Zappa, PhD

(semi-rp blog run by ufcosmo) Lead Scientist running the Illyrian Mobile Spiritual Observatory.

[etiquettestartshere]

"I've found my purpose... Now for my calling!"

An ask-RP blog for UFCosmo's strive Zappa take.

↪INFO

The Finnish Spiritual Observatory has taken to a mobile branch for on-the-fly research and on-site data gathering! The Illyrian Mobile Spiritual Observatory travels around Europe, searching for ghostly or informational phenomena, helping those addled with spirits along the way.

Sometimes, though, ghosts can be found roaming in the vehicle itself...

This blog is ran by @ufcosmo - comments will come from this url.

Blog runner is an adult. If minors are uncomfortable with any possible content on this blog, DNI or block if you want.

Personal accounts and RP blogs are free to interact!

If I take a while to respond, it's likely that I am drawing something to accompany the post.

No DMing, sorry.

This blog is PRIMARILY an ask blog, SECONDARILY an RP blog. Most of my posts are simply emulating what Zappa would be like on tumblr.

This blog is also used as a collection for Zappa posts.

Also OP hasn't roleplayed properly in like, nearly a decade, so please be patient about that.

↪RULES

General commonly-used GG RP blog rules apply.

NSFW, gore and angst OK!

Please be civil! I am only human.

This blog may or may not die/go through a massive overhaul when Zappa gets into strive for real.

↪TAGS

»OOC« - Out of Character, parts that are out of character.

»Reblog« - Specifically reblogged Zappa posts. Not used for general reblogs.

»Report Filings« - In character as Zappa, posts that have in character moments as Zappa.

»Haunting Whispers« - In character as S-Ko or other ghosts, posts that have in character moments as such.

»Love Letters« - Asks

»Be Careful What You Wish For« - RP

Appropriate (general) trigger and content warning tags will be used when needed. Tags like "possession" or "ghosts" will not be used, this is to be expected with a Zappa blog.

[etiquettestartshere]

@my-blade-is-your-blade (Delilah and Bedman?)

A small girl enters the Illyrian Mobile Observatory, closely guarded by a huge, robotic bed.

Hello, mister Zappa. This may be weird, but I think my brother is inside this machine, or is the machine, or gave power to this non-sapient, or... it's complicated.

She continues to explain Romeo's backstory.

So, could you try to figure out what Romeo's deal is? Can you get him out of here?

Hmmm... Weird indeed.

A lot is being suggested here. It's a bit difficult to narrow it down to a single possibility... Though his spirit carrying on isn't unlikely.

With that being said, clearly, his will remains. I think it's quite sweet.

[etiquettestartshere]

Do you have any new year’s resolutions this year? Like maybe not being such a chud

A question for Randy!

Kidding. I want to read more books this year.

[etiquettestartshere]

Happy new year gay boy

Happy new year my personal cyberbully!

[etiquettestartshere]

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! I got socks. I actually quite needed them, so I'm happy.

[ufcosmo]

Zappa will be real in strive in 2026.

[etiquettestartshere]

If you find yourself in a situation where spirits or demons are taking advantage of you, remember to be grateful that it's not happening to me for the 70th time.

[hell-news]

Demons you say 😈

[etiquettestartshere]

Yes. Every year, demons are responsible for on average 50 human deaths. While rare, they're more common than death by shark attack, for an example. Please be informed and prepared before summoning any demons.

[etiquettestartshere]

If you find yourself in a situation where spirits or demons are taking advantage of you, remember to be grateful that it's not happening to me for the 70th time.

[etiquettestartshere]

Bet you’re slouching right now as you read this ask.

Don’t try to adjust your posture now shrimp boy

(crack crack crack) What are you talking about?

[etiquettestartshere]

Just so gay and fat

Not even...

[etiquettestartshere]

Greetings Zappa, I have come to partake in your people’s seasonal festivities, Merry Christmas.

[ @the-sanctus-maximus-populi ]

(Ariels?!) Merry Christmas too you too...?

