WHITE LIGHT.

private sorey as adored by ellie. his whole world.

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*  etheruin   /   mikleo  !

    i think you don’t worry enough.

this isn’t something to worry about, though.

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*  heromask   /   akechi ! 

   “It’s a bit of a handful, I can’t deny.” no point in that sort of thing anymore. even as he places his briefcase atop the desk, locks locked and homework neatly tucked inside, he can’t help but feel somewhat more at ease. transfer students had some sort of appeal to them——but foreigners were just as much pariahs as he once was, trapped on the other side of judging eyes and whispered comments (good or bad——who could say?).

   “But I’m doing quite well for myself, I think. Well, as well as someone in my position can do, of course.”

for some reason, his hellish schedule reminded him of exam season. there just wasn’t time to do anything aside from studying and to someone who just didn’t like doing it, things could be quite difficult. it’s been a few months since he had arrived but getting used to a place so different from his home is still something he has to worry about. after all, he did want to learn more about everything in this country.

` well, you sure work hard. i’m sure things will eventually pay off. ` that’s what he always tells his mother, whenever the poor lady gets too much commissions in a short amount of time. but then again, comparing those two wasn’t exactly fair since they didn’t have the same job. he nods, hands buried into his coat’s pockets as a quiet laughter escapes his lips, more of weariness than anything else, really. ` don’t you ever get a break or something like that? `

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*  etheruin   /   mikleo !

   i’m concerned for ur health, sorey. how many times must we go over this?    book sniffing is not what normal humans do.

but last time i checked, it wasn’t harmful in any way. ----- you worry too much, mikleo. everything is fine.

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etheruin .

squints !!!!!!

what did i ever do to you.

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` so you’re always this busy, huh? ` he finally speaks then, taking some sort of time to wrap everything up ------ sounded way too complicated, a lot more than the stuff he used to do back home. but then again, it seemed unfair to compare their lives, when they were just too different, ` i didn’t know that you had to do all of that and still go to school... isn’t it too much? `

@heromask   /   sc.

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are u still sniffing books mister???

[ KILL BILL SIRENS ]

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hey, just a reminder that i love my husband with all my heart.

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` this is lastonbell. ` it wasn’t exactly unusual for people to get lost between the countries during those times but something told him that this was more than just getting lost. in any way, he would do whatever he could to help him. ` were are you headed to? maybe i can help... `

@sfidar   /   sc.

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this blog exists?

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✧ etheruin / mikleo!

   His legs dangle off the cot, the blankets thrown haphazardly into disarray as he sits there for another moment, suddenly still. It feels weird, like weights had attached themselves to the base of his ankles, causing them to sway back and forth and back and forth——until he begins to count the seconds off of them. Sliding forward, the ball of his foot finds purchase on the ground, an icy chill from the tile causing him to jolt momentarily, the other foot following not too long after.

   “I don’t want to be here anymore, I told you.” The youth repeats, his voice beginning to crack from the frustration———who was he; why was he here; why wouldn’t they let him leave; would anyone ever tell him anything? Teeth grit as he pushes himself of the makeshift bed in defiance, but his knees buckle, he crumbles, he lands atop the floor with a deafening thud.

   There’s no pain; only the sensation of his chest drowning in disappointment.

   Palms grip the floor as he pushes himself back up, aware of the eyes gaping at him like yet another side-show attraction (that’s all anyone here does, he thinks——stare.) before a puff of air slips past his lips. “Why, though?” Legs like shackles, all to keep him fettered to this cage of a place! “Why am I just trapped in this place for no reason? There has to be a reason, right?”

it’s cruel. he cannot explain just how cruel this is. some people called it the will of god ---- He decided to protect one of His children, without worrying about the consequences. but them? they were more than just comrades in arms. at least, that’s what he used to think. when did sorey ever need to help mikleo? his partner was always there, whenever he either faltered or just started thinking how just unfair this world was. he was always there and what did he do about it? he’s just confused, lost amidst his own guilt and sorrow, for he might be probably someone to blame for him to become like that.

he never wanted to hurt him. that was never on his plans. so he listens ------- just like mikleo used to. he always listened, always comforted him whenever he needed. how is he supposed to make things right, when he doesn’t even remember who he is? when he doesn’t even remember a thing about himself? he’s about to say something / anything when his sudden moves catch him off guard and the following scene makes him jump in surprise: he had clearly forgotten everything.

maybe this was the chance he was asking for.

he moves, putting himself between him and the prying gazes of the infirmary staff as he kneels in front of him, waiting. he wants to answer all those questions but this boy was never good with holding his emotions back. then, the general responsible for him just advised him to don’t talk much ---- how utterly difficult that would be. violet eyes are staring at him, waiting for an answer, and he allows a nervous laughter to escape his lips; he didn’t meant to do that. it’s just that he’s completely, totally lost.

“the branch chief will come talk to you eventually, i guess.” komui always handled those situations with ease but he knew there was more beneath the carefree, soft expression he always wore. he knows it all too well. “i don’t have the answers you want. i’m sorry.” he lies. will this person be able to see through him, too? “but here... let me help you.”

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☀ etheruin / mikleo!

   He doesn’t like this room. It’s dreary, cold, and whenever people entered for any reason at all, they stopped in the doorway and stared. Gaped at him, as if he were some sort of display. They’d whisper among themselves, and scurry out of the room when they caught his own gaze on them——everything was a secret, and it felt like he was the only one not in the loop.

