Born Without Hope

[ethion-dkd]

Part 7. So it’s been awhile, I do apologize about that. I had some milestones that came about quicker then I expected. Needless to say my attention has been going towards self care. Ok, so Oklahoma, I remember difficult days where I felt I belonged to entirely different family, I felt at a young age I did not belong and there must of been some kind of mistake.. How was I born into a family that could be closed minded and shallow at times. Do I feel loved, No, did I feel loved no. Most people will judge and say they beg to differ. How that was a different time and of course your parents loved you. But the proof is in the story and the story unfolds one day just like the truth.

[ethion-dkd]

Part 6

Living in Oklahoma as I remember probably molded how I was going to turn out. I mean from that young age you soak up a lot of who you are by the environment. I did what a lot of younger kids did growing up on an air base, sports, community activities, swimming, parks, played outside and sleepovers when I could....

[ethion-dkd]

Post 5

Oklahoma. I have trama from living and leaving Oklahoma, have you ever hated a place but loved it at the same time? I do, I loved being a kid. I loved the weather there I loved going on long drives in my dads thunderbird. I remember it was this 1980 something thunder bird, a two door car very comfy smelled like Freedom like American spirit. He used to take me and my sister on these drive to pick up black diamond watermelons. Very sweet, yellow flesh, my mom loved them. Now thinking back my dad took use on those trips to get out of my moms abusive path. Those days will always be remembered, I know for a fact my parent don’t believe I remember anything like these past moments. I do!! It’s all I have left.

[ethion-dkd]

Post 4

Now my parents lived in America before Clark air base, but unfortunately I know little to nothing, except my sister was born in Georgia a few years earlier. You know as a kid I always wondered about my parents past. Strange my mom thought, but it was only because my friends parents asked how my parents meet. My friends parents always found it very interesting, and expected me to tell this love story. Strangely I had to lie. Give them what they wanted to hear, let their smiles guide my story and for that moment I felt special, it wasn’t often ever I felt special. But that will be told later.

Ok so back to it.. uhmmm..... at some point after85 my parents moved to Oklahoma, tinker air base..

[ethion-dkd]

Post 3

Back to the story it’s 1pm Chicago time.. waiting on room inspection.. there always late but as long as I keep to myself and roomie does the same I’ll get a pass.

Talked about born at Clark air base, a little family history and now back where it left off. Even as a baby I was never told any stories that were good. I never knew that having a child sounded more like a burden then a gift. The stories I did hear at a later date were definitely shocking to me. “Your dad did this your dad did that, no money, no food, always drinking”. I think one time my Dad told me he was married before meeting my mom in Korea when he was stationed there. Honestly, the only happy moment he talked about was meeting my mom and chasing her around Korea for 7 months before having one date. The rest is history. I can’t describe as a baby or toddler how my life was, my parents didn’t really talk about it, imagine asking your parents how things were when you were a baby and your Dad tries to tell you positive things then your mother just stops him yelling and reminding him off the wrong he did. That he was crazy drinking every night, partying all hours of the night, not having money for food or milk with children at home. As you imagine that is very traumatizing. After hours of of fighting, screaming, crying. It was our turn.

[ethion-dkd]

Post 2

Born July 1985, to an American airman, and South Korean mother... I am the only boy I have an older sister 3 years older I think. I was born Clark air base in the philipens, and right off the back I was considered bad luck.. my mother told me I was premature 3 months, I was born very early incubated for several weeks and really loved.

Imagine asking your mother as a child how you were born or when, and being told, “You, were a premature baby, the Doctor don’t know you make it. But you make it.”

As a child, innocent and living a happy go lucky life, I smiled laughed and yelled I’m strong of course I make it...

Ok , let’s stop and let me give you all some history about my parents.. so you know...

[ethion-dkd]

Post 1

My name is DKD. I’m 35, I want to write about my life here and tell you a story. This story is true. I can’t promise I will write every day or even every week, and month. Some days are better then others, but I can’t continue to believe that I’m the only person that feels this way. My hope is to spread awareness, bring us together and provide a safe place for sharing..

Unaware if there is material like mine on the market. I wouldn’t know, I’m to scared to look maybe, and fear that if there is my story isn’t worth writing about. I’ve doesn’t a decade thinking and trying to write my story but never had success.. every time I had something my parents found out and shamed me or homeless even friends discouraged it. This is a raw edit. A real take no proof reading just written from my brain as much as I know. So thank you for listening. If you get lost ask questions. Not understanding something I’ll help you understand the best I can..