[etiquettestartshere]

[you see a twink eating out of the bird feeder near you]

@crimson-the-raven

So sad... the economy is in shambles... poor little twinks are forced to eat nothing but birdseed...

[crimson-the-raven]

You think I am doing this because of the economy.....

[etiquettestartshere]

I've had hard times myself, comrade.

[hell-news]

Today on Hell news 😈

The local twink population has begun eating out of our bird feeders

That's all for today's hell news 😈

This message is brought to you by testosterone Burger eat your hormones

[etiquettestartshere]

VAYLIN DON'T ENDORSE EATING TESTOSTERONE IT CAUSES LIVER DAMAGE!!!!

[etiquettestartshere]

[you see a twink eating out of the bird feeder near you]

@crimson-the-raven

So sad... the economy is in shambles... poor little twinks are forced to eat nothing but birdseed...

[crimson-the-raven]

You think I am doing this because of the economy.....

[etiquettestartshere]

I've had hard times myself, comrade.

[etiquettestartshere]

[you see a twink eating out of the bird feeder near you]

@crimson-the-raven

So sad... the economy is in shambles... poor little twinks are forced to eat nothing but birdseed...

[etiquettestartshere]

(mod of @illyrian-teahouse but being sent as your average oblivious anon)

okay so yknow the tea house by the underside bakery? the one with the creepy owner who never opens her eyes?? yea i think i saw a demon break into her shop????

like it was the middle of the night but it def wasnt a gear. it had glowing blue eyes + claws + a tail, real creepy shit

weird thing was it technically *didnt* break in??? like ik what i said but like it just opened the door and went inside. tried to go in myself a few seconds later but couldnt open it, even tho i didnt hear the door lock after it went inside

anyways im scared as hell so uhhhhhhh stop by + investigate? please??

Curious. You can never discount a possible ghost. I'll be there as soon as I can.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Mako yawns as she opens up her teahouse for the day. Last night really sucked.

However, upon noticing you she immediately blinks to attention.

Ah! Greetings! Welcome to the teahouse!!

[etiquettestartshere]

Hello! I'm here in response to a call reporting a ghost sighting? Is it okay if I, well, investigate? It's for the sake of local safety, is all.

[illyrian-teahouse]

A ghost sighting? Well, alright, though I can't say I've seen any ghosts lately…

Would you mind if I made some tea for you in the meantime?

[etiquettestartshere]

Go right ahead. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.

Zappa made himself comfortable at a small table, eyeing his surroundings.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Of course! It's a bit of a slow day today, so ask away!

She moves to her workspace to prepare a cup of chamomile tea.

[etiquettestartshere]

Okay, some simple questions to begin:

Zappa whips out his notepad from one of his bags.

Have you noticed any strange occurrences or impossible circumstances such as object levitation, unmanned interaction, material transformation or manifestations?

[illyrian-teahouse]

Can't say I have. I like to make sure all my equipment stays firmly rooted by the laws of physics.

[etiquettestartshere]

Okay... Do you live alone? If so, do you hear disturbances like footsteps at night?

[illyrian-teahouse]

I live by myself, yes. I'm typically quite the heavy sleeper, though, so even if there was something going on at night, I doubt I'd hear it.

[etiquettestartshere]

Hmm... hmm... He scribbles down a few notes.

Okay, I'm going to get a little esoteric now. Are you in possession of any items that may attract spirits, such as occult items or certain crystals?

[illyrian-teahouse]

She places the cup of tea at your table, shrugging.

Not that I know of. It's not really my vibe.

[etiquettestartshere]

Good to ask anyway. Here's my last question. Are you in vicinity of graveyards, burial sites, memorials or other locations associated with the dead?

[illyrian-teahouse]

There's like, the town cemetery, I guess? But that's all the way on the other side of town so I don't know if that counts?

[etiquettestartshere]

Hm... Given your answers I can't really confirm that a ghost is even here. There's a couple other things I could do, though, if you're feeling inclined.