   “I need to go.” Stated curtly, he pushes his frail shoulder against the force of the other’s hand in stubborn resistance. This boy was the only different one——he was the only one who stayed (but company from a stranger was little relief). “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

he slips past his fingers with ease ------ like water. of course. sorey was wrong to think that things would be easy for them / for everyone else. he merely watches, realisation dawning on him before fists clench on his sides, the poor boy left on his own once again: just how cruel was this god, really? he’s so, so tired of it. tired of losing, tired of being unable to save people.

is this what it meant to be an exorcist? the old mikleo would have tried to cheer him up on his own unique ways but he’s not coming back. he probably will never come back, but he clings to what little hope is left for them; for the rest of everyone that knew him still.

“the headnurse can be forceful sometimes.” he remembers seeing all kinds of stuff when this was his home. when you lost your home, where are you supposed to go to? no, no  ----- don’t think about it now. focus. “once she dragged kanda and lavi back to their beds on her own so... it’s probably not a bad idea.” the silence is killing him and there is literally nothing he can do to make things better. how utterly frustrating. “she said that you’ll need to be here for another day. don’t worry ‘bout it.”

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he doesn’t remember a thing. still, it’s quite hard to ignore a situation like this so his hand moves ----- places itself upon his shoulder as to stop him from going. where to? he wasn’t sure. the headnurse did say he needed to rest... “hey, be careful... you shouldn’t be pushing yourself.” // @etheruin.

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☀ mikleo!

   “I-I’m not…” He stammers for a moment, caught red-handed in a lie he hadn’t meant to be uncovered. He was supposed to stay strong for their sake; he wasn’t supposed to fall apart at the seams. All of this time, enduring every scratch and death and fainting spell, only to shatter because of a past that wouldn’t let him go———that he couldn’t let go———what was the point?

   “I’m not scared.” Finishing his fib definitively, the youth pauses for a moment in a sobered calm. Fingers grasp at the blanket loosely wrapped about his frame, tugging on it a few times to lay it proper ‘round his shoulders.

   “It’s my mother.” Chin dips, voice quiets. He’s not even sure why he suddenly confessed such a detail, something so intimate that not even the Order could possibly have a line about it in his file———and even as his voice catches in his throat, Mikleo knows there isn’t a choice about it now. He’s already said too much. “I wake up like that… because I only ever dream of the same thing: when my mother was killed.”

come to think of it, mikleo never spoke about himself. a few words and a few actions there, nothing more and nothing less. but he became somehow used to the weariness that seemed to float around him, of the quietness of his actions ------ he had always been like this. but this never bothered him at all. for sorey, just watching him go on was more than enough. it would be great if he could ever help him, despite of those awful, unwanted nightmare.

but what he suddenly said was not what he expected at all.

eyes are wide, lips parting for a moment though no words had ever been spoken. he was confused / surprised / sad -------------- he could never relate to that. the people who had taken him in were kind enough to treat him as their own son but he never saw how his biological parents died. but this... this was beyond everything he ever imagined. 

“mikleo...” it comes out softer than he intended. without even thinking twice, he throws his arms around him, pulling him closer whilst resting his chin on top of his head. he could never do much aside from physical protection but he always wanted to do more. he wanted to be there for him, no matter what. a sigh, the hold onto him tightening for a bit, as he inhales quietly. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry you had to go through this.”

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etheruin.

   YOUR HUSBAND-TO-BE THAT’S WHO.          i FED YOU SOFT SERVE!!

I DON’T KNOW SUCH A PERSON, GOOD SIR.           i’m kidding, i love you to the moon and back.

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etheruin.

why u gotta leave me ALL BY MYSELLLLLLLFFFF

sorry who are you again.

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boops sorey on the nose!

he was taken by surprise, as always ----------- he might have quick reflexes when it’s about fights and dodging things but never related to something like this, specially when he was lost amid his own thoughts... and yet, his gaze falls to a bright, smiling face and he can’t help himself but to show her the same radiance that she emanates, a soft laughter escaping his lips:

“hey, laei! you look well.” he muses aloud, one hand reaching for her and stopping midway, frowning. then he resumes his movement and quickly places his hand on top of her head, giving her the smallest of pats before laughing ( albeit nervous, he’s quite genuine himself. ), his free hand coming to scratch his cheek out of sheer embarrassment. “hope you’ve been taking care of yourself!”

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✱ mikleo!

   “Gramps asked us to do this, Sorey.” He chides quietly, already dressed and currently standing beside their lofty bed with a sigh. It was tempting to stay inside when the snow pillowing outside didn’t exactly make living on a mountainside all too safe——but Gramps’ requests came first.

   “Please, let’s just get it done and hurry back. I’ll treat you to a hotpot for dinner.”

it seems the poor boy doesn’t have a choice. a sigh, allowing himself to relinquish of the warmth of the bed before tossing the blankets aside, grimacing ----- it would be a long day. gaze moves, finds him and he stares for a moment, not quite sure of what he could say to avoid getting out today; it was not like him to be that lazy but when it’s colder than it usually is, one would want to stay warm as much as they could.

“but it’s just... so cold, mikleo! i’ll freeze at this point!” sorey wouldn’t ever get used to lower temperatures, it would seem. he exhales then, head titled to the side as one hand scratches the back of his neck, a small pout appearing on his lips: “alright... guess we don’t have that much of a choice, do we?”