybe not telling him so he could suffer a little, or maybe Nathan finding him and appearing in his home with his friend in his arms. He was running out of options and he was just freaking out about it. He might look calmed and in control of his emotions but he was definitely not right.
Then he processed the rest of his words. Nate had actually been looking for Pluto and Ethan knew he didn’t deserve it. He knew Nate was still mad at him and he expected him to stay mad for a longer time, which he probably would do, since Ethan knew his brother wouldn’t forgive him easily. And he didn’t even know if he wanted to be forgiven, if Ethan was honest with himself, he would admit that he still didn’t think he had done anything wrong. Maybe the timing, yes, the place? Definitely, but he couldn’t keep it a secret and maybe he had some fault, but Ethan wasn’t sure he was done processing that weekend back at home yet.
After his offer he wasn’t sure of what to say. Could they both really get inside a car together without starting a fight again? Ethan wasn’t sure it was a good idea, and he wasn’t sure he wanted Nate to see the mess he had been lately, but he didn’t have any other choice, since Pluto was his priority now. “Yeah sure” He said, not using more words, too scared of starting to cry in front of the man who was probably still hating his guts.