[illyrian-teahouse]

What do you suggest?

[etiquettestartshere]

Well, a general scan of the surrounding area to see if there's any likelihood of a ghost manifesting. It shouldn't take too long. Zappa begins pull out a menagerie of small devices.

[illyrian-teahouse]

I don't see the harm in doing so. By all means, scan away.

[etiquettestartshere]

On it, then.

Zappa begins to set up his scanning device. He plugs in various cables and sets up a little receiving dish. When it boots, he gets to work with running a scan.

It's a scan based on my own conjecture. Ghosts tend to manifest given a specific set of circumstances, so if you can isolate those, you can find the likelihood of manifestation. It's my own Zappa Scale. ...This will take a couple minutes regardless. If I were in the IMSO, this would be quite a bit faster.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Please, take your time. No need to rush these things.

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa takes a sip from his tea.

... It's clear that he doesn't like the silence that comes with waiting. So, I'm curious, what made you want to run this teahouse?

[illyrian-teahouse]

She shrugs.

I just like the idea of being my own boss, I guess. I noticed a lack of cafe-like establishments in the area and figured hey, why not make tea.

[etiquettestartshere]

That's a reason in on itself. I respect the commitment. ... I do feel bad for arriving so suddenly... If you want, you can ask me anything you'd like.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Well, I guess there is one thing I wanted to ask…

What the fuck is up with those pants.

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa cups his face in his hands.

Everyone keeps asking me this... I just chose to wear it like that... At least I'm not wearing shorts anymore.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Well it… suits you, I guess.

A loud thud is heard.

… The fuck was that??

[etiquettestartshere]

Startled, Zappa shot up.

A GHOST! No... What could that have been?

[illyrian-teahouse]

M-Maybe I just stored one of my kettles wrong and it fell over??

There's another thud.

Two of my kettles…?

And another. And another, before a large crash rings out from behind the counter.

… I'm bad at stacking things…?

[etiquettestartshere]

He puts his hand to his mouth in thought.

Perhaps it really is a ghost... Zappa checks his scanner, which shows nothing yet. He sighs.

I guess it's part of my job to do field work. Come on, let's see what happened.

[illyrian-teahouse]

She follows you to the counter, but looks more embarrassed than scared.

Alright… Why'd we have to do this…?

Behind the counter is exactly what the caller had described. A strange entity with claws and a tail, its body covered in spikes.

It was also flopped over face down on the floor, the cabinet above having it's door broken off its hinges. How did it even fit in there…?

[etiquettestartshere]

In a cold sweat, Zappa leaned over to look at it.

I...Interesting... Curious... Clearly he was terrified, but keeping it together. He slowly turned to face you.

Do you... perhaps... know this individual..?

[illyrian-teahouse]

He's… my partner.

She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose and facing them.

And I can't believe you convinced me to cover for you.

[the-nicevice]

(The demon stood up with inhuman speed cuz, well duh, demon.)

"In my defense, it was funny. Plus, it ain't like you were lyin'! He was lookin' for a ghost, not a demon."

(He turns to face Zappa.)

"Heya, names Vice :)"

(You probably shouldn't question how he made that sound with her mouth.)

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa takes a moment to parse the situation.

Partners... Lovers? (Don't tell me...)

He takes a slightly different stance, as though something heavy were on his shoulders.

Ahem. I'm Zappa. And, in my experience, demons are... different to ghosts. Still under my investigation, though. I will have to ask even more questions... er, if you don't mind.

[the-nicevice]

"Yeppers!! Me and Makocchi are totally tight!!!"

(They give her a tight hug, and though Mako doesn't really hug back, she does smile and lean in to it.)

"And sure thing! I'm always down for a QnA sesh with a fan!!"

(He perches himself on the countertop to get comfortable, flashing two thumbs up.)

[etiquettestartshere]

Okay... So, obviously I have some concerns. Regarding... This. Zappa gestures to the both of them.

Mako. Has he... Ever tried to take advantage of you or anything of the sort? That's my biggest worry here. Er, in the way an immortal would a mortal, so to speak. I'm not trying to assume here, I'm just making sure that things are fine.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Well, first of all, they're not really a hell demon. More like an inner demon, a person's "vices" and all that, hence the name. She'll die when her host does. Even then, he's never done anything to me, and he's not the type of demon to do so. She tried playing the whole evil I'm-gonna-eat-your-family deal with her host. Heh, saw through that facade real quick.

The reason he's able to visit on his own is because her host trusts them. And I do too.

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa nods tentatively.

I see. Well, if there's mutual trust involved, then I don't exactly see a problem.

Zappa shudders. Suddenly, the scanner beeps, indicating it's reading is complete. He rushes over to it.

A 2... Very unlikely. I... I think I'll get out of your hair... Something's been wrong with Zappa since Vice announced their partnership with Mako. He's acting a bit unusual.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Oh!! Alright… Are you sure?

[etiquettestartshere]

Yeah... It's... It's nothing, really, I- Suddenly, the scanner beeps again. It got a second reading.

A 4... It... It tends to pick up background noise... Haha... Zappa looks a bit ill.

[etiquettestartshere]

(mod of @illyrian-teahouse but being sent as your average oblivious anon)

okay so yknow the tea house by the underside bakery? the one with the creepy owner who never opens her eyes?? yea i think i saw a demon break into her shop????

like it was the middle of the night but it def wasnt a gear. it had glowing blue eyes + claws + a tail, real creepy shit

weird thing was it technically *didnt* break in??? like ik what i said but like it just opened the door and went inside. tried to go in myself a few seconds later but couldnt open it, even tho i didnt hear the door lock after it went inside

anyways im scared as hell so uhhhhhhh stop by + investigate? please??

Curious. You can never discount a possible ghost. I'll be there as soon as I can.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Mako yawns as she opens up her teahouse for the day. Last night really sucked.

However, upon noticing you she immediately blinks to attention.

Ah! Greetings! Welcome to the teahouse!!

[etiquettestartshere]

Hello! I'm here in response to a call reporting a ghost sighting? Is it okay if I, well, investigate? It's for the sake of local safety, is all.

[illyrian-teahouse]

A ghost sighting? Well, alright, though I can't say I've seen any ghosts lately…

Would you mind if I made some tea for you in the meantime?

[etiquettestartshere]

Go right ahead. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.

Zappa made himself comfortable at a small table, eyeing his surroundings.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Of course! It's a bit of a slow day today, so ask away!

She moves to her workspace to prepare a cup of chamomile tea.

[etiquettestartshere]

Okay, some simple questions to begin:

Zappa whips out his notepad from one of his bags.

Have you noticed any strange occurrences or impossible circumstances such as object levitation, unmanned interaction, material transformation or manifestations?

[illyrian-teahouse]

Can't say I have. I like to make sure all my equipment stays firmly rooted by the laws of physics.

[etiquettestartshere]

Okay... Do you live alone? If so, do you hear disturbances like footsteps at night?

[illyrian-teahouse]

I live by myself, yes. I'm typically quite the heavy sleeper, though, so even if there was something going on at night, I doubt I'd hear it.

[etiquettestartshere]

Hmm... hmm... He scribbles down a few notes.

Okay, I'm going to get a little esoteric now. Are you in possession of any items that may attract spirits, such as occult items or certain crystals?

[illyrian-teahouse]

She places the cup of tea at your table, shrugging.

Not that I know of. It's not really my vibe.

[etiquettestartshere]

Good to ask anyway. Here's my last question. Are you in vicinity of graveyards, burial sites, memorials or other locations associated with the dead?

[illyrian-teahouse]

There's like, the town cemetery, I guess? But that's all the way on the other side of town so I don't know if that counts?

[etiquettestartshere]

Hm... Given your answers I can't really confirm that a ghost is even here. There's a couple other things I could do, though, if you're feeling inclined.

[illyrian-teahouse]

What do you suggest?

[etiquettestartshere]

Well, a general scan of the surrounding area to see if there's any likelihood of a ghost manifesting. It shouldn't take too long. Zappa begins pull out a menagerie of small devices.

[illyrian-teahouse]

I don't see the harm in doing so. By all means, scan away.

[etiquettestartshere]

On it, then.

Zappa begins to set up his scanning device. He plugs in various cables and sets up a little receiving dish. When it boots, he gets to work with running a scan.

It's a scan based on my own conjecture. Ghosts tend to manifest given a specific set of circumstances, so if you can isolate those, you can find the likelihood of manifestation. It's my own Zappa Scale. ...This will take a couple minutes regardless. If I were in the IMSO, this would be quite a bit faster.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Please, take your time. No need to rush these things.

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa takes a sip from his tea.

... It's clear that he doesn't like the silence that comes with waiting. So, I'm curious, what made you want to run this teahouse?

[illyrian-teahouse]

She shrugs.

I just like the idea of being my own boss, I guess. I noticed a lack of cafe-like establishments in the area and figured hey, why not make tea.

[etiquettestartshere]

That's a reason in on itself. I respect the commitment. ... I do feel bad for arriving so suddenly... If you want, you can ask me anything you'd like.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Well, I guess there is one thing I wanted to ask…

What the fuck is up with those pants.

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa cups his face in his hands.

Everyone keeps asking me this... I just chose to wear it like that... At least I'm not wearing shorts anymore.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Well it… suits you, I guess.

A loud thud is heard.

… The fuck was that??

[etiquettestartshere]

Startled, Zappa shot up.

A GHOST! No... What could that have been?

[illyrian-teahouse]

M-Maybe I just stored one of my kettles wrong and it fell over??

There's another thud.

Two of my kettles…?

And another. And another, before a large crash rings out from behind the counter.

… I'm bad at stacking things…?

[etiquettestartshere]

He puts his hand to his mouth in thought.

Perhaps it really is a ghost... Zappa checks his scanner, which shows nothing yet. He sighs.

I guess it's part of my job to do field work. Come on, let's see what happened.

[illyrian-teahouse]

She follows you to the counter, but looks more embarrassed than scared.

Alright… Why'd we have to do this…?

Behind the counter is exactly what the caller had described. A strange entity with claws and a tail, its body covered in spikes.

It was also flopped over face down on the floor, the cabinet above having it's door broken off its hinges. How did it even fit in there…?

[etiquettestartshere]

In a cold sweat, Zappa leaned over to look at it.

I...Interesting... Curious... Clearly he was terrified, but keeping it together. He slowly turned to face you.

Do you... perhaps... know this individual..?

[illyrian-teahouse]

He's… my partner.

She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose and facing them.

And I can't believe you convinced me to cover for you.

[the-nicevice]

(The demon stood up with inhuman speed cuz, well duh, demon.)

"In my defense, it was funny. Plus, it ain't like you were lyin'! He was lookin' for a ghost, not a demon."

(He turns to face Zappa.)

"Heya, names Vice :)"

(You probably shouldn't question how he made that sound with her mouth.)

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa takes a moment to parse the situation.

Partners... Lovers? (Don't tell me...)

He takes a slightly different stance, as though something heavy were on his shoulders.

Ahem. I'm Zappa. And, in my experience, demons are... different to ghosts. Still under my investigation, though. I will have to ask even more questions... er, if you don't mind.

[the-nicevice]

"Yeppers!! Me and Makocchi are totally tight!!!"

(They give her a tight hug, and though Mako doesn't really hug back, she does smile and lean in to it.)

"And sure thing! I'm always down for a QnA sesh with a fan!!"

(He perches himself on the countertop to get comfortable, flashing two thumbs up.)

[etiquettestartshere]

Okay... So, obviously I have some concerns. Regarding... This. Zappa gestures to the both of them.

Mako. Has he... Ever tried to take advantage of you or anything of the sort? That's my biggest worry here. Er, in the way an immortal would a mortal, so to speak. I'm not trying to assume here, I'm just making sure that things are fine.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Well, first of all, they're not really a hell demon. More like an inner demon, a person's "vices" and all that, hence the name. She'll die when her host does. Even then, he's never done anything to me, and he's not the type of demon to do so. She tried playing the whole evil I'm-gonna-eat-your-family deal with her host. Heh, saw through that facade real quick.

The reason he's able to visit on his own is because her host trusts them. And I do too.

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa nods tentatively.

I see. Well, if there's mutual trust involved, then I don't exactly see a problem.

Zappa shudders. Suddenly, the scanner beeps, indicating it's reading is complete. He rushes over to it.

A 2... Very unlikely. I... I think I'll get out of your hair... Something's been wrong with Zappa since Vice announced their partnership with Mako. He's acting a bit unusual.

[etiquettestartshere]

(mod of @illyrian-teahouse but being sent as your average oblivious anon)

okay so yknow the tea house by the underside bakery? the one with the creepy owner who never opens her eyes?? yea i think i saw a demon break into her shop????

like it was the middle of the night but it def wasnt a gear. it had glowing blue eyes + claws + a tail, real creepy shit

weird thing was it technically *didnt* break in??? like ik what i said but like it just opened the door and went inside. tried to go in myself a few seconds later but couldnt open it, even tho i didnt hear the door lock after it went inside

anyways im scared as hell so uhhhhhhh stop by + investigate? please??

Curious. You can never discount a possible ghost. I'll be there as soon as I can.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Mako yawns as she opens up her teahouse for the day. Last night really sucked.

However, upon noticing you she immediately blinks to attention.

Ah! Greetings! Welcome to the teahouse!!

[etiquettestartshere]

Hello! I'm here in response to a call reporting a ghost sighting? Is it okay if I, well, investigate? It's for the sake of local safety, is all.

[illyrian-teahouse]

A ghost sighting? Well, alright, though I can't say I've seen any ghosts lately…

Would you mind if I made some tea for you in the meantime?

[etiquettestartshere]

Go right ahead. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.

Zappa made himself comfortable at a small table, eyeing his surroundings.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Of course! It's a bit of a slow day today, so ask away!

She moves to her workspace to prepare a cup of chamomile tea.

[etiquettestartshere]

Okay, some simple questions to begin:

Zappa whips out his notepad from one of his bags.

Have you noticed any strange occurrences or impossible circumstances such as object levitation, unmanned interaction, material transformation or manifestations?

[illyrian-teahouse]

Can't say I have. I like to make sure all my equipment stays firmly rooted by the laws of physics.

[etiquettestartshere]

Okay... Do you live alone? If so, do you hear disturbances like footsteps at night?

[illyrian-teahouse]

I live by myself, yes. I'm typically quite the heavy sleeper, though, so even if there was something going on at night, I doubt I'd hear it.

[etiquettestartshere]

Hmm... hmm... He scribbles down a few notes.

Okay, I'm going to get a little esoteric now. Are you in possession of any items that may attract spirits, such as occult items or certain crystals?

[illyrian-teahouse]

She places the cup of tea at your table, shrugging.

Not that I know of. It's not really my vibe.

[etiquettestartshere]

Good to ask anyway. Here's my last question. Are you in vicinity of graveyards, burial sites, memorials or other locations associated with the dead?

[illyrian-teahouse]

There's like, the town cemetery, I guess? But that's all the way on the other side of town so I don't know if that counts?

[etiquettestartshere]

Hm... Given your answers I can't really confirm that a ghost is even here. There's a couple other things I could do, though, if you're feeling inclined.

[illyrian-teahouse]

What do you suggest?

[etiquettestartshere]

Well, a general scan of the surrounding area to see if there's any likelihood of a ghost manifesting. It shouldn't take too long. Zappa begins pull out a menagerie of small devices.

[illyrian-teahouse]

I don't see the harm in doing so. By all means, scan away.

[etiquettestartshere]

On it, then.

Zappa begins to set up his scanning device. He plugs in various cables and sets up a little receiving dish. When it boots, he gets to work with running a scan.

It's a scan based on my own conjecture. Ghosts tend to manifest given a specific set of circumstances, so if you can isolate those, you can find the likelihood of manifestation. It's my own Zappa Scale. ...This will take a couple minutes regardless. If I were in the IMSO, this would be quite a bit faster.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Please, take your time. No need to rush these things.

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa takes a sip from his tea.

... It's clear that he doesn't like the silence that comes with waiting. So, I'm curious, what made you want to run this teahouse?

[illyrian-teahouse]

She shrugs.

I just like the idea of being my own boss, I guess. I noticed a lack of cafe-like establishments in the area and figured hey, why not make tea.

[etiquettestartshere]

That's a reason in on itself. I respect the commitment. ... I do feel bad for arriving so suddenly... If you want, you can ask me anything you'd like.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Well, I guess there is one thing I wanted to ask…

What the fuck is up with those pants.

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa cups his face in his hands.

Everyone keeps asking me this... I just chose to wear it like that... At least I'm not wearing shorts anymore.

[illyrian-teahouse]

Well it… suits you, I guess.

A loud thud is heard.

… The fuck was that??

[etiquettestartshere]

Startled, Zappa shot up.

A GHOST! No... What could that have been?

[illyrian-teahouse]

M-Maybe I just stored one of my kettles wrong and it fell over??

There's another thud.

Two of my kettles…?

And another. And another, before a large crash rings out from behind the counter.

… I'm bad at stacking things…?

[etiquettestartshere]

He puts his hand to his mouth in thought.

Perhaps it really is a ghost... Zappa checks his scanner, which shows nothing yet. He sighs.

I guess it's part of my job to do field work. Come on, let's see what happened.

[illyrian-teahouse]

She follows you to the counter, but looks more embarrassed than scared.

Alright… Why'd we have to do this…?

Behind the counter is exactly what the caller had described. A strange entity with claws and a tail, its body covered in spikes.

It was also flopped over face down on the floor, the cabinet above having it's door broken off its hinges. How did it even fit in there…?

[etiquettestartshere]

In a cold sweat, Zappa leaned over to look at it.

I...Interesting... Curious... Clearly he was terrified, but keeping it together. He slowly turned to face you.

Do you... perhaps... know this individual..?

[illyrian-teahouse]

He's… my partner.

She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose and facing them.

And I can't believe you convinced me to cover for you.

[the-nicevice]

(The demon stood up with inhuman speed cuz, well duh, demon.)

"In my defense, it was funny. Plus, it ain't like you were lyin'! He was lookin' for a ghost, not a demon."

(He turns to face Zappa.)

"Heya, names Vice :)"

(You probably shouldn't question how he made that sound with her mouth.)

[etiquettestartshere]

Zappa takes a moment to parse the situation.

Partners... Lovers? (Don't tell me...)

He takes a slightly different stance, as though something heavy were on his shoulders.

Ahem. I'm Zappa. And, in my experience, demons are... different to ghosts. Still under my investigation, though. I will have to ask even more questions... er, if you don't mind.

[the-nicevice]

"Yeppers!! Me and Makocchi are totally tight!!!"

(They give her a tight hug, and though Mako doesn't really hug back, she does smile and lean in to it.)

"And sure thing! I'm always down for a QnA sesh with a fan!!"

(He perches himself on the countertop to get comfortable, flashing two thumbs up.)

[etiquettestartshere]

Okay... So, obviously I have some concerns. Regarding... This. Zappa gestures to the both of them.

Mako. Has he... Ever tried to take advantage of you or anything of the sort? That's my biggest worry here. Er, in the way an immortal would a mortal, so to speak. I'm not trying to assume here, I'm just making sure that things are fine